When No Doesn't Cut It (30 page)

“Okay, we can do that, if you want to,” he said slowly.  “But are you sure about this Damien?”

Damien was sure, he was just nervous.  You tell yourself for long enough, that you’re never going to do something, if you do eventually get around to doing it, and wanting to, then the prospect is plain terrifying.  Plus which, Damien had been thinking about all of the reasons why he had been denying his love for Scott for so long, and why he hadn’t wanted to try this before, and in the cold light of day, after more than a century of time, his reasons seemed plain stupid.

“Yes, I’m absolutely sure,” he said.  “But I want to talk to you first.  I want to tell you about Julius.”

“Julius?”  Scott’s face scrunched in confusion and then his face cleared.  “Your first love,” he said quietly.  Damien nodded, feeling really shy. 

Scott seemed to sense that because he looked positively decisive.  “Okay then love, let’s get naked, and into bed.  The bed is always my favorite place for serious confessions.”

“You’re into naked confessions?” Damien couldn’t help but ask, as he and Scott moved towards the bed, dropping clothes as they went.  Expensive suits weren’t any consideration when there was naked mates and a bed being offered.

“Not really.” Scott laughed.  “But I’m into talking to you and you being naked is a bonus.”  His smile stayed on his face as he flipped himself on the bed, affording Damien a good look at his tight ass, before he turned and got himself under the covers.  Once he got himself settled, he pulled back the sheet and blanket and patted the spot beside him.

“Come on lover.  Come and get comfy with me.”

Shucking off his pants, Damien climbed in beside his mate, Scott pulling the blankets over them
, even though the room was quite warm. The suites at the St. Regis were smart without being fussy.  Comfortable without being opulent, and really, really nice.  Damien loved the bed in particular as it was plenty big enough for him to lay down on, and firm enough for the exercise he and Scott had shared the night before.  No squeaks, Damien remembered with a grin.

Scott moved closer to Damien and Damien had his arm around his mate before he registered he’d done it.  Scott seemed pleased with the gesture and laid his head on Damien’s chest, softly stroking Damien’s solid, hair free muscles.  There was nothing wanton in Scott’s caress.  Just the reassurance
that the man loved him, and was there for him.  For the first time all day, Damien felt himself relax.

“Julius was a force of nature,” Damien began.  Scott’s fingers never wavered but kept up their steady caress.  Damien knew it would be hard for Scott to hear how he had loved another, but Damien also knew this was the last secret he kept.  He had to share it with Scott, his mate; otherwise he would never be free of it.

“He was a beta wolf in the pack, back when I was eighteen.  He was twenty eight when I met him and it was lust at first sight for me.  I wasn’t as big as I am now - tall, but I hadn’t developed the muscles I have now.”  Damien felt Scott chuckle quietly, but the man’s fingers kept up their soothing cadence on his skin.

“We hooked up, and because I was in line for Alpha, and he was a beta wolf, he let me fuck him.  I thought he was funny, and smart
, and he had a real way with the ladies.  I knew then that I was gay - he was bi, I thought. But I’ve never fancied a woman in my life. I don’t think he ever fucked around on me with other men, but he definitely had his fair share of the ladies.  When I told him that his playing around upset me, he reminded me of how illegal sodomy was at the time and that he was just keeping up his cover of being a straight man.  I couldn’t fault his logic, even if I didn’t agree with it.  I stayed faithful to him though.  I didn’t want anyone else.”

“Was he your mate?”  Scott asked quietly.  Given how old Damien was
, it was possible that the man could have two mates in his lifetime - well maybe. Damien understood the reason behind Scott’s question.  For Damien to be young and faithful indicated that Julius meant a lot to him.  Young wolf hormones were rampant and wolves weren’t shy about who they fucked.

Damien shook his head.  “No, not my true mate.  Not like you,” he said.  “
I just loved him with everything that I was. He was the first you know.  The first guy I’d ever fucked.  The first person in my life that I had ever had strong feelings for. I never told him, because I didn’t want him to think I was being silly, but after we’d been seeing each other for about two years, and I was getting closer to being Alpha, I decided I wanted to take him as my mate.  If I was Alpha, the pack couldn’t say anything about it, despite the laws at the time, and I loved him so much I would have given up the pack to be with him if I had to.”

“He must have been an amazing guy,” Scott said softly.

“You’d think so, wouldn’t you?” Damien laughed.  “Turns out he was actually a two-timing, lying piece of shit.  The night I told him I wanted him to be my mate he told me that he would, if I let him fuck me.  He wanted us to be equals.”  Damien felt Scott wince beside him, because of course, that is what he had wanted from Damien, as a condition of their mating.  Damien patted Scott’s hand to show he understood and kept talking.

