Where I Belong (Alabama Summer) (16 page)

Mia

“See, it’s a good thing I stocked up like I did yesterday,”
I say, carrying over two bags of chips and the box of cookies that Nolan and I
had made a dent in yesterday. Girls’ night can’t exist without some sort of
junk food. I drop them onto the coffee table and settle in next to Tessa,
turning my body toward her. She isn’t crying anymore but she looks emotionally
drained. I tuck my legs underneath me and place my hand on her knee. “What
happened with Luke?”

She sniffs, leaning her head so it rests on the back of the
couch. Her eyes are puffy and bloodshot and her nose is bright red. I’ve never
seen Tessa cry before. Not even when we were younger. She was always the
stronger one out of the two of us.

“I didn’t know where Luke stood on the whole kid thing.
We’ve never talked about it and I didn’t want to just drop the baby bomb in his
lap without being somewhat prepared for his reaction.” She reaches up and wipes
a tear from her face. “I was anticipating him saying that he’d want to wait a
few years to start a family and then I’d say something like
instead of
waiting a few years, how do you feel about waiting a few months?
But he
didn’t say that.” She looks down into her lap and begins picking at her nail
polish.

“What did he say?”

“He said he didn’t know if he wanted kids. He said that
every time he saw Ben and Nolan together, he never once thought that was
something he’d want someday.” She lifts her head and looks at me. “I got so
angry. I pushed him away from me and started screaming at him. I told him I was
tired of whatever the hell it was we were doing together and that I didn’t want
to see him anymore.” She starts crying again and I grab her hand before she
continues. “I don’t even know if he was fully committed to me. He could’ve been
fucking every girl in Ruxton for all I know, and then the thought of him
getting all those girls pregnant pissed me off even more. I was yelling and
crying. I don’t even know if I was making any sense. He tried to calm me down
but I couldn’t even look at him. I told him never to call me again and I left.”

I grab a tissue out of the box and hand it to her. “So you
didn’t tell him you might be pregnant?” Even if she and Luke weren’t together
anymore, I still thought he should know about it.

She chuckles softly which completely throws me off. Ending
things with the father of your unborn child doesn’t seem humorous to me. “The
timing of this whole thing couldn’t have been more fucked up. After I got home,
I went to the bathroom and low and behold, there was my stupid period. That
bitch really took her sweet ass time making an appearance.” She shakes her head
and drops it to the side, leaning it against the couch. “I keep thinking that
if I would’ve just waited a day, that whole conversation wouldn’t have happened
and we’d still be screwing around. But I’m glad I didn’t wait. I want a family
someday. I want to get married and have kids and I wouldn’t get that with him.
I’d just be wasting my time.” Her words are certain but she seems saddened by
the loss of whatever it was that she and Luke shared. I tighten my grip on her
hand.

“I’m really sorry things didn’t work out. With Luke and the
baby. I know you were excited about being a mom.”

She shrugs. “It’s probably for the best. I see what my
brother has to go through raising a baby with somebody he isn’t with. And I’m
sure Luke would’ve ended things once I told him that I was keeping it.” She
grabs a few cookies and rests back on the arm of the couch. “I am going to miss
the sex though. My God.”

I chuckle and grab a bag of chips. “That good?” She eyes me
up humorously. “Well there’s always Reed. Have you two ever gotten together?” I
really had no idea if the two of them had ever hooked up. Reed was a good
looking guy, and Tessa was, well, she was Tessa.

She holds her hand up to stop me, grimacing. “Gross. That
would be like sleeping with Ben. And he’s got a lot of baggage. Didn’t he tell
you about his last girlfriend?” I shake my head and dive into my chip bag,
preparing myself for some gossip. “It’s really fucked up. He started dating
this girl senior year, Molly Mcafferty, and they were like crazy in love.
Everyone thought that they’d end up married with a shit load of babies
someday.” She gets up off the couch and walks to the fridge, returning with two
beers and handing me one before reclaiming her seat. “But that obviously didn’t
happen.” Tessa takes a sip of her beer and licks her lips. “Molly went to
college in Virginia and Reed stayed here, getting on at his dad’s company. He
was determined to make it work though and stayed completely faithful to her. I
mean, he acted like they were married already. He wouldn’t even look at other
girls. He wrote her letters all the time and would take road trips every
weekend to go see her, but she never came back here to see him. Not even during
holidays. And after a while, she stopped calling him all together.” I have an
idea where this story is going and I almost don’t want to hear anymore. Reed is
a sweet guy and doesn’t deserve what I fear Tessa is about to tell me. She
continues with a heavy sigh. “I voiced my opinion on their seemingly one-sided
relationship and he got all pissed at me. I told him that if he was so certain
that she wasn’t two timing him, that he should go see her during the week when
she wasn’t expecting him.”

