What to Expect the First Year (66 page)

A stimulating atmosphere.
Even a 2-month-old can benefit from a stimulating atmosphere, one where there is plenty of interaction—both verbal and physical—with caregivers, and where age-appropriate toys are available. As children become older and developmentally advanced, there should be plenty of appropriate toys to play with, as well as exposure to books, music, and the out-of-doors. The best programs include occasional “field trips” to a park, a supermarket, a fire station, a museum, or other places a baby might go with a stay-at-home parent.

Parent involvement.
Are parents invited to participate in the program in some way, and is there a parent board that makes policy? Will you be required to
participate—and if so, will the requirements fit in your schedule?

A compatible philosophy.
Are you comfortable with the daycare center's philosophy—educationally, religiously, ideologically? Check its mission statement (if it has one) to know for sure.

Good napping conditions.
Most babies, in daycare or at home, still take a lot of naps. There should be a quiet area for napping in individual cribs, and little ones should be able to nap according to their own schedules—not the school's.

Security.
The doors to the facility should be kept locked during operating hours, and there should be other security measures in place (a parent or visitor sign-in sheet, someone monitoring the door, requesting ID when necessary). The center should also have a system in place for pickups that protects children (only those on a list approved by you should be able to pick up your baby).

Strict health and sanitation rules.
In your own home, there's less reason to worry about your baby mouthing everything within reach—but in a daycare center full of other little ones, each with his or her own set of germs, there is. Daycare centers can become a focus for the spread of many intestinal and upper respiratory illnesses. To minimize germ spreading and safeguard the health of the children, a well-run daycare center will have a medical consultant and a written policy that includes:

• Caregivers must wash hands thoroughly after changing diapers. Hands should also be washed after helping children use the toilet, wiping runny noses or handling children with colds, and before feedings.

• Diapering and food preparation areas must be entirely separate, and each should be cleaned after every use.

• Feeding utensils should be washed in a dishwasher or be disposable (bottles should be labeled with the babies' names so they aren't mixed up).

• Bottles and food should be prepared under sanitary conditions.

• Diapers should be disposed of in a covered container, out of the reach of children.

• Toys should be rinsed often with a sanitizing solution, or a separate box of toys kept for each child.

• Stuffed animals and other toys that can be machine-washed, should be frequently.

• Teething rings, pacifiers, washcloths, towels, brushes, and combs should not be shared.

• Immunizations must be up-to-date for all babies, as well as for caregivers (including seasonal flu vaccines and boosters).

• Little ones who are moderately to severely ill, particularly with diarrhea, vomiting, fever, and certain types of rashes, should be kept at home (this isn't always necessary with colds, since those are contagious before that button nose even starts running) or in a special sick-child section of the facility. When a baby has a serious contagious illness, all parents of children in the center should be notified by the center.

• There should be a policy about giving children medication.

Also check with the local health department to be sure there are no outstanding complaints or violations against the center.

Strict safety rules.
Accidental injuries, mostly minor, are not uncommon in daycare facilities (after all, they can also happen at home). But the safer the facility, the safer your baby will be. Be sure the center follows the same safety and childproofing rules you follow at home (
click here
). Make sure, too, that the toys they use are age-appropriate (and
kept separate for different ages) and that the center stays up to date on and complies with recalls on toys, furniture, and baby gear.

Careful attention to nutrition.
All meals and snacks should be wholesome, safe, and appropriate for the ages of the children being served. Parental instructions regarding formula (or breast milk), foods, and feeding schedules should be followed. Bottles should never be propped.

Many parents feel more comfortable leaving a baby in a family situation in a private home with just a few other children than in a more impersonal daycare center, and for those who can't afford or arrange for a sitter in their own homes, home daycare is often the best choice.

There are many advantages to such care. Family daycare can often provide a warm, homelike environment at a lower cost than other forms of care—and depending on the provider, can be a nurturing option as well. Because there are fewer children than in a daycare center, there is less exposure to infection and more potential for stimulation and individualized care (though this isn't a given). Flexible scheduling—early drop-off or late pickup when that's necessary—is often possible.

