Whisper Through The Pain (A Novella) (12 page)

“Would you like refreshments, Mr. Sorensen?”

Melissa spared a peek at her mother. She was always the gracious hostess.

“He’s not staying, Mother. He was on his way out when you and Daddy arrived.”

Jake’s icy gray stare seared a hole through her. He looked as if he could strangle her. It gave her a measure of satisfaction to know she had him riled. 

“He just got here,” her father said, “It’s nearing lunchtime. Our Sarah is one of the best cooks in the state of Texas. I can guarantee that whatever she’s preparing today will be delicious. Besides it’s about time we learn more about our son-in-law.”

“Jake has a plane to catch, Daddy,” Melissa interjected.

“No, I don’t,” Jake countered. “I can stay for lunch. I want to get to know my wife’s parents.”

Melissa shot him an angry stare.

Her mother stood and observed them for a long moment.

It seemed like an eternity to Melissa.

“Good. Then it’s all settled. Sarah should be back from her errands. In the meantime, I’ll check on lunch. I’m sure you and Melissa have plenty to talk about. My husband and I have questions but we will leave them for now.” She started toward the door, stopped and lifted a brow at her husband. “Are you coming, Jasper?”

Melissa intercepted the silent message between her parents and saw the imperceptible nod her father gave.

He got to his feet. “Please excuse us.”  They walked out of the room together.

The silence had Melissa’s nerves strung to a screaming point. She jumped to her feet and started to pace. Although his eyes bored into her every movement, she refused to look his way.

“Leave, Jake.”

“No.”

“What was that back and forth banter going on between my mother and you?”

“A message of understanding.”

She stopped and turned to him. “What does that mean?”

“Nothing for you to worry about.”

“Forget it, then.” She took a long deep breath and exhaled, counted to five, and planted her hands on her hips. “You’re in my parents’ home. I refuse to make a scene. I want you to walk to the door, open it, and go through it—now.”

She said the words slowly as if she was giving directions to a small child. 

He stood and advanced toward her. “Why didn’t you tell your parents you were married?”

She refused to answer. “Go!” She found she was losing control quickly. Melissa hurried to the door of the drawing room and waited for him to catch up. He took his time to reach her. He stopped in front of her, staring into her eyes as if he was dissecting her thoughts. It made her uncomfortable but she refused to fidget. She glared back.

“Calm down,” he commented, “you can get the idea of me leaving out of your pretty head. Do you think I came all this way for nothing? When I leave the state of Texas, you’ll be with me.”

“You’re delusional. This isn’t a game, Jake.”

“No. It’s not,” he said, earnestly. “Let’s sit. We’ll continue our conversation like rational adults.” He escorted her to the chair in front of the loveseat. He took the sofa.

“There’s nothing left to—”

“I believe there is.”

“Alright. You found me. Our marriage is over. Sign the damn divorce papers and end this farce.”

“You can’t get rid of me that easily.”

“Dammit, Jake. Why are you being difficult? You’re the one that cheated.”

“I admit to fucking up. I didn’t cheat.”

She rubbed at the tension in her eyes and temple. The man was driving her crazy.

He had taken a position on the sofa, reclining like this was his house, hands behind his head and his feet stretched out comfortably in front of him. He was relaxed and she was pissed. 

The sun was beaming through the windows, casting a beautiful glow into the room. But all she felt was dark anger and resentment seething through her, for him showing up when she was trying to forget him, turning her world upside down, and mad at herself for still loving him. She couldn’t help that her eyes were riveted to the powerful reality of his physical presence. Disgust cruised through her. She didn’t want to be aware of him or affected.

“I have a lot to say, Melissa, but your parents’ home isn’t the place for us to have an intense discussion.”  He stood and extended his hand. “Come with me.”

She remained seated. “I’m not going anywhere with you.”

Jake approached her, his face a stern, unsmiling mask. “I believe you will, Melissa. You went to great lengths to keep our marriage from your parents. I don’t believe you want our discussion in front of them. Do you?” He smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “Well, if you do, I can accommodate you. But they’ll know all of it, my love and
I mean all of it.

“Are you blackmailing me?”

