Where Rainbows End (2 page)

Rosie

to:

Alex

subject:

To a very pissed off Alex

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha em . . . I’ve forgotten what I was going to write . . . oh yeah . . . ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Lots of love from an extremely comfy, snuggy, warm, and happy Rosie typing from her bedroom

from:

Alex

to:

Rosie

subject:

To the lazy bitch

I don’t care. There is an absolute babe working in this office. I am going to marry her. Now who’s laughing?

from:

Rosie

to:

Alex

subject:

Don Juan

Who is she?

From a non-lesbian so am therefore NOT jealous.

14

Cecelia Ahern

from:

Alex

to:

Rosie

subject:

To non-lesbian

I will for the time being humor you by calling you that although I have yet to see any evidence to suggest otherwise. When is the last time you had a boyfriend?

Her name is Bethany Williams and she is 17 (older woman), blonde, has a massive pair of boobs, and the longest legs I have ever seen.

From the sex god.

from:

Rosie

to:

Alex

subject:

Mr. Sex god (puke puke gag vomit)

She sounds like a giraffe. I’m sure she is a really nice person (Not!).

Have you even said hello to her or has your future wife yet to acknowledge your existence? (Apart from handing you memos to photocopy of course.) One minute you’re a virgin and the next minute you’re a sex god. Are you sure you would even know what to do?

You have an instant message from: ALEX

Alex:

Hey there Rosie got some news for you.

Rosie:

Leave me alone please I’m trying to concentrate on what Mr. Simpson is saying.

Alex:

Hmmm wonder why . . . could it be those beautiful big blue eyes all you girls are always going on about?

Rosie:

Nope, I have a great and growing interest in excel. It’s so exciting I find. I could just sit in and do it all weekend.

Alex:

Oh you’re turning into such a bore

Rosie:

I WAS JOKING YOU IDIOT! I bloody hate this crap my brain is turning to mush from listening to him. But go away anyway.

love, rosie

15

Alex:

Do you not wanna hear my news?

Rosie:

Nope

Alex:

Well I’m telling you anyway

Rosie:

La la ala la la la la la la la

Alex:

Shut up and read Rosie

Rosie:

OK what’s the big exciting news?

Alex:

Well you can eat your words my friend, because virgin boy is no longer Rosie:

Is no longer than a what? Baby sweetcorn?

Alex:

Ha ha is no longer a virgin boy

Alex:

Hello? You still there?

Alex:

Rosie c’mon stop messing!

Rosie:

Sorry I seem to have fallen off my chair and knocked myself out. I had an awful dream you said you are no longer a virgin boy. I suppose that means you won’t be wearing your underwear over those tights anymore.

Alex:

I have no need for underwear at all now.

Rosie:

Uuuugh! So who’s the unlucky girl? Please don’t say Bethany please don’t say Bethany.

Alex:

Tough shit it’s Bethany. Well?

Rosie:

Well what?

Alex:

Well say something.

Rosie:

People will stare.

Alex:

Ha ha OK then type something.

Rosie:

Well I really don’t know what you want me to say Alex. I think you need to get yourself some male friends because I’m not gonna slap you on the back and look for gory details.

Alex:

Just tell me what you think.

Rosie:

Well to be honest, from what I hear about her, I think she’s a slut.

Alex:

Oh come on you don’t even no the girl, you’ve never even met her.

You call anyone who sleeps with anyone a slut.

Rosie:

Eh SLIGHT exaggeration there Alex. I call people who sleep with different people every day of the week sluts.

Alex:

You no that’s not true.

Rosie:

You keep spelling KNOW wrong. It’s KNOW not NO.

16

Cecelia Ahern

Alex:

Shut up with the “know” thing, you’ve been going on about that since we were about 5!

Rosie:

Yeah exactly so you think you would listen to me by now.

Alex:

Oh forget I said anything.

Rosie:

Oh Alex I’m just worried about you. I know you really like her and all I’m saying is that she’s not a one man kind of girl.

Alex:

Well she is now.

