Where I Belong (Alabama Summer) (18 page)

“Alright. I’m fine.” I shrug him off me and walk over to
Rollins who is watching the scene.

“Can’t say I blame you for that outburst. I would’ve reacted
the same way.”

“What are my chances of getting sole custody of my kid now?”
I ask him. Rollins’ wife is an attorney that we work with frequently, and he in
turn knows more about the system than I do. He also has an ex-wife that took
him to court years ago over a custody battle.

He puts a hand on my shoulder and applies mild pressure.
“Pretty damn good, man. Especially if the test results come back with more than
just alcohol in her system. That on top of the class E felony she’s getting
charged with should give you full custody.” I knew under law she was facing up
to four years of jail time for having a minor in the car with her. And I
figured I’ll have a damn good chance of getting full custody of Nolan. But I
wanted to hear it out loud. I needed to hear those words. I wanted certainty.

I nod at Rollins, thanking him before walking back toward
Luke and Tessa. She is watching me while he is watching her. And by the look on
both their faces, they still aren’t talking. “I’m going to stay at Mom and
Dad’s tonight with Nolan. Did you drive here or did Mia?”

“I did. I’ll meet you at home.” She turns on her heel
without giving Luke a glance.

“Tessa, come on. Will you at least talk to me for a minute?”
Luke calls out. She hears him but she doesn’t respond, not even with a look
over her shoulder. He runs his hands down his face and lets out a grunt behind
them. “I’ll see you tomorrow, man. I’m glad Nolan’s okay.” He walks away
looking defeated which is not a look he wears often. Especially pertaining to
women. I feel bad for the guy.

I talk to some other officers before finally walking to the
truck. Mia is holding Nolan against her chest in the front seat, both of them
asleep. I open her door and pry him out of her hands so that I can put him in
his car seat. She stirs at the loss of his weight on her.

“Hey.” She places her hand on my cheek after I settle into
the driver’s seat. “Are you okay?”

I turn my face into her palm and kiss it. “I am now.”

She doesn’t ask me any questions on the drive back to my
parents’ house. It’s as if she knows I need the silence right now. My brain is
working out the possible scenarios that could’ve transpired tonight. All of
them involving Nolan injured somehow. My grip keeps tightening on the wheel and
every time it does, Mia tightens her hold on my hand. She keeps her other hand
on the back of my neck, massaging it gently and relieving the tension that is
beginning to permanently set in. When we get to the house, I carry Nolan inside
and lay him down in the middle of the bed he sleeps in when he spends the night
here. I can’t leave him. Not yet. So I sit on the edge of his bed and watch his
chest rise and fall.

I could’ve lost him.

I’d never be able to watch him sleep again. I’d never hear
his husky voice ringing throughout the house or see him slaying invisible
dragons. I’d have three years of memories to live off of for the rest of my
life and it wouldn’t be enough. He is my world, and now because of his mother’s
reckless decision, he’s all mine. I’ll never have to miss another moment with
him. I’ll never have to beg to see my son on days that aren’t technically mine.
And I feel like a complete shit for feeling slightly grateful for the events
that unfolded tonight.

What the fuck is wrong with me?

I have no idea how long I sit there but when I eventually
get up and turn around, Mia is leaning against the doorframe. I walk over to
her and she wraps her arms around my waist, pressing her face to my chest.

“You know if you want to talk about it, I’m here.” She turns
her face up and I kiss her forehead.

“I’m glad it happened. How fucked up is that?”

Her hands grab my face. “You’re not glad it happened. You’d
never want Nolan to be in any sort of danger. The fact that you’ll probably never
have to split your time with him again because of Angie’s poor judgment is a
small silver lining. But Nolan’s well-being is the only real thing that matters
to you. You’d give up all your time with him if it meant keeping him safe. I
know you would.” 

I love you.

The words burn the back of my throat, aching to be released.
I have no idea how long getting Nolan’s custody arrangement sorted out will
take. And I can’t take him to Georgia until that happens. The legal system
takes its fucking time when you want it to hurry the hell up. And Mia may have
to leave me before I can take him out of the state. Plus I’ll need to get a job
lined up out there. It could be weeks, months before I’m with her again. And I
won’t make this harder on her. So I swallow those same three words again, not
letting them out. Not yet.

