Wicked Wonderland (17 page)

“Yeah? Did it ever occur to you that you’re comparing her to your own mother? You just called her mother’s gambling an addictive high. Isn’t that how your mother was with extreme sports?”

Nick scowled. “My mother was an adrenaline junkie, and that’s all she cared about. Lilly’s mother’s the same way, only with gambling. Whatever. It’s the same selfish shit any way you look at it.”

Kris remembered going with Santa to Nick’s uncle’s apartment to pick up the unwanted teen. The place stank of garbage, sweat and stale liquor. Nick’s Uncle Grant had been filthy drunk and red in the face. He was laying into Nick with a belt when they arrived.

St. Nicholas had pulled the man off the child and rescued him. Kris had seen Santa consider, known somehow that St. Nicholas wanted to shove the man against a wall, maybe hit him, but he hadn’t. He’d reverted to type and remained jolly.

And it turned out Uncle Grant was more than happy to have young Nick off his hands, even though he hadn’t believed St. Nicholas was really Santa. In fact, Grant had laughed and laughed. The slimy bastard hadn’t even cared whose hands he was putting the teen into.

And Kris knew that Nick’s mother had left her only child with her disgusting brother dozens of times, just so she could go on adventure holidays or attend sporting events, and when Shaylee Frost’s will was read, she’d left everything to her asshole brother. Not a cent to her own son. Luckily, Nick had grown to be a man who always knew how to make money one way or another.

The touch of Nick’s hand brought him back to the present. “I just don’t get it. Why does an intelligent, wonderful woman like Lilly sacrifice everything for a useless woman like Marion?”

Kris sighed. “Nick, she
told
you. Her adoptive mother wasn’t always selfish. She cared for her well as a small child. She wasn’t always a bad mother.”

“Like mine, you mean? Yeah, okay, I get it. I won’t diss her mother again, even if I have to grit my teeth not to do it. I’ll even support her mom financially if I have to. I mean, fuck, I’d do anything for her, you know?”

“I know. I get it. You and I both missed out on ever enjoying the love of a mother.”

“Yup, regular Peter Pan and the Lost Boys, the two of us.” They both laughed. “Except you handle it, Kris—that longing for a mother—so much better than I ever have. Why is that?”

Kris thought of the note his mother had left in the little basket she put him in when she gave him to the church:
To the kind people of St. Andrew’s Church, I entrust you with my baby. Though I love him with all my heart, I’m only fifteen and too young to care for him.

“Maybe it’s because I never had a flesh-and-blood mother to grieve over. Only a note tucked in a basket.”

Nick nodded. “My mother was too busy with her sporting events to have time for a little boy. That’s just how it was.”

Kris reached out and touched his shoulder. “You’re my best friend, you know that, right? Lilly’s a beautiful person, and if she’s what you want, you should have her. I don’t want to give you up, but I don’t think Lilly would ever agree to a permanent sylph ménage-type relationship.”

Nick grinned at him, a sly glint in his eyes. “She enjoyed herself enough last night.”

Kris grinned back for a moment. Then he frowned. “Yeah, but she made it clear it was a one-night-only deal. She doesn’t trust us to love her.” Kris took another sip of his beer and set the bottle down.

“Do you love her too?”

“I’ve tried not to let myself, because I thought of her as yours. But I could.”

“Pffft, she’s not mine. Anyway, Lilly loves you. I can see it in her eyes. She won’t reject you. Hell, I know you’re less irritating than me, for a start.”

Nick set down his beer and laughed, but Kris just shrugged. There were times when it was just too difficult to tell Nick how he felt, and this was one of them. He doubted Nick’s words about Lilly.

Nick idly ran the slack reins through his hands. “Kris, you’re not jealous? You’ve never been the jealous type. I have more of that unpleasant mortal emotion in me than you’ve ever had. I’ve even been jealous at times, seeing you with fae women.”

There it was, the question he’d feared. Embarrassed, he answered without guile. “Nope. Never been jealous. Until now. I want you both.”

“And that’s what I want too. God, she turns me on so much. And seeing
you
fuck her makes me so damn hard. I’ve always wanted to see that. I finally got to.”