The disadvantages vary from situation to situation. Since most (but not all) home daycare facilities are unlicensed, there may be no oversight of health and safety protocol (though conscientious providers will follow optimum protocol anyway). Some home providers may be untrained in childcare or safety and CPR, or lacking in professional experience. Backup care may be a considerable issue if the provider becomes ill (or her children do). And though the risk may be lower than in a larger daycare facility, there is always the possibility of germs spreading from child to child, especially if sanitation is lax. See the section on group daycare, starting
here
, for tips on what to look for and look out for when checking out home daycare.

A common option in other developed countries for many years, daycare facilities in or adjacent to a parent's place of work are much less common in the United States, though more family-friendly companies are recognizing the perks of offering such a service. It's an option many parents would choose if they had it.

The advantages are extremely attractive. Your child is near you in case of emergency, you can visit or even breastfeed during your lunch hour or coffee break, and since you commute with your child, you spend more time together. Corporate facilities are usually staffed by professionals and well equipped. Best of all, knowing your child is nearby and well cared for may allow you to give fuller attention to your work. The cost for such care, if any, is usually low.

There are some possible disadvantages. If your commute is a difficult one, it may be hard on your baby—and hard on you if there's a lot of struggling on and off of buses or subways with diaper bags and strollers, or if you travel by car and have a baby who always cries in the car seat. Sometimes seeing you during the day, if that's part of the program, makes each parting more difficult for your baby, especially during times of stress. And visiting, in some cases, may take your mind from your work long after you're back at your desk.

Corporate daycare, of course, should meet all the educational, health, and safety standards of any childcare facility. If the one set up by your employer doesn't, then speak to those responsible for the facility about what can be done to make the program better and safer. Rallying other parents around the cause may help, too.

Take Your Baby to Work Day—every day? It's far from a common—or logistically realistic—option, but for a few parents, it's in the mix of childcare choices. It works best if you have flexibility on the job, the cooperation and support of your coworkers, a space in your office for a portable crib and other baby paraphernalia, and a baby who's not a big crier. Ideally, you should also have a sitter on the spot, at least part of the time, or be able to multitask easily—otherwise, baby may actually end up getting less attention and stimulation than he or she might in another childcare situation. Keeping baby on the job usually works best, too, if the atmosphere in the workplace is relaxed—a high stress level won't be good for baby. When it does work, this kind of situation can be perfect for the breastfeeding mom or for any parent who wants to stay on the job and keep baby close by.

Someone's all smiles this month—and as a result, chances are you'll be, too. Your adorable little one is just entering what might be considered the golden age of babyhood—a period of several (maybe more) enchanted months when happiness reigns during the day, more sleep is happening at night, and independent mobility has yet to be achieved (which means your baby will continue to stay pretty much where you plop him or her down, limiting mischief and mayhem—enjoy this while it lasts). Sociable and interested, eager to strike up a cooing conversation, to watch the world go by, and to charm anyone within a 10-foot radius, babies this age are an undeniable delight to be around.

Baby Basics at a Glance: Fourth Month

Sleeping.
Is there a full night's sleep in your near future? Some (but certainly not all) babies are able to sleep longer stretches at night (think 6 to 8 hours at a time) by the fourth month. Total nighttime sleep will be approximately 9 to 10 hours. You should still expect two to three daytime naps (each about 1½ to 2 hours). Baby's total sleep per 24-hour day? Around 14 to 16 hours.

Eating.
Not much has changed since last month in terms of baby's diet (still liquids only).

• Breast milk. You'll be nursing around 6 to 8 times in a 24-hour period (you should find there are fewer middle-of-the-night feedings), and baby will be drinking somewhere between 24 and 36 ounces of breast milk a day … if you are keeping tabs.

• Formula. Your bottle drinker will likely be drinking around 5 to 7 ounces of formula 4 to 6 times per day for an average total of 24 to 32 ounces of formula a day.

Playing.
What's baby playing with now? Play gyms and play yard toys are still fan favorites, but baby will also love to play with sensory toys—toys that trill or squeak or tweet or rattle when pressed or shaken—this month, and for many months to come. Watch how baby loves the entertainment an activity mat provides! Baby's reaching for toys now, so look for playthings that he or she can grasp on to. Soft books with high-contrast patterns and colors are hot items now, too. Read to your little one and watch how captivated he or she is by the pictures as you turn the pages. Also still captivating: mirrors that capture your cutie's image for his or her own viewing pleasure. Finally, toys that play music (especially in reaction to your baby's movements, such as a kickable keyboard) will be music to your little one's ears now, so be sure to add them to your baby's playthings.