I bend down and lift her by her ass, prompting her to wrap
her legs around my waist. “I need you,” I whisper against her lips.

“You have me.”

I carry her into her bedroom and drop her in the middle of
the bed. “Take all of that off.” She sits up and pulls her dress over her head,
revealing herself to me in only a pair of white panties. “Fuck. I need to be
inside you, angel.”

She sits back on her hands, pushing her perfect tits out and
teasing me with them. “I’m waiting.”

I practically rip my shirt off, and when I start loosening
my belt, she lies back and slips her hand into the front of her panties.
“Jesus, Mia.” I step out of my pants and move over her, letting my cock drag up
the length of her body.

“Get in me,” she pleads, her hand still working between us
and her eyes rolling closed.

“Not yet. I need to taste you first.”

Her eyes shoot open with that flirtatious glint and her hand
wraps around my cock. “So do I.”

Her panties are torn from her body before I pick her up and
position her over me so that she’s straddling my face. I feel her warm breath
tickling my cock as I nip at the soft skin of her inner thigh. “Those pretty
lips of yours better find themselves wrapped around my dick in two seconds.”

Her soft laugh fills the room. “And if they don’t?”

I lick up her length, not being able to hold out any longer.
Her taste fills my mouth and her moan vibrates against my lips. I savor her
with my tongue, letting everything fade out around me. I’m a junkie getting his
fix. But instead of the hit dulling out my senses, I feel my pulse quicken and
my bones begin to vibrate. I’m a fucking king between her legs and when she
finally swallows my cock, I grab onto her hips and bury my face into her pussy.

She releases it with a pop and presses down on my pelvis
with her hands, her back bowing in pleasure. “Oh my God. I’m not going to be
able to focus if you keep doing that.” Her voice breaks with another moan when
I don’t let up and her hand takes over where her mouth was.

I groan against her clit before biting down on it gently.
She gasps and I release it. “Bend down and suck my dick, Mia. I’m coming in
that mouth tonight.”

“Then you’re going to have to let up a little.”

Yeah, that’s not happening.
I smile against her.
“Nothing could pull me away from your pussy, angel. Put my dick in your mouth
and don’t be fucking gentle about it. I want to feel the back of your throat
when I’m coming.”

I feel her weight shift and her tongue licks the head of my
cock. I’m about to tell her not to tease me when she deep throats me like a
fucking champion and scraps her teeth along my shaft.

“Mia!” I grunt out, digging my fingers into her ass. She
sucks me like her life depends on it and I flatten my tongue against her clit,
stroking it in a rhythm that makes her lips vibrate against my cock. And then
it’s about getting her off before me. I alternate between sucking on her clit
and fucking her with my tongue, pulling her hips down so hard I’m practically
being smothered. I feel her pulse against my tongue and when she releases my
cock and digs her nails into my hip, I know I have her. She rocks against me,
fucking my face and riding out her orgasm while she softly chants my name. I
press my lips once more to her clit before she collapses on top of me, her face
now resting on my thigh.

“Sorry. Just give me a minute,” she pants, sliding off my
stomach and settling between my legs. She glances up at the smug face I’m
wearing and wraps her hand around my cock. “Still want to come in my mouth?”
she questions before pressing her lips to my shaft.

I groan as she slides down. “Stop talking and suck my cock,
baby.”

Her cheek twitches with a smile. “Yes, Officer Kelly.”

Mia

The bed is jolting underneath me, bringing me out of my
dream. A tiny laugh fills the room and prompts me to open my eyes. Nolan is
jumping on the bed and giggling at himself, and when he sees my eyes on him he
hops over toward me and collapses on my stomach.

I grunt as his elbow connects with a few of my ribs.
Jeez.
How can such a tiny body inflict so much pain
? After recovering, I rustle
his hair with my hand, rubbing his back with the other. “You are a little ball
of energy in the morning. Are you hungry?”

He slides off me and scoots off the bed. “I want pamcakes.”
His husky little voice is hoarser in the morning. That and his crazy hair are
the only thing giving away that he has just woken up. He certainly isn’t moving
as slow as I know I will be. Even off the bed, he is jumping around like a jack
rabbit.

