Whiskey Lullaby (7 page)

Chapter 12

Julie

I’m at work and notice Bec eyeing me, but she doesn’t look smug, she looks worried. I pop a few of the pills the doctor gave me yesterday for my “pregnancy” sickness. It’s not just limited to mornings; it’s all the damn time. I lay my head on the desk for a minute, but the feeling doesn’t pass.

Suddenly
, the smell of Mr. Friedman’s catfish lunch hits me. My stomach starts to roll, and I know what is coming. I’m up and sprinting to the bathroom and throw up everything I’ve eaten today. God, will this never end? I was hardly ever sick when I was pregnant with Jenny, so I hope this passes soon. I flush the toilet and go to wash my face. Bec is standing in front of the sink. She gives me a hesitant smile.   

“Are you ok
ay?”

“Yeah I’m fine
,” I say as I throw water on my face.

“Does Jase know you’re pregnant?”

I freeze. “No, he doesn’t, and I don’t know how or when I want to tell him yet,” I say as I dry my hands and face. “Why are you suddenly being so nice to me?”

“I was hoping we could talk about before. About what happened?”
she says timidly.

“What could you possibly have to say to me? I
had sex with your boyfriend, and I liked it? Oh, and I have been chasing after him ever since you left. Hell, even now, I hear you and that bitch Brittany have been after him still.”

Bec puts her head down. “It wasn’t supposed to happen. I was going through…
”  She stops for a second and shakes her head. “He’d just lost his mom. We were drunk and it just happened. I’m sorry,” she says and a tear runs down her face.

“Ok
ay, so the one time, what about for all the others? You two apparently cheated a few more times behind my back. What about then?”

“
There is something I need to tell you about that. But first, I need you to understand how sorry I am. I didn’t really mean for it to go that far, but I started to fall in love with him. At least, I thought I did. We’d talk about our issues, and then it would just go from there. I know he never felt that way for me, but I really thought I loved him. I’m so sorry, Julie.” She pauses and takes a deep breath. “That day you caught us, I was hoping you would. I planned the whole thing. You told me you were surprising him at work for his birthday, so I thought I’d get there first so you could finally see.”

“I’m not listening to anymore of this
,” I say and try to walk around her. 

“Please, you were my best friend.”

Her words push me over the edge. I slap her across the face. “Best friend? I was your
best friend
, and
you
did this to
me
?” I shake my head at her. “You were never my friend, Bec.” I don’t give her a chance to respond. She can kiss my ass and so can Jase. I walk out of the bathroom to get back to work.

******

Jase

I’m walking into Friedman Law offices to sign the visitation paperwork. I can’t believe it’s come to this.
I wanted to work this shit out between us. I’ve tried to call Julie a hundred times, but she won’t even answer the damn phone. I figured she’d soften up after a few days, but it’s getting worse. I even have to text her when I want to see Jenny.

She didn’t even bring Jenny to Pop’s this weekend; Bethany did. Jenny was kind of quiet too. I asked her what
’s wrong, and she said that her Momma was sick. I wanted to go check on Julie, but I knew she wouldn’t want that, so I spent the whole weekend worrying about her. 

The sound of someone
being sick pulls me away from my thoughts. I hear talking, and I am pretty sure its Bec and Julie. Bec better not be fucking with her again. I’m going to put a stop to this shit now! Their voices carry through the door. 

“Does Jase know you’re pregnant?” 

“No, he doesn’t, and I don’t know how or when I want to tell him yet.”

Julie’s pregnant? She’s pregnant and sick, and she didn’t tell me
, again. I try to focus on what they are saying, but my mind keeps going to the image of Julie with my baby growing inside her. 

The sound of the door opening gets my attention. I look up and Julie is standing there with her mouth hanging open. 

I step forward. “
Were you going to tell me this time or run off like a fucking bitch again?”

“It’s really none of your business
,” Julie says not looking at me, trying to walk by.

I grab onto her arm and swing her around to look at me. “Not my business? You ran away nine years ago, kept my daughter from me, and you’re saying this time, it’s not my
fucking business?”

“Jase, don’t. Not here
, okay?” she says quietly.

“Why did you keep Jenny away from me?” I demand.

“You hurt me, Jase. When I told everyone I was pregnant, they told me not to tell you. They said you weren’t in a good place. Pop and your brothers came out every few months to visit. I kept asking if it was time to tell you, but they said you weren’t ready.” Hearing that my own father and brothers visited my daughter all these years and never told me has me wanting to break their necks.

“I’m not signing visitation papers. You can stick them up your ass. I’ll see my daughter whenever the
hell I want,” I say to her and walk out the building.

Chapter 13

Jase

I go home instead of going back to work. I just can’t deal with everyone’s shit today, and I can’t stop thinking about finding out Julie is pregnant. She wasn’t going to tell me. Was she going to try to say it was someone else’s? No, she wouldn’t do that, but she would run away. I am not going to let that happen again.