“Did
he?”                              

“Yup. He walked right in on her banging some dude in her
dorm room.”

I have the sudden urge to go find Reed and hug him and beat
the shit out of this Molly chick. I despise cheaters. My mom’s last boyfriend
was one. “Oh God. Poor Reed. Has he dated anybody since her?”

She digs into her bag of chips, popping a few in her mouth
before answering. “I wouldn’t classify hooking up with random chicks as dating.
He’s like the king of one-night stands around here.”

I chuckle softly. It could’ve been Reed that night at the
bar, buying me purple drinks and telling me he’d lose his mind if he didn’t get
inside me soon. That thought is quickly pushed out of my head. I don’t want to
imagine giving myself to anyone but Ben. I belong to him.

“He’s just afraid of falling for some chick and then getting
crushed again,” she continues. “But he’s never admitted that to me. He acts as
if Molly didn’t completely wreck him, but he didn’t see what I saw. That boy
was destroyed.” We both chew up our mouthfuls, placing our chip bags on the
coffee table when we are finish.

I am picking at the label on my beer bottle when I feel a
pair of eyes on me. I look up and meet her beaming smile. “What?”

“You got naked in front of him last night, didn’t you?”

There’s the Tessa I know and love. I chuckle and shake my
head. “No. I sent him a text that was meant for you.” I pull my phone out of my
pocket and show it to her.

She arches her brow, reading over the text several times.
“Damn. Well, that’s definitely one way to go about getting him out of the
friend zone. How did he react to this?”

“How do you
think
he reacted to it?” I ask playfully.
I scoot over next to her so that we can rest our heads against each other’s.
Our legs are stretched out in front of us, our feet propped up on the edge of
the coffee table. “You were right.”

“I usually am. But what exactly are you referring to?”

I sigh, pausing for dramatic effect. She bumps her knee
against mine, indicating that she isn’t having my stalling tactics today. “I
love him.” I actually feel my heart swell inside my chest when I admit it out
loud. The butterflies that only Ben can evoke inside my stomach begin
fluttering about in there. I feel my love for him streaming through me as if it
runs through my veins. And I know without a doubt that I’ll love him fiercely
and forever.

Her hand squeezes my knee. “Of course you do. And he loves
you. It’s ridiculously obvious, and annoying now that I’m single.” She yawns at
the end of her observation, prompting me to do the same at the sound of hers.

I want to believe Tessa. I want to believe what my own heart
is telling me. But I’ll never be sure until he speaks those words to me
himself. A part of me thinks I shouldn’t love him, but for completely different
reasons than I’ve ever had before. I know how hard it’s going to be to leave
him when I have to go back to Georgia. And leaving my heart here isn’t going to
make it any easier. Maybe that’s why Ben hasn’t said those words to me, if he
even feels them at all. Maybe he’s being sensible and keeping his heart out of
this. But I want him to jump off that cliff after me. I want him to feel that
rush and risk the pain because I’m willing to.

I’d risk it all.

**

 “You know you’re best friends with someone when you’re
willing to handcuff them, while they’re practically naked, and help them get
ready for a sex fest with your brother,” Tessa says through a smile that I hear
rather than see. I can’t see much of anything in the position I am currently in
besides the headboard and the comforter. She fastens the handcuffs to my
wrists, securing my arms behind my back. “This is nuts considering we don’t
have a key for these. How fucked up would it be if he got held up at work and you
had to stay like this for hours? Or days?”