“He wanted me on my hands and knees on the ground in the forest.  I didn’t think anything of it at the time.  I thought he was just too eager to be with me to find us a bed.
He’d pushed my head and shoulders down onto the ground and was behind me, prepping me.  I should be grateful he tried to do that at least, although lube wasn’t invented in those days and he didn’t use a lot of spit. I remember his fingers tearing into me but I was determined not to show I was in any pain.  I was stronger than that.”

Damien wound his fingers into Scott’s and held on tight.  Scott didn’t say a word.  His mate just waited, breathing softly, his head still nestled on Damien’s chest.  Damien was glad of that because he honestly didn’t think he could look at his mate, as he recalled the humiliation that followed.

“He started heckling me as he fucked me with his fingers, calling me a slut, and how he was going to take a piece of the Alpha.  I cried out then, and told him that I was doing this because I loved him.  I loved him and that’s why I wanted him as a mate.  I wanted us to have a life together…”  Damien broke off as he struggled with his memories.

Scott, he just waited.  Waited until Damien could drag himself out of the horror of the humiliation, and into the present moment.  A moment in a fancy hotel suite, with his mate in his arms.  Damien ducked his head and inhaled Scott’s heady scent.
It gave him the strength to continue.

“Julius
laughed
at me.  Told me I was a kid and didn’t know what love was.  I was twenty at the time and figured I’d been through enough to know my feelings.  I asked him why he wanted to claim me then, when he didn’t care for me, and he told me it was because of the power.  He wanted to be Alpha Mate, even if it meant fucking a faggot like me.  And all the while his fucking fingers were ripping my insides and it hurt so much.”

“What happened to him?”

“Nothing, well nothing much from my hands,” Damien said.  “I fought him off before he could get his cock near me, and smashed his face in.  I beat him up pretty bad, actually, but he healed quickly.  He found his mate, a female, in another pack when he was out hunting, and moved away about three years afterwards. I heard he and his mate got killed in some gold field dispute in California, years later.  As for me, I hardened my heart, vowed never to love anyone again, started my club, became Alpha, and lived my life in some kind of stasis, until I met you.”  Damien smiled down at Scott as he said the last part.

“Fuck, Damien, you should’ve killed him.
  I know I would’ve.” Scott said, angry for his mate.  “No one has the right to humiliate another like that.  And the idiot obviously didn’t have the first idea about how to have anal sex, otherwise you wouldn’t have been hurt.  No wonder you’ve never let anyone else get close.”

“Yeah well, us wolf shifters heal quickly and he didn’t do any permanent damage.  I think it was my pride that was hurt more than anything.  Looking back at it now, I can’t even think what I saw in the guy.  He was always arrogant.  Always screwing around.  He barely gave me the time of day, unless I begged him to spend time with me.  I must have looked like a right idiot at the time.”

“No you weren’t,” Scott said fiercely.  “He was the stupid idiot who didn’t realize what an amazing person you were then, or how great an Alpha you would become.” 

Damien laughed more at the tone of Scott’s words than the actual content.  He felt better for having told Scott about Julius, because he knew now Scott could understand why he had resisted mating him, and why he’d been so slow to confess his love.  The two men sat quietly for a while, just enjoying the closeness - something Damien craved almost more than sex.  He’d never allowed himself to enjoy physical affection.  Even Julius had never hugged him, or simply held him for the sake of it.  Scott loved it, and
his affectionate ways had converted Damien in about three days after Scott had moved to Texas.

“You know, Damien, I’m really pleased that you shared your story with me, even though I know it wasn’t easy to talk about.  And thinking about it, I don’t have to claim you sexually.  After what you’ve said, I feel fucking mean for suggesting it in the first place. I won’t put you through that.”  Scott’s voice was quiet but determined.

For a moment Damien was tempted to accept his mate’s words.  He could still remember vividly the pain of Julius penetrating him with his rough fingers, and it had fucking hurt.  But Scott was nothing like Julius.  He did love Damien and showed it, every day.  If he was going to give up his anal virginity to anyone, it would be Scott.

But for one hundred and forty years, Damien had kept the pain of being penetrated in his head and that was one hell of a mindset to break.  Scott had been the only one any where near his ass in that time, when he’d rimmed him in the shower.  Hmmm, Damien remembered that too - and Scott had made him feel really good.  And that was what was important here. 

Scott wasn’t some arrogant jerk trying to claim an Alpha.  This wasn’t a power trip for Scott.  He also wasn’t sexually inexperienced.  Scott knew how make a man feel really good.  Hell, his mate knew how to turn his body inside out.  All Scott wanted was what Kane and Shawn, and Griff and Diablo had enjoyed, a double mating. Something money and position couldn’t buy, and only love could give.

