Why Now? (25 page)

He then moves past me, mumbling, “Gonna take a quick shower.”

The sound of the bathroom door closing behind me and the water kicking on gets me moving. It’s like we’re roommates, not a couple.

I don’t want to be roommates; I want to figure out a way to reignite the passion we had before he left. Not sure what else to do, I start to undress. Pulling off my top, I toss it on the bed and quickly shed the rest of my clothes. Jake won’t be able to ignore me like this. It’s then I realize the bedroom door is open, so I close and lock it.

I’m naked. We’ve kissed, we’ve made out, and it’s gotten hot, okay really hot but I’ve never been naked with him. I’ve never been naked with anyone.

I’m naked and Jake is going to see me naked.

Oh boy.

Before my courage leaves me, I hurry to the bathroom and open the door.

Jake must hear me because he says, “I’ll be out in a couple of minutes.”

Pulling the shower curtain back, I step into the tub behind him.

“Holy shit,” Jake says, turning to see me.

Fisting my hands at my sides, I fight the desire to cover myself. After he gets a good look at me, Jake quickly turns around. He looks at the soap holder, he looks at his feet, he looks at the ceiling, he looks anywhere but at me.

My eyes drink him in. He is too wet and naked right in front of me to ignore. I had an actual plan before I got in the shower with him, but I’m quickly forgetting what it was.

“Kacey, what are you doing?”

Stepping closer to him, I reach out and touch his back. Drops of water slide down his skin, bumping into other drops and forming tiny streams that flow down his back.

With my fingertip, I brush one of the drops away. His entire frame shivers at my touch. I move closer and he doesn’t step away. Moving forward, I don’t stop until my bare chest rests against his muscled back.

My hands rest on each side of his waist and I press my mouth to his skin, kissing away another drop.

Leaving my lips there, I whisper, “I love you. I want to help you. Please let me help you. I don’t know what to do. Just tell me and I’ll do it.”

He reaches down and grabs my wrists. At first, I’m scared he’s going to push me away but he does the opposite. He pulls my hands in front of him and crosses them around his body so that I’m hugging him.

His arms cover mine, holding me to him. “I don’t know why I’m alive.”

Leaning my cheek against his skin, I blink away tears. “You’re alive because you were hurt and had a friend save you. You’re alive because he loved you and wanted you to live. Don’t you see that, Jake, Erik saved you so you could live.”

My heart breaks when his body shudders against mine. Pinching my eyes closed I hold on tight praying that I got through to him.

After a moment, he reaches down to turn off the water. Then, he steps out of my arms and out of the shower. He’s back a moment later, wrapping me in a fluffy towel before reaching for another and wrapping it around his waist.

Once he’s tucked the end tight, he reaches for me and helps me step out of the tub. Standing in front of me, he rubs his hands up and down my back.

I press my cheek to his chest as he rests his chin on the top of my head.

“I love you too, Kacey,” he murmurs.

My body melts against his.

“Come on,” he says, turning me towards the door that leads to my bedroom and reaching past me to push it open.

He guides me toward my bed. “Do you want a tee shirt?”

Nervously, I shake my head and drop my towel. His intake of air behind makes me blush. I hear his towel drop behind me. He closes the distance between us and presses his lips to my shoulder.

“You are so beautiful,” he whispers.

He walks us to my bed, reaches down to pull the covers back and guides me onto it. He follows me down and pulls my body flush to his before pulling the covers over us.

His hands are hot against my back as his mouth covers mine. My lips part under his and his tongue slides into my mouth.

Lifting my hands, I wrap my arms around his neck. His bare chest is pressed to mine. He’s aroused, extremely aroused, the very real evidence of his arousal pressing against me.

Oh boy.

I want him, I do, but I’m not sure if now is the right time for us to take that step. He’s working through some things and I don’t know if this is the right way.

That was probably something I should have considered before climbing into the shower with him. All I wanted to do was get his attention. My plan obviously worked, but now I’m not sure what to do.