I walk into my apartment and throw
my keys across the room. They hit the picture of Julie and me that’s hanging on the wall. It falls and the glass breaks. Shit! I walk over and pick it up. I look at it and remember the day it was taken. We had just moved in together. We were so fucking happy. Why did I have to screw up so badly? 

But I
am not the only one who has made mistakes. Yes, I cheated on her. I get it; I really do. I hurt her, but do I really deserve to lose my children because of it? I sit on my couch itching to grab the bottle of whiskey, but I don’t. I’m supposed to pick up Jenny tonight, and I would never drink with my daughter around.

I know it makes me look like a coward, but I’m still
so fucking pissed at Julie that I can’t even go to her house. I end up calling Matty and ask him to go and pick up Jenny for me. I know if I go over there, that I will say something shitty and end up hating myself for it later on. I don’t want to do that, because I
am
going to have Julie back someday. It just doesn’t look like it will be any day soon.

******

Julie

Jase leaves and I feel sick all over again. Bec is still in the bathroom when I rush back in to empty my stomach. She hands me some paper towels quietly. “For what it’s worth, I really am sorry
, Julie,” she says. I look over at her and she’s crying.

“Why though
, Bec? You were my best friend. Why did you have to do that to me?”

“I can’t explain it. I never wanted to hurt you.”

“Then why the bitch act when I came back?” I say, not believing she’s sincere.

“Let’s just say,
Brittany rubs off on a person,” she says shaking her head.

I stand up
, flush the toilet, head over to the sink and finish cleaning up again. “How could you become friends with her anyway? You’ve hated her as much as Kristen and I ever did.”

“After I
screwed everything up with you two, I was alone. I needed a friend, and she was there. Two messed up souls, we just clicked. Although, half the time, I still hate her.”

I just shake my head. I want so badly to reach over to Bec and hug her
, but I’m still hurt by what she did. “I have to get back to work,” I say as I walk out.

The day ends and I head home. A few minutes later
, Matty shows up. “Hey, what are you doing here?” I ask him.

Matty looks
uncomfortable. “Um, Jase was hoping I could pick up Jenny and bring her over to him for a bit.”

“Oh, um, yeah, ok
ay.” I yell out for Jenny and tell her to get ready to go her to Daddy’s. I then lead Matty to the kitchen and grab him a glass of tea. We both sit down at the table.  He’s not talking and I am starting to get uncomfortable. I can tell that Jase told him what happened, and he’s upset with me. “Just lay it on me.”

He looks at me, and I can see pain in his eyes. “Please tell me that you weren’t going to run away this time.”

“No!” I say through clenched teeth. 

“Then, why didn’t you tell him?”

I’m saved from answering Matty’s question by Jenny coming into the room. She‘s excited to see her Daddy. She has Matty out the door before I even get a chance to say goodbye.

“Make sure to remind
your daddy about your birthday party this weekend,” I holler out the door. I watch them until the truck is out of sight, then I head to the living room and lay on the couch. I start to think about all the things that I should have said to Jase, but I am so tired that within minutes, I am out.  

Chapter 14

Jase

‘I’m here!” Jenny shouts as she runs through the door. She comes right to me and throws herself in my arms. I hold her close and instantly feel better. Having her here is just what I need. Matty comes in the door a minute later. He’s carrying a pizza in one hand and some Disney DVDs in the other. 

“You
r daughter made me stop off to get pizza and hit the Red Box,” he says as he places the pizza box on the table. “I didn’t mind stopping to get this stuff, but I am not going to watch
Sharpay's Fabulous Adventure
, so I’m out of here.”

I laugh and nod my head. I understand completely. I wouldn’t watch this shit either if it wasn’t for Jenny
, but I’ll do anything to make her happy. If she wants to watch crappy movies, we will watch crappy movies. 

After Matty
leaves, I grab us a couple of sodas and paper plates. Then, Sweet Pea and me veg out in front of the TV. We are about halfway through the first movie when Jenny turns to me. “Why is Momma mad at you? Did you kiss another girl again?”

I just stare at her for minute. Fuck, it
’s hard being a parent. “It’s complicated, and it’s kind of personal. Just between me and your momma.”

“That’s what Momma said. Not the personal stuff, but that it
’s complicated. I think being a grown up is stinky. Everything is complicated.” She stops and looks at me. “I don’t know why you just don’t write her a note and ask if she likes you. That’s what Logan did to me yesterday.”

Oh
, hell no! “Some boy’s writing you notes?”

“Logan writes me a note almost every day
, but yesterday, he asked if I liked him. He wants to know if I want him for a boyfriend, but I don’t. All the girls give their boyfriends their cookie at lunch. No one’s getting my cookie,” she says, stuffing another bite of pizza in her mouth.