What Remains (16 page)

“Seth…” Tess began, deciding it was time to be on a permanent first name basis with each other.  “Have you ever been married?”

“Yes…a long time ago.”

“I’m sorry it didn’t work out.”

“I am too.”

“Did the two of you have any children together?”

“No, she died before we had any.”

“Do you still miss her?”

“It’s complicated, Tess, we were married, but not happily.”

“Then I won’t ask any more questions.  I was just wondering how long it takes normal people to move on.”

With her ear pressed against him, Tessa could feel him when he chuckled softly.

“I don’t know much about normal people.  You met my family.”

Moving even closer to him for warmth, Tessa giggled softly.  “Even though sometimes I felt I was married to a monster, it’s taking me a long time to get over the divorce.”

“The divorce or the marriage?”

“The marriage, I guess.”

“Was he abusive?”

“Yes.”

“Those situations take a long time to heal from, so don’t rush
yourself.”

“I haven’t been.  I never even thought about dating again until recently.”

“How long have you been divorced?”

“Almost seven years now.”

“Wow, that’s a long time.”

“I was busy,” she explained, which made him laugh.

“Still, that’s a very long time.”

“Well, the truth is, I don’t know anything about dating.  I met my ex when I was fifteen and we were married on my sixteenth birthday.  He was my first and only.”

Placing another light kiss on her forehead, he responded.  “You were just baby.”

“No, I knew what I was doing.  My parents had both died by then and I didn’t want to be a burden on my older brothers and sisters; I married him so I would have a home.”

“So who’s the lucky guy that’s caught your attention?”

“His name is Gregory.  I met him several years ago in college.  He’s teaching at UMass now.  But he’s so much younger than me; I’m having a hard time getting past it.”

“If you’re asking for my advice, I say take it slow.  I’ve been in several relationships with younger women and they never end well.”

“How did you meet your wife?”
             

“We went to Harvard together.”

“What happened?  Why did you fall out of love?”

“When my grandfather died and left me everything, she changed, or maybe I changed, I don’t know.”

“Money screws up everything; whether it’s not having enough or too much.”

“That’s very true.  I was dead set against the inheritance.  I wanted to make it on my own, earn my own way, because I saw what wealth did to my family.  And while I was struggling to get my company up and running, we were a team, we loved each other.  But she decided she wanted more.  She wanted the lifestyle she grew up with.  After that, I resented the fact that she nagged me about going to law school and taking over the old man’s firm, which was a stipulation to the will, knowing how much I loved what I was doing.  So I threw
myself into a career I hated to make her happy, and ended up basically hating my wife, and my life.”

“How did she die?”

“Breast cancer.”

“That must have been hard for you.”

“Actually, I didn’t feel anything for a long time; we were strangers by then.”

“Do you know what I’ve decided?”

“What’s that?” he asked, his breathing growing even and steady, lulling Tessa’s eyes to close involuntarily.

“I don’t think we really know who we are until our hopes and dreams crumble down around us, and what
remains after we sweep up all the broken pieces is our true selves.”

“Spoken like a true Liberal Arts major,” he chuckled against her hair as he placed his arm over Tessa protectively before they both fell to sleep.

Chapter Twelve

It was the first day of classes.  Tessa’s alarm went off at six o’clock, although there was no need for it to.  She had been awake since three, tossing and turning, trying to will herself back to sleep.  Why had she ever imagined that she could do this?  The thought of standing in front of all those young people with their attention fixed on her caused her stomach to twist into knots.  What if they saw through her disguise—summed her up at first glance?  You could put a string of pearls on a pig, her mother always said, but it won’t change the fact that it’s still a pig.  And that’s exactly how Tessa felt about herself at that moment; she was just an ignorant country girl with a few degrees under her belt, masquerading as a scholar. 

As if they could read her thoughts, the retrievers both whined and laid their heads across her stomach, looking up at her with their expressive green eyes.  Tessa thanked them for their empathy and scratched behind their ears.  When they whined again and licked her palms she realized it wasn’t empathy they were expressing, it was desperation.  So she climbed over their massive bodies in order to get out of bed.  As soon as her feet hit the floor they were at her side with their tails wagging and their bladders full, anxious to relieve them. 