He breaks our kiss. “You’re tense.”

Opening my eyes, I look anywhere but into his.

“Talk to me, Killer.”

This is the worst.

Dipping my head, I tuck my face into his neck. He smells like my soap but somehow manly at the same time.

“I’m nervous,” I whisper.

His arms tighten around me. “We don’t have to do anything.”

“But, you’re—“

He cuts me off, “Hard. It’s not a fatal condition.”

“Jake,” I gasp.

His arms loosen and one of his hands starts to slowly stroke my back. With each pass, I begin to relax.

“How was your day?”

Before the explosion, this was how we ended our days, only with clothes on.

“So long,” I sigh.

“Tell me about it,” he prompts, his hand still moving over my skin.

“Well, I drew the short straw and had to take the meanest patient.”

Tilting my head back, I look up at him and he frowns down at me. “Do I need to beat someone up?”

Pressing my hand to his chest, I feel the beat of his heart.

I shake my head. “She wasn’t mean to me but the last time she was in she made one of the front desk girls cry.”

His frown disappears. “She’s lucky she wasn’t mean to you.”

“Oh yeah?” I tease, the stresses of my day melting away.

This is what I was missing. He’s been so closed off and bottled up. It may be just for tonight but it’s like I have him back.

He brushes his lips across mine. “Yeah.”

Then, he tells me about his day and the guy Jimmy had to fire because he showed up high to the worksite.

“High?” I gasp. “But how’d he get there.”

Jake shrugs, my body moving with his. “No clue. He didn’t drive, but I can’t see him getting a ride either.”

“That’s so sad,” I murmur and he nods.

“Jimmy said they worked together for another company a couple of years ago and the same thing happened.”

“Why’d Jimmy hire him,” I ask.

He shifts onto his back and tucks me into his side.

“The guy swore he was clean and Jimmy wanted to give him a chance. They were friends. You might know the guy; he’s closer to your age, Geoff Knopf.”

I sit up, my jaw dropping. “We graduated together.”

Jake’s gaze moves to my breasts and I lie back down, shifting back against him. He doesn’t say anything for a while so I break the silence.

“I didn’t know he did drugs.”

His hand moves to my back again, this time moving up my spine and stopping when he reaches my head. His fingers thread through my hair and he cups the back of my head, his fingers massaging my scalp.

“God, that feels good,” I moan and he chuckles.

“Thank you, Kacey,”

Reaching up, I caress the powerful plains of his chest. “Thank me? You’re the one rubbing my head.”

“You know what I mean,” he replies, but explains it anyways. “For being here for me.”

“I’m not—“

He stops me. “Don’t say you’re not doing anything. You are, and it means a lot to me.”

“Okay,” I breathe.

“I used to think about you and try to picture what my life would have been like if I never had to leave Ferncliff. What you would have said if I had asked you out on a date.”

I laugh. “You know I would have said yes.”

He pushes his chin down, turning his face to kiss my forehead. “I hoped so. I tried to guess what kinds of things you would like. I knew you loved the beach but I was guessing in my head about other stuff like movies and music.”

We’ve had a chance to learn these things over the past ten weeks. It feels like so much more time has passed.

“What were your guesses?” I ask.

“Not Justin Bieber,” he laughs.

Blushing, I argue, “His new stuff is really good.”

He kisses my forehead again. “Whatever you say, Killer.”

We talk like this until we fall asleep.

My eyes blink open. The morning light is a soft whisper against my curtains. It’s early and warm, especially at my back and there’s a band of heat across my waist, another across my chest.

How strange.

Shifting, the heat moves with me. Reaching up, I rub my eyes and yawn.

Why am I so hot?

It starts coming back to me, last night, the shower, then getting into bed. That heat behind me is Jake, and his hand is on my boob.

Glancing over my shoulder, I relax when I see he’s still asleep. All I need to do is get out of bed without waking him. Then I can put on some clothes.

