When I Look to the Sky (3 page)

Carlee sang along to the song she knew by heart. She knew it was her mama he was singing about. Roddy had moved into Andy’s seat when he left for the stage and held Carlee’s hand in his lap. As he did, he remembered not so long ago, waiting with Beth, holding her hand as they announced the winner for Andy’s last GRAMMY.

A break to clear the stage, and Andy returned to his seat a few minutes later. Another performance was taking place on another stage and as he sat down Carlee hugged him and whispered in his ear, “Papa, I love you. Thank you for bringing me here.”

“
My sweet, sweet girl, I couldn’t have come without you,” and as he said the words, he could remember every hug they had ever shared, and every time those sweet, chubby, little-girl fingers brought his face to hers for a good-night kiss, and he felt tears sting his eyes.

When he let her go
, they were announcing that it was time to read the nominations for Song of the Year. He took Carlee’s hand and held it in his lap. The trio of female pop singers, Wild Child, appeared on stage to recap the nominees. Finally, the lead singer, Tyra Mitner, held the envelope to her head like Johnny Carson did as ‘Carnac.’

“
I’m feelin’ it,” she shouted and then ripped the envelope open. “YES! Andy Stevens, “A Dream Away!” she yelled.

Andy rose from his seat, along with Roddy who hugged him and he leaned to kiss Carlee
’s cheek before he left for the stage.

He ascended the stairs to
roars of applause. He hugged the girls of Wild Child as Miss GRAMMY handed him the award. He took a minute as he looked out, remembering, as he did he saw Beth both times she attended with him and that familiar lump rose in his throat. He let the applause subside and leaned closer to the microphone to speak.

“
Thank you,” he said and paused, as once again, the applause was thunderous.

“
Thank you to the radio stations who play the music, and to the fans who listen. This would not be a reality without you. It’s important to me to thank my Bethy for giving me those words in her last moments. I’m happy to share this moment with all of you, but, I’m happier to share it with my beautiful daughter, Carlee. Thank you,” he said again.

He was gone a few minutes longer and Roddy explained that he was getting some press out
-of-the-way so that he could enjoy the rest of the evening.

Soon after the award ceremonies were over, Andy could see Carlee’s eyes inching closer to sleep. They were getting ready to leave and he picked her up. “Wake up ‘sleepy beauty’; we have a party to go to before we head back to the hotel.” She nodded and snuggled closer as Angel reached for her.

“
I got this, we’ll let her snooze a few minutes,” he smiled. “We can wake her when we get there.” Marco, Roddy, and Vince joined them in the limo, and they arrived at the Roosevelt Hotel for the TMG GRAMMY party half an hour later.

“
Carlee, we’re here,” he said, nuzzling her cheek. “Wake up.”

She stirred, on Andy
’s lap, her head still on his shoulder. She wiped her eyes and asked, “Where are we?”

“
The party, we’re gonna go meet some people and have some dinner. And later we’ll go and get you to bed. Come on, wake up, you
can’t
miss this,” he chuckled.

They stepped out of the limo, Carlee still in his arms, and the entourage headed into the party, flashes of light all around them. “Let’s do this,” Andy said.

Roddy, knowing his friend very well added,
“And get it over with!”

“
My thoughts exactly!” Andy laughed.

When they entered,
TV talk show host Larson Day greeted them. “Andy Stevens, I believe you have the prettiest date of the evening,” he said.

“
I think so too,” Andy laughed lightly. “You remember Roddy Beamer, and this is Vince Knight, Angel Mann, my friend Marco D’Mario, and my daughter Carlee.

“
Glad to see you here, I know you avoid these soirees,” Larson chuckle.

Like the plague.
“I try, but my date this evening will enjoy this,” Andy smiled, and put Carlee down as Angel led her to the ladies’ room. He looked up and saw Dave Marsh and Adaleigh enter.

Roddy saw the look on his face as Andy looked over to him.
“Not looking forward to that,” he mouthed and rolled his eyes.

