Whispers of Death (13 page)

    "We are all ready to leave and take our places where we belong.  We are empty here, unable to move forward and incapable of going back," Vanessa said as she appeared from nowhere. "Limbo wasn't meant to be a resting place, only a place of decision."

    I twisted my fingers around a lock of my hair, something I did a lot when I was put on the spot.  I didn't know what to do.  I didn't know how to help Death get back his scythe or help these Spirits.

    "Why me?" I pleaded with Death.  "Why am I the chosen one?  I can't do this!"  I'm sure if I would have been in my human body I would be crying at this point.  I felt so much pressure to be someone that I knew that I wasn't.

    He looked at me and gently laid a hand on my shoulder.  I could no longer feel the cold that normally rushed through me at his touch; this time I felt something else: a surge of power rushed through my soul.  The warmth radiated through me, giving me a feeling of hope.  I inhaled deeply, realizing for the first time that I didn't really need to breath here.  The air filled my soul, making me feel lighter than normal.  I raised my head and looked out over the thousands upon thousands of Spirits that watched me.  I knew in that moment I was going to have to become what they needed me to be.  I was going to have to become the power that brought back the scythe.  I released the air that had seeped into my soul and turned and looked at Vanessa.  Her face seemed different to me now.  She was still beautiful, and her features still poured out with pain and hope, but I finally saw who she really was.  She was a mother, just like me.  She had left behind her daughter and her husband.  I also understood something else.  Something that if I hadn’t taken the time to see, wouldn't have recognized it.

    "You are forgetting your daughter and husband," I said. "This place makes you forget."

    Relief rushed across her face. "Yes. I need to move on so I don't forget," she whispered. "I can't forget." Her head dropped, and I'm sure that if she could, she would have also cried.

    I went to her and wrapped my arms around her.  I wasn't sure I could touch her, but as our Spirits touched, I could feel everything she was feeling.  Her pain pushed away from her and attached itself to me.  As it entered my soul, I watched as each memory she had flashed before my eyes.  I watched as she fought with her parents as a child, I looked in the mirror and saw her looking back, dressed in a white wedding gown and the vows that she and James had made to one another.

    I felt the pain of Mindy's birth and the joy that her smiling face gave Vanessa as she watched her grow from baby to toddler. I felt Vanessa's joy as Mindy took her first steps and felt her heartache when Mindy was sick for the first time. I felt the sheer pain that she’d felt as she went to the doctor and they found her cancer.  I had temporarily become Vanessa, or at least that was how it felt. The final memory that I watched and felt was Vanessa's final scream in agony as Fear entered through her heart and pushed the cancer through her body, ending her life.  I doubled over in agony, eventually dropping to the ground.  Our connection pulled apart, and I was released from her pain.  I sat on the ground for a minute panting before looking up at her.

    "What just happened?" I asked.

    No one spoke. Death stood next to both of us in complete shock, as if he had also felt the pain that I had experienced. He looked from me to Vanessa, then back to me again.

    "I don't know," he finally said. "It seems that when you connected with Vanessa your soul absorbed her pain and all of her memories."

    I didn't take my eyes from Vanessa's; she looked at me, and her eyes pleaded for help. "I can't forget," she whispered again.

    "Did you feel it?" I asked him.

    "While you are here and part of your soul is still on earth, I have to remain connected to your mind to keep you from losing control.  This place isn't meant to hold only part of a soul.  I help keep you connected to your body and because of that, I can feel all your emotions," he explained.

    I looked back at Death and realized what that meant. "How long can you keep the connection between me and my body?  Will I forget why I’m here if I stay too long?"

    "Yes, you will forget. The connection is only a temporary solution."

    I felt my whole body ache.  I couldn't forget my family. "What do I need to do?"

    Death smiled at me. "Come with me."

    We left the pathways and walked quickly back across the grassy plains.  The Spirits that stood waiting to enter the gates remained where they were, except Vanessa; she followed us.  There was no breeze here, but the grass moved gently.  We moved quickly, and I hurried to keep up with the black-cloaked figure in front of me.  We reached the edge of the plain, returning to where we’d started.

    "We are going to be traveling from one part of your world to another.  We need to find Fear, and then you are going to have to fight him and get back my scythe," he told me.