My stomach rumbles, reminding me that we missed dinner last night. So my order of priorities is clothes, bathroom, and then food.

Pressing my lips together, I reach down to shift Jake’s hand off me. His hand flexes on my chest making me freeze. Is he awake?

Slowly, so, so slowly, I turn my head to peer over my shoulder at him and see him staring back at me.

My eyes widen and I whip my head back.

He chuckles, his front pressing into my back, his arms tightening around me.

His lips are on my neck. “You feel so good in my arms, baby.”

“I need to put on clothes, go to the bathroom, and then eat, in that order,” I reply.

He laughs even though his lips are still pressed to my neck. “I hope soon you’ll need to stay naked, jump me, and let me rock your world, in that order.”

I quiver, a full on, whole body, quiver. He wants me, or maybe it’s only morning wood pressing against my ass right now. I want him too, but . . .

This isn’t something I have experience with. As much as I do want him, I want to be ready, not worried that my stomach might grumble or that I have to pee.

He kisses my neck again. “Want to go to Lola’s for breakfast?”

He is the best guy ever.

“That sounds perfect,” I whisper.

He gives me an extra squeeze before letting me go. Then he pulls his pillow out from behind his head and covers his face with it.

“Go get dressed. I won’t look.”

Him getting that I’m still shy around him means a lot to me. Scrambling out of bed, I hurry to my bathroom to grab my robe.

Jake knocks on the door a few minutes later, already dressed, and we swap. While he’s brushing his teeth and shaving, I get dressed.

It’s cool out so I slip on a jacket before we leave. He holds my hand as we walk.

“Thank you,” I blurt out after we’ve crossed the street.

“For breakfast?”

“No,” I reply, squeezing his hand. “For not pushing me.”

He doesn’t say anything so I glance up at him.

He stops and moves in front of me. Cupping my face, he leans down to kiss my forehead.

“We’re building something here, Kace, something I want to last the rest of our lives. If you want me to wait until our wedding night, I will. Last night you reminded me that we are in this together. You’re it for me. That work for you?”

Covering his hands with mine I reply, “That works for me.”

He leans down to brush his lips over mine and I add, “I don’t want to wait until we’re married.”

He grins, his lips still on mine. “Okay.”

In fact, part of me wants to drag him back to our apartment right now. Of course, there’s a decent chance I’ll chicken out if I did that, so breakfast makes more sense at the moment.

Still, knowing that he’d wait that long for me after I waited so long for him settles warm and sweet in my belly. I’m pretty sure I’m not ready for sex. Not because I don’t love or want him but because I’m nervous about how inexperienced I am.

“I’d like to try other stuff,” I admit, looking off to the side.

He straightens. “Other stuff?”

Flushing, I lift my shoulder and drop my hands to his waist. He lowers his hands as well, mirroring mine.

“Yeah . . .” I trail off.

Grasping my chin, he turns my face until my eyes are on his. “Any stuff you want to do, I’ll do.” He leans down until his lips are at my ear. “Over and over again, whenever and wherever you want.”

My jaw drops, my nipples tighten, and my belly cartwheels down the street as my knees wobble. “That sounds good,” I manage.

He steps away and back to my side taking my hand in his. Then, he starts to walk like I didn’t just have a full body reaction to his words.

His hand tugs on mine and I come unstuck. Once we reach Lola’s he holds the door open for me. It’s always busy there on weekend mornings so instead of waiting for a booth, we sit at the counter.

Georgia, or Mrs. Fairlane as Jake calls her, is working it.

My brain is still half-asleep so I order the breakfast special on autopilot.

Mrs. Babcock, one of the biggest gossips in town is sitting on the stool next to Jake’s. She takes one look at me and then tells Jake, loudly, I usually only order an omelet so he must have really worked up my appetite if I was getting the special. She said that aloud, on a Saturday morning, at Lola’s.