What Remains (28 page)

  It was Gregory who had in fact encouraged her to take the inheritance so that she could take the time she needed to figure things out; it was also Gregory who had nagged her in the fall to send her manuscript
, King Coal
, to a large publishing house in New York, where it was accepted almost immediately, even though she had no agent representation, which was nothing short of a miracle.

How glad she was that she had taken his advice on both counts.  Although she had a long way to go, her farmstead and her vocation kept her busy, and were helping her cope with the loss of the only man she had ever loved, and who had taught her how to love herself.  And even though she still struggled with the loneliness and the void his passing had created in her life, Tessa knew because of this wonderful gift he had given her, that she would survive, and maybe even one day
be happy again.

The ruckus outside the kitchen window brought Tessa back from her reverie.  She smiled to herself and shook her head.  One of these days, that rooster was going to get a hold of
the boisterous dogs and they were going to regret tormenting the poor thing as they had.  It would probably be a wise thing to go out and break up the melee, before they were spurred, but they were just now beginning to behave more like themselves again, for they mourned the loss of Seth every bit as much as she did.  So she would let them have their fun for now.  There would be plenty of time in the future to actually make them mind.

As she turned back to her canning, the squawking of the red cock grew louder and more insistent.  She would have to handle it before one of them got hurt, or she lost her rooster.  Of course as soon as she stepped out onto the porch, Rex and Hank came bounding up to her as if everything was just a huge misunderstanding.  Tessa scolded them half-heartedly, but couldn’t help but to scratch behind their ears to let them know she wasn’t too terribly upset with
them.  Besides, she needed to go out into the garden anyway and clear away some of the debris that had collected over the years.  That would give her mason jars time to seal in the hot water.

Grabbing her mother’s old straw hat she had found hanging in the tool shed, Tessa placed it on her head and pulled on her work gloves and slipped the muck boots over the legs of her bibbed overalls, preparing for the dirty work ahead of her.  But with the sunshine, and the chill in the air, she welcomed the distraction of menial labor.  If she was lucky, she would be able to fall into bed tonight and finally fall to sleep with not much effort.

The willow fence needed mending, she thought as she approached it, but there was still so much that had to be done to the house that it would have to be one of the last things on her list, a list that went on for pages already.

The hinges on the gate protested loudly as she opened it and stepped inside the garden.  Even in its neglected state, Tessa felt as if she turned quickly enough, she would be able to catch a glimpse of her mother standing there with her hoe in hand, bringing life to a piece of ground that should have never been able to sustain anything more than weeds and greenbriers.  But through love and persistence, it had yielded enough crops to feed a family of eight throughout the winter months.  Unfortunately, she was not her mother Tess mused, and would be lucky to get a single tomato out of it this growing season.  

As she looked over the years of dead growth that would need to be tilled up and hauled away, the sound of the gate opening let her know that the dogs had forced their way in.  Not bothering to turn and fuss at them when there was nothing they could possibly hurt at this point, Tessa kept her eyes in front of her until she seen something beneath the weeds, glistening in the sunlight.  Bending over to examine it, she soon realized it was one of the old flour tins that her mother used to store her corn seed in in the fall.   Digging it up carefully, she pulled it out of the soil where it had been half buried and dusted it off lovingly.  She remembered that tin so well, it was her favorite one, with Gibson girls painted on the sides. 

Standing and pulling it to her chest, Tessa pressed her cheek against its coolness, for the simple fact that her mother’s hands had once held it.  How she loved her mother’s hands; strong enough to clear acres of rock, yet gentle enough to wipe the tears away from the faces of her babies as she sang them
to sleep.  What Tessa wouldn’t give to be held by those hands again, to be comforted in her arms, and to rest her weary head against the softness of her bosom where the troubles of a little girl always seemed to melt away.

“What am I
gonna do without him, Momma?” she posed the question out loud to a mother who had left so long ago, but whose presence was felt all around her.

“That’s a question you won’t need to ask for a very long time…”

Stunned by the sudden appearance of a voice behind her, and by the recognition of who it belonged to, Tessa swung around to face it, assuming it was nothing more than a waking dream, hallucinations of a grieving mind, like she had heard the night of his fatal car crash.

But it wasn’t a dream, and she had not imagine it; Seth Richards lingered by the gate smiling at her, as solid as the mountain that stood behind him in the distance. Standing there looking out of place in the garden in his expensive black shirt and trousers, with his dark hair now peppered with gray at the temples, he was the most beautiful man she had ever seen.

“My God…Seth!”  Even though she was sure she had shouted it, Tessa’s words came out barely above a whisper.  The tin dropped to the ground in front of her as her hands flew to her face, shaking uncontrollably.  “Oh, my God…Thank you…Thank you, God…” Tessa repeatedly sobbed over and over again as she sank to the ground, her legs unable bear the weight of her emotions.

“I’m sorry
to surprise you like this,” he told her in a shaky voice, unable to keep his own composure.  “I didn’t want to do it over the phone.”

“I don’t care…” she cried, flinging her arms about his neck as he drew near
and knelt down in front of her.  “You’re alive…you’re here…that’s all that matters.”

Seth
drew Tessa’s body to him tightly as he pressed his face against her into the nape of her neck.  They both wept openly, overcome by their joy.

“I can’t spend one more minute of this life without you next to me
, Tess.  I can’t.  I don’t know what has happened since I left you.  Or how you feel about me, but please don’t send me away…I’m nothing without you, I have nothing…I miss my wife…I miss our family…I can’t breathe without you.”

“I know, Seth, I know,” she
cried.

“I love you…I’ve always loved you…from the moment we met.”

“I love you, too.  I’m sorry it took me so long to admit it.  But I was so scared.  You were an answer to a prayer I never dared to say out loud.  I was afraid it would be asking too much.  I didn’t deserve to be that happy, not with so much suffering in the world.” 

Laughing through
his own tears, Seth kissed her hair and looked at her with so much love and adoration that it took her breath away.

“Thank you…” he
whispered softly, as Tessa wiped away the tears from his face.  “Thank you for finding me…for saving me.”

“We saved each other
, Seth.”

When the dogs finally broke through the gate in order to reach their master, they wrestled him from Tessa’s embrace and thoroughly soaked him with their slobbery affection. Laughing, Tessa watched their antics for several minutes, enjoying this rare moment of complete bliss before raising her eyes to the blue sky above them and smiling to herself.

Thank you, Momma.