    I took a step back. "I can't fight Fear.  I don't even know how," I blurted.

    "Amelia, you have more power in you than you realize.  Think about what you are doing right now.  You are in two places at once.  You just did something not even I am able to do: you took away Vanessa's pain just by touching her."

    "She's still in pain. I didn't take it away," I argued. "And I'm not in two places at once. I'm only here."

   "Yes, my pain returned, but for a brief moment, I was free," Vanessa explained.

    I closed my eyes and rubbed my temples, trying to think about what I was about to do.

    "We don't have time, we need to go now!" Death interrupted my thoughts.

    "Okay, but tell me one thing, is my family okay?" I looked at him, watching his face for any change that would give me a clue.

    "You can see them soon.,” he said.

    "How?" I was excited by the thought of seeing my family.

    "The same way that we travel from land to land.  The same way that Vanessa and other Spirits were able to come to your world and see you," Death said, sounding annoyed at my question. "Just take a leap of faith."

    I followed Death's stare as he looked into a deep dark hole that led to nowhere. "I have to jump in there?" I swallowed.

    "This path is different than the others here; it will lead us to other worlds and will also allow us to return to Limbo." He watched my reaction as he spoke. "I am watching Fear, but he moves quickly.  We will need to get to your family quickly, then get back here to make the next leap."

    I gulped. "Do I just jump down there?"  The dark black hole seemed to swirl and twist like a tornado.  It made my head spin.

    "You won't even feel it," Vanessa said with reassurance.

    I couldn't feel it, but I knew that my heart was pounding at the thought of jumping into a deep dark pit.  My thoughts turned to the pathways behind me, and I took a step back.

    "What happens when I jump?" I asked.

    "You will fall," Death answered.  He turned backwards and fell into the darkness, disappearing from view.

    "Don't worry; it's only hard the first time." Vanessa encouraged me. "Just take the step and go see your family." She smiled.

    I inhaled again, not sure if I ever released the last breath that I took. I closed my eyes and stepped forward.  I felt a sharp pulling sensation as I fell into the darkness.

Thirteen

   My body twisted and turned.  I reached for anything I could find to stop my fall, but found nothing.  The darkness pushed itself around me, pressing my body tightly.  I struggled to break free, but with each movement I made, it squeezed harder.  After several long moments my mind began to refocus.  I could make out shapes and hear sounds.  I could feel the air return to my lungs and the constricting sensation lessen.  I blinked a couple of times and squinted as I tried to refocus my eyes on what I was seeing.

    I was back.  My bare feet could feel the cold wood floor, and the sunlight that peeked through the drawn curtains filled me with joy.  I turned to run to my husband and tell him I was okay but instead was greeted by a sullen-faced man.  Mark sat in one of our dining room chairs that he had put next to our bed; his hands covered his face.  I was lying in the bed next to him, the blankets pulled up to my chin.  My face was white, and I had an oxygen tube coming from my nose.  I was attached to dozens of wires and machines that beeped and whirred.  I covered my mouth and gasped.  I wasn't back, not really.  I was having an out-of-body experience, one that I wasn't enjoying.

    I looked back at Mark.  He looked like he hadn't slept in weeks.  When he finally took his hands away from his face, his eyes were black and had large dark circles under them.  His clothes were wrinkled, and I was sure he had lost weight.

    "You're alive."

    I spun around. Vanessa stood behind me, her eyes full of understanding. "You'll be okay."

   I turned back toward Mark. "How long have I been away?" My voice was quiet, almost a whisper.

    "A little over a week," Death answered, appearing in the doorway.

    "A WEEK!" I gasped. "How have I been gone a week?  It feels like I just left."

    "Time is different here than it is in Limbo," he replied.

    "Hi mommy." My heart leapt, and the beeping on the monitor sped up.

    Mark turned around. "Hey baby.  Did you come to give your flowers to Mommy today?" I could hear the pain in his voice, but I knew that he was trying to hide it from her.

    She looked right at me and smiled, then turned back to her dad. "Mommy is okay."

    "I know, sweetie. She will wake up soon," he told her. "Don't worry."