Letting them out through the French doors in her living room, bracing herself as they stormed passed, Tessa made the long trek through maze of hallways that lead to the kitchen in order to start the apple cinnamon muffins and coffee.  For as much as Seth declared he wasn’t much for eating breakfast, he consumed whatever she made in record time, and took any leftovers with him to work.  He had even begun requesting that she pack his lunch on the mornings he found her awake and mulling around the mansion before he left.  This pleased her, knowing that he wasn’t going the entire day without taking the time to eat, which she suspected he did before her arrival.  What pleased her even more was the fact that he was starting to put on a little weight around the middle, not a lot and it wasn’t even noticeable unless he had his shirt off, but just enough to show that he was being taken care of properly.

“You have to stop spoiling me,” he scolded on her more than one occasion.  But the twinkle in his eye let her know he was enjoying it.

  Tessa hadn’t seen him since Friday morning.  Friday evening he called to let her know that he had to stay in Boston for the weekend to attend to some family business, and Sunday she had left early and spent the entire day with Gregory.  By the time she returned home, Seth had already retired for the night.  But as she was pondering if the family business had anything to do with Mems’ rapidly declining health since the birthday bash a month before, Tessa heard him begin to stir upstairs, turning on the news channel in his bedroom, and then making his way to the shower.  So she hurried back to her own room to get dressed and ready for her first day of teaching.

The plan was to keep it simple on the first day so she could be relaxed as possible.  A gray pencil skirt and a thin black sleeveless knit top seemed the perfect choice.  It took her awhile to dig through the boxes that had yet to be unpacked, for her gray heels, but found them eventually in the one at the very bottom of the pile.  Before slipping them on, Tessa debated whether pantyhose would be more appropriate, but it was still quite warm during the day, and she had managed to get a decent tan over the summer. 

Deciding on a simple French twist for her hair, all that was left was the makeup, which she kept light and natural, but only for the simple reason that she possessed no talent when it came to its application.  Afterwards, Tessa nervously looked at herself in the mirror—frowned, and conceded that it would have to do, because she had far more pressing matters to worry about; like making a fool out of herself. 

Picking up the phone, she sat on the edge of her bed debating whether to call Rene for a little moral support.  But it was still early, and her oldest daughter would be sound asleep.  As it turned out, however, she didn’t have to risk waking her—with the phone still in hand, it rang, startling her so badly that she dropped it on the floor.  Tessa glanced at the caller ID as she reached down to retrieve it.  It was Gregory. 

“Hello,” she answered, not sure why she was whispering.  It was not as if she was doing something wrong by talking to him, nor did she have to worry about waking Seth.

“Good morning, Teacher.”

Tessa fell back across the bed and released a long apprehensive sigh she had been holding in all morning.  “I don’t think I can do this, Greg.”

“Don’t be silly.  The students are going to love you.”  When Tessa didn’t answer him right away, he continued, “Look, I was hoping we could meet for lunch at around one o’clock.”

“Sure, if I’ve not been tarred and feathered by then.”

“Even if you have, I still want to see you.”

Tessa giggled as she raised herself back to a sitting position.

“Were you this nervous on your first day?”

“I threw up twice, I think.”

“That makes me feel a little better, then.”

“If it helps, think about our date yesterday when you feel yourself getting nervous.”

“How is that suppose to help?”

“It probably won’t, but I like the idea of you thinking about me all day.”

“I think about you every day,” she admitted softly, wondering if she should have, considering the kiss they shared the day before.

Who was she kidding?  It was more than a kiss, they had made out like a pair of sexually charged teenagers, with their hands freely exploring one another’s bodies through their clothing.  Only when he had grabbed her wrist and encouraged it downward, did Tessa put an end to the petting.  Not because she didn’t want to touch him, but because she did, and in the worst way.  But as her fingers worked their way passed his ridiculously firm abs, an alarm went off in her head that brought her back to her senses.  If she allowed things to go any further, there would have been no denying her long suffering physical needs.  And she simply wasn’t ready yet.  They weren’t ready.  Tessa needed to be certain it wasn’t going to be just another one night stand for him and it was obvious just from the ease in which he could seduce her, that he was well-versed in the subject.

“You can tell me what you think about when I see you this afternoon,” he said huskily.

“Another time…maybe.”

Gregory conceded in laughter, though it didn’t quite ring genuine.  “Okay, you win.  I better let you go.  But I will see at lunch, right?”

“I’ll be there—quaking in humiliation at the corner table I’m sure, but I’ll be there.”

“They’re going to be putty in your hands, you’ll see,” Gregory told her, making one last attempt to reassure her before their conversation ended.  Leaving Tessa to admit that hearing from him had helped alleviate much of her anxiety, which had been replaced with a slight flutter caused from the memory of the night before.

