Authors: Alicia Rivoli
My thoughts were bouncing around my head like a pinball machine. I had so many unanswered questions, but as soon as I entered my bedroom I knew that I had to return to my body. I didn't know the reason, only that I needed to.
"Do you know why?" I asked after a few moments.
Vanessa came to my side. "I do," she said. "When you helped me see happiness moments ago, I was also able to see your pain. In order for you to become strong again, you have to return home."
I knew that she was right as soon as she said it. I could feel a similar pull to the one I had when Hunter was in the hospital, but this time it was to my own body.
"What will happen when Fear comes here?" I asked, staring right into the dark eyes of Death.
"Then I will tell you. Right now, your family needs you, and your soul needs to heal." He walked over to my bed and gestured for me.
I walked over to the bed; Mark was still holding my lifeless hand. He would raise it every few minutes and kiss each one of my fingers, before kissing my wedding ring. I smiled. I couldn't wait to hold him again, to feel his lips on mine and hear his heartbeat as I rested my head on his chest. I couldn't wait to hug and kiss Abby and Hunter and tease my sister.
I turned to Vanessa; her eyes were sad and full of pain. "I won't let you forget," I whispered.
She gave me her best smile. "I won't let you forget either," she said.
I sat down on the bed next to my body. "How do I do this?" I asked Death.
He placed his hand on my shoulder. "I will call for you soon. Get as much rest as you can." He then placed his other hand on my body, and I felt an instant pulling sensation in the pit of my stomach. I closed my eyes as a pain shot through my soul. I felt like my whole body was being ripped apart. I wanted to cry out in agony, but my mouth wouldn't move. My fists clenched together as the pain became unbearable. Seconds later I felt Death's touch disappear from my shoulder. The pain started to lessen, and I felt my lungs fill with air and my heart beating inside my chest. I gasped, and my eyes flew open. Mark fell to the floor, and the monitor beeped quickly in my ear. I tried to sit up, but my body was weak from the days or weeks that I had been lying there.
"Amelia!" Mark jumped up from the floor and threw himself on top of me. His lips instantly found mine, and tears streamed down his face.
I weakly placed my hand on his cheek and wiped away the tears. "I told you I would be back," I said, smiling.
He pulled me in for a tight hug and held me. I closed my eyes and enjoyed his touch as he rubbed my back and combed my hair with his fingers.
"I missed you," he said quietly in my ear.
"I missed you too." I gently pushed him back and looked into his eyes. I saw pure happiness there, happiness that I had seen on his face multiple times, but the first time was when I’d agreed to marry him. It was the look that he gave me now that helped me find joy even in my darkest of times.
"Where are the kids?" I asked, eager to see them and hold them.
"I'll get them, just wait here," he told me. "They just got home from school."
Mark retreated from the room, looking back at me before leaving, a big smile stretched across his face.
"How long do I get to stay here?" I asked, slowly turning my head to face Death who waited patiently nearby, his back towards the bed.
His shoulder slumped, and his head dropped. "That is for you to decide. I'm already hearing reports that Fear is on his way here, so it won't be but a couple of hours before he reaches Earth. He will stop by other places first to gain more energy."
"Why didn't you tell me?" I said, rising from the bed. "Shouldn’t I try and help them?
Death sighed deeply and walked towards the bed. "We wouldn't make it in time. Fear has become more powerful, and you need to get as much strength from your body as you can. You will need it when he gets here."
I didn't hear him as he spoke. I shook my head, since connecting back with my body my mind felt fuzzy, but what was truly strange was I felt as if I had a few hundred people talking to me all at the same time, but only soft enough that I wondered if I was imagining it. I shook my head again, rubbing my temples; I tried to make the sensation leave so I could focus on what Death was saying.
"Amelia, are you okay?" Vanessa asked, coming to my side, bending to look me in the eye.
"I don't know," I said honestly, "my head feels a little fuzzy." I looked at her; her soul was filling with a darkness, a darkness that I hadn't seen in her before. It was creeping up her body slowly. I gasped.
"Yes, you are seeing the fading of her memories. When Fear takes over a body, the soul becomes tainted. It…"
"MOMMY!"
Abby ran and jumped onto the bed, throwing her little arms around me. She had tears running down her face and pooling up under her big green eyes. I wrapped my arms around her, taking in her scent and the feel of her soft curly hair.
My eyes filled with tears. "Oh my sweet angel. I have missed you!" I cried.
Hunter ran into the room, crossing the floor in a few quick strides; he grabbed hold of me and cried in my arms.
"Thanks for coming back," Hunter whispered between sobs.
"Always," I whispered back.
I sat and held my babies for a long time. Their silent tears slowly coming to an end, I pulled them back and looked into their eyes. They had grown so much since I had been away. Hunter was losing his sweet boy face, and he was slowly turning into a teenager. My boy was only ten, but to me, in this moment, he was much older. Abby's hair had grown at least another half an inch, and her little body looked more radiant than ever. Her little baby cheeks were red, and her lips were full and tinted a soft pink. I kissed them each on the forehead.
"I have missed you both so much," I told them. "Are you okay? How was school?"
Hunter chuckled. "We missed you too." He looked over his shoulder towards Death standing next to the window. "Why is he still here?"
I looked at Death and back to Hunter and Abby. My heart sank knowing that I would have to return, knowing that I still had a job to do.
"Hey, where is your Aunt Livie? Isn't she staying here with you guys?" I asked, changing the subject.
"Aunt Livie and Uncle Peter went to take showers at home and get some more clothes," Abby said in her sweet little angel voice. "Livie played dress-up with me yesterday after school."
"She did?" My voice went up an octave as I talked excitedly with my daughter about her playtime with my sister.
Abby excitedly told me all about the make up, dresses, and even high heels that Olive had bought her at the store to play in. Hunter never once removed his eyes off of Death; he watched him as he paced back and forth throughout the room. Mark sat in his chair nearby. He watched Hunter for a while and then stared at me. His realization of my temporary stay seemed to hit him hard. His big deep brown eyes turned cold, and his face grew long as Abby told me of her day. I turned from him. I couldn't watch his heart break, not right now.
My mind still felt fuzzy, and the voices that I was sure I was imagining kept getting louder. I still couldn't make out any words from the sounds, but I admit it was starting to scare me a little. When Olive and Peter arrived, my sister didn't look happy that I was awake. She stood in the door; her face went from mine to Mark's to Hunter's. She knew instantly that something still wasn't right. She crossed the room and held me for a long time before speaking.
Her voice came quiet, like that of a mouse. "You have to go back don't you?"
She pulled back and stared into my eyes. Her own beautiful face looked tired, like she hadn't slept in days.
"Hey guys, let's give your mom some rest. How about we go and make a pizza!" Peter said, breaking the silence between us.
Abby squealed delightedly, but Hunter just stared at the wall where Death stood.
"Hunter?" Peter said again.
"Hmm..." Hunter said, not moving.
Peter walked into the room and stood in front of him. "Hunter, do you want to come help us make a pizza?"
Hunter finally turned and looked at me. I smiled and touched his cheek, nodding.
"I guess so," he said, getting up from the bed and walking towards the door. He looked back at me before turning down the hall; his head dropped, and he shuffled quietly to the kitchen.
I don't know if I had ever experienced the pain that shot through my body as I watched his face. My whole body seemed to be overrun with one emotion, an emotion that I hadn't ever experienced before: heartbreak. It actually became hard for me to breathe as I watched him walk around the corner. It was as if the walls surrounding my chest had collapsed and were crushing my heart. I reached up and squeezed my hand over my heart; tears began pooling under my eyes, ready to spill over onto my cheeks.
I pulled the covers up to my chin, and I let the tears fall. They came silently at first, but then everything changed as Mark and Olive lay down on either side of me, both wrapping their arms around me. I felt broken, like part of me had betrayed my son, husband, and my sister. Abby didn't seem to notice the icy stares I was receiving from her father and brother, but of course, Olive noticed immediately.