“
Well, this is nice,” Adaleigh said touching Andy’s arm. “May we join you?”

“
We’re sitting with Dan Leonard from Sony, his wife, and Cleve Davids, I think our table is full,” Roddy replied, quickly and Andy stifled a chuckle.

“
Roddy, let’s see,” he understood what Roddy was doing, but he also didn’t want to seem rude. “Carlee’s tired, so we won’t be staying that long anyway.”

They made room at the table and Adaleigh quickly
moved to the seat to Andy’s left. Marco was already in the one to the right.

“
I’m sorry Ms. Pensant, that seat’s taken,” he said and nodded to Carlee as she and Angel returned.

“
She gets you all the time,” she pouted.

“
She’s my date and a gentleman doesn’t ignore his date. You have one, as well,” he said and she moved, dramatically, to the next seat over.

They dined on food prepared by world-renowned chef, Mario Rago. Carlee was having fun, observing all that was going on around her. She looked on in awe as Stan the DJ-Man, a well-known disc jockey at Hollywood parties, played music and people danced.

“
Papa,” she whispered, “is that Ricky Sams from Side Street? Oh, and the girl from American Idol!”

“
Shelly Clark,” Andy said as the music changed. “Come on, this is our song!”

He took Carlee
’s hand and led her to the floor as Van Morrison’s version of “Brown Eyed Girl” blared through the room. Carlee giggled as Andy spun her around the floor. Vince and Angel joined them.

When the song was over
, the room filled with the Black Eyed Peas, “Let’s Get it Started”, and Marco was there grabbing Carlee’s hand. Andy was free and Adaleigh saw her chance to move in.

“
A dance?” she asked.

“
Sure,” Andy replied, but made sure his dance moves kept him away from her, not wanting to get close. She grabbed his arm and pulled him closer, so he started to talk about her music.

“
What’s the style of music do you want to record?” he asked.

She used the lou
dness of the music to tug him just a little closer, “Can’t hear you,” she said.

“
Music,” he said, “what’s the style, the sound, you want to deliver?”

“
Let’s meet sometime tomorrow to talk about that,” she suggested.

“
Can’t do that; this is Carlee’s trip too. I’m not taking time away from her for business.”

“
What about pleasure?” she purred.

“
Nope, I’ll be getting my pleasure from the sweet little girl,” he said looking past Adaleigh watching Carlee. She loved Marco. He’d been working with Andy since the early days in Corpus Christie. He was a big Italian guy, always fun, and according to Carlee, ‘the best hugger.’ He was showing her a fun time, and Andy smiled watching them.

“
Well then, when will we meet to talk?” Adaleigh asked.

“
If you can’t give me something to ponder now, then it will be a couple weeks before I’m available.”

“
It’s a folksy-bohemian sound,” she replied with a huff.

“
Well, get that tape to Marco, and I’ll be in touch,” he said. The music ended and Carlee and Marco were approaching. “Enjoy the evening Ms. Pensant.”

“
That’s it?”

“
For this evening, yes, I’ll talk with you after I have the tape to have a listen.”

She stomped off and Marco laughed.
“She, uh…”

But Andy looked at Carlee and held up a finger.
“Not now.”

“
Papa, how much longer are we staying?” Carlee asked in a sleepy voice.

“
Until you tell me you’re ready to go.”

He looked at her tired eyes as she replied.
“I think I’m ready.” Andy looked at his watch. It was after eleven - after two, east coast time.

“
Friends,” Andy said, when they returned to the table, “Cinderelly here is ready to leave the ball.”

“
Cinderelly,” Carlee giggled as he lifted her off the floor.

“
We’ll be saying our good-nights now. Enjoy the rest of your evening.”

Back at the hotel, Angel got Carlee ready for bed. She knew she’d want Andy to tuck her in, so she sat on the sofa to wait. Carlee crawled on Andy’s lap and he hummed to her. He loved this time with her. A few minutes passed, and he noticed that she was asleep. “Thanks Angel,” he said as he rose from the chair with Carlee in his arms.