His gaze was chilly. “We need privacy. Then you can rant, scream and shout at me as much as you want.”

“I need to let my parents know we are leaving.”

“I believe they’ll get the message. They know we want to be alone. But if it’ll make you happy go ahead and tell them.”

She left the room.

In the car, she maintained a steady silence for a long time, looking at the passing scenery.

“Where are we going?”

“Somewhere private”

She rolled her eyes. “You already said that, but where?”

“I’ve never known you to be impatient, my love.”

“Stop it.”

“What?”

“I’m not your love.”

He glanced at her, but didn’t say anything.  But she could tell he was perturbed by the tightening of his lips.

Within forty-five minutes, they entered a driveway between laced black iron gates and wound alongside a tranquil creek to a grand entrance. The circular drive featured an Italian fountain studded with fire torches. The home’s sandy stone veneer and steep slate roof with shades of green and blue gave it a sense of great age and timeless style.

“Where are we?” She continued to look at the beautiful grounds.

“Home.”

Confused, she turned to him. “Home?  This is your place? I didn’t know you owned a house in Dallas.”

“Now you do.”

“How long have you had it?”

“Almost a month.”

“Have you been in Dallas that long?”

“No, I arrived here three days ago.”

“What is this about? Why here, Jake?" she insisted. “As far as I know you don’t have any business in Dallas.”

“I have plenty of business in this city.”

She squinted. “Since when?”

Since you came here.” Those cool gray eyes pinned her to her seat, making her remember places and times when they were intimate. It stirred up all kinds of images she wanted left buried.

“Let’s go inside.” He opened the car door. “We won’t be disturbed here.”

Chapter Sixteen

Although the outside of the house was stately and beautiful, the inside was much larger. The entry hall was coated with gold leaf and accentuated with timeless fixtures of nineteen century pieces mixed with modern decor. They walked into an unbelievably huge room. She couldn’t tell what type of room it was, family room, a great room or living room.  A classic Baccarat chandelier hung from the octagonal coffered ceiling.

Against the backdrop of walls clad in Venetian plaster, alternating flooring of hand-scraped herringbone made the room breathtaking. Polished marble led the way through the room fusing, old architecture and modern conveniences together.

Lost in the majesty, she said, “This is beautiful, Jake.”

“I’m glad you like it.”

“I love it. This house has so much character. It’s inviting and warm.”

Without making a sound, a woman dressed in a maid uniform appeared in the doorway. She threw Melissa a quick glance but returned her gaze to Jake.

Jake frowned at the woman. “Yes?”

“Mr. Sorensen, Cook has prepared chicken Caesar salad and a cold tomato and corn soup for lunch.”

“Leave everything in the fridge. My wife and I will help ourselves later.

The woman didn’t even blink at the word wife. “Yes, sir.”

“Please make sure we aren’t interrupted. Better yet, you and the rest of the staff may leave for today.”

She nodded and disappeared as quietly as she came.

“You have a staff already?”

“Staff came with the house. I saw no need to release them.”

“How many?”

“A gardener, cook, and housekeeper.”

“Your house is a mansion. You need more staff.

“The domestic help comes in four days a week. No one lives in. If you want, you can hire more staff.”

Shock rendered her speechless.

He made straight to the bar and poured mineral water into two glasses, adding ice to one of them.

“Sit,” he said, without bothering to turn. “The sofa is new but comfortable.”

Melissa tried to maintain an indifference she wasn’t feeling.

He handed her a drink. Her hand gave a slight tremble as she took the glass. To cover it, she drained the water in one long swallow.

“You want more?” he asked.

She shook her head and set the glass on the marble table beside her. Linking her fingers together, she inhaled fortifying breaths and then released the air in her lungs. The heat of his gaze warmed her skin; causing tingling in places she didn’t want. She shifted in her chair, trying to get comfortable.

“You’re restless?”

She stopped moving. “No.”

His gray eyes roamed her face, finally holding her eyes captive.

“Since we are here, let’s get on with it.” Irritation laced her voice.

He frowned. His direct hold now was curious.

The stoic pressure of silence jammed the room.

She braced herself determined not to let him see her sweat.

