Where the Heart is (Interracial with Baby) (BWWM) (8 page)

"I managed," Simon said softly.

"Yeah, we all know that," Jamie muttered under her breath.

Adelaide smiled at them both. "You know, I always did think that you two would end up together. I imagined us all sitting around the table like this but as a family. You never really gave anyone else a chance, so it made sense to think that you'd end up married."

"I always thought that, too," Matthew said.

"You guys are silly," Jamie replied, putting her glass down. "Just because we were inseparable as kids doesn't mean we have to be as adults. And I mean, look at how different we are now. Simon's a big city guy who's on his way to having a fancy title in front of his name, and I'm doing things here. Good things. I'm happy with what I've got."

It sounded weak to her own ears, and suddenly she needed some air. Or just. Not to be sitting there with them all looking at her. "Would you excuse me?" she asked with a forced laugh. "Mom's punch is working its way through me."

Without waiting for a response, she got up and made her way to the back of the house, practically flinging the door to the bathroom open and locking herself inside.

Not caring whether she wrinkled her dress or not, she slid down to the floor with her back against the cold porcelain of the bathtub. Her heart hurt, and she could tell from the stuffy feeling in her head and chest that she was going to cry.

She hated crying, and she especially hated crying over this, but what else was there. How could she sit there and listen to her mother and Simon's father go on and on about how they had been practically picking out wedding china for them when they were teenagers when there was no way that was ever going to
happen.

Simon didn't need her anymore. The six year old boy who had cried at the thought of being separated from her for a whole school day was gone, and in his place was a man who had gone seven years without speaking to her once.

Jamie didn't have to guess that she wouldn't really fit in with his new lifestyle, even if she somehow ended up moving to the city.

They were just too different now, weren't they?

Thinking anything else was just a recipe for heartbreak and she couldn't go through that again.

To her horror, she realized that the threat of tears had become a reality and she covered her face with her hands, sparing a thought to be glad that she hadn't put on any makeup so it wouldn't be running right now.

She'd have to explain why her eyes were red and puffy when she went back out there, but she'd think of something. Anything so that they didn't know that this still hurt as much as it did.

She was supposed to be over this already, not sitting in the bathroom of her mother's house crying on Christmas like she was eighteen years old all over again and she knew Simon wasn't coming home for the holidays.

But maybe she'd never stopped being that girl. Maybe she would always be that girl.

Jamie cried harder.

Simon wasn't stupid. It had been at least ten minutes since Jamie had gone to the bathroom, and she was either upset or throwing up from the sheer amount of punch that she'd had over the course of the meal.

It seemed like neither of their parents had noticed yet, both of them wrapped up in telling stories and making each other laugh, and Simon shook his head, getting to his feet unsteadily.

He wobbled a bit as he walked away from the table and then wrinkled his nose. Maybe he'd had a bit too much to drink as well, then.

Hm.

Either way, he needed to make sure that Jamie was alright. It didn't take a genius to see that the conversation they'd been having had upset her, and he couldn't say it hadn't made him a little upset, too.

The way their parents had just talked so casually about how they'd assumed that the two of them would be spending their lives together was insane, and it was definitely something he hadn't expected. But judging from the way the town had reacted to him being back and seeing the two of them out and about together, it was clear that other people felt the same way.

He didn't think Jamie felt that way, judging from the surprise that had been on her face, but it was clear that she had some kind of feelings regarding the whole thing.

The bathroom door was locked when he got there, but Simon had been to this house plenty of times when he was a kid, and he knew how to pick that lock already. He fished in his pocket for his wallet, and one credit card shimmy later, the door clicked open.

Jamie was sitting on the floor with her face in her hands, shoulders shaking, and Simon felt his heart sink. He had always hated seeing her cry.

She was one of the strongest people he knew most of the time, not showing any weakness to other people, but when she cried, she always looked small and fragile, and Simon rarely had any idea how to handle it.

"Hey," he said, stepping into the bathroom and closing the door behind him. It was chilly inside, and he knew Jamie had to be cold sitting on the tiled floor with her back to the bathtub. But she was clearly having bigger issues that just being cold at the moment, and so Simon squatted down next to her stroking her hair lightly. "What's up, huh?" he asked.

Her chuckle sounded watery and weak. "Oh, you know. Just sitting in my mother's bathroom, crying on Christmas like an idiot," she mumbled, not lifting her face.

