When I Look to the Sky (22 page)

“
Do you know how hard it was for me not to tell you?” she asked. “I was about to bust a dozen times, so excited! Who knew Suntone would respond like they did! It’s that thing from Gandhi;
‘If you don’t ask, you don’t get.’
 I hoped for the sunscreen, but boy, I got way more than I dreamed, when I asked!” she laughed.

“
That PSA you saw today starts airing tomorrow during the 6:30 National evening newscast on the major networks! No one at home knows about it yet! When Suntone called me about the PSAs they asked about local TV stations and I immediately thought of LaDonna Martin. They contacted her and I snuck to the station to record that one after class a few weeks ago. She kept it a secret, acting like we’d just met when you were there! I sent a text to everyone to watch the news tomorrow, because I had a surprise!”

They reached the lake and Matthew pulled Carlee into his embrace.
 “I’ve waited all day to feel you like this,” he said pulling her close.

Her head on his chest, his heart beating s
oftly in her ear, she responded, “I’ve waited all day to be here…”

CHAPTER FIFTEEN
~ It’s All a Gift

The next day was a full schedule
with activities and workshops scheduled for the kids. The workshops were really what the camp was all about. Some talked about their own illness, some talked about a family member, but almost all of them talked. Carlee sat in on one of the sessions. Alison Mayheart was the counselor who was leading it. Alison started at the camp as a teenager dealing with her own family cancer issues. She went on to school and was now there as a counselor. Carlee listened and watched, her heart broke with each word, and she reflected on her years there.

~ ~ ~

Carlee was eight the first year she went. It was the ‘Grand Opening’ of the camp. It was something Beth dreamed of, and everyone thought it would be good for her to go, but she went because she wanted to. There were no buses the first year, and only a few kids went. Andy took her and stayed for the opening ceremonies. After the parents left, all the kids gathered to talk and share their experiences. She watched and listened. The first year it was mostly the counselors and the older kids. The younger ones were afraid to talk, so they just listened. 

She wanted to go back the following year because it helped.
 She liked being with kids who knew how she felt. That year she talked a little, but not about the cancer. She didn’t want to talk about sickness, so she talked about her mama. All she knew was she missed her, and that’s what she talked about. Other kids opened up too. They talked about those they lost or were afraid of losing because they were sick, and some of the kids talked about being sick and being scared.

Some of the same kids were able to come back each year and they
developed kinships. When she was eleven, she met Alison; she was fourteen, one of the older girls. She talked about her mom who’d just been diagnosed with breast cancer. Carlee listened as she talked about her fears. She didn’t want to, but Carlee could remember her mama being sick, she was so young when she died that Carlee didn’t really remember details.

The next year
she and Alison were together again, and she loved it. She loved Alison. They always paired younger kids with an older one in the cabins as ‘teen guardian.’ Alison’s mom had just passed away a few months before. Listening to Alison talk about her mom’s illness and death made Carlee cry. Later, in the cabin, Alison hugged her and told her it was OK because her mom wasn’t sick and didn’t hurt any more.

Alison
’s first year as a junior counselor was when Carlee was thirteen. In the cabin the first night, Carlee told her she wanted to talk about her mama, but it scared her. The next day, Alison encouraged one of the counselors to talk about the type of cancer Beth had. They explained it to the kids, and it made it a little easier for Carlee to understand. 

W
hen she was fourteen, Carlee helped as a teen guardian with some of the smaller kids. They looked up to her like she did Alison. That was the year Carlee knew she would be there every summer she could. She worked with the older counselors to learn how to talk to other kids about what she had experienced. They taught her how to share her personal story.

When she was fifteen
, she attended camp dealing with the loss of her dad. She worked closely with the grief counselors, and learned how to deal with her loss. She knew then, what path she wanted to take going forward in her career choices. She wanted to help other kids be able to express their fears and loss, and move on without those they loved. She wanted to help them be able to talk about the fear of their treatment, as well as the family illnesses.

~ ~ ~

Matthew was off doing his thing, capturing each moment he could. He popped in and out of the sessions. He quietly entered the room, not knowing Carlee was attending that session. She was sitting on the floor Indian-style, leaned over with her elbows on her knees. She was so engrossed in the talk that she didn’t even notice him. Her eyes, the expression on her face, it all told a story, and he got several pictures of her before she saw him, and smiled.

Th
is year was different for Matthew. The previous year he just took pictures; but it was deeper for him this time. He felt more of a connection to the entire camp experience. His pictures caught emotion, feeling, love, and grief this time. Sharing the photos of Carlee during the session, with her, so concentrated on what was going on, made her remember those feelings, and they made her cry.

The next day Andy was anxious. Carlee could hardly stand the suspense. The music store would be arriving later that day with the guitars, but Andy eluded, more than once to a surprise.

Carlee ran from session
to session, dropping snacks off to each group, making sure that everything was going OK. Then she would run back with a wagon filled with coolers of water and sodas. Matthew couldn’t keep up with her. She noticed that Andy was nowhere to be seen. She wondered, but didn’t have time to dwell on it.

Around two
that afternoon, the van from the music store arrived. She ran over to greet, and thank them. Just as Andy and Matthew walked up, the side door to the van opened, and Carlee screamed as Nathan Perry, Traveler’s keyboardist, and Andy’s good friend, popped thru the door.

“
Nathan! What are you doing here?” Carlee yelled, throwing her arms around him as he grabbed her. “Papa!” she yelled as she turned to Andy. “Thank you! The kids will be so happy!”

Andy introduced Matthew as Carlee
’s ‘intended’; and she loved the sound of it.