Damien tilted up Scott’s head, where it still rested on his chest.  “I want you to claim me,” he said firmly.  “I want to feel you inside me.  I want to feel you love me in every way I know you can.  Can you do that for me?  Can you take away the shitty memories and show me how it’s meant to be done when someone loves you?”

“You are, without doubt, the most amazing man I know,” Scott said as he pulled Damien’s head down to kiss him. “And yes I can do that for you, gladly,” he murmured against Damien’s lips.

Chapter Thirty Two

Okay, no pressure here.  Nope, Scott thought as he pulled Damien down onto the bed so they were both laying flat.  I get to finally make love to my mate after he tells me why he’s never done it in more than a century
, and no there’s no pressure here at all. Fuck.  Scott forced his nerves under control and got down to what he knew he could do - make his mate feel good.

Damien was learning to be a really responsive lover.  After spending so much of his adult life simply plugging his cock into a hole and getting off, he was learning to appreciate the art of kissing, licking, sucking and biting.  Scott also knew that Damien absolutely loved it when he spent time worshipping that big body, so he decided to focus on that for the moment.  He needed Damien to be so needy with lust, that any fear he might have at the moment of penetration would be minimal.
If Damien was worried, his body would tense, and then anything Scott did would hurt.  Scott also knew he had to be controlled enough, so that if Damien showed any hesitation, he would stop, immediately. So yeah, no pressure at all.

/~/~/~/~/

Fuck, Damien was crawling out of his skin with frustration.  Scott was working him like a masterpiece, touching and setting all of Damien’s nerve endings alight.  His body had never felt so alive and so full of fucking need. The only place Scott hadn’t been near was his cock and ass, and hell wasn’t that where the main action was supposed to be happening?  His mate was slowly driving him nuts.

“Scott, love, come on please.  I’m needing here,” he tried to get Scott to move things along a bit.  Scott, who was currently nibbling up the inside of Damien’s thigh, simply grinned at him and
switched his head to the other leg, the moment he got too close to Damien’s cock.  Damien resisted the urge to just grab his mate’s head and shove it in the right direction.  He honestly thought that once he gave Scott the go ahead, that Scott would work him over quickly, knowing how nervous Damien was.  But no, it seemed like his mate was going to torture him to death instead.

“Scott,
please.”
Okay yes, it was official, the Alpha was begging, but Damien was going to just fucking explode if Scott didn’t give his cock some needed attention soon - now would be good.

“You’re too focused on your cock, love of mine.” Scott grinned as he knelt between Damien’s spread legs
, sliding his hands up Damien’s thighs and around his lower abdomen.  “Your whole body can be an erogenous zone if you apply the right sort of pleasure.  Lay back and feel me, my lover, and I promise you it will be worth the wait.”

Sighing, because Damien truly felt that Scott didn’t get it
, he flopped his head back on the bed and tried to relax a bit.  He was already fucking aroused - what more did the man want? A lot more it seemed, because then Scott licked up the length of Damien’s cock, taking his time to nudge and nibble the tip, right in Damien’s slit, and damn if that didn’t make him want to jump right off the bed.  He needed to come desperately.

But there was method in Scott’s behavior as he slurped and licked up and around Damien’s cock, coating the whole thing in saliva.  Saliva that Damien could feel run
over his balls and into his crease.  Oh crap, he wanted more of that sensation and he moaned deeply.  Soon Scott’s mouth on his cock was replaced by a hand, and Scott’s head moved lower, trailing over Damien’s balls, tugging on them as he went lower still.

“Need you propped up, love,” Scott said softly, from between his thighs.  Damien scooped up a couple of the many pillows, and thrust them under his hips.  Scott’s grin took on a feral quality as he looked down Damien’s body. 

“Fuck you are too beautiful for words, my lover,” Scott whispered before bending his head again, licking along Damien’s perineum, his hand still keeping Damien’s cock occupied and interested.  As Scott’s tongue got closer to his asshole, Damien tensed a tiny bit.  But Scott had done this to him before and he’d loved it.  Reminding himself that this was his mate, and Scott loved him, Damien gave himself over to simply feeling, and man, he had never felt this good.

“Scott,” he moaned his lover’s name as Scott’s tongue breached his hole for the first time.  All he got in response was a groan, which reverberated around his ass, and damn it
, even that felt amazing.  As Scott tongue fucked him, Damien felt his need increase and he knew his hole was quivering from all of the attention.  But instead of making him feel vulnerable or unsure, Damien just wanted more and as Scott wasn’t paying any attention to anything he was saying, Damien pushed his need for more, damn it, across their mind link.

Damien felt Scott’s facial muscles change and imagined the man was grinning, which his mate seemed to do a lot lately.  Then Damien felt the intrusion of something thin, but definitely more solid that Scott’s tongue.  His finger.   A finger so well-lubed, that it slid in effortlessly
, so that all Damien’s brain could register was ‘that’s weird’
,
as opposed to ‘get the fuck out’. Weird, but definitely okay. 

Damien pushed back on the finger to see what Scott would do, and Scott replied by burying it deeper, searching for, searching for, FUCK! Okay, Damien got it.  Understood why men gave up their ass for this.  The pleasure from Scott massaging his prostate was enough to send his balls tingling, urgently looking for release.  Damien was
so caught up in the sensations that swept his body, that he barely registered that Scott had added a second finger, and by the time Scott had added a third and then a fourth, Damien was fair fucking down on those fingers.  But damn it, it still wasn’t enough.

“Now, Scott, now, please,” he managed to pant out.  His body was on fire, his cock was so hard it almost hurt, and he just needed more
something
in his ass. Damien felt Scott remove his fingers, and then his legs were caught up in Scott’s strong arms, and laid to rest on Scott’s shoulders.  As Scott rubbed the head of his cock, and yes it did feel bigger than those fingers, against Damien’s hole, all Damien could feel at this point was ‘finally’!  He tried to push back on the bulbous head he could feel, but from his position he couldn’t. 

“I love you,” Scott’s words were low and clear, and Damien held onto them, tight, as Scott pushed in one fluid motion.  His cock breaching Damien’s hole without hesitation, and sliding home in one solid thrust.  Scott
gave one long moan and then stilled, completely, giving Damien a chance to process, a chance for his tightly strung body to relax and adjust.

Damn
, he felt so fucking full.  He felt complete.  The fact that Scott was inside him, and it didn’t fucking hurt, all thanks to the mountain of prep the man had put in, sent Damien’s body souring with pleasure. He felt like he could stay like this forever, his mate encased in his body in some form of suspended animation or some shit.  Damien wanted to laugh at his absurd thoughts, but he knew that was not a good idea.

Scott stayed hovered above him.  Silent.  Waiting.  Fuck, Damien thought, get with the program.  Scott was waiting for permission to move and all of a sudden the need, that had abated somewhat
when Scott had filled him with his cock, swamped back over his body and he desperately wanted Scott to fuck him.

“Fuck me,” he growled.

Scott’s face split into the biggest grin Damien had ever seen and even as he said the words, “with pleasure,” Scott started to move.  Some short thrusts to get Damien used to the sensation, then longer slides, in and out.  Damien had never felt anything like it.  Scott’s cock was big enough to hit Damien’s gland with every inward thrust and each time it lit up Damien’s nerves like he was on fire. 

As Damien grunted out, “more,” Scott leant forward a bit, curling Damien’s legs back over his body, thrusting himself deeper inside his mate’s hole.  Damien arched up to meet him, frustrated at the lack of traction he could get with his ass propped up on pillows. 

“I said more, damn it,” he growled out.  Scott rose up on his knees and pushed Damien’s legs out as far as they would go, moving his body in between them and dropping down his hands onto the bed, so he could support himself that way.  From this angle, Damien found that he could push his hips up to meet Scott’s and soon the men found a rhythm that worked. 

Grunts, groans and a lot of moaning accompanied the two men as they smashed into each other - Scott giving everything he had, and Damien
was an ecstatic recipient. When Scott grunted out, “touch yourself,” Damien reached down and palmed his heavy cock.  One thrust, two and… “I’m gonna come,” he yelled.

“Go for it.”  Scott thrust once more, hard, and then dropped his head down, sinking his teeth into Damien’s neck, right over their mating mark.  Damien flew apart.  His come shot stripe after stripe of white sticky mess across his stomach and chest.  His blood pounded in his ears until he could hear nothing else.  He had squeezed his eyes tight and the stars that flashed across his eyeballs damn near blinded him.  Damien’s whole body sang.  He vaguely heard Scott holler before he felt his insides coated with his mate’s release.  This was it.  This was what it was like to be claimed.  Damien felt so fan-fucking-tastic he couldn’t believe it.

As his breathing slowly started to come back to normal, he felt Scott’s gentle tongue lapping over Damien’s mating mark. But when he felt Scott try to move off of him, Damien pulled Scott down to his chest, Scott’s cock still deep inside of him and his splodgy mess now trapped between them.  From the contented sigh Scott gave, it would seem his mate wasn’t bothered. 

“Are you okay?”  Scott asked sleepily, his head still buried in Damien’s neck.

“More than,” Damien grunted back.  A nap sounded like a good idea and as Damien slowly drifted off to sleep, he felt Scott’s words of love in his mind.