Whiskey Lullaby (9 page)

Chapter 17

Julie

I drop Jenny off at Pop’s on my way to work. He says Jase will bring her back home after supper. Maybe we can talk then. He hasn't spoken to me since I called to tell him about the baby a month ago. I know he has been waiting on me to decide what I want, but I still haven't figured out what I should say. I have to do something, though because Jenny’s starting to get all quiet again.

I'm only at my desk a few moments when my phone rings.
"Julie, you have a call on line one. He wouldn’t give me his name, but he said it was a personal matter," says Bec politely.   

I'm not sure what's up with that girl, but she
’s been sugary sweet since she found out I’m pregnant. As far as I'm concerned, she can go back to being a bitch. I'll be polite at work, but that's it. I know she apologized, but I’m not ready to be her friend again.

"Julie Walker, how may I help you?" I say in the phone.

"This has gone on long enough. It's time for you to come home. If you're not here in two weeks, I'll come get you." The sound of Dean’s voice sends a chill down my spine. He’s been calling a lot, but this is the first time that he’s spoke to me. 

He's not supposed to contact me. It was agreed upon in the divorce. He keeps talking, but I don't hear a thing. My mind is filled with images of Dean beating me. My stomach starts to roll, and I jump up to make a mad dash for the bathroom. As soon as I stand up, my ears start to ring and my heart starts to race. I try to take a step, but blackness takes over.

I wake up lying on the couch in Mr. Friedman’s office. Bec is wiping my face with a damp cloth while Mr. Friedman is hovering behind her. I jerk away from her and try to sit up.

“You just stay right there, little lady. You take a moment to get yourself together, then I’m going to follow you home,” Mr. Friedman says, concern filling his voice. 

Thirty minutes later, I’m walking through my front door.
I
’m so glad to be home; not only am I worried about Dean’s call and feeling like shit, but I can’t put up with another minute of Bec trying to take care of me. Working alongside bitchy Bec was hard, but working with her now that she has turned painfully sweet is torture. It reminds me of when we were best friends and makes me miss her even more.  

I start to walk into the kitchen to grab a glass of ice tea,
but I stop when I hear a whimper. I follow the sound to Bethany's room. I'm scared to open the door. The last time I heard her cry, Dean had left her in a bloody mess on our living room floor.

I place my ear to the door, but all I can hear is her crying quietly. I slowly open the door and look in, worried that Dean may have shown up. I can't see her anywhere. The room isn't trashed, so I can assume he hasn't been here.  

I hear another sob and realize the sound is coming from the closet. I remember her telling me that Dean used to lock her in her closet for days at a time. Hell no! I run and jerk the door open. What I see makes my stomach clench. 

Bethany’s curled up with her knees to her chest. She's holding an old, stuffed puppy dog and rocking back and forth. She looks up at me with tears in her eyes.

"He's coming for us."

*****

Jase

Jenny and I are in the waiting line at Dairy Queen getting some lunch. I went to Pop's during my lunch break and Jenny was there, so I decided to take her to grab a chicken strip basket.  

"Hello there, Jase, haven't seen you in a while." Fuck! It's Brittany again. Can't this bitch take a hint? I thought Jenny and I were pretty clear that she is not wanted.

"Daddy
, it's that mean woman again," Julie says and rolls her eyes. I have to laugh at how blunt my girl is.

"What do you want, Brittany?" 

"Nothing really. I just heard that Julie's pregnant again. Wonder if she's going to keep this one away from you, like she did her?" she finishes by motioning her head at Jenny. I start to respond but am cut off by Jenny.  

"My momma didn't keep me away from my daddy. Daddy messed up! I would have left him too!" Jenny screams and stomps her foot.  

Brittany jumps back. “She has your temper doesn’t she?”

“What is wrong with you? Seriously, you come over to talk to me like that. Even worse, you talk that way in front of a nine year old? Thank God, you don’t have children,” I say, disgusted at her. “Talk like that around my child again, and I won’t think twice about hitting a woman.”

Brittany looks scared for a moment and then goes back to being a bitch.
“Wonder where Julie will run off to this time?" she says with a laugh and walks away.

I look down to Jenny and she has tears in her eyes.  