He placed her i
n the bed, and pulled the covers up and sat beside her. She stirred and he leaned to kiss her forehead. “Good night, Papa, love you,” she whispered.

“
Sleep sweet. I love you too.”

~ ~ ~

The next morning when he rose, Angel dropped the USA Newsday on the table in front of him as she handed him a cup of coffee. “Thank you,” he said. She pointed to the picture in the upper right corner.

“
GRAMMY Win and a New Muse” he read under a picture of him and Adaleigh.

“
Oh for shit-sake,” Andy commented. “One dance and a conversation… Please put this away before Carlee comes out.”

A moment later she padded across the carpet, still in pj
’s, her hair mussed from sleep, rubbing her eyes.

“
Good mornin’, love.” She kissed Andy’s cheek and climbed on the chair beside him. She was seven, but she wasn’t much bigger than a five-year old.
Petite, like her mama,
he thought and smiled. “Did you sleep well?”

Before she replied, Angel did.
“She must have. Twice in the night I found her sideways with her feet in my side,” she laughed.

Carlee smiled and replied,
“I think they made the bed the wrong way,” she giggled. “I don’t know why I get all sideways.”

“
Pancakes?”

Yes sir, and sausage, the long kind.
”

“
Links,” Andy smiled. “I’ll call room service.”

After breakfast, he made arrangements for tours around town and they shared a special dinner out on the town before their trip was over.

CHAPTER THREE
~ Adaleigh

Back home, they went back to what was
‘normal’ for them. Carlee lived with her dad, but was ‘shared’ with Kimmy, Nanny and Pops, and Andy. Everyone saw to it that she was kept busy. She was still involved in dance; Kimmy and Nanny got her involved in a girl’s group, ‘Saturday Friends’, but Kimmy observed that she stayed pretty much to herself. She seemed to take part and enjoy the events, but she wasn’t close to any of the other girls.

A loner
,
Kimmy thought, but she didn’t think Carlee was lonely. She loved Jenna and any opportunity to spend the night there if she couldn’t be with Andy when her dad was away. It seemed to Kimmy that she liked family time most.

Soon after they were home from the GRAMMYs, Marco stopped by Andy’s house. He relocated to Florida after the new studio was ready. He was single and wanted to continue working with Andy, and living nearby was easier than flying back and forth. When Andy invited him in, Marco handed him a tape. “The vixen,” he said.

“
And?”

“
It’s not my style, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t good. She sounds like she’s forcing herself though, just my opinion,” he added.

“
Worth exploring?”

“
If you want to subject yourself to the she-wolf,” he laughed.

“
Yeah, if I do this, I gotta figure out how to curb that,” Andy replied. “Let’s have a listen.”

“
I was on my way to the studio, let’s take it there. I know what you have here is good, but come have a listen there where I can do some adjusting while it’s playing so you can hear some variations.”

“
Let’s go. Wait, let me call Kimmy first, she’s picking Carlee up from school to bring her here. They drive by the studio on the way, so let me just tell her if my car’s still there to bring her in.”

In the studio, Marco keyed up what he thought was the best track on the tape. “I’m not the expert, but I’ve been with you enough to know what you look for.” He started the music and Andy leaned back in the chair to listen.

“
I agree,” Andy said after a few minutes, “not my style, but that’s not my job, is it? I gotta decide if I can make
her
style more appealing.”

“
Doubtful,” Marco said sarcastically and Andy punched his shoulder and laughed.

“
I kinda hear a Stevie Nicks vibe, Rhiannon’ish,” Andy said after he listened for a minute.”

“
She could pull it off if she wasn’t forcing it. You sure we gotta take this on, can’t help it, she just kinda gives me the heebie-jeebies.”

“
And what to do about that…? I really gotta think this through, but I think we need to do it.” At that moment, the door flew open and Carlee bounded in and into Andy’s arms, followed by Kimmy and Jenna. “Well, hey! How was school?”