I sit up and rub my eyes with both hands. “Go wake up Aunt
Tessa and I’ll meet you in the kitchen.” His little feet quickly take him out
of the room and down the hallway while I get dressed for the day. My phone
beeps on the nightstand just as I am pulling my hair back into a pony.

Ben: Is the maniac
awake yet?

Me: Are you kidding?
He’s running on full speed already. :) We’re getting ready to make pancakes.

Ben: He’s probably
psyched out of his mind getting to spend the day with you. I’m jealous.

Me: You’ll get me
tonight, don’t worry.

Ben: Bet your ass I
will. I’ll see you around six.

Me: Can’t wait.

I tuck my phone into my pocket and walk out into the
kitchen. Tessa is rummaging through the cabinets while Nolan is playing with
her phone on the couch. I snicker at the sight of him browsing ITunes like he’s
done it a million times.

“Crapola. We don’t have any pancake mix,” she says, closing
the doors she had opened and turning toward me. “My parents really should have
stocked up before they decided to take a six month trip to Europe. I’m
extremely disappointed in them.”

I chuckle and grab my keys off the counter. “Yes, how dare
they not provide you with food for half the year while they go on vacation.”
She scowls at me playfully, pulling the orange juice out of the fridge. “I’ll
run to the store and get some. Do we need anything else?”

“We’ll need some more milk with Nolan here. Other than that,
I think we’re good.” She walks over to the couch and plops down next to him.
“Can you not buy apps please? How do you even know my password?” She leans her
head into his and monitors his actions on her phone.

I laugh under my breath as I walk toward the door. “Alright.
I’ll be back in a little while. Hold down the fort, Sir Nolan.” He shoots his
dimples at me before returning to purchasing apps on Tessa’s phone.

** 

I’m waiting in the checkout line at the grocery story after
having grabbed the pancake mix, some milk, and a dragon coloring book I found
near the greeting cards when my phone starts ringing. I pull it out of my
pocket and place my basket at my feet, seeing my aunt’s name flashing on the
screen.

“Hey, Aunt Mae.”

“Mia, sweetie, you need to come home.” She sniffs loudly and
my heart immediately drops to the floor next to my basket.

I’m out the door, running across the parking lot within
seconds. “What’s happened? Is it that stupid cold she had? Does she have a
fever now or something?” I knew it was more than a cold.
Fuck!
My tires
screech as I pull out of my parking space and drive toward the exit for the
highway. My aunt sobs through the phone. “Aunt Mae, tell me what’s going on.
Can I talk to her?” I hear a faint beeping sound through the phone in between
my aunt’s cries.
She’s in the hospital. That’s what that sound is.

“She was fine. I don’t know what happened. I went to wake
her up this morning and she wouldn’t respond to me.” Her voice cracks and she
starts crying harder. “She won’t wake up, Mia. The doctors are waiting for you
to get here. Oh, sweetheart. I’m so sorry.”

I’m crying now, sobbing uncontrollably. I have to keep
wiping my eyes to be able to see the road in front of me. The hand holding the
phone to my ear is shaking so badly, my aunt’s cries are fading in and out. I
know what she means. My mom has a DNR. The doctors are waiting for me to get
there before they take her off the machines. My mom is dying and I’m not there.
I haven’t been there for her. “I’m on my way. Tell her I’m on my way!”

“Honey, she’s unconscious.”

“Tell her I’m coming!” I hang up the phone and drop it
somewhere, anywhere. I don’t give a shit about my phone right now.

My attention is on the road and nothing else as I fly down
the highway. The speed limit means nothing to me. Nor do the other cars on the
road. I swerve in and out of traffic, taking the median occasionally when I
can’t get around someone. The only thing I care about is getting to her in less
than four hours. Four fucking hours. Why the hell did I leave her? I knew in my
gut that I shouldn’t have left for the summer. I was selfish. I was more
concerned with having an amazing summer with my best friend than taking care of
my own mother. And now she’s dying and I’m not there. I wasn’t there when she
got that fucking cold. I wasn’t there last night when she probably started
feeling bad, and then the bad turned to worse sometime in the middle of the
night. She probably called out for me in her weak voice, too weak to alert my
aunt. And now I’m two hundred miles away from her and I can’t get to her fast
enough.

