Where the Lotus Flowers Grow (10 page)

Before he could answer, I ran back to the employee lodgings. The bubbles inside me grew with each step, making me feel as if I could float away. The package almost slipped out of my hands despite my tight grip. When I returned, I was sweaty and out of breath, hair plastered to my forehead and a smile too wide to hide any of my dirty thoughts. I slowed my steps to regain what little composure I could.

He stood next to the fountain.

Except he wasn’t alone.

I had seen a doll once, the kind with a small waist, perky smile, perkier breasts, and hair the color of sun. That’s what this girl resembled.

Dusty sang, “Take Another piece of My Heart.” How appropriate.

“Why are you here, Natalie?” he asked, his voice sharper than I’d ever heard it.

“I came to see you, silly. Is there any other reason to travel to this shithole?”

“My secretary told you I was busy, didn’t she?”

“Liam, sweetie, it’s your birthday. I wasn’t about to let you spend it alone. Now, let’s go to your room where I can properly give you your present.” Her hands settled on his waist, a position of familiarity and possession. All the sparking flutters coursing through me suddenly burned red hot, scorching me from the inside out.

The thud made both of them look in my direction.

Oh, dear Lord, I’d dropped the book.

“Mary,” he said, approaching me. I stepped back.

Her heels clicked in perfect rhythm right behind him. “Oh, good, a maid. I need water.”

I stood, frozen as a statue.

Liam and I stared at each other. The bubbles of anticipation inside of me popped…every single one. She snapped her fingers in front of my face. “Waaatttter.”

“Shut up, Natalie.” There was anger in his voice. Was it because I had ruined their moment?

She turned, her silky hair swinging in sync. “What? Isn’t that her job?”

“She’s not working right now.”

“Well, then, she can tell someone who is working.” She turned back to me. “Bottled. You understand me.” She mimicked an unscrewing cap motion. “And cold but no ice. God knows what bacteria lurks in the ice.”

I nodded and turned away.

“And make sure it’s American or Swedish. None of this foreign shit,” she screamed after me. I wanted to tell her that in India, American and Swedish waters
were
foreign.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” I heard him say.

This time I ran faster. I had to get
memsahib
her damn water.

Just as I rounded to the servant’s entrance, I heard his footsteps behind me.

The kitchen, cleaned and shut down for the night, was eerily quiet.
Don’t cry…be strong.

“Mary…”

“Leave me alone.”

“You got me a book,” he said, revealing the ripped paper. “I’ve never read Elizabeth Gaskell. I’m sure I’ll love it. You wrote note cards, too. I can’t wait to read those.”

Why did he keep talking?

“Shut up.” I thought I’d said it under my breath, but his reaction made it clear he’d heard me.

“Shut up?”

“Yes.”

“It’s not what it looks like.”

I opened the fridge, grateful the door provided a barrier between us, except he was so tall, his head peered over the top.

“Really? Maybe I’m just an ignorant maid…”

“There is nothing ignorant about you. Don’t insult yourself that way again.”

I let the cool fridge air wash over me. “All right then, it looks to me as if some girl is visiting you on your birthday to help you celebrate in a way you’re accustomed to. Am I right, sir?”

“She isn’t my girlfriend. She isn’t anything to me.” His deep voice echoed through the room.

“Shhh, someone will hear.”

“Then talk to me,” he said, his voice much lower.

“Unless you’d care for more towels, there is nothing for us to discuss, sir.”

He dragged his hand through his hair. “You call me ‘sir’ with that inflection, and it’s not pleasing at all.”

I pulled out a bottle and shoved it at him. “Is this American? Swedish? I don’t know.”

He slammed it on the counter. “Forget the damn water. Please just listen to me. I asked her not to come. We’re not together like that. There is no commitment between us.”

“It’s none of my concern.”

He looked surprised, his shoulders slumping. “I can live with your anger, but not your indifference. Indifference implies you don’t care. I know you do.”

Defeat crept into me. I hated myself for it, for allowing myself feelings I had no right to. “What do you want from me?”

He swallowed. “I care about you, too. I never wanted to hurt you in any way.”

“Save your pity for someone who needs it.”

“Pity? This isn’t pity.”