Shit. I hadn’t thought about that. God, that would be awful.
Not to mention embarrassing. I’m not sure how I’d manage to go to the bathroom
like this. I open my mouth to respond when I hear the sound of the sliding
glass door opening.

“Showtime,” Tessa says. “I’ll be heading out for a few
hours. Try not to kill him.”

“Thanks,” I whisper. My entire body is buzzing with
anticipation as she leaves the room, closing the door behind her. I hear
muffled voices in the distance, laughing to myself at the speech Tessa
rehearsed with me when I asked her to help me out tonight.
Mia was not
acting like herself today. She seemed a bit on edge and a little hostile. I had
to restrain her.
And then the kicker.
She’s been a bad girl, Ben
.
A
very bad girl.
I would’ve loved to have seen her face when she delivered
that line. And his for that matter. The floorboards in the hallway creak with
his footsteps that inch closer until finally, the door swings open.

I can’t see him, but I can hear him clearly with the one ear
that is facing the ceiling. I am kneeling on the edge of the bed, my body
angled down and my cheek resting on the comforter. My wrists are bound behind
my back and I’m only wearing a very skimpy pair of black panties. They barely
cover anything and I might as well be naked right now. And by the sound of his
heavy panting, he isn’t hating this surprise.

“Dear God. A man should be warned before he walks in on you
like this. I almost came at the sight of you, baby.” He moves closer and places
his hand on my lower back, running it up my spine. I whimper at his touch. It’s
like fire melting ice. “My dirty girl looks absolutely stunning face down. And
I bet you like this, don’t you? I bet you’re dripping right now.”

“Touch me and find out.”

His hand moves lower, teasing me between my legs. “Holy
fuck,” he grunts, sliding my panties down to my knees. His fingers dip inside
me, moving in a steady rhythm as I moan against his touch. His lips press
against my back, licking and kissing my skin. “What do you want, angel? Tell me
and I’ll give it to you.”

“You, Ben. I want you.”

“And you’re going to get me, sweetheart. But I want you to
be specific right now. Do you want me to make you come like this?”

I groan loudly into the mattress. Jesus. His fingers are
like magic. I am certain he can get me off in two seconds with them if he wants
to. But I know what he wants to hear and what I want him to give me. “I want
you to do whatever you want with me. Take what you need and don’t hold back. This
belongs to you.”

“Yes, baby.” He removes his fingers and the sound of him
sucking on them nearly pushes me over the edge. And then I hear his belt
loosening and I’m reminded of one more very important thing. This needs to be
said before he uses my body for his own pleasure. This is my fantasy as much as
it is his.

“Leave your uniform on.”

 “Fuck yes.” The sound of a zipper lowering is the last
noise I hear before he enters me. We both moan together, his louder than mine,
as his hands grip my forearms. “Christ, you’re perfect. I don’t think I’ve ever
been this hard.”

He moves in and out of me, taking what he needs. His power
during sex is immeasurable. The way his grip tightens on me, the way his hips
slam against my backside. He is fucking me with such force, such greedy need.
And God, I want everything he is giving me. I want him to possess every inch of
me. I am certain my body is specifically made for his pleasure and his for
mine. Our sounds and his words to me ring out around us. He tells me how badly
he wants me. How nothing has ever felt like this. And how he’ll never get
enough. I feel everything he gives me and every word he speaks. This is what
being in love feels like. Raw. Honest. He makes me feel beautiful and wanted,
even in this vulnerable position. When he’s close to losing it, he presses his
lips to my ear and his fingers find my clit. And when he tells me to
fucking
come
, my body answers him immediately.

I’m panting into the comforter, trying to steady my
breathing as he unfastens the handcuffs. But I know we’re not done. If I’ve
learned anything from being with Ben, it’s that my insatiable hunger for him
will always be met by his need for me. We’ll never be easily gratified when it
comes to each other. Even after we’ve given every piece of ourselves, we’ll
still want more. His hands massage my wrists, rubbing the life back into them
as I turn over onto my back. My panties are finally removed and he tosses them
somewhere off the bed. He pushes my one leg close to my body as he enters me,
grinding his hips against mine.