What Love Has Lost (16 page)

Stomping his way towards me, I showed no hesitation. I didn't want to move away from these train tracks. If I died in front of a train where Nathan could see, then so be it. At least, I didn't have to suffer through his painful ways.

"Goddammit, Inna, this is ridiculous! You need to step away from the tracks!" he repeated.

From afar, we've both heard a train honking. I didn't try to run away. Within minutes, the train moved closer to me. Nathan started yelling at me, ordering me to step away. However, I didn't listen. I didn't bother leaving. Hearing him cussing, I knew that he didn't want to watch this.

Was he showing as if he cared about me? Hell, he kissed another girl in front of me! He broke up with me because my parents didn't want to meet him! He shattered my heart into a million bits of pieces and didn't bother, picking it up! He did all of this to me!

The train was a few feet away from me. As it came closer to me, Nathan ran into me, pushing me away from the train tracks. I fell backwards, as I found myself lying down with Nathan on top of me. Honestly, dying in front of a train scared the living shit out of me. However, I was surprised that Nathan actually rescued me.

He panted. "What were you thinking?"

"I thought you were just going to stand there, just to watch me make the biggest mistake."

He scoffed. "No, I couldn't."

Rolling my eyes, I scooted my body away from him. However, he held onto my wrists. "You're not going anywhere, until you explain yourself."

"Then, I'll just lay here onto this hard, cold ground, with you on top of me."

He chuckled. "As kinky as that sounds, I want you to talk."

"As kinky as that sounds, I don't want to discuss anything with you!" I spitted.

Nathan rolled his neck. "Fine, I'll start. What the fuck was that out there? Were you that insane to stand in front of the train, when it was going to hit you? You could've died!"

"And are you saying that you care?" I interrupted his speech.

He caught himself. "Of course, I care. I don't want anybody to risk his or her lives for something stupid. That, out there, was suicidal." He referred.

"Ha, only if you knew that I went through an emotional state of depression. It was far by worse than me, confronting a train." I smirked. He gave me a serious look. Rolling my eyes, I tilted my head to the side. "Are you going to let me go?"

"No, I want to keep talking."

Pursing my lips together, I surrendered. "Fine, proceed onto your lecture, Dr. Hampton."

He groaned. "There you go, again, trying to avoid the question. Why don't you admit it that you're running away from something? Maybe you're running away from someone, from me."

"Running away from you? As if! I think you're hiding something as well. I'm not the only one who being victimized." I reminded.

"What are you saying?" he questioned, trying to wring all these answers out of me.

"I'm saying that you still love me." I admitted.

He kept quiet. He didn't quickly respond. I was right. He still loved me.

"Please, say it. Say that you still love me. I want to know. If you say that you don't love me, then I understand. I just want you to tell me the truth. I can tell from your eyes. There's still something there, burning inside for me." I paused. I watched him licking his lips.

Suddenly, a hand of mine grazed upon his face. We made eye contact. "Say it," I commanded in a whisper. Then, I felt his body rising up, away from me. I slowly sat up, walking towards him.

"Where are you going?" I asked in a forceful manner.

"We're going back home, end of discussion." He admitted, while putting on his helmet. "C'mon, let's go home. It's getting colder by the minute. Don't want you to get a cold."

Crossing my arms across my chest, I wanted to ask him again. "Why are you avoiding this simple command? Are you afraid or something?"

"Inna, drop it. We're going home." Nathan distracted.

"No," I said, forcefully grabbing his hand. Placing his hand onto my chest, I wanted him to feel my heartbeat. "Do you feel that? I just want you to know that I'm a real person with emotional feelings, and you're being an asshole, by avoiding this conception. Face it, Nate. Where was that guy who had no problem in professing his love for me?"

"I can't talk about this. Not right now." He whispered.

"Can't or won't?" I corrected.

Nathan stared at me into his eyes. He turned on the engine and said, "I can't."

♠♣♥♦

"Wait, he said that to you?" Rhiannon asked me through the phone.

Sighing, I spilt the news to Rhiannon. I loved our girl chats. It was always random and hilarious. Yet, we have had time to share what was going through our lives. It helped the both of us cope. If one of us were frustrated, then the other would be there for comfort and guidance.

"So, did he say it?" Rhiannon teased.