Dinner that night was hot dogs and burgers on the grills at the fire pits. Andy and Nathan set stools near the fire pits, so that all the kids could hear them. First they brought up any child who had any experience on the guitar at all. Most of those with any knowledge knew basic chords, so they played songs with those. Nathan and Andy got them going on a
Tom Petty
song, “Free Falling”. One of the boys told them he knew “Smoke on the Water”. 

Of course he does
,
Andy thought, and laughed.
Every young boy learns that piece, and Iron Man, no matter what age they are!

Nathan was having a ball working with those who came forward.
 By the time they finished, three of the older kids were able to play a rough version of “Eight Days a Week” by the
Beetles
. 

Later, Nathan and Andy played some old
Traveler classics. The kids who had been to camp more than once had heard them. Carlee brought Traveler music with her each year. They sang along and shared a great evening.

Nathan bunked with Carlee, Matthew and Andy, but there wasn’t much sleep that night. There was a lot of catching up. Carlee loved Nathan being there, loved the old Traveler stories they told. Being able to share that with Matthew was very special. If Nathan hugged Carlee once, he hugged her ten times, and with each squeeze she was happier that he was there. 

“
I have a surprise,” Matthew said, finally.

“
What is it?” Andy asked.

“
I had a call today from the National Institute of Photography,” he paused, “you are looking at the 2017 recipient of the Award for Deep Perspective Photography! I already called Mom, but I wanted it to just be us when I told you!” 

Carlee jumped up to hug him.
“I am so proud of you, so proud of that book!”

Andy rose and hugged him.
 “This is exciting news!”

“
They don’t have a ceremony or anything. They’ll send the award and… a check for five thousand dollars next week! There will be an announcement in National Photography magazine. It gets my name out there and re-promotes the book!”

The next day Andy and Nathan spent time picking and teaching the kids to play some songs. 

It was a busy week, and the
closer it got to the end, the more the emotions and sadness started to show. The kids developed relationships and found release of emotions that they previously were unable to share or express. It was always bittersweet.

At the closing ceremonies, parents who were willing to make the journey to the camp were able to attend.
 There was a crowd as Carlee once again took the stage. 

“Hello butterflies! Wow! What a week we’ve shared…” She choked back the lump she felt in her throat as she spoke, “This is my eleventh year here, and each year I think it couldn’t ever be better, but somehow it always is. During this week you’ve made new friends, and reconnected with old ones too. You’ve learned a lot, and shared even more. We’ve emerged from our cocoons!” 

“
I have something special to share with you! Many of you were here last year, and you know about the book my boyfriend, Matthew, did of pictures from camp.” She held up a copy. “We just found out that he won an award for his book! Can you give him a big round of applause?” The kids started to cheer. Matthew stood and took an animated bow.              

“
Papa asked for a few minutes, and I understand that there is a surprise coming for us.” She stepped aside as Andy and Nathan came to the stage. Some of the counselors were pulling stools to the front as the kids were grabbing guitars when Andy motioned for them to join them.

Andy and Nathan started them playing
, and then softly sang, so the kids could be heard, as they played the song by Green Day,
“Good Riddance”.

So make the best of this test, and don’t ask why

It
’s not a question, but a lesson learned in time

It
’s something unpredictable, but in the end it’s right.

I hope you had the time of your life.

Everyone clapped and cheered as they finished.
 Andy and Nathan rose from their stools directing the applause to the kids. As they left the stage, Andy and Nathan remained. 

Carlee went b
ack to the microphone and said, “Campers, we are butterflies now, ready to take flight!” She wiped her eyes and began, “I hope to see you back here next year! I’ll be here!”

Andy asked for another moment.
“I have another surprise for you,” he said to her. “Nathan…”

“
We have a special presentation,” Nathan began. Two of the younger girls walked up with a big piece of cardboard, the blank side facing the audience.

“
Campers, since you don’t have drums, you can pretend by stomping your feet, but come on, I need a big drum roll! Let’s make some noise!” Andy yelled, and the kids were happy to oblige, stomping loudly. It sounded like roaring thunder.

Matthew was running around taking pictures.
 Carlee had no idea what was happening as Dean Rollins, the President of the Cancer Foundation walked to the stage.

“
Hello butterflies!” he yelled. “I’m so happy to be here with you today! We are so proud of this camp, how it’s grown, and the experience you are able to share each year. And, we’re thrilled for opportunities to make this experience better and better, for more and more kids just like you.”

He motioned for Andy, Nathan, and then Carlee. Then he asked the two young girls to join him.

“Carlee,” he squeezed her shoulder, “your mama’s dream turned into way more than any of us could ever imagine. I knew Beth very well, and I know she’d be so pleased by all of this. Twelve years ago, when we began construction we planned two cabins, an infirmary, and a meeting hall. We’ve been blessed by donations to add four more cabins, and a pool. This year I am happy to tell you that we will begin construction on two more cabins, allowing about twenty more kids to come next year and…”

He motioned for quiet as everyone was yelling and clapping.
 “And,” he began again, “we are pleased to tell you that we will be expanding the meeting hall to add a music room, for more lessons like you were able to share here this year! Andy…”

“
How about another one of those drum rolls? Let’s get those feet going!” he yelled to the kids. And the thunderous noise began again. 

Nathan raised his hand to quiet them.
“Ladies,” he said, and the girls turned the cardboard around. It was a giant check for fifty-thousand dollars “My Traveler friends and I are donating this to help!”

In disbelief,
Carlee let out a gasp, and went to Nathan and Andy to hug them. “What an awesome gift,” she told them.