Rosie:

Are you two going out with each other?

Alex:

Yes.

Rosie:

YES?????

Alex:

You sound surprised.

Rosie:

I just didn’t think Bethany went out with people, I thought she just slept with them.

Rosie:

Alex?

Rosie:

OK OK I’m sorry.

Alex:

Rosie you need to stop doing that.

Rosie:

I no I do.

Alex:

Ha ha

Mr. Simpson:

You two get down to the principal’s office now.

Rosie:

WHAT??? OH SIR PLEASE, I WAS LISTENING TO YOU!

Mr. Simpson:

Rosie I haven’t spoken for the last 15 minutes. You are supposed to be working on an assignment now.

Rosie:

Oh. Well it’s not my fault. Alex is an awful influence on me.

He just never lets me concentrate on my school work Alex:

I just had something really important to tell Rosie and it just couldn’t wait.

Mr. Simpson:

So I see Alex, congratulations.

Alex:

Eh . . . how do you know what it was . . .

Mr. Simpson:

I think you two would find it interesting sometimes if you listen to me every now and again. You can really learn some useful tips like how to keep an instant message private so everyone else on the other computers can’t see.

Alex:

Are you telling me other people in the class can read this?

love, rosie

17

Mr. Simpson:

Yes I am.

Alex:

Oh my god

Rosie:

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Mr. Simpson:

Rosie!

Rosie:

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Mr. Simpson:

ROSIE!!!

Rosie:

Yes sir.

Mr. Simpson:

Get out of the class now.

Alex:

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

Mr. Simpson:

You too Alex.

from:

Rosie

to:

Alex

subject:

Julie’s house party

Hiya, long time no see . . . I hope they’re not working you to death down there in “the office.” I’ve hardly seen you at all this summer. There’s a party at Julie’s house tonight so was just wondering if you wanted to go. I don’t really want to go on my own . . . anyway I’m sure you’re busy in that office doing whatever it is you do so just ring me when you get a chance or e-mail me back.

from:

Alex

to:

Rosie

subject:

Re: Julie’s house party

Rosie, this is just quick e-mail real busy. Can’t go out tonight, promised Bethany would go to cinema. Sorry! You go and have fun, Alex Rosie,

Hello from Portugal! Weather here really hot. Dad got sunstroke and all mum does is lie by the pool which is really boring. Not much people here my love, rosie

19

age. Hotel quiet (on front of postcard) and it’s right on the beach as you can see. You would love to work here! I’m bringing home a collection of those little shampoos and shower caps and stuff that you love. The bathrobe is too big to fit into my bag. See you when I get back, Alex from:

Rosie

to:

Alex

subject:

Catching up?

Heard you got back from your holidays last week, haven’t heard much from you lately . . . fancy going out tonight to catch up?

from:

Alex

to:

Rosie

subject:

Re: Catching up?

Sorry have been so busy since I got back. Got you pressie. Can’t go out tonight but will drop your pressie by before I head out.

from:

Rosie

to:

Alex

subject:

Re: Catching up?

Didn’t see you last night, I want little shampoos ha ha.

from:

Alex

to:

Rosie

subject:

Re: Catching up?

Heading to Donegal for the weekend, Beth’s parents have a little “hide-away” there. (That’s what they call it.) Will drop your pressie by when I get back.

20

Cecelia Ahern

To the most inconsiderate asshole of a friend, I’m writing you this letter because I know that if I say what I have to say to your face I will probably punch you.

I don’t know you anymore.

I don’t see you anymore.

All I get is a quick text or a rushed e-mail from you every few days. I know you are busy and I know you have Bethany, but hello? I’m supposed to be your best friend.

You have no idea what this summer has been like. Ever since we were kids we pushed away every single person that could possibly have been our friend. We blocked people until there was only me and you. You probably haven’t noticed, because you have never been in the position I am in now.

You have always had someone. You always had me. I always had you. Now you have Bethany and I have no one.

