Whiskey Lullaby (8 page)

Angie looks at Kristen and shakes her head. "Who cares about little Miss Bethany being drunk? I want to talk about
Julie being pregnant," she finishes, staring straight at me. 

"It was an accident. I was taking birth control, but I missed a few pills when I was in the hospital. The doctor said that it can take up to
two cycles for the pills to be effective after missing some," I say and add a shrug. 

Kristen snorts. "What? Your panties accidentally fell off
? Then you accidentally landed on Jase's dick?"

"Watch your mouth
," Angie says as she reaches over and smacks Kristen in the back of the head. "Thank our sweet Lord that Jase is the dad."

"What?" Kristen and I ask at the same time.
I didn’t even think about that. Could Dean be the father? He did rape me the night he put me in the hospital. He always did after a beating.  He said that it wasn’t rape though; he was my husband, and my body was his. I can feel the bile rise to back of my throat, just thinking of all the times he forced himself onto my abused body.  Shit. There’s a chance the baby is his. How could I have not considered this before?

"Pinch poke, you owe each other a coke
," Bethany says with another giggle. 

"Would you shut your drunk ass up?" Kristen says and runs to the other side of the room before Angie can hit her again.

Angie blows out a frustrated breath. "Look at the way Jase treats Jenny. Even though we all doubted him, he
is
an amazing father. I'm glad that this new baby will have him as his or her Daddy."

Everyone is quiet for a moment. Bethany
then says the first intelligent thing that has come out of her mouth since she started drinking. "I'm just ecstatic that it isn't Dean's."

When the words come out of her mouth, I don’t say a word. I
look down, slump onto the chair, putting my head into my hands.

“It isn’t Dean’s
is it?” Aunt Angie asks.

“I don’t think so, but there is a possibility
,” I say quietly.

Kristen comes over to me and wraps me in her arms. “Have you had an ultra sound yet to determine your dates?”

“No, I have my first one Monday.”

“Then
there’s no point in worrying about it just yet. We’ll worry when the time comes,” she says and hugs me a little tighter. 

The conversation dies down, but I continue to think about Aunt Angie and Bethany's words. The
y’re right, and I know what I need to do.
I haven’t talked to Jase since he showed up at the office over a month ago. I didn’t mean for him to find out like that.
It's time I talk to Jase.  It's time to apologize.

******

Uncle Mack showed up with Jenny thirty minutes ago. Bethany was right; Jenny loved all the decorations. She squealed and jumped up and down when she saw everything. She completely ignored her presents and ran right for the princess crown centerpiece. I tried to explain that it was just another decoration and that she was supposed to wear the paper party hats, but she refused. So now, she is wearing her crown and her friends are wearing the party hats. 

Jenny keeps looking around, and she looks a little sad. I know she is watching for Jase. I'm not sure where he is, but I'm going to be pissed if he doesn't show up. I wait another few minutes and grab my phone
. I'm about to call him when the door opens and Jase walks in. He's carrying two extra full gift bags.

"Daddy!" Jenny screams and runs right to him. She wraps herself around his legs
, and Jase sits the bags down to pick her up.  

"You're late. Where were
you?" she asks. 

"I'm sorry, Sweet Pea. I had a flat tire. I tried to call, but no one answered." I look down at my phone, and there
are three missed calls from Jase. I forgot that I turned the ringer off after Dean’s last call. He didn’t say anything again, but I still know it was him. 

The party moves
to the backyard. Pop rented Jenny one of those big bouncy castles. She and all her friends are having a great time, bouncing away. Everyone seems to be having fun, so I decide to try to talk to Jase. I walk over to him and tap him on the arm. "Can I talk to you for a minute?"

He looks toward Jenny then back at me. He nods his head and I lead him to my bedroom. As soon as we walk through the door, he crosses his arms and looks at me. "Why didn't you tell me?"

I look at the floor, too nervous to look in his eyes. "I had only known for about a week. I hadn't told anyone but Bethany. I only told her because I needed someone to buy the pregnancy test." I take a deep breath and continue. "I was still trying to wrap my head around it. I was scared. But I was going to tell you. I just wasn't ready."

"Are you sure you weren’t
planning on running again? Maybe you are thinking about keeping this one to yourself too?"

His words feel like a slap. I look up at him. He
’s smiling at me in a way that says he knows that he’s being an ass. "No! It never even crossed my mind."

He walks over to the window and looks out at Jenny and her friends playing. "Every time I think about the years I've missed with her, I want to hate you." He's silent for a moment, then turns to look at me.  "Why the fuck can't I hate you?"

I shake my head sadly. "I don't know. Why can't I hate you?"

We stand there silently for a moment, looking at each other. "I love you, Julie
, but this shit has to stop. We have to figure out how to get past it. Jenny deserves to have parents that are not at each other’s throats all the time. I want to be with you, but you need to decide what you want."

I can't look at him
anymore, so I look down. But I do nod in agreement.

He walks past me, but stops when he reaches the door. "I'll work on my shit. You do the same. Let me know when you want to talk again."

“Wait,” I whisper. “I need to tell you something.”

He turns around and crosses his arms again. He lifts his chin for me to go on, but I’m not sure how to tell him. I finally take a deep breath and just say it.  “Dean raped me
right before he put me in the hospital. There’s a slim chance this baby could be his. I doubt it because I took birth control the entire time we were together, but I can’t be sure because I haven’t had a period since before he beat me the last time. I’m having an ultrasound Monday, and I’ll know for sure then.”

Jase doesn’t even give me a chance to finish, before he races past me to the bathroom. I can hear him throwing up, and I start to cry. I crawl
into the bed and pull my legs up to my stomach. I am still lying here when Jase comes back into the room. He sits on the bed and lays his hand on my hip. 

“This is my baby. I don’t give a fuck who fathered it. I am going to be its Daddy.” He leans down and places a soft kiss on my forehead then gets up and leaves the room.   

*****

Jase

Julie hasn’t come back down to the party, but Jenny is too busy with her friends to even notice. Kristen, Bethany and Angie keep going upstairs to check on her. All three women look concerned. I want to ask if Julie’s okay, but I don’t have the balls to. I’m afraid they may mention that son of a bitch’s name, and I can’t think about him right now. I’m too fucking angry. 

Parents start showing up and the party starts to die down. I help clean up
, and then I climb into the bouncy castle where Jenny is still playing. But she’s not playing anymore. She is curled in a little ball in the corner, sound asleep. I make my way to her and pick her up. Slowly, I crawl out and take her to her room.  As soon as I lay her down, she opens her eyes. “This was my best birthday ever.”

“I’m glad
, Sweet Pea.”

“It was so good,
‘cause you were here. You are the best Daddy in the whole world.”  She’s out as soon as the last word leaves her mouth. I bend down and give her a kiss on the cheek then leave the room.  As I step out in the hallway, I see Kristen and Matty standing down the hall. I know that they are waiting for me.

“What?” I ask as soon as I reach them. 

Kristen pulls me to her and gives me a hug. “I’m so sorry, Jase. I’m sorry for everything. She wanted to tell you as soon as she found out that she was pregnant with Jenny, but I talked her out of it.”

“It wasn’t just you. It was all of us
,” Matty says, pulling Kristen from me to him. He wraps his arms around her. “We all should have just stayed out of it.”

“No, you don’t understand. Julie didn’t want to even go out with Dean. I forced her to. I wouldn’t leave her alone about it. Then when he asked her to marry him, she said no. She told me she couldn’t love anyone but Jase. I kept on until she said yes
,” she says and starts to cry. 

“This is no one’s fault but my brother
’s,” Bethany says as she walks around the corner.  “I have been blaming myself for his actions for years, but it doesn’t do any good. All we can do now is pray that the baby isn’t his.”

“It’s not
,” I say firmly. Everyone looks at me with questions in their eyes. “If someone says any different, I will kick their ass.” I walk away without giving anyone a chance to respond.  I drive straight to Pop’s. 

As soon as I walk in, he hands me a beer. “Tell me what in the hell is going on.”

We sit at the kitchen table and I tell him about the baby and about what Dean did to Julie. I still cannot get the image of him raping her from my head.  “What am I going to do if the baby’s his?”

Pop stands up and places his hand on my shoulder.  “We’ll kill him. Then we’
ll bury him so deep, that no one will ever find him.”

I look into Pop
’s eyes; they are filled with determination. I swallow hard and nod my head in agreement. I’ve never thought about killing someone before, but if there’s ever a man that deserves to be dead, it’s this bastard. Pop and I don’t talk anymore. He finishes his beer and heads to bed. I go to my old room and crawl into the bed that I slept in as a child. I just don’t want to go home to my lonely apartment tonight.

Chapter 16

Julie

I’m at the doctor’s office waiting to get called in for my ultra sound. Bethany and Kristen wanted to come.  Even Jase left a message saying he would be here if I needed him, but I felt like I had to do this on my own.  I’m so nervous that I can hardly sit still. What if this baby is Dean’s? What will I do then? I’ll have to run, but what about Jase? He’s a good daddy to Jenny. I can’t take her away from him. Can I?

I finally get called back. I’m led to one of the exam rooms. I just finish tying on the paper gown when the doctor walks in. “I was told
that you requested that I do your ultra sound, instead of the technician.”

I do my best to explain the situation without crying. He walks over to me and places a hand on my shoulder. “If you can, tell me the exact date you were assaulted and the date that you had consensual sex.”

“I was admitted to the hospital on July 12
th
. He raped me the night before, or it could have been really early that morning. I don’t really remember much of it.”  I take a second to think. “I was with Jase on August the 9
th
.”

The doctor nods and walks over to the ultra sound machine. “That
’s four weeks. There shouldn’t be any trouble determining the father.”

He places the probe on my stomach and starts to move it around. “See that right there
?” the doctor says as he points to the screen. It looks like a blinking blob to me. “That’s your baby.” He starts pushing buttons and numbers appear on the screen. He pulls the probe from my stomach and pushes a few more buttons. He then hands me a CD. “Those are pictures of your baby. Next time, you will have a 3D ultra sound; it’s kind of like a little movie. It will almost be like you’re looking right at your baby.”

The only thing I care about right now is whether this is Dean’s baby or not. “The father?”

“You are right at sixteen weeks. There is no way that this baby was conceived in July. This is definitely not your ex-husband’s child. I was almost certain of that before we even started, but I did not want to say anything until I knew for sure. After you were brought to the hospital, you would have been given the morning after pill. It is standard procedure after a sexual assault.”

I am so relieved that I start to cry. The doctor continues to talk for a bit. When he finally leaves the room, I rush to get dressed. I quickly pay and make my way to my car. As soon as
I’m behind the wheel, I call Jase. 

“Julie.” The sound of his voice send
s me into tears again. “Don’t cry baby. Everything will be okay. I already told you that it didn’t matter to me. I’ll take care of the baby either way. That bastard will never lay his hands on it.”

I start to laugh through my tears. “It’s not his. The baby’s yours.”

Jase is quiet for a moment then I hear a whispered. “Thank God.”

I hear my phone beep and see
Kristen’s number pop up. “Kristen is calling. I need to answer it. I was supposed to call her as soon as I got done, but I wanted to call you first.”

I click over without giving him time to respond. I wanted him to be the first to know, but I
’m not ready to talk about us yet. 

“What happened?” Kristen asks without giving me time to say hello. I can hear Bethany in the background. 

“Jase is the daddy!” I shout with happiness. 

She screams with joy. Then she tells Bethany. I
can hear Bethany shouting in the background. They are both talking and I can’t understand a thing that is being said, so I hang up the phone without saying goodbye. I lay my head on the steering wheel and let out the breath that I have been holding since Jenny’s party. 

*****

Jase

The baby is mine! “Fuck
, yeah!” I shout out. All the guys in the garage turn to look over at me. Pop comes out of the office and asks what’s going on.

“The baby
’s mine!” I shout! I’m so fucking happy. I would have been the father to that child either way, but knowing the child is mine has me so beyond relief.

“I knew it would work out
, son,” Pop says. He walks back into his office and brings out a few beers. “Let’s celebrate the news, boy!” he says, passing me one.

Pop and I are having a few drinks and talking about Jenny, Julie and the baby when we hear the sound of
someone walking into the garage. We look over and there is Bec.

“You better get rid of her
, Jase. None of us are going to turn a blind eye to that shit again,” Pop says storming off.

I don’t move
; I let Bec come to me. “Why are you here?” I ask.

“I thought we could talk?” she says, making it sound like a question.

“Talk about what? It’s partly your fault why Julie left in the first fucking place. That shit’s not happening again.”

Bec puts her head down. “I’m sorry
. I’ll just leave,” she says and walks out without another word. She looks totally dejected and lost. Fuck. Another time and I would have been there for her as her friend, but now?  Shit, no fucking way. I’ve always had female friends before, but after this mess, I’ve decided to just stay clear of them all. It’s not that I’m worried my dick won’t stay in my pants, but I want Julie to know she can trust me. I push Bec from my mind.

Pop walks back in as soon as she leaves.
“What in the hell was she doing here?”

“I don’t know. She said she wanted to talk, but I ain’t going there again.”

Pop stares at the door for a second. “I always liked that girl. She was such a sweet kid, but her parents are two of the biggest douche bags I’ve ever met. Did you know that her parents didn’t want her around Julie?”

“What? Why the fuck not?” I cannot imagine any parent having an issue with Julie being around their kid. She was
a fucking perfect kid. She was smart as hell, always on the honor roll. She didn’t drink and run around like all the rest of us did. Hell, she didn’t even date anyone until me.

“I know you probably don’t remember, you were just a kid yourself, but Kristen and Bec have been friends since they first started school. They were always running back and forth between
each other’s houses, but when Julie and Brandon moved in, Bec quit coming over. Kristen wasn’t invited to her house anymore either. Finally, Angie went over to talk to Bec’s mom. The old bitch said that they did not want their daughter associating with orphans,” Pop finishes with the shake of his head.

“Shit! That’s just wrong. Julie and Brandon couldn’t help what their mom did
.  Hell, my woman never did anything bad back then,” I say, defending Julie. 

“No, they couldn’t
, but Bec’s parents were always uptight like that. They had to have complete control of her life. I felt sorry for that little girl. As much as I hate what happened between you two, I feel sorry her still,” Pop says, then smiles toward me.  “Your woman?”

I nod. “Julie has always been my woman.”

“Yeah, I guess she has been,” he agrees, and then walks into his office. 

I hate that Bec had a fucked up life, but I can’t let that worry me now. Julie has to come first!