Abruptly, his eyes turned heated. Aroused, a soft gasp escaped through her lips. She swallowed, hoping he didn’t notice.

He smiled. “Are you alright?”

She cleared her throat and ignored the question. “We’re at a standstill, Jake.”  “I’ve made some mistakes with you, Melissa. I don’t look back with regrets but I had to with you. I didn’t give you a chance or rather I wouldn’t listen to your explanation about Sinclair. I contributed to us heading down the road of mistrust and miscommunication.”

She didn’t say anything, waiting for him to continue.

“You’re the most important part of my life.”

She rolled her eyes.

He ignored it. “When it comes to you, I’m not myself…I lose focus.” Jake commented calmly. “But, you’re a different woman from when we started dating.”

“Change is evitable. People grow. What do you want from me, Jake?” she said in a dry tone. She was tired of the merry-go-around and wanted to get off.

“For you to give our marriage a fighting chance. It won’t survive without the both of us contributing.”

“You believe there’s something to save?”

He nodded.

She shook her head. “There’s too many wounds, Jake,” she said wearily. “Sharp words between us have cut deep. There’s a lot of infection.”

“We can start fresh today. Then the healing process can begin. All you need to do is let go of the anger.”

Who did he think he was?  He thought he could make the rules, demand she kneel and come back. Like hell she would.

“You’re still a domineering, controlling, son-of-a—” She stopped herself before completing the sentence.

The atmosphere in the room shifted in an instant.

“You knew what I was before you married me.” He uttered the words in a gruff tone. Those hypnotic gray orbs of his grew stormy and cold. She could see his multifaceted brain shifting into specialized compartments. He remained stoic, not releasing her from his mental grip.

Holding her composure, she fought not to show any emotion. 

“I knew you were ruthless but not a cheating bastard.”

“Damn, Melissa. You want to cut the jugular. This shit is becoming redundant. I’m not going to apologize for something I didn’t do.”

She came slowly to her feet. “But you wanted her, didn’t you? Admit it,” she screamed.

“Is that what’s bothering you?” He pushed to his feet. “The thought of me with another woman?” He reached for her, ran a finger along her cheek and whispered in her ear. “Touching another woman. Giving her the ultimate pleasure I always gave you? Maybe you imagined finger-fucking…her swollen lips engorged. Or my tongue lapping at her juices as I bring her to a powerful orgasm,” he taunted.

Hurt and shocked, she stumbled back into the chair behind her. “Damn you Jake, I hate you.”

He moved so swiftly she didn’t see it coming until his fingers grabbed the tops of her arms, pushing her back against the wall.

“How could you?” Tears clogged her voice.

“I’m sorry, baby.” He wrapped his arms tightly around her. “I’m so sorry…Please…I gave you the words you wanted to hear, not what happened. We need to stop hurting each other.”

“You can be very cruel, Jake. I don’t believe you know how to be anything else.”

She pushed at his shoulders.

“Don’t.” He didn’t release her. “You disappeared. You ignored my calls and texts. I was angry. Reckless.”

“Your ego was bruised.”

“It’s more than that, Melissa. You sic that barracuda of a lawyer on me, thinking I would yield. It pushed me over the edge.”

“I didn’t—”

“Hell, will you
please
listen to me—”

“I’m tired. It’s useless.” She tried to pull away from his hands again.

His powerful body pressed hard against hers and she felt the familiar curl of excitement low in her belly. The instinctive response sickened her. Even now her body failed to recognize the man that he was. She tried to move again but he planted his hands on her shoulders, blocking an escape.

“Melissa. Dammit. I’ve given you three months to tackle your demons and come to your senses. This back and forth shit to see who can get the highest score isn’t us. We went into this marriage wanting the same things.”

“You don’t know what I want.”

“Then tell me.”

She shook her head. “It’s too late.”

“No, it’s not. You’re the balance in my crazy world.”

“Am I supposed to be flattered? You’re still an A-class bastard.”

“You’re as bad as Sheila with your mouth. I’ve never heard you curse so much.”

“Get used to it.”

“No problem.”

“You know what I meant.”

She felt the tension pulsing through him and wondered with a flicker of shame whether she’d gone too far.