Now I feel like those other people that used to try to become our friend, that tried to push their way into our circle but were met by turned backs. I know you’re probably not doing it deliberately just as we never did it deliberately. It’s not that we didn’t
want
anyone else, it’s just that we didn’t
need
them. Sadly now it looks like you don’t need me anymore.

Anyway I’m not moaning on about how much I hate her, I’m just trying to tell you that I miss you. And that well . . . I’m lonely.

Whenever you cancel nights out I end up staying home with Mum and Dad watching TV. It’s so depressing. This was supposed to be our summer of fun. What happened? Can’t you be friends with two people at once?

I know you have found someone who is extra special, and I know you both have a special “bond,” or whatever, that you and I will never have. But we have another bond, we’re best friends. Or does the best friend bond disappear as soon as you meet somebody else? Maybe it does, maybe I just don’t understand that because I haven’t met that “somebody special.” I’m not in any hurry to, either. I liked things the way they were.

So maybe Bethany is now your best friend and I have been relegated to just being your “friend.” At least be that to me, Alex. In a few years time if my name ever comes up you will probably say, “Rosie, now there’s a name I haven’t heard in years. We used to be best friends. I wonder what she’s doing love, rosie

21

now; I haven’t seen or thought of her in years!” You will sound like my mum and dad when they have dinner parties with friends and talk about old times.

They always mention people I’ve never even heard of when they’re talking about some of the most important days of their lives. Yet where are those people now? How could someone who was your bridesmaid 20 years ago not even be someone who you are on talking terms with now? Or in Dad’s case, how could he not know where his own best friend from college lives? He studied with the man for five years!

Anyway, my point is (I know, I know, there is one), I don’t want to be one of those easily forgotten people,
so
important at the time,
so
special,
so
influential, and
so
treasured, yet years later just a vague face and a distant memory. I want us to be best friends forever, Alex.

I’m happy you’re happy, really I am, but I feel like I’ve been left behind.

Maybe our time has come and gone. Maybe your time is now meant to be spent with Bethany. And if that’s the case I won’t bother sending you this letter. And if I’m not sending this letter then what am I doing still writing it?

OK I’m going now and I’m ripping these muddled thoughts up.

Your friend,

Rosie

from:

Alex

to:

Rosie

subject:

Buttercup!!

Hey Buttercup, you OK? (Haven’t called you that for a
long
time!) I haven’t heard or seen you in a while. I’m sending you this e-mail because every time I call by your house, you’re either in the bath or not there! Should I begin to take this personally??! But knowing you, if you had a problem with me you wouldn’t be too shy to let me know all about it!

Anyway, once the summer is over we’ll see each other every day, we’ll be sick of the sight of each other then! I can’t believe this is our last year in school! It’s crazy! This time next year I’ll be studying medicine and you will be hotel manager woman extraordinaire! Things at work have been crazy.

Dad kind of gave me a promotion so I’ve more to do than just filing and 22

Cecelia Ahern

labeling! (I answer phones now too.) But I need the money and at least I get to see Bethany every day. How’s your job as chief dishwasher at The Dragon?

I can’t believe you turned down babysitting for that. You could have stayed in all night and watched TV instead of watching your hands turn to prunes while you scrape off egg noodles from a wok.

I really miss you Rosie, I miss all our chats and jokes, things aren’t the same without you! Mum was asking for you she said she wants you to call around to her. Oh and Sandy misses you too!

from:

Rosie

to:

Alex

subject:

Moonbeam!

It’s not because I hate Bethany that I’m not seeing much of you (although I do hate her), it’s just that I think Bethany dislikes me just a little. It could have something to do with the fact that a friend of hers told her what I wrote about her in that (not so) private instant messaging thingy in computer class last year . . . I don’t think she liked being called a slut, I don’t know why . . . some women are just funny like that. But I suppose you already know that she’d heard what I said that day. (Speaking of computer class, Mr. Simpson got married this summer, I’m gutted. I’ll never look at excel in the same way again.) Anyway it’s your birthday soon! You have finally reached the grand old age of 18! Want to go out and do some legal celebrating? (Well, legal for you anyway) Let me know.