Vanessa and Death had moved to the far corner of the bedroom to give us privacy, but I could see that she was struggling now more than ever. The black that I had seen earlier, although it moved slowly, was moving further up her legs, and soon her feet would be completely black. Immediately I had a thought rush to the front of my mind. I sat up quickly.
"Mark, I need you to do something for me." My words came out slurred and weak.
He stared at me, a questioning look on his face. "Okay," he said.
"Can you call James Tate and tell him I need to see him?" I said urgently. "Tell him to bring any pictures he has of their family. Wedding, birthdays, holidays, anything." I had jumped up from the bed, and my head spun from getting up so quickly, and my legs wobbled under me. I had forgotten that my body had been still for…I actually didn't know how long, and I quickly grabbed the headboard for balance.
Olive grabbed me around the waist before I could collapse onto the floor. "What do you think you are doing? You can't just jump up and run around after being in bed for almost a month. Your body needs time to get its strength back!" she snapped angrily.
I snapped my head around to look at her. "A MONTH!" Surely there had to be a mistake. I couldn't have been gone for that long. I looked at my husband, who still hadn't moved from the bed. He had covered his eyes with his arms.
"Yes a month," Olive answered solemnly.
"Mark, I'm so sorry," was all I could say.
He moved then. His strong arms pulled me into him, and he buried his face in my hair. I felt his shoulders quiver under my arms, and I knew he was crying.
"I wasn't sure you were ever coming back," he whispered after a long moment. "I had started to give up hope.
"We all were," Olive said, and her voice held a sharp tone to it, and I could tell it would take her awhile before she forgave me.
"I'm sorry I was gone for so long. I really didn't know. I wish I could have come back to you sooner, but things are still out of control. I wish I had more time to explain, but we need to hurry." I had pulled Mark's face to look into mine. I wanted to see his eyes full of joy, but I just saw darkness and fear. "Mark, please I need you to trust me. I need you to know that I'm doing something that will save not only our family, but everyone."
"When do you have to go back?" he asked.
I looked at Death, hoping for an answer, but he wasn't looking at me. He was staring blankly out the window. "I don't know," I answered honestly.
He sighed and looked at Olive. "I'll go call James," Olive said. "He has been here every day for the last three weeks. I'm sure he is already getting ready to come over again today." She walked out of the room without looking back at me.
"He has?" I said, shocked.
"Yes," Mark said. "James and I have something in common."
I looked at him. "Really? What is that?"
He looked down at his hands. "We had both lost our wives."
The same feeling of complete heartbreak hits me again, pulling all the air from my lungs. This wasn't supposed to be how I felt when I returned. I wanted to feel the way I had when I had just woken up and Mark had held me in his arms and kissed me. I wanted to take away his pain and never make him feel this way again. I wanted to see the look of joy and love in his eyes, and I knew that I had to see it again before I could face Fear. Without that look, I would never have the strength to fight back.
I grabbed him and forced his eyes to look at me, and I pressed my lips to his. This kiss was all I had to give him. I put all my love behind it, all my passion, hoping it was enough to help him realize that I had never really left him. He quickly pulled me closer to him. He ran his fingers through my hair and down my back and gently let his fingers trace along my jawline, sending shivers down my spine. I felt his heartbeat quickening as I placed my hand on his chest. I ran my fingers up his arms to his neck and back and finally to his face. He pulled away and looked at me. I smiled as I saw in his eyes the joy and happiness I needed to see. He rested his forehead against mine, his big brown eyes staring into mine.
"I love you.,” he whispered.
I smiled even wider and kissed him again, softly this time. "I love you more," I said.
Sixteen
James arrived in record time. His hands were full of scrapbooks and photos. He placed them all at the foot of the bed.
"What pictures do you need?" he asked, frantically flipping through the nearest scrapbook.