"Don't be upset, Sweet Pea. Don't pay any attention to that woman. She’s just crazy," I say, sounding a lot more certain then I am.   

Can I really trust Julie? What happens if she gets mad again? She said that she hadn't even thought about leaving, but I can’t be sure she’s telling the truth. I don't think I can handle her running off again. I can't lose Jenny. I might not know the new baby yet, but I already love it. I'm done waiting. I’ve got to talk to her, really talk, and Julie is finally going to listen to me.    

******

I see Julie
heading towards her house as I drive Jenny back to Pop’s, so I drop Jenny off with Pop and let him know that I'm taking the rest of the day off. Julie and I need to talk, and we need to do it alone. I've given her nearly a month, and I'm tired of waiting. I plan out the whole conversation in my head during the drive to her house. I’m going to listen to what she has to say, but then she is going to hear me out. Jenny is my kid too, so is the one she’s got growing in her. Julie’s not going to run again. 

I knock on her door, but no one answers. I know they are here, because Julie and Bethany’s cars are both in the drive. I knock again, but still no response. Screw this! I open the door and walk inside. I don’t see anyone, but I hear voices from down the hall. I think I hear someone crying. 

I walk toward the voices and stop right outside of Bethany’s door. 

“He’s coming for us.” I know it’s Bethany talking, but she sounds like a little girl. 

“Did he call you too?” Julie asks. There’s a pause, then she says, “Don’t worry, hun. He’s not coming here. He’s just trying to scare us.”

“No! He always finds me. I can never hide good enough,” Bethany screams.  

“No, Bethany. I promise he’s not going to hurt us anymore. We’ll run. We’ll run so far away that he’ll never be able to find us again.” 

Oh, hell no!  

I step into the room and I am surprised to find Julie and Bethany on the closet floor, holding on to each other. My anger at them immediately dies when I see the fear on both of their faces. Instead, a fierce need to protect Julie and Bethany fills me. “You’re not going anywhere, and no one is going to fucking hurt either of you.”

Chapter 18

Julie

I’m holding onto Bethany tightly, finding comfort in our mutual fear of Dean. Fear leaps into my throat as a presence fills the room. Dean. Shit, he’s here already. What am I going to do? For a split second, my muscles are taut and I feel my heart plummet. Then, I hear his voice.  “You’re not going anywhere, and no one is going to fucking hurt either of you.”

I look up and see Jase walking towards us.  He looks angry; I need to explain. “Jase, if he comes here, we won’t have a choice. You don't understand what he'll do."

“No! You aren’t going anywhere and neither are you,” he says to Bethany. His eyes land on me again. “I’m not having you run off on me again. You're not taking my kids away.”

“It wouldn’t be like that this time. You have to understand that if Dean finds us, he’ll kill us,” I say quietly; Bethany starts to sob in my arms.

Jase kneels down on the floor beside us. “He’s not going to fucking hurt you. I’ll kill him first.”

“You don’t know my brother. He’s not normal. He’s..."

Bethany seems at a loss for words, so I finish for her. "He’s crazy, Jase.”

Jase looks at us both and shakes his head. “He may be crazy, but he’s going to be dead if he messes with my family,” he says firmly.

Bethany looks up and gives him a small smile. “But I’m not part of your family.”

“The hell you’re not. You’re my daughter’s aunt. You’re my woman’s friend. In my book, that makes you
my
family.”

I start to tell him that I’m not his woman, but figure now is not the time to point that out.

“You’ll really take care of us?” Bethany asks, her voice filled with hope. 

“Yes, I give you my word that I will protect you and Julie with my life. If Dean shows his face in this town
, he has me, Matty, and Shane to face. Hell, I’m sure that there are a few other guys that would enjoy hurting him too. He won’t get close to you. That, I promise.”

******

We talk for a few minutes, but I can tell that Bethany needs some time to herself. I motion for Jase to follow me, and we walk to the living room. He sits on one end of the couch and I sit on the other. I can feel the tension rolling off him. 

I think it’s about time we talk about everything. Starting with how he could cheat on me. If I don’t ask and get this cleared up with him, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to forgive him and move on.
I also need to know what’s going on with him and Brittany.

We also need to talk about why I kept Jenny away from him. I know he is
angry, and I don’t blame him. With the new baby coming and all this stuff with Dean, he’s got to be worried that I'll run away again.