Nick dropped the reins, then leaned over and slid his hands across Kris’s shoulders, teasing him, kissing him, sucking at Kris’s lips with just a hint of bite. Kris’s heart leapt with hope as he groaned and tangled his fingers in Nick’s long hair. This was what he needed, what he could never live without, the love of his best friend, the one who’d always understood him when no one else in the Fae Realm had. The man who touched his soul in places no one else ever could.

When Kris gave a second soft moan of surrender, Nick pulled back, and his gaze connected with Kris’s in a way that made every hormone in his body sizzle. “You’re mine, Kris, and I’ll never let anything come between us. Do you understand? Never doubt what I feel for you.”

Relief bubbled through him. He wanted to scream out his joy. He knew true love—what he had with Nick—wasn’t an illusion. It made the world strong and bright and more real.

Slowly, Nick pushed down his pants so that his cock jutted powerfully upright from its trimmed thatch of dark hair

“Suck it, Kris. I want to take you so deep. Take you in the back of your throat and know that no one else will ever possess you the way I do.”

Burning need made Kris’s own cock instantly hard. Nick’s powerful words triggered nerve endings in every part of his body, arousing all his submissive desires.

He placed his hand on Nick’s shaft and began to slowly stroke its length. The skin beneath his hands burned with need and power. Kris ran the blunt edge of his fingernail along the thick vein that ran along the underside of Nick’s dick; then he tightened his hand and leaned in to lick the head of his long-time lover’s cock.

Nick looked down at Kris’s pants and raised one eyebrow. It was all he needed to do. Kris undid his own pants and let them fall to the floor of the sleigh. Nick drew him close and rubbed his shaft against Kris’s, and Kris stiffened at the erotic friction. Kris skimmed his finger along the head of Nick’s cock, collecting glistening precome on his finger.

All emotional pain temporarily forgotten in a haze of lust, Kris slipped down to the floor of the sleigh and spread Nick’s legs farther, then took Nick’s enormous rod in his mouth.

Even as the sight of Nick’s length and hardness aroused him, his mind filled with images of Lilly’s soft, warm body, large breasts and slick pussy. His intuition with Nick was such that he could almost feel his lover’s thoughts. He guessed that today Nick imagined Kris’s mouth was Lilly’s tight sheath. And if he was—then that was all right. A bit of fantasy never hurt their relationship. Sealing his lips and humming in the back of his throat, he sucked Nick’s cock into his mouth.

Nick growled, grabbing a fistful of Kris’s hair and pumping his hips, driving his cock deep with the force of his dominance. When Kris inserted a moistened finger into Nick’s ass, Nick exploded down his throat.

Kris pulled his lover down to the floor for a cuddle. As they lay there in each other’s arms, Nick stroked Kris’s hair and whispered, “You, me and Lilly, we won’t lose. Everything will work out.”

Kris wasn’t so sure. If they were ever to win Lilly over, Nick would have to give up some of his need to control others. Lilly might like to play sub, but outside the bedroom, she was a strong woman who needed to make her own rules. He felt an ache in his chest, a soul-chilling ache at the thought of losing either Nick or Lilly.

Chapter Nine

Lilly awoke and rubbed the gritty sleep from her eyes. Good God, she’d just had the world’s sexiest dream.

Slowly, she opened her eyes and then startled as she realized she was staring into the faces of the very men she’d been dreaming about. She felt the cold bite of a winter breeze on her face.

In alarm and surprise, she struggled to sit up, amazed to see the sleigh and realize all the mind-blowing events hadn’t been a dream after all. Kris held her and smiled down into her face. She smiled back at him, her heart swelling with all the emotions she’d felt for him in the past and now.

Looking around, she realized she was home. They’d parked the sleigh outside her white townhouse. And then she remembered she was playing in the orchestra for an important charity ballet she’d helped organize. That was her
real
life. That was reality.

Jesus, was she going to be late? She glanced at her wrist and then remembered Nick had dropped her watch in her handbag. She unzipped her bag and pulled her cell phone out to check the time. Hell, a little under an hour to get down to the auditorium.

Nick leaned forward. His eyes looked darker than normal, glittering in a way that made heat sweep through her body. