What Love Has Lost (15 page)

"No, let's go tonight." I confirm. They all stare at me with shocking looks, but I feel quite as confident as I'll ever be. Lord knows that this is one huge mistake that I can make for the rest of my life. Or, it can be the best day of my life.

~*~

Wanting to hate the tramp some more, she decides to wear a trampy short red dress for tonight! Who does she impress, really? Oh, right, she's trying to get Nathan in the sack! Well, she better try harder because it'll be damn complicated to get Nathan in bed with her!

Maybe I should wear something trampy as well?

Whoa, wait, what am I aiming for - desperate? I can't let Hattie get inside my mind. I can't let Nathan go wondering about my ways, and how I am acting very strange and different when Hattie, Blake, Rhiannon, and Grady are around. Besides, people will be very curious into what I am thinking.

My mind has definitely increased its range, meaning that I am going ballistic!

Finishing up on dressing for our casual night, Grady calls everyone from downstairs. We all finish and run outside towards the car. Nathan decides to drive all of us to the karaoke bar, since he is the one who is so familiar with the place.

~*~

Arriving at the karaoke bar, the place is fully packed. To my default, my nerves increase as I want to delay from singing in front of people. I cannot be performing tonight, not with all these eyes, staring at me!

Somehow, I watch Hattie run towards the DJ and whispers in his ear. He nods and smiles.

I wonder what she's up to.

A strange man walks upon us and introduces himself. "Hello, I'm Victor and welcome to The Garage. I will assist you to your table. Please, follow me." He explains as he grabs four menus from the display.

Walking closer to our table, Victor sets the menus onto each side of the table. "Your waiter will be here momentarily. Otherwise, I hope you enjoy your stay here. We have great food, and the entertainment is exciting as well."

"Victor," Hattie calls. "My friend, Inna, tells me that she wants to sing a little something-something for us tonight." She smiles. I shake my head, vigorously.

Victor arches his eyebrows. "Oh, well, I'll notify my friend, Cal, since he's in charge of the entertainment. Thank you for your request, dear." After explaining, he walks away.

Oh, Hattie is so dead in my book!

~*~

"Are you excited to hear some singing tonight?" the host of the entertainment encourages. Everyone in the audience hollers. "Well, don't we have a crowd for us, tonight? Anyways, our first contestant was sent to me by a request from a young lady over there. Give it up for Miss Inna!"

Oh no, that's me...

Stiffly, someone pushes me out of my seat. Unfortunately, Nathan decides to carry me up to the stage. Grumbling, I push Nathan away from me. However, he quickly runs off the stage before something drastic happens. Suddenly, the microphone is in front of my face. Millions of eyes are staring at me.

"What do you want to sing for us?" the man asks directly.

Then, a thought bubble appears in my mind. "I want to sing 'Fuck You' by Lily Allen."

The music starts as I wait for the lyrics to pop into the screen. Placing the microphone in front of me, I sing the words. Shockingly, everyone gawks at my talent. Yes, I'm a natural born singer. My mother is a good singer as well. Ivy cannot sing, nor can my father, but I have good genes as well. Ivy is much more of a dancer, than a singer.

Ending the song, everyone cheers. I smile and laugh before exiting the stage.

"Well, don't we have some talented singers tonight!" the host exclaims. "Who wants to sing, next?"

To my astonishment, Nathan stands up. "I will."

"Well, come on up!" the host commands.

"And I'm bringing my two friends, Grady and Blake." Nathan finishes explaining. Grady and Blake looks at Nathan as if he is going crazy. I don't know what he's up to, but I want to know why he is doing this.

Grady and Blake follow Nathan as they walk towards the stage.

"What's your name, kid?"

"Nathan Hampton and I will be singing 'The Nameless' by Slipknot. Grady and Blake will be my backup singers." He requests. The song continues with a heavy rock mode. I have never heard of this type of band before, since I'm not into heavy metal. I love rock music, but not this type of music.

"Pathetic (benign), accept it (undermine), your opinion (my justification). Happy (safe), Servant (caged), Malice (utter weakness). No toleration, invade (committed), Enraged (admit it). Don't condensed, don't even disagree! Destroy (decay), Disappoint (delay), you've suffered then, now suffer unto me!"

What the hell? Why did he pick this song? Unexpectedly, he jumps out of the stage and walks into the crowd of the audience. They continue singing the song as he leisurely walks towards our table. What the hell are you doing?

"(Don't go) I never wanted anybody more, than I wanted you. (I know) the only thing I ever really loved was hurting you (was hurting you). (Don't go) I never wanted anybody more, than I wanted you (I wanted you). (I know) the only thing I ever really loved was hate!"

He runs back to the stage as the song continues.

"Stay inside this hole, let me take control (dominate)! You are nothing more, you are something less (innocent)! Something has to give, something has to break (omnipresent)! Fingers in your skin, let me savage in (you deserve it)!"

Breathing into the microphone, he starts running towards me, and then pulls my chair away from the table. Surprising me and the rest of the crowd, his face is inches away from mine. I looks like he's going to kiss me in front of these people, but I can be wrong.

"You're mine (I know who you are)!" Nathan finishes the song and crashes his lips, forcefully, in front of these people.

Chapter Fourteen

Can't or Won't?

Replaying the kiss that Nathan performed back at the karaoke, I couldn't help thinking if he meant it or just wanted to make Hattie jealous. I mean, Hattie and Nathan kissed in front of me. Nathan tried admitting himself that Hattie was the one who kissed him, not the other way around. I couldn't stand him! I was so tired of being tortured (emotionally) by him! I was so tired of his stupid lies.

Couldn't I remain happy for once?

Anyways, Rhiannon and Grady went back to Alabama, since they had the dinner rehearsal tomorrow night. I told them that we would be there. We wouldn't miss their night before the real day of their beginning in happiness.

Why couldn't I have what they have? I wanted to be happy, and Nathan refused to give it to me!

"Inna," he whispered, distracting me from my thoughts. My eyes averted to his direction. His emerald eyes appeared to be darker than usual. "I want to take you somewhere. Someplace far away from here." He continued.

What was he doing?

Unexpectedly, he took my hand as I followed him. Suddenly, Hattie jumped in front of us, with her stupid smile on her plastic face. "So, where are you guys heading today? Oh, I know this great Japanese restaurant, Nate! You're going to die for some sushi..." she continued on her ranting, but remarkably, he pushed her to the side. Was he trying to impress me with his new self?

"Where are you going?" she practically exclaimed.

Nathan didn't respond. He just kept avoiding her.

"Nathan, are you okay?" I whispered. He faced towards me as he gently placed his lips against mine. My eyes rapidly blinked, just to make sure that he was real - that I was his only one. "Whoa, what was that for?" I breathed. He chuckled and pulled me closer to him, showing off his new ride: a motorcycle.

My eyes widen like huge saucers. I couldn't believe that he kept his promise! He promised me that he would take us somewhere far away from the world, by using a motorcycle, and he was making his promise. This day couldn't be any better! This was the best day of my life.

"You didn't!" I awed.

Nathan grinned, foolishly, nodding his head. "Oh yes, I did."

As I followed him to the awesome bicycle, he grabbed a helmet for me. I gladly accepted. Hoping onto the motor machine, I was shrieking in excitement. I was so amazed that he and I would run away in a motorcycle. It was my all-time dream!

Nathan was the one who drove as I sat behind him, riding. We rode as fast as we could, but we didn't want to get a speeding ticket and be sent to jail. I wouldn't look great in those jumpsuits. Being behind bars wouldn't go so well with me, because I was claustrophobic.

Anyways, I told Nathan that I've always wanted someone to take me away with a motorcycle. We were sixteen and said everything, especially our dreams. He wanted to find some way to surprise me. He wanted to sweep me off my feet. With him, taking me away on a motorcycle, felt as if he was taking me away with a trusty steed.

I was also the type of girl who was into black leather and daredevils.

♠♣♥♦

Finally, we came to a halt in the dirt road. It was secluded. It was somewhere, where nobody could find us. It was going to be our new spot, next to the train tracks. Being in a small town, I loved being in the outdoors, watching the gorgeous scenery and enjoying the lovely Southern weather.

It wasn't so frigid, such as Colorado. Colorado was a bit too cold for me to handle.