“Listen to me,” he said. “Or so help me you won’t like my methods.”

“Are you threatening me?”

Their eyes clashed and the air surged tight around them.

“I can be a bastard. But you know I would never physically harm you.”

She sighed. “I know. I’m sorry I implied you would.”

“There are more enjoyable ways.”

She had a feeling she wouldn’t like his methods, which would probably include them intimately touching, something she wanted to avoid at all costs.
Liar,
her brain screamed.  She remained still, waiting for him to continue speaking.

“I’ll keep saying it until you believe me. I. Didn’t. Cheat. On. You.”

The flat simple but strong statement ignited a flicker of hope within her.

“You hurt me, Jake,” she whispered. Her knees sagged and she would’ve slid into a heap on the floor if he hadn’t caught her.

“I know, baby. I’m not making any excuses,” he said in a raw tone. I’m not a demonstrative man. I’m conceited, I’m an ass-hole, I’m—”

“Yes, you are.” She agreed. “I married you believing we had something that worked.  You wanted a wife. I wanted to be lo…to be needed. We both wanted children.  The business was an added bonus we enjoyed. We had friendship, sexual attraction… Then I realized the only things that interested you were power, money, control and your ego. We were supposed to be partners—”

“We are.” He took her hand in his and held it close to him, staring deeply into her eyes. “You and I fought so hard to pretend the only thing we shared was business and great sex. But there’s so much more. You’re first in my life.”

“I don’t believe it. But, I can’t deny the chemistry.”

“I’m glad you acknowledge it.”

“A marriage should be based on more than great sex. There’s no love between—”

“That’s where you’re wrong.” He inhaled a deep shaky breath and released it. “I do love you,” he said with conviction.

Melissa watched him search her face for a reaction.

She stared at him incredulously. A lump settled in her throat. Tears gathered in her eyes, blinding her.

He ran a hand over the back of his neck and turned, stepping away from her.

His words vibrated throughout her brain over and over until it became a soft murmur. Shock held her immobile. She wanted to ask him to repeat it, but she was afraid she’d imagined his confession of love.

“I’ve loved you from the beginning. I thought I could be married to you and never tell you. Love wasn’t something we discussed,” he threw out in a soft tone. “I never wanted to fall in love…I didn’t believe in it…until I met you.”

“I wanted to believe what we had was enough.”

“Now it’s not?” he stated.

She remained silent.

“When I found out you’d been married. I didn’t know how to deal with it. I saw the way      the two of you greeted each other. I was the outsider peering in a window at a scene that I wasn’t a part of. I felt I’d lost you. But I refused to give you up because I was dying inside. I didn’t know what to do to make you choose me.”

“It wasn’t a contest between you and Brent.”

“You’re in love with him,” he uttered in a menacing tone. “That made it a contest.”

“This is ridiculous. I married Brent because I loved him.”

“You married me without love.”

“Our relationship was different. It didn’t involve a real connection.”

He blanched.

She felt remorse at the callousness of how it must’ve sounded to him.

“I’m sorry. A riot of emotions are warring inside of me.”

“Still?

“Some. I carried a lot baggage from my past. I no longer have it.”

“Sinclair helped you to come to that conclusion?”

“No. My parents. We have a long way to go but it’s positive.”

“Did you go to Sinclair when you left me?”

“What if I did?”

He flinched.

Why did she say it? Because she was afraid. Would she always wonder if she was enough? Could she live in anticipation of waiting for him to become bored and discard her? This man owned her soul—and he didn’t know it. 

“Jake, I didn’t go to Brent. I can’t change the fact I love him as a young girl and then as a woman. But it’s over. We are now at the place that is good.”

“What is that?”

“Friends.”

“I see.”

“I hope you do. But it doesn’t change anything.”

“I’m supposed to let you go?” he said, forcefully. “It’s not something I can do. You’re in my blood.”

She lifted her brows into a frown.

“There are no other women, Melissa. Hell, I don’t want another woman.”

“You could’ve fooled me.”

“Please…don’t.”

“You’re a highly sexed man, Jake. Women approach you all the time.”

“It has nothing to do with you and me.”

She glared at him. “If they have the audacity to let you know they are available when I was with you—”