The world blurs in front of me.

The image of my mother in a hospital bed fills my thoughts
as I speed down the highway. I only stop when I absolutely have to and it’s
only to pump gas. I don’t even run inside the gas station to use the restroom.
But I do grab my phone that had slid underneath the back seat. I have a few
missed calls from Tessa but I ignore them for now. I dial Ben’s number and it
goes straight to voicemail.

“Babe, my mom is dying. I’m on my way to Fulton now.” I
pause and take in two shaky breaths, wiping underneath my eyes. “I know you
can’t be here with me, but can you at least call me? I just, I need to hear
your voice right now. I’m not ready to say goodbye to her. I don’t really know
how I’m going to get through this.” I blink, sending the tears streaming down
my face. “Please call me.” I end the call, keeping my eyes on the pump. As soon
as the numbers stop rolling over, I yank it out of my car and get back on the
road.

How I manage to get into Fulton in two and a half hours,
I’ll never understand. But I do by some miracle. Of course, I did break the
speed limit by a long shot the entire way here. I pull my phone out of my
pocket as I run up to the entrance. I need to tell Tessa where I am. She’s
probably worried sick right now, and I can only imagine how hungry Nolan must
be. After four rings, her voicemail picks up and I curse under my breath.
Is
nobody answering phones today?
“Hey, it’s me. I’m so sorry I missed your
calls but I’m in Fulton at the hospital. It’s my mom. She’s dying, Tessa.” I
bit my lip to stop myself from crying. “I got the call from my aunt when I was
at the grocery store and I just drove straight here. Can you tell Ben to call
me? Or text me or something? I tried calling him but he didn’t answer.” I
remember the groceries I left on the floor by the checkout counter. “Oh and
tell Nolan I’m sorry about the pancakes. I’ll make him some the next time I see
him.”

I tuck my phone away and run into the hospital, stopping at
the information desk. I’m directed toward the ICU and as I run off the
elevators, I see my aunt. She’s pacing outside the room, glancing down at her
watch repetitively when she turns toward my footsteps. She wraps her arms
around me and I cry against her shoulder. “Oh, sweetheart. I’m so sorry this
happened. I swear to God she was fine yesterday. I would’ve called you if I
thought it was serious.”

I pull away from her and look into the room. “Do the doctors
know what happened? She was doing so well. I just, I don’t understand. She was
beating it. She was going to beat it.” I watch as the nurse jots something down
in my mom’s chart, her eyes shifting from the monitor to her clipboard. Just
then, a man walks over to where my aunt and I are standing and holds his hand
out to me. He’s wearing a white lab coat and an apologetic expression.

“Miss Corelli? I’m Dr. Stevens, the attending that’s been
looking after your mom.” I shake his hand weakly, my eyes straining to look at
him because they want to stay glued on my mom. Now that I’m here, she has my
full attention. “I’m sure you’re aware of how sick your mom was. The treatments
seemed to be working, but these things can happen. The slightest infection that
wouldn’t affect a healthy person can really be detrimental to someone with her
condition.”

I start crying again. “She told me a few days ago that she
had a cold but she said it wasn’t a big deal. But I knew it was. I should’ve
been here.” My aunt’s arm wraps around my shoulder as I blink heavily, sending
the tears streaming down my face.

Dr. Stevens puts his hand on my shoulder. “Darling, there’s
really nothing you could’ve done. The cancer was just too strong and your mom
couldn’t fight it anymore. She’s not in any pain now.” He looks into her room
briefly before turning back to me. “You take as much time as you need, okay?”

I nod and give him a weak smile before walking into the
room. My aunt stays outside, giving me the privacy I need and the nurse steps
out as well. I sit down in the chair and grab my mom’s hand. She’s pale but her
hand is warm, and she looks peaceful. Content. Like she’s ready to let go. I
bend down and press my lips to her knuckles. “Hi, Mom.”