"You're not an idiot. And if you think you're the only one crying on Christmas, I've got news for you. The holidays are the number one time for depressive episodes."

She snorted. "You really do know how to cheer a girl up, Simon Blake. Lovely bedside manner."

Simon rolled his eyes, but if she still had the means to be sarcastic at him, then she was probably going to be okay. "Shut up. You want to tell me what's wrong? Because I have a pretty good idea, but I don't want to start rambling off on it if that's not actually what's bothering you."

"It's just... I didn't know everyone expected us to get married like that," Jamie said finally. "I didn't know everyone thought we were supposed to be an item. We always said that we weren't going to date each other, remember?"

"Yeah, I remember." And he did. They'd had a very serious conversation about it. Jamie had always seemed to know that Simon wanted more than this town could offer him, so they'd said that they would just be friends who sometimes slept together because that was easier. So when he left finally, they wouldn't have to try to balance being friends long distance and being in a relationship, too.

And Simon had failed at the being friends part, so he could only imagine how terrible he would have been at the rest of it.

"Jamie," he said softly. "I know you think that..." No, wait. Telling her that she thought she wasn't good enough for him was not the way to go here. He sighed and tried it again. "Jamie, you could do anything you wanted, you know that, right? You could do anything and have anyone. Being with me would be like... settling for less. And I mean, maybe when we were sixteen the idea of us getting married would have been less ridiculous, but I think..."

"I know what you think," she said, looking up finally. Her eyes were red rimmed and puffy and her cheeks were wet. "You think that we're too different now, and you're right. We are. I never said I wanted to marry you, so don't come in here like you're trying to let me down easily."

Simon blinked. That hadn't been his intention, but he'd been making all the wrong moves lately. "Jamie, that's not... All I'm saying is that you won't be here forever. And when you get out and see stuff you'll see how awesome you are."

That sounded better to him, but the way Jamie narrowed her eyes made it clear that he was putting his foot in his mouth again.

"When I make it out of here, it'll only be because my mother is dead," she snapped. "We've been over this, Simon. I'm not here for my own good. I'm here for
hers.
"

God, he was just not doing well tonight at all. This was one of the reasons why he didn't drink all that often. At least not when other people were around for him to offend.

"I'm sorry," he said. "I know. I'm sorry. I'm such an idiot about this, and I keep saying stuff that's terrible, and I don't... Sometimes being around you is so easy. Sometimes it's effortless. Like it used to be. But sometimes it's the hardest thing because I don't know who we are to each other anymore, and I keep trying to fall back on the way we used to be, but that's not right because it doesn't always work right if we're different, and I just don't know what I'm doing."

Jamie blinked at him, and he realized that he'd said all that in a rush of breath. "I'm never drinking again," he groaned.

She giggled and leaned into him a bit. "You say that now, but I bet you're gonna drink on New Years and when you get back to your fancy apartment in the city, you'll drink your fancy wine coolers or whatever it is you fancy big city fellas drink when you need a pick me up."

Now Simon was giggling as he pushed at her shoulder. "You're ridiculous, you know that? C'mere." He pulled her closer to him, moving to sit down on the floor and shivering when the cold from the tiles seeped through his pants.

Jamie ended up in his lap, straddling him with her dress hiked up around her hips. Her arms went around his neck, and he didn't even have to say anything before she was kissing him, leaning in and claiming his mouth with hers.

Suddenly, it didn't matter that they were in her mother's bathroom and that both of their parents were sitting out in the living room chatting and laughing. All that mattered was that Jamie seemed to need him. She was kissing him hot and hard, leaning in and rubbing against him.

He didn't know what had come over her, and he didn't much care, not when the way she was moving had him going hard under her and he wanted nothing more than to peel that dress off of her and take everything she had to offer.

"Gonna have to be quiet," he murmured, laughing a little when she smiled at him.

"Yeah," she breathed back. "We could turn the shower on."

Simon smirked. "Or just get in the shower altogether."

Jamie's eyes danced wickedly, and even though they were still bloodshot and puffy from crying, she looked happier than she had before. "You think they'll notice?"

He shrugged. "Maybe. They apparently approve, though, so what's the point in not doing it?" It made sense in his alcohol soaked brain, so when Jamie got up and offered him her hand, he took it, letting her pull him to his feet.

They wobbled and ended up against the wall next to the shower, and Simon leaned in to kiss her again, pinning her in place while he practically devoured her with his lips.

He kissed a hot trail from her mouth to her neck, groaning at the taste of her skin.