    I had no idea if she could really see me, but I smiled at her and bent down and placed a finger over my lips, telling her to not say anything. She gave a beautiful long white daisy to her daddy.  He took the flower and placed it in the vase next to the bed.  It was full of long white daisies.  I knew that Olive had something to do with it; she knew how much I loved them. I walked toward the doorway and beckoned for her to follow me.  She gave her daddy another hug, and we walked quietly down the hall and went to her bedroom.  As soon as we entered the room, she ran to me.  She knew that she couldn't hug me and stopped short.

    "Hi Mommy," she said happily.

    I looked at Death. "How can she see me?"  I asked.

    "She is more like you than we thought.  When Hunter explained where you were, it was as if her eyes were opened.  She instantly began seeing Spirits and was even able to communicate with them.  In the last week she has learned a lot about her gift.  She has practiced so that she would be able to see you.  Vanessa has been helping her."

    I looked at Vanessa. "Thank you." I smiled and turned back to Abby.

    "Hello my sweet.  How are you?" I asked.  My heart was full of love.

    "Mommy are you coming back now?" she asked.

    "No baby, not yet. I still have to help our friends," I said.

    Her smile disappeared. "Daddy is sad that you left.  He said it was all his fault."

    "It's not his fault sweetie; it's no one's fault." I wanted to hug her and tell her everything was going to be okay, but I knew that wasn't possible.  I wasn't whole, just a Spirit trapped between worlds.  "Can you do me a favor sweetheart? Can you tell daddy that I was here and that I love him very much?"

    She smiled again. "Yes."

    "Can you also give Hunter and your aunt and uncle a big hug from me and tell them that I love them?" I asked.

    "Uh-huh," she said. "Mommy do you want to see my new dolly that Aunt Livie gave me?"

    I smiled and kneeled down to look at her. "I would love to, but it needs to be quick. Mommy has to go help our friends, okay?"

    She grinned from ear to ear and ran to her bed, grabbing her doll and returning to me.

    "Aunt Livie said it's just like you," she said, proudly showing her to me.

    The doll had long blonde hair, fair skin, and deep green eyes.  She wore a beautiful long white dress with embroidered flowers on the hem.  Her lips were a pale pink color, and she had a beautiful gold necklace around her neck.

    "Abby she is beautiful.  Did you tell your aunt thank you?" I said, making a mental note to give Olive a big hug when I returned.

    "Abby, what are you doing?"

    I turned around and saw Hunter standing in the doorway.  His face was sullen, and he also had dark lines under his eyes.  I could tell that he had been crying.  My heart ached to give him a hug.

    "I'm talking to Mommy."

    His head shot up. "Mom?"

    "Hi Hunter," I said, unsure if he could still hear me.

    Relief washed over him; his whole body changed, and he smiled.

    "Mom, where are you?" he asked, looking all over the room.

    "I'm right next to Abby.  You still can't see me?" I asked.

    He shook his head. "Mom, are you coming home now?"

    I could hear the pleading in his voice.  He wasn't taking this very well. "Hunter listen, I still have work to do with Death, but I will be home as soon as I can," I explained.

    His head dropped, and a tear formed in his eye and dropped down his cheek. "Hunter, it's going to be okay," I reassured him. "I love you."

    "When will you be back?" he asked. "We need you."

    His voice cracked, and he broke down into tears.  He dropped to the floor, placing his head between his legs.  I stood up and walked over to him, Abby right next to me.  I sat down on the floor next to him and stroked the top of his head.  His body shivered under my touch. "It's okay sweetheart, I'll be back as soon as I can, I promise."

    Hunter didn't say anything, but he nodded.

    "How is your dad really doing?" I asked, trying to get him to talk to me.

    He looked up and sniffed. "The night you left, Dad called 911.  They came and took you to the hospital.  Doctors didn't understand what was going on; they just told him that you seemed to be sleeping, like a coma or something.  They ran lots and lots of tests and finally Dad told them to stop and that he wanted to take you home.  They tried to talk him out of it, but he said that’s where you needed to be.  They hooked you up to all these monitors and come check on you every day," he explained. "Dad hasn't left that room for days, and Aunt Olive takes him meals there. Mom, I'm scared."