"No, he didn't. He tried avoiding it."

"You know, you need a vacation - a getaway from Nathan Hampton and his male drama." Rhiannon laughed. I scoffed, while rubbing my eyes.

"Ah, if only, I would love to visit the Bahamas. It would be a fantastic journey for me to stay. Besides, there are exotic men with a wonderful view." I joked.

"Right, but you have been stressed out with Nathan, lately. You two act like a marriage couple, compared to Grady and I." she chuckled. Speaking of Grady, I haven't heard from him since the day of the karaoke.

"Where is Grady, anyways?" I asked.

"Oh, he's at the bar, getting drunk, and spending his lonely nights of being a bachelor before becoming a husband." Rhiannon explained. "Men, they always want something! They complain about the littlest things, such as wanting things." She preached.

"Amen," I praised. Suddenly, a knock appeared onto my door. "Hey, I gotta go, so I'll talk to you later?" Rhiannon agreed on talking more later, as we both hung up the phone. "Uh, come in."

The door slowly opened as I saw a young girl, poking her nose inside. It must be Alyce.

"Alyce, you don't have to stand out there. You may come inside." I advised. She didn't hesitate, so she swiftly walked into the room and shut the door. "You can sit next to me, too, if you want." Without hesitation, she finally sat beside me.

"So, what's on your mind, kid?"

"First, I'm not a kid. I'm practically an adult." She corrected. My mouth opened. "Second, I want to tell you that I was nosing around about your conversation that you had on the phone. My brother may be an idiot, but I know that he still cares about you." Alyce informed.

"Well, can you tell him that he's being so complicated and just wouldn't confess?"

She shook her head, vigorously. "No, don't force my brother into anything. He won't listen."

"Right, I should've known." I trailed, biting onto my lower lip. Then, I felt her hand placed on top of mine. "Uh, thank you?"

"This is a sign of gratitude, so you're welcome. Oh, if you want any more girl advice, I'm always here. Besides, I prefer you instead of that blonde bimbo, Hattie. She's so clingy to my brother and she's annoying. If we lived in China, she could wake up half the population with her whiney voice."

I couldn't help but laugh. She was right, but I didn't know that she carried humor as well. She must've really hated Hattie, since she barely showed her emotions. To be honest, it was good hearing from Nathan's younger sister, accepting me as a person. I thought she hated me as well, but it turned out that I was dead wrong.

I could start to love Alyce as well. "Thank you. Oh, my door is always open when you need me." I clarified.

She nodded and smiled before leaving my room to go to bed. Stopping in front of the door, she said one more thing before regretting it for tonight. "If you and my brother decide on getting married, will you make me a part of your wedding as a bridesmaid?"

A smile crept upon my face. "Of course, I will."

"Thanks, good night." She greeted.

"Good night." I reciprocated. Watching her shut the door, I reached towards the lamp to turn off the lights to get ready for bed.

Chapter Fifteen

The Dinner Rehearsal

Going back to Alabama, I had a good time with Nathan's family. Of course, I was relieved that I wouldn't see Hattie anymore. I wanted to get away from her. Actually, I wanted Nathan to stay away from her. Not that I was jealous or anything, but the girl crept everyone out. Okay, I was a tad jealous. Although, I was surprised that his parents didn't bother her company. Ugh, I bet elders were more pathetic than I thought they would be.

Nathan hadn't talked to me, since the day we were near the train tracks. I wondered what was going through his mind. Why wouldn't he tell me that he still loved me? Well, I should ask the question myself. Why didn't I tell him that I still had feelings for him?

Replaying every moment that we shared, I felt so idiotic. Why did I feel so pathetic? It seemed as if I wanted to repudiate the truth. I wanted to stay safe. I didn't want to get hurt again. I didn't want the same rejection that Nathan did. He pushed me away. I loved him so much.

Sure, we had our arguments at times. Before, we didn't seem to argue about anything. Now, we argue as if we were married or something. It made me guilty.

Hearing Rhiannon's screams, my thoughts diverted to her attention. "Oh my god, I don't even have the perfect dress for our dinner rehearsal!" Rhiannon exclaimed.

"We went shopping a month ago!" I complained.