Colorado had those gorgeous Rocky Mountains, but it wasn't home. It was a good place to ski, but still wasn't home. Arkansas was my home. Sure, I wasn't born in Arkansas, but I was raised here. I was raised to be a Southern girl, without the riding horses and square dancing. Okay, I would probably suggest the square dancing, but we did have good steaks.

Coming back to the topic, Nathan turned off the engine. He threw off his helmet as so did I. He ruffled his messy hair and smiled at me. I laughed. "What's so funny?" he asked, raising a bushy eyebrow.

I shook my head. "You know, I still don't forgive you."

He frowned. "Why don't you forgive me? What did I do?" he asked, acting all innocent.

"You know what you did!" I interjected, slapping him onto his arm. I also laughed, because of his oblivious act. He should become an actor, someday. Anyways, after my laughter died down, I became more serious. "Seriously, why did you do it?"

"Do what?" he asked. Was he trying to be an asshole?

"Okay, stop joking, I didn't like what you did, a couple of days ago."

"What are you fucking talking about, Inn?"

"I'm talking about you and Hattie, playing tonsil hockey!" I shouted. Unexpectedly, he slapped me. Okay, that was a bit crossing the line, but I was appalled that Nathan slapped me across the face. Trying to force the tears away from my eyes, I faltered.

"Inn, I'm sorry... I didn't mean..."

Cutting him off, I backed away. "No, you did this on purpose. You did everything on purpose." I licked my lips before going any further. I watched Nathan's facial expression. He was upset. He wasn't angered or annoyed. He was disappointed on himself. Sure, I could see it, but I refused. I was tired of being his doormat.

"You came back into my life. Everything was all right before you stepped back into my life. I didn't care if you were Grady's best man to their wedding. We'll just leave it as that. We'll just attend at their wedding, because it's the day of their happiness. I'll be there for Rhiannon; you'll just be there for Grady." I paused. He didn't interrupt. Instead, he just stood there, staring at me. I inhaled, deeply, before proceeding.

Shutting my eyes, I felt the pain that was intensifying in my cheek. "You wanted to make me a deal. Sure, I'll do anything what you wanted me to do, but all I want is for you to leave after the wedding. You keep hurting me, because I don't love you. You can go ahead and kiss Hattie for all I fucking care! Please, don't kiss me when another woman has feelings for you."

"Inna," he added, but I interrupted.

"No, I don't want you to keep making excuses! I want you to tell me the truth for once!" I shouted. Suddenly, I felt his arms pressing against mine. I begged him to let go of me, but he didn't want to listen. This was what I've always hated about him! He was always arrogant! He didn't want to face the truth. He was always so boastful of himself. I loathed him, more than I ever loved him.

"Nathan, please, let me go!" I begged, struggling to get away from his grasp. On a bad note, he was too strong.

"No, I want you to hear me out." He improvised. Looking into his emerald eyes, they seemed brighter. Trying to force the tears away, I gave up and hugged Nathan, instead. I was so tired of running away. I was so tired of getting hurt. I was so tired of being miserable.

I felt his hand grazed upon my face. He removed the strand of hair, away from my face. "Inna, Hattie kissed me. I did my best to push her away from me, but she was very forceful. She caught me off guard."

I scoffed, not making eye contact. He was fucking lying!

"Inna, I'm telling you the fucking truth." He explained. Then, I made eye contact. His eyes softened. "I'm telling you the truth." He whispered.

Licking my lips, I pushed Nathan away from me.

"Where are you going?" Nathan questioned.

Stopping in between the train tracks, I stood there, waiting if there was a train going to hit me.

"Are you fucking insane? What if a train comes by and hits you?"

"Then, let it hit me. Right now, I'm going to stand here, whether you like it or not. You may push me out of the way, all you like. Be my guest, Nate! But, I think it's better for me to die alone, than to argue with you for the rest of my life!"

"Inna, this is crazy! And I didn't choose to argue with you! You're making things so damn complicated, I have to argue. You're too stubborn, and you're acting very childish, right now. So, step away from the train tracks, and get over here." He commanded. I scoffed, placing two hands upon my hips.

"I'm the one acting childish? Please, you're the one who is making us complicated! I wasn't the one who was up for having sex with you. You brought it yourself, Hampton! Hell, I would regret the day that I fell in love with you." I smirked. This definitely started pissing him off.