When Alice Met Danny (24 page)

He went on to tell Alice what she already knew from Megan. He told her about his bouts of black depression, his sudden and violent mood swings and the day his pregnant wife left him. ‘She did the right thing, Alice.’ His voice was bitterly sad. She would have taken his hand, but she held back. ‘I never hit her. God help me, I never sank that low. But I came perilously close. There were times when I didn’t recognise myself. I said stuff and did stuff that disgusted me as I did it, but I was powerless to stop.’ He looked up at her, his eyes red-rimmed and desperate. ‘Until it happens to you, you can’t imagine what it’s like. It’s like there’s somebody else inside your brain.’

He got up from the table and went to the fridge. He brought the jug of lemonade out again and refilled the glasses. She made no comment, giving him time to collect himself.

‘She went off with my unborn child, to protect the two of them from me. From me! I knew that I couldn’t control myself. Anything might have happened.’ He stared blindly ahead for a full minute, before repeating himself. ‘She did the right thing, I know she did. Anyway, she found a house, she had the baby and she stayed a safe distance away from me.’ He paused for a few minutes, his eyes staring down at his clasped hands on the table top. ‘For the first few months after she left, I went to pieces. I was drinking heavily by then. The alcohol was reacting with the medication and the results weren’t pretty. Finally, months later, with the help of a wonderful doctor and a few close friends, I began to get my life back.’ He looked up at Alice. ‘Megan was great, you know. She’s a terrific person. Cherish her as a friend. She’s one of the best.’

‘I’d already worked that out.’ Alice kept her voice low, like his.

‘It’s the anniversary this week.’ He shot a look across the table. ‘No, not my wedding anniversary, a much sadder one. It was on the nineteenth of June last year that she left. I haven’t seen her since. And I’ve never met my son.’

‘Never?’

‘No, I vowed I would stay out of their lives until I was confident I was me again. I couldn’t bear the thought of posing a threat to my own family. It’s been very hard, but I knew that was the only thing to do, for my own peace of mind.’ He ran his hand wearily across his forehead. ‘And peace of mind has been sadly lacking here for the last year.’

‘That was a very big step, and a brave one. It must have been hard for all of you.’

‘The worst has been not seeing my son.’

Alice took a deep breath. ‘Well, I have.’

The effect upon him was electric. His head snapped up. ‘But how, when?’

‘A couple of months ago I bought a house in Beauchamp. I told you that, you know, the house full of poo?’ He nodded, still trying to make sense of what she had said. ‘The address is 23 Lyndhurst Avenue.’ Now she saw comprehension begin to dawn on his face. ‘That’s right, I’m right next door to Vicky and little Danny.’

‘Right next door…’ His voice was still befuddled.

‘And she has been very kind and helpful to me. I’ve lost count of the cups of tea I’ve had with her.’ She looked across and caught his eye. ‘She never spoke about you. I only discovered the connection a couple of days ago.’ Conscious of her promise to Megan, she refrained from telling him how she had found out. He gave no sign of being interested in the source of her information. He looked up.

‘How is she? How’s the little boy, little Danny?’ He rubbed the back of his hand across his eyes and Alice saw it come away wet. ‘What’s he like? Is he a good baby? She writes to me every week, you know?’ Alice nodded that she knew that. ‘She tells me he’s fit and well. She even says he looks like me.’ His voice was more animated now.

Alice had some lovely photos of little Danny on her phone, but she felt it better to leave that to his mother to reveal. She looked across at Daniel. ‘He’s a gorgeous little boy. I’ve been completely won over by him. He smiles and chuckles and gurgles, but don’t get between him and his food. He’ll scream the place down! His mum says he takes after his dad.’

Daniel gave a heartfelt sigh and looked across at her.

‘Thank you, Alice, thank you so much.’ He sat up, pulled out a tissue and blew his nose. ‘Sorry about that. I really am a lot better than I was, you know. I still find my emotional responses hopelessly up and down. I can laugh out loud about a cow in calf and cry my eyes out about a baby boy.’

‘He’s
your
baby boy, Daniel. It’s the most natural thing in the world to love your son…and your wife.’