“
Reading, writing, and arithmetic, just like always,” she said, rolling her eyes, sounding bored out of her mind, and Marco, Andy, Jenna, and Kimmy fell into giggles.

“
It’s not funny,” Carlee replied, seriously.

“
No, no it’s not,” Andy said playfully, rising to hug Jenna and Kimmy. “It was the way you said it that was funny,” and again they were laughing, only this time, Carlee joined them.

“
What’s for dinner?” she asked.

Andy looked at his watch,
“Its 4:15.”

“
I’m starving!” she replied.

“
Angel put cheese sticks and apple slices in the fridge,” he said and Carlee and Jenna darted to the little kitchen.

Marco had turned the music down but Kimmy was listening.
“Who is that?”

“
The she-wolf,” Marco laughed.

“
Stop,” Andy chuckled. “It’s Adaleigh Pensant, new artist, working on getting her second album together. Her promoter asked if I’d be interested in producing it.”

“
Oh,” Kimmy said, “her.”

“
Her who?” Andy looked at her.

“
The muse from the paper.”

“
She-wolf,” Marco said again.

“
All I saw was the picture in the paper and she had claws and fangs,” Kimmy said and Marco laughed.

“
Yeah, whatever,” Andy replied back and waved his hand at them, dismissing the conversation.

“
I gotta go, Lane thinks I’m
actually
gonna cook tonight. I gotta get home and find whatever I have in the freezer that Suzie Ray, the bitch on Kinda-Home-Made can help me make look like I spent all day on it.”

Marco and Andy roared at her sarcasm.

“Yeah, well what are you having?” she shot back at Andy.

“
Filets, twice baked potatoes and grilled asparagus,” he replied.

“
Yuck, aspergrass?” Carlee said. “That stuff is…”

“
Slimy,” Jenna finished her sentence.

“
Oh alright, burgers, fries and corn on the cob,” he said with a big grin.

“
Yay!’ Carlee shouted.

After Kimmy and Jenna left, Carlee sat at the soundboard to do her homework. She pulled a book from her bag and put it on the console; resting her elbows there, she was deep into the pages. Andy and Marco had the headsets on listening, making notes, adjusting the sound they could and adding more notes.

Finally, Andy looked at his watch.
“It’s six, I need to get her home,” he said to Marco.

“
You could just call for a pizza and we could stay,” Carlee grinned. “It’s Friday. No school tomorrow.”

“
You are a sly one,” Marco laughed.

“
I’m reading. We can stay, I’ll call Angel, she’s not supposed to come ‘til eight; I’ll tell her to wait ‘til nine.”

“
Hey,” Andy said after she hung up with Angel, “What are you reading, anyway?”

“
I and You and Don’t Forget Who
,” she said and added, “That silly Miss Walsh thinks she can sneak lessons in and make us learn something by giving us fun stuff to read, it’s ridiculous!”

Andy shook his head and stifled a laugh. Sometimes the stuff Carlee blurted out cracked him up. He loved her wit.

Marco scooted closer. “Can I see?” She pushed the book his way and he flipped to the back cover. “Hmm, it’s about English, pronouns,” he added.

“
This is a fun book, but I like it better when she sings them.”

“
Sings?” Andy asked when he returned from calling for pizza delivery.

“
Subject pronouns, ‘I am I, and you are you - he is he, and she is she - they are they, and we are we’,” she sang. “To show us, she points to you, or a group, or her.”

“
Well, that’s clever,” Marco said.

Carlee listened to the music and voice in the back-ground. Marco had turned the volume down, not off.
“Who is she,” Carlee asked.

“
She
is Adaleigh; remember her from the GRAMMYs?” Andy asked.

“
Yeah,” she said, followed by, “how long ‘til pizza?” And Andy knew she’d just dismissed that subject, and grinned.

~ ~ ~

Later, when she was ready for bed, Andy went to tuck her in. Sitting on the side of the bed beside where she lay, he smoothed the curls away from her face to kiss her cheek. “I love you, sweet girl. I’m going for a ride in the morning, want to go?”