“So, today is the big day,” Seth announced unnecessarily as he entered the kitchen while Tessa was pulling the muffins out of the oven.

When he witnessed the pained expression on her face, he chuckled and came over to pat her on the head as consolation.  A lot had changed between them since Martha’s Vineyard.  Their relationship had morphed from a strained professional one into something that felt more as if they were family than mere friends.  Which Tessa didn’t mind in the least, because the Collins’ Estate had become a place she referred to as home of late, not merely a place of employment.  Even Seth appeared more at ease in the house he grew up in, choosing to return to Amherst almost on a daily basis when he wasn’t forced to go out of town for work.

Over the past month, the two of them began sharing their evenings together, having dinner, watching TV, playing cards, or taking late evening walks with the dogs.  On the weekends, when neither of them had other commitments, Seth drug her along on trips to Martha’s Vineyard to see his grandmother. 
And in turn for putting up with the old woman’s crotchetiness, Tessa forced him to stop at every flea market and farmers’ market along the way.  As a result, she was building up an impressive collection of antique quilts, and he had acquired quite a liking to fried green tomatoes.

It had even gotten to the point where she would catch him having long conversations with her children whenever they called and he happened to pick up the phone.  Family was exactly what they had become, and Tessa treasured the peace it brought both of them.

“Yes, it is.  I was trying not to think about it, so thanks for bringing it up,” she grumbled.

“That’s what I’m here for.”

Smacking his hand as he reached over her shoulder to grab a muffin out of the hot pan, Tessa giggled.  “No, you’re here for the food.  Now stop it before you burn yourself.”

“You’re awfully belligerent for a hobbit.”

“Though I may be small, I am fierce, especially when I’m busy trying to get us both out the door.  Now go sit down and I’ll get your coffee.”

Laughing at her moodiness, Seth poured his own cup of coffee and leaned against the counter, seemingly content on watching her as she bustled around the kitchen preparing his lunch that consisted of leftover beans and rice and blackened chicken; blackened only because she lacked any skills when it came to grilling over open flames.  In fact, she was lucky the fire department hadn’t been called out by a concerned neighbor who happened to pass and see the smoke billowing up from behind the gates of the estate. 

“Are you sure you want this?  We still have some shepherd’s pie.”

“I’m sure.  Everyone in the office wagers to see who can come closest to guessing what I brought for lunch.”

“That’s just mean,” Tessa exclaimed, throwing an oven mitt at his head.

Seth caught it easily and tossed it on the counter.  Laughing at her momentarily, he suddenly became very quiet, causing Tessa to turn around and study him with concern.

“Is everything okay, Seth?  I mean, with your grandmother?”  As hard as it was to admit, considering the amount of insults she usually had to endure on their visits to her, Tessa was growing very fond of Mems, and had a suspicion that Mems felt the same.

“Huh,” he answered at first, as if he had been too preoccupied with his thoughts to hear what she had asked.  “Oh, yeah…nothing has changed.”

“Then is something else on your mind?  Something you want to talk to me about?”

With his expression growing more serious, he nodded.  “Unfortunately there is.”

“You can tell me anything, you know that.”

“It’s not so much something I need to tell you, as it is something I need to show you.”

“Of course.”

Following his lead, the two of them headed outside toward the carriage house.  Tessa watched him curiously as he punched in the code that opened one of the bay doors.  When he motioned for her to step inside with him, she obeyed willingly, though with some apprehension.

“I got this for you, yesterday” he announced sounding almost contrite as he rested his hand on the top of a brand new luxury crossover.

“What
?” Tessa asked in irritation.  The last thing she wanted was to be even more indebted to him than she was already, her pride already wounded beyond repair from the scholarship offered to her son.

“I don’t want you driving back and forth to Amherst everyday in that death trap of yours.  You need something dependable.”

“I heard what you said,” she told him with a wave of mixed emotions.  “But my car is perfectly fine.  It may not look so hot, but it runs well and has never given me a bit of trouble.”

“Is that why it takes you ten minutes just to get it started?”  He was disappointed in her less than enthusiastic response, and it could be heard in his tone of voice.

“I wish you would stop doing these things behind my back, Seth.  I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself and my children.”

“I’m not saying you’re not.  I just wanted you to have a car to drive that’s not going to leave you stranded somewhere in the middle of the night.  I worry about you every time you pull out of this driveway, especially when you don’t get home until two or three in the morning.”

“What is this?  You consider yourself my father now?”

“I don’t have a razor strap to beat you with, so no, I don’t. 
Although, I would like to on occasion when you’re being unreasonable.”