“I’m very grateful to her. She stopped me from making a horrible mistake.” My statements were low whispers, but he flinched as if I yelled. I refused to read into his reactions. It was good for me to see this. To realize my place in the world, and more importantly, my place in his world. If he wanted a woman like that, I would never be right for him. If he wanted a woman like that, I didn’t want to be right for him either. How silly I’d been to think we could have one night together without any repercussions.

“You really think we’re a mistake? That’s your opinion, Miss Costa, but I need you to listen to me.” He put his hand on my arm to still me. “I have to tell you something.”

“What?”

“The hotel. We’re selling it. It’s like you said. It’s not the right fit for this area. It’ll happen quickly. You need to look for another job. I can help you if you’ll allow it.”

I moved out of his grip. “I don’t want a damn thing from you.”

He backed away from me. “Fair enough. I ask you keep this between us. People tend to jump a sinking ship.”

“Why are you telling me then?”

“Because I want you to have a life raft.”

I tasted the bitter seeds of reality. He felt sorry for me. If seeing the woman hadn’t been enough, he’d salted the wounds.

“Try to understand—”

“No sir, you try to understand.” I jabbed my finger into his chest. He moved back with every poke. “I can take care of myself. I always have. I don’t need anyone looking out for me. Especially you.”

“Everyone needs someone to look out for them. You’re an exceptional girl, but you’re not an exception.”

“Let me make it clear. My life, my choices, are none of your business. You are management. I am a maid. There are no other distinctions. This is some type of power trip for you, and I’m done with it. I’m done hiding behind closed doors so I’m not seen with you. Stop harassing me, Mr. Montgomery.” I knew each sentence was a sharp slap, but my anger had formed into dark storm clouds bursting with chaotic lightning. “Do you pick a maid at all your hotels to fuck, or am I just special?”

A vein pulsed in his neck. The knuckles on his hands turned white as he gripped the edge of the countertop. His eyes turned the darkest shade I’d ever seen.

“You really think that’s the kind of man I am? Harassment?” He put his hands up in surrender. “First of all, fuck you, Mary Costa. Secondly, you’re making yourself out to be some naïve, gullible girl. We both know that’s the furthest thing from the truth. You had a choice in everything. Thirdly, I told you things I’ve never told anyone. I had no idea what I wanted from you except, when I’m around you, I feel more like myself than I ever have. I’m sorry about our goddamn circumstances, but I am not embarrassed to be with you. Closed doors? I wanted you sitting beside me tonight, not in a fucking garden, not sneaking around like teenagers, and definitely not serving me. You cloak yourself to everyone. I felt honored you let me in. But you know what, Lotus Girl? You’re right about one thing—our relationship is a power struggle, but it’s you that has all the power over me. Or at least you did.” He took the water bottle from the counter. “I’ll see she gets this. Good night, Miss Costa.”

He walked out, leaving me reeling, the emotion swelling inside of me until I gripped the counters. If you measured our relationship in typical standards of time, we hardly knew each other. Yet, he knew me better than anyone else.

The tears came then, fat, hot drops running down my cheeks.

I ran back to my room. I hid my sobs when the last of the crew came to bed. Six of us shared a room, sleeping on thin mattresses on the floor. I lifted the cover over my head and took out Liam’s sketch of me. I’d stared at it so much, I could trace the lines and curves with my fingers. I struggled not to rip it into shreds.

At least tonight, I didn’t have to dart the questions of where I’d gone. Everyone was jabbering away about the
gora’s
girlfriend. Their conversations echoed against the dark night, drowning out the cricket’s chirps.

“Last-minute checkout. The woman barely checked in when Mr. Montgomery said she was leaving. My God, the lady was crazy.”

“Crazy…did you see her luggage? You’d think she was moving here.”

“The way she talked about India? I doubt it. I’ve never seen a white person so angry. Her face turned red as a chili pepper.”

“She was so beautiful. Why would he turn her away? She looked like a princess.”

“But she acted like a frog.”

Liam had sent her away? When all the chatter had finally died, I thought about everything he’d said without the storming clouds of fear, insecurity, and jealousy.