She knew where he was going.
“Yes sir,” she replied. She lay quietly for a moment, turned toward him and said. “Papa, can I tell you somethin’?”

“
Carlee Elizabeth, you can always tell me anything. Remember that, anything. What is it, sweetheart?”

“
I don’t like her.”

“
Adaleigh?”

“
Yes sir, I know we’re supposed to like everyone, but I just didn’t feel good when she was there that night,” she said honestly.

“
Because?”

“
Well, because she called me a ‘step.’ I didn’t like that because it made my heart hurt…”

“
And?”

“
It felt like she wished I wasn’t there so she could be your date.”

Wise beyond her year
s Andy thought. “Well, we don’t have to like her, but I’m probably going to work on her album with her, so we will be nice.”

“
OK,” she replied, “but I still won’t like her.”

The next morning Angel was gone when Carlee woke. She made her way to the kitchen and found Andy at the stove.

“
I smell sausage!”

Andy turned and replied,
“Pancakes too! Good morning, beautiful.” She stood on tip-toes to look at the griddle and smiled at the Mickey Mouse shape of the pancakes.

After breakfast, they cleaned up and got in the car, “Slip your floppy hat on,” Andy told her as he put the convertible top down.

He made
a stop on the way that she knew he would, and finally drove back the road at the Memorial Park and put the car in park. “Look,” he said and pointed.

“
They’re here,” she said softly, noticing the family of sandhill cranes that were grazing close by. “They’re always here. I guess they visit Mama too.”

Andy got out, walked around to her door and helped her out, then put her seat forward. A basket of
calla lilies waited there behind the seat. He grabbed them, and took Carlee’s hand. Quietly they walked to her gravesite and stopped. The headstone had a pedestal just big enough for Carleeto sit on and she sat down watching the birds, looking out at the river ahead in the distance. Andy stood quiet a moment and finally, he said, “Ready?
”

She rose and took his hand. It was something she
’d done the very first time they went there together. “You are my sunshine, my only sunshine…” they sang.

~ ~ ~

Three weeks later, Adaleigh arrived. She drove straight to the studio and arrived just before Marco did. “Don’t you just have a spare room at your place,” she asked Andy.

“
Nope, Carlee lives with me part-time, so no. I won’t do anything to jeopardize that. The hotel I told you about is on the beach, just a few blocks from the here.”

“
That’s a shame, Andy Stevens” she said in a seductive way that he didn’t like. “I was so looking forward to spending time with you…”

B
ut before she said anything more, he added, “I told you before I agreed to this my studio hours are ten to six. I won’t give up my time with Carlee, for any reason. We have five weeks of hard work, with Marco, before her school is out. Her dad is taking her to Atlanta for a few days, and then I will have her most of the summer.”

Adaleigh put a pout on her face,
“You sound so mean.”

“
No, I sound like someone who has a job to do, and I’m going to tell you now, I am not interested in anything more than work with you.” He laid it all out. He made no bones about what he meant, left nothing to question.

We
’ll see,
she thought.

Things were going smoothly until two weeks later when Marco had a family emergency in Houston, and unexpectedly John wanted to change weekends. Andy found himself alone.

Friday morning
, he went to the studio to find Adaleigh waiting in her car. “Where’s Marco?” she asked.

He dreaded answering the question, but replied,
“Family emergency.”

“
Oh,” she replied.

“
Let’s get busy.”

“
Yes, let’s,” she replied and Andy rolled his eyes.

Later, he was at the soundboard listening to a playback and she came up behind him. “Well?”

“
Sounds good.”

“
No, I meant, where’s Carlee?” she said.

He looked at his watch, 6:10, so she knew Carlee wasn
’t coming.

“
She’s with her dad.”

“
That’s nice,” she replied and ran a lazy finger across his back. “So you’re free for dinner.”

“
No, I’m tired; I’m going home. I know Marco scheduled time with you for tomorrow so I’ll see you here at eleven.”

“
Oh, come on, The Bistro is good…”

“
I know. I go there often.”