He wanted her. There was no doubt about that. He wanted her moaning for him, telling him how good he made her feel, as if he could somehow make up for all the pain he had caused her in the past by giving her as much pleasure as possible.

It was an absurd thought, but he wanted try anyway.

Her hands were already moving to undo his belt and zipper, fingers slipping into his pants to stroke his growing hardness through the fabric of his boxers.

She kissed him harder, swallowing his moan and biting down on his lower lip. He didn't know why she was so eager, and he didn't much care. Pushing into her hand and getting his own hands involved, stroking and claiming, lifting the skirt of her dress up so he could get his fingers in her underwear.

Her gasp against his mouth was delicious, and he smiled, pressing his fingers right into that little bundle of sensitive nerves and stroking, feeling gratified by the surge of wetness between her legs.

"If we don't move this along, we're gonna end up finishing right here," she whispered, and Simon grinned at her.

"What if we finish right here and then in there, too."

Jamie rolled her eyes. "I don't think we have that kind of time, Simon. They're bound to notice what we're gone eventually, and I don't know about you, but I don't really want to explain to my mom what we were doing in here."

"Okay, good point. In, then." He leaned over and started the shower going, and they both paused to listen and see if they could hear anything from the other room. There were no immediate noises, so they kept moving, letting the water heat up while they stripped each other of their fancy clothes.

"You looked so good in that," Jamie murmured, putting his clothes on the counter so they wouldn't get wet.

"I was hoping you'd like it," Simon admitted. "I knew you were going to be stunning, and I had to keep up with you." He wrapped his arms around her waist and hauled her into the shower with him, laughing when she yelped softly at the hot water on her skin.

She was so beautiful like this, and he pressed her back against the warm tiles, bending to kiss her thoroughly.

Her fingers found his erection again, and she stroked with long, sure movements, matching the way he was moving his tongue in her mouth.

The sound of the shower drowned out their moans, thankfully, and by the time Simon was turning her around so that she could brace her hands on the wall, they were both breathing harder and clearly desperate for it.

"Don't move," he whispered against her ear, dipping his head to lick hot water from her shoulder and halfway down her spine.

Jamie arched and made a pleading noise, spreading her legs wider when he slipped fingers inside of her, working them and delighting in the breathless moans. "Simon, stop
teasing
," she groaned, wiggling a little.

He slapped her ass playfully. "What did I say about moving?"

Her eyes were even darker with the need she was clearly feeling. "Come
on
."

Simon couldn't ignore that. Before he had registered the decision to stop messing with her, he was pushing into that warm wetness, sliding inside and letting his fingers grip her hips hard.

The sight of her back bowing inwards as she pushed her hips out was enough to have him pushing in harder, making her gasp.

Water beaded on her dark skin, and Simon found himself wanting to lap up every drop with the flat of his tongue until she was begging for him. There'd be time for that later, though. In a place where their parents weren't just down the hall.

He had it on good authority that Jamie had a shower in her apartment, and they could do this there much easier.

It wasn't the drawn out experience that Simon had in his mind, but they didn't have time for that. Instead it was quick and dirty, skin slapping skin, harsh breathing and cries drowned out by the pounding water.

Jamie went deliciously tight around him when she came, and Simon wasn't far behind, pushing in as deep as he could and holding as the spasms of pleasure washed over him. They both heaved for breath, not moving until a particularly loud burst of laughter from the living room startled them and had them moving apart.

From there, it was just a matter of getting dry and getting redressed.

"I'll go back out first," Jamie said as she ran fingers through her hair, making a face in the mirror. She didn't look as rumpled or sad as she could have, and that was just going to have to do.

"Sounds good," Simon replied. "I'll follow in a minute or two. Maybe come out from the kitchen so it seems like we weren't in the same room. Maybe I'll pretend like I was on my phone."

Jamie giggled and leaned up to kiss his cheek. "You're so smart." She slipped out of the bathroom, and Simon listened to her footsteps as she walked down the hall. He could hear the murmur of voices as she talked to her mom and his dad, and he smiled, leaning against the door.

For the first time since he'd left and never looked back, this place was feeling like home. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that Adelaide's house had always been warmer and more homey than the house he'd grown up in, but he felt like he was getting a glimpse of what his life would have been like if he'd stayed here.

He and Jamie would probably have started dating, and even if his mother had still gone off the walls like she had while he was gone, they probably still would have had Christmases together like this.