She was a girl he shared a bed with in his life in New York…no commitments, no ties. Hadn’t I done the very same thing with Kishore? Why had I imposed a double standard between us?

I had made my own choices when it came to Liam Montgomery. There was no force on his part. I saw him for the man he was—kind, generous, passionate. He saw me, too, even through the veils of deceit I’d sewn together. I wasn’t foolish enough to believe we could survive anything outside our Rajasthani bubble, but why couldn’t we share in a little bit of happiness?

A final tear rolled down my face before I shut my eyes to the world.

Liam

She had painted me with vicious strokes, like some fucking villain twirling his mustache, waiting to take her chastity. God, didn’t she know? I wanted to be her hero. But she didn’t want one. She thought I pitied her? She couldn’t be more wrong. I admired her, respected her, fucking revered her.

Now, I would forget her. Maybe we shared some intimate things, but the reality was we’d only known each other for a few days. We came from opposite sides of the globe. We were forcing odd-shaped puzzle pieces to snap together where they didn’t belong. I was leaving, and she was rooted like that goddamn lotus flower of hers. So why did I even care?

The realization came to me when I finally slammed the book shut at five in the morning.

In the cards, she’d written all kinds of messages about the first time she’d read the book, what her favorite parts were, and a few random sentences. Those were my favorite.

My favorite season is right after the Monsoons. You can hear the sound of earth giving way to new growth. I close my eyes and inhale it all.

Guess who Elizabeth Gaskell’s editor was for this book???? Guess Guess!!! Okay, I’ll tell you. It was none other than our friend, Charles Dickens. PS—they did not get along.

Although I’m partial to Highlanders, this is one of my favorite romances. It’s all about embracing differences and finding similarities where you least suspect. Sound familiar?

Yeah, Mary, it sure as hell did.

I had not slept. I had battled an epic fight with Natalie, which set the steady turns of the gossip cogs into high speed. And worst of all, I’d really fucked up on so many levels.

My room had become suffocating. I needed air to get away from all the things that reminded me of her. So I decided to spend my last day sightseeing around Jaipur. Besides, I needed to avoid her.

I wondered if I was seeing a mirage when a girl in blue jeans and a yellow embroidered shirt stood right outside the hotel gates. I’d never seen her in western clothes, but it suited her. I honestly never cared for the sari. Wait, that wasn’t true. I thought it was sexy as hell, but she wasn’t comfortable in it. I walked past her.

She followed me, her flip flops clopping against the narrow cobblestone path.

Finally, I turned. “What do you want?”

“You shouldn’t be traveling alone. Why didn’t you bring someone with you?”

“You think you’re the only one who can take care of yourself?”

“I can go with you. You’re shopping, right? I can translate for you. They’ll take advantage of you otherwise.”

“I don’t want you. Is that clear enough?”

Her lips trembled, and I wanted to kick myself. I’d really fucked this up. She was right. We were wrong. I’d just proven it once again.

She turned and walked the opposite way.

I took a deep breath and moved on. Street children surrounded me. Some of them were missing limbs. But I had this under control. I could keep walking and not give them money. I’d been warned not to since this was a cottage industry here, and it would only support their current situation. Sure, I could do that. It didn’t matter that they were starving and some spoke English while others just pointed to their mouths with their outstretched hands. The universal sign for “I’m starving, you prick.” Didn’t matter that they were following me like the fucking Pied Piper.

I stopped at a chai shop and did the quick math, depositing a sum large enough to feed an army. I pointed to the bread and the tea. Then I gestured to the crowd of kids. I knew the guy would keep a good chunk, but I told him in my own broken way I’d be back to check.

I moved on. Mary was right about Jaipur. The city was a cocoon of pink under the bluest sky, with fiery reds and oranges and every other color I ever imagined. I found the park Prabhat had told me about. He, too, had thought I needed a chaperone. I probably did, but this was just a quick visit. Hell, if Siddhartha could journey six years in the forest living like a caveman, then surely, I could make the few-mile stretch down the market street. I stopped to purchase two bottles of water, placing one in my backpack. Settling on the park bench, I took out the yellow legal pad and pencil. I gulped down the water and tried to capture the architecture of the building across from me. But I couldn’t get it right. My thoughts kept returning to Mary.