I stay with her for hours, listening to the monitors and the
light chatter of the people out in the hallway. I never once let go of her
hand, not even when the nurses come in to take her vitals. I talk to her like
she’s awake and watching me, listening intently to my voice. I tell her all
about Ben and Nolan, and how I’ve fallen in love with the boy that I’d once
hated more than anything. I tell her that I wished she could meet the man he is
now because I know she would love him. And I tell her that I want to have
babies just like Nolan with him. Dimpled little versions of Ben with maybe a
few of my features but mostly his. The tears come back when I realize she’ll
never see me on my wedding day or meet any of her grandchildren. But I promise
her that my children will know all about their grandmother and how beautiful
and kind she was.

My aunt joins me after a while and we talk about the last
several days she spent with her and what they did. She fills me in on every
tiny detail, making me feel like I was there instead of miles away. I keep
checking my phone but never hear from Tessa or Ben, and I can’t hide the
sadness that overwhelms me when neither one of them contact me. Especially Ben.
I need to hear his voice. I need him with me, but he doesn’t call me or text me
and I don’t understand why. And as time drags on, the hurt in my heart grows to
the point of being agonizing. Maybe I had imagined what we had together. Maybe
he didn’t love me. Maybe this was all just some game to him, tricking his
sister’s annoying best friend into loving him. And when Dr. Stevens comes in to
ask if we’re ready to say our goodbyes, I lose it. I drop to my knees and cry
harder than I ever have before. I cry over losing my mom to this bullshit
disease that doesn’t care whose lives it ruins, I cry over my selfishness and
the fact that I chose a summer with Ben over my last summer with my mom, and I
cry because the man I love doesn’t care enough to comfort me over the phone. I
know he can’t be here with me. He has to work. But he could’ve called. And as I
stand outside my mom’s room, watching them cover her up with a white sheet,
that familiar hate I once reserved just for him comes right back up to the
surface.

“You know, I think it’s really amazing that your mom wanted
to donate her body to science. She could be the reason they find a cure for
that fucking disease.” I can’t help but laugh at my aunt’s use of profanity.
She never cusses around me. Her hand tucks a piece of hair behind my ear that
has fallen out of my hair tie. “Are you going to stick around here for a while
or are you heading back to Alabama?”

I glance down at my phone again. Still nothing. “I don’t
have any reason to go back to Alabama.”

“Isn’t being in love a good enough reason?” she asks.

“Not when it’s one-sided.” I look down at my phone and
squeeze it tightly, willing it to ring. “He didn’t even care about me enough to
text me. You really can’t get more impersonal than a text, and that was still
too much for him.” I meet my aunt’s pitiful gaze. “It’s fine. I’m used to
hating Ben. It’s not very difficult. I can get my stuff mailed to me that way I
don’t ever have to go back there.” The thought of never seeing Nolan again
makes my stomach churn. But seeing Nolan meant seeing Ben. The Ben that doesn’t
care enough.

She takes a sip of the coffee she’s been nursing for the
past hour. “Why don’t you step outside and get some air. It’ll be good to get
out of this stuffy atmosphere for a few minutes. Clear your head a little.”

I nod in agreement and take the elevators down to the main
level, walking out of the entrance I came sprinting through several hours ago.
As soon as I step onto the sidewalk, my phone starts beeping like crazy in my
pocket. Startled, I pull it out and watch as the number of missed calls from
Tessa’s cell phone rack up. But still nothing from Ben.

How the hell did I miss this many calls?

 And then it hits me. There isn’t any cell phone reception
in the hospital. I begin listening to the voicemails she left me. The first
several are wondering where I am, telling me that Nolan is driving her nuts
with his impatience. Then she tells me that Nolan was messing with her phone
again and she noticed that he turned the volume down and that’s why she missed
my call. She tells me she’ll call Ben and I can’t help the aggravation I feel
at that statement. She cries in the next message, asking me to call her so she
can find out what’s going on with my mom. As soon as she starts talking about
Ben not answering his phone, I delete the message and go on to the next one. If
she had any excuses for him, I didn’t want to hear them. He obviously didn’t
love me because if you loved someone, you’d take five seconds out of your day
to send them a text when their mother is dying. One fucking word could’ve been
sent to me. A simple sorry. But no. I needed him and he didn’t care. He doesn’t
love me. And that realization stings my entire body with a discomfort I’ve never
felt before. But just when I think my world can’t crumble anymore, I reach the
last voicemail in my inbox.