I feel determined. I need this done.
I go back upstairs and ask Bethany if she’ll go and pick up Jenny. She agrees. When we are back to the living room, Jase is standing near the window looking lost in thought. 

“
Thank you for everything, Jase. I’m going to go pick up Jenny. Then I’m taking her to the movies so you two can talk,” Bethany says and walks out the door, without waiting for Jase’s reply. 

We’re both quiet for a minute. I’m not sure what to say
, but the silence is killing me. 

“Why?”
he finally says. There are so many answers to that question that I don’t even try to answer. Instead, I just look at him. 

“Why
, Julie? Why would you keep my daughter away from me? I know I fucked up, but I would never hurt a child. You had to know that.”

“Your dad hurt you. He hurt you, Matty, and Shane.” I see pain flash across his face
and wish I could take the words back. 

“I’m sorry
, Jase. That was the wrong thing to say, but I’d being lying if I said that I didn’t think about that when I made the decision not to tell you.” 

“You could have told me any way. You didn’t have stay with me like Mom did
with Pop. You could have left me, but at least let me see Jenny.”

“You’
re right. But I was scared, and I also know you. Would you really have ‘let’ us break up? No, you would have done everything you could to stay with me. I didn’t want that. I knew you would be after me constantly, begging, pleading, anything. That’s why I left. That’s also one of the reasons why I didn’t tell you about Jenny, because I knew that begging and pleading would be ten times worse. 

“
But mostly, it was because everyone kept telling me to stay away. They said you were drinking all the time and weren’t capable of being a dad, but they were wrong. I know that now.  You’re a wonderful father.” I take a deep a breath, trying to control my tears. I look into his eyes and finally say what I have been thinking for nine years.

“I’m sorry
, Jase. If I had it to do over again, I would tell you.” 

His face softens.
“You’re right. If you had stayed, I wouldn’t have let you go, or given you a choice.”

Jase walk
s toward me, but I stop him by raising my hand. “If I’m going to even consider moving forward, then we need to talk about Bec, and you and Brittany.”

*****

Jase

"First of all, there is no me and
Brittany. What you thought happened didn’t. I won’t lie.  I went into the bathroom to have sex with her, but I couldn’t do it. At the time, I thought I had lost any chance I had with you, but I still couldn’t touch her.”

Julie nods and I can see the pain on her face. “What about Bec?”

How can I explain this in a way she'll understand, when I don't even understand it myself? I sit on the couch and she comes over and sits on the opposite end.

“Things were easy with Bec. We'd hang out, get drunk, and have sex. It was like she was a buddy that I fucked." I know it sounds cold; shit, it is cold, but I have to be honest.  

"I know this doesn't make it any better, but we only had sex three times before you left.  Once right after Mom died, once when you and I had some fight, and the day you saw us. That was it. The first two times, I was so drunk that I don't even remember it happening. That day that you caught us...well, what you saw was my way of keeping Bec quiet."

When I finish, I look over at Julie. She's not making a sound, but tears are falling down her cheeks. Oh fuck! It hurts like hell to see her cry, especially when I’m the one causing her tears.  

"Why did you need Bec after your mom died? Why wasn't I enough?
 I was there. I would have done anything for you." 

"That was the problem. You were always there. You kept asking me if I was all right or if I wanted to talk. You would never just let me be. I didn't want that. I just wanted to forget,” I try to explain.

"I don't understand."

I take a deep breath and lay it out for her. "When I was with Bec, I was just Jase. I could laugh, drink, and have a good time. When I was with you, I was a guy who had just lost his mom. You watched me like hawk, just waiting for me to fall apart. I wasn't normal, and I needed normal. I just couldn't handle it anymore."

"So it was my fault?" she whispers.  

I reach over and grab her. I pull her onto my lap. "No, no fucking way. It wasn't you. It was all me.  I fucked up, baby. I fucked up bad. I should have talked to you, but I didn't. I'm sorry, Julie. You'll never know how sorry I am. Everything I’ve just told you is simply the truth; the painful, fucked up truth, but in no way is it an excuse."

She looks up at me, tears still running down her face. "I'm sorry too."

I use my thumbs to wipe away her tears, and bend down and place my lips on hers.