Rhiannon's eyes blood shot towards me. "Do you think that Grady's mother and my parents would appreciate that their daughter and, soon to be, daughter-in-law, looked unsophisticated?"

"Uh," I muttered. Rhiannon filled in for me.

"Exactly," she clarified. "I think you need something new to wear as well."

"What's wrong with the way I dress?" I questioned, looking down at myself. Rhiannon stood there, speculating me. She clicked her teeth together. "Aw, c'mon, I don't need something very fancy to wear for tonight. I'll find something appropriate for tonight; no worries." I smiled.

Rhiannon rolled her eyes. "Inn, this isn't for me or Grady. It's for my family and his family. I also think that you and Nathan should talk together and compromise. You two are always arguing about the silliest things. I think you two are denying your feelings as of pushing each other further away..." she trailed.

Sitting down next to me, she continued. "C'mon, Inn, I know you. You are a spirited person, with a bubbly sense of humor." She smiled, as I couldn't help but to smile with her as well. "I understand the feelings that you and Nate shared. You guys love to argue, but face it. Love between you and him, it's still there." She advised.

The words floated around my brain. Then, silence broke in between us.

She inhaled. "I'm going to get ready, first. Then, you and I will go shopping and get some girl time. Besides, today is my last day of being a bachelorette. I'll be the next Christopher in the family. Ah, Mrs. Rhiannon Christopher." She ringed.

Maybe Rhiannon was right. Maybe I shouldn't run away from my feelings. Actually, I shouldn't run away from my feelings. The truth: I was in love. Staring at the coffee table, with no intention of what I wanted to do next, Grady walked pass by me.

"Why are you so gloomy, Inna?" Grady asked as he started sitting down next to me.

My eyes adverted to him. "Uh, I'm just thinking, that's all."

"Are you nervous that you and Nathan are doing a speech for us tonight?" He asked.

I was supposed to write a speech! Oh god, I totally forgot! I wasn't prepared.

"About that; look, I'm going to be totally honest," I paused, staring into Grady's blue eyes. "I forgot about the speech." I whispered.

Grady didn't scowl at me. Instead, he gave me a hug - a warm, inviting, friendly hug. He inhaled as he smelt the sweet scent of me. Not moving, our moment somehow has gotten awkward. "Um," I grumbled. "Thanks?"

He chuckled as he released. "Don't worry, I'll ask Nathan to write it down for you."

"As if, Nathan and I are on no speaking terms," I grumbled. "But I don't blame him."

Grady's curious blue eyes bored into my own. "Seems like you two had a rough time over there."

"No kidding," I sighed, ruffled my bangs. "It was pure hell, watching Nathan and this other girl, kissing and giggling and other things that I don't want to mention!"

Grady laughed. "You're jealous." He stated.

"I am not," I gently slapped him across his forearm. "You're so deluded. I'm not jealous, nor would I ever care about who Nathan flirts with. I don't mind that I see him, making out with some random chick, just not Hattie! She's a bitch! She's mean! Oh, one day, she told me to stay out of their way because she rightfully owns him! Can you believe that?" I scoffed.

Grady scratched the back of his head. "Well, in one point's perspective, you're jealous. On another, you have the right to be jealous." He chuckled, again. My mouth gapped open as I slapped him across his arm, hard.

"You're not supportive, you know that?" I growled.

"Ahem," someone interrupted us from our conversation. Grady and I looked towards the stranger's direction. Nathan. "I see that Hattie seemed to be a bit of a trouble to you." He growled.

I stood up, walking towards him. "Nate, I can explain."

"No need," he interrupted, again. "Perhaps, you have the right not to be friends with one of my friends, but Hattie isn't the bad guy." He paused. Why was he sticking up for Hattie? Sure, I understood that it was his best friend, but she hated me!

"Are you saying that I'm the bad guy, here?" I projected, trying to find a way to piss him off.

Nathan croaked a deep chuckle. "No, you're not the bad guy. Hattie's not the bad guy. Nobody is at fault. I'm just saying..."

I cut him off. "Then, what are you saying, Hampton?"

"I'm saying... I'm sorry." He choked.

"You're sorry?" I questioned, arching a dark eyebrow.

He nodded, while looking down at his feet. Abruptly, Grady cleared his throat. We both motioned our heads towards Grady. He grinned. "Great, so you two made up!"