Deep down inside her, she knew he would never be for her, but she didn’t mind. He was a married man with a child. He and Vicky had been very happy once, and they would be happy again. She had no place in his emotions. Getting involved with him would not be the right thing to do. And she knew she wanted to do the right thing. And, anyway, she was going out for dinner with a very handsome man that evening. As if reading her thoughts, he looked across the table at her, straight into her eyes.

‘Alice, I think you’re wonderful.’ He read something in her eyes. ‘No, I mean it. You are clever, you’re funny, you are everything a man could possibly want in a woman. So how is it that you are here, listening to my sob story on a Sunday afternoon, instead of being out with some lucky man?’

She could feel that she was blushing bright red. She closed the lid on the compartment inside her with his name on it, and did her best to answer.

‘Because I’ve been out for dinner three times this week already, and I needed the game of tennis to help stop me getting too tubby.’ She saw him smile. ‘And, anyway, I’ve got a dinner date tonight with a handsome windsurfer.’ He nodded in approval.

‘He’s a lucky man.’ He looked as if he meant it.

She did her best to bring the conversation back to him, rather than her. ‘So, what are you going to do?’

‘What would
you
do?’ For a few seconds, his insecurity showed through.

‘A moment ago you said you were a lot better. What does that mean? I’ve seen you quite a few times now and I would say you are well again. What do the doctors say? What do
you
think?’

‘I saw the doctor at the hospital only last week. He has reduced my medication. We’re starting to phase it out. He says he’s very pleased with my progress, and he reckons I could be off all drugs by the autumn.’

‘So he says you’re mended.’

‘Well, pretty much mended. Still a bit of time needed for all the little cells and things in there to get back to normal, but not long to go now.’

‘And you, what do you think? Are you back to normal, or nearly back to normal?’

‘I suppose I do really believe I am, Alice. As you can see, I still have a bit of trouble with my emotions, but I’m heaps better than I was. I haven’t touched a drop of alcohol for half a year now. So, yes, I suppose the answer to that is yes, I think I am almost there.’

‘Enough to start thinking about getting your life back again?’ She watched him closely. ‘And your family? It can’t have been easy for Vicky, you know.’

‘I know, I know.’ For a moment his face looked bleak, but he rallied. ‘So what should I do?’ He looked so pathetic, she almost forgot her resolve and flung herself at him. But she didn’t.

‘You need to get her back.’

‘If she’ll have me.’

‘You’ll never know unless you ask.’

Alice could see the uncertainty in his eyes, the fear of rejection. ‘I said some terrible things to her. I behaved awfully.’

‘But that was then. That was a different Daniel. That was the broken Daniel. Now you’re back to being the original Daniel, the one she fell in love with.’

He sat in silence, trying to come to a conclusion. Finally he raised his head and surprised her. ‘Would you talk to her, Alice? Would you go to Vicky and see what she thinks? Would you?’ There was a pleading note in his voice.

She thought about it for a moment. Although Megan had told her that Vicky wanted Daniel to see his son, Alice had only really known either of them for a very short time. Would it not be better done by somebody else? An idea came to mind.

‘What about Megan? She knows you both. And she’s known you much longer than I have.’

He thought about it for a moment. ‘I know what you mean, but somehow that’s a bit too formal. I love Megan dearly, but she is the vicar. She holds an important position in the village. I don’t want to apply any pressure, moral or otherwise, on Vicky. Wouldn’t it be better if you spoke to her as a friend? Tell her you’ve been talking to me, see what she says. Would you do that, please?’

‘Of course I will. I’ll go and speak to her tomorrow. All right?’

Chapter 40

By the time Alice had showered and changed, it was six o’clock. She decided to tell Danny that she would only have a salad for dinner, and no dessert. She had avoided the bathroom scales this week, but had a good idea of what awaited her when she found the courage to do so.

She looked down at the dog. Feeling himself being observed, he glanced up and she gave him a smile. ‘So, my friend, would you like a walk?’ He was up in a flash. Just at that moment, her phone rang. It was Danny. She glanced at her watch. Not long now until dinner.

‘Hi Danny. How does it feel to be a conquering hero?’

‘Sore. I woke up this morning aching all over. Now I know what you felt like after your tennis last week.’

‘And the big gala dinner last night?’

‘It was awesome.’ She suppressed a giggle as she heard that word again. ‘I’ll tell you more over dinner, if you’re still up for it.’

‘Of course, but I’ve been eating so much this week, I only want a salad.’

‘That sounds like a good idea. I had the full three roasts and four veg for lunch today. How about we have a picnic? It can be as light as you like. The forecast is terrible for tomorrow and most of the week so it might be good to take advantage of the last sunny evening for a while.’

She glanced out of the window. The sun was still quite high in the sky, although it was approaching evening time. She had a sudden thought that the longest day would be later that week.

‘That’s a great idea. Anywhere special you’re thinking of going?’

‘How about up on the cliffs? The views should be fantastic this evening. There’s one place in particular where I often used to go for a walk when I was feeling a bit down. The view would cheer anybody up. And, besides, there shouldn’t be too many people who know me up there.’

‘Celebrity beginning to wear thin?’

‘I was never that keen on that side of things. Besides, I want it to be just you and me for a change. After the chaos and confusion on Friday night, I owe you that.’

‘Talking of owing people things, I owe you the chance to have a few drinks. I’ll drive if you trust me.’

‘I’ll trust you, if you trust me. There’s a place here selling all sorts of sandwiches and things. Will you trust me to buy something suitable?’

‘Whatever. Just not too much. I’m turning into a great fat lump.’ She felt a nudge on her knee. Danny the dog was still waiting for his walk. ‘Is it OK with you if I bring your namesake? He’s very well-behaved. He won’t disgrace himself.’

‘He’s very welcome. I’ll try not to disgrace myself either.’

They arranged for her to pick him up in half an hour, down on the sea front, so she dashed out for a quick sprint around the field with the dog first. When she returned, she picked up an old plaid blanket, and a jumper in case it turned cooler. She took a bottle of wine and a bottle of mineral water from the fridge and put them, along with glasses, plates and knives in a wicker basket. Last of all, she put in a couple of dog biscuits.

Danny was waiting, as arranged, down by the beach. Unsurprisingly, he was signing autographs. There was an expression of relief on his face when he spotted her. He gave a wave to the people, mainly girls, on the promenade and jumped in. He put a heavy shopping bag at his feet, then reached across and kissed her cheek.

‘Hi there. It’s good to see you again. Thanks for rescuing me from the swarm.’

‘And there were some rather attractive queen bees in that particular swarm, I couldn’t help noticing.’

He laughed. ‘It’s a funny sport. There’s little or no money in it, but it does have its compensations’ He turned towards her. ‘For those who want them. Turn right and head up the hill.’

Alice followed his directions up a steep hill until they came to a little car park. They parked there and walked out across the fields towards the cliffs. Luckily the wind had dropped considerably since Saturday and it was still very warm in the evening sun.

Danny pointed out the local landmarks. They could see for miles in both directions. ‘See, that’s Portland Bill way over to the west of us. It looks like an island, but it’s connected to the mainland by Chesil beach. And down the other way, you can see right across to the hills and tors of Dartmoor and the coast beyond Torbay.’

It was a truly stunning view. She caught his hand and murmured, ‘It’s magnificent.’ Then a thought struck her. ‘And awesome.’ She found herself smiling as he carried on.

‘There aren’t many places on the coast with a view like this.’ The warmth of his hand in hers felt good. ‘But you’ve got to be careful. The cliffs are being eroded all the time. Some poor lady was killed by a rock fall only a few weeks ago. So, we’ll stay away from the edge.’

He picked a spot in the shelter of some thick gorse bushes that did a magnificent job of protecting them from what was left of the wind. Releasing his hand, she laid out the blanket and set the basket alongside it.

‘Would you like to join me on my blanket?’

‘You are so kind.’ He knelt down and started to empty his shopping bag. There was a huge selection of sandwiches, pies, cakes and biscuits, enough for a whole family. As she began to protest, he sat down beside her and explained. ‘I wasn’t sure if you wanted meat or fish, so I got a bit of everything. You can eat what’s left over tomorrow, or we can always give it to our friend here.’ Danny the dog was very excited to be out on a picnic, and even more interested in the pile of food.

‘We certainly won’t. Mrs Tinker was very careful about what to give our Danny, so he can have a dog biscuit or two and that’s that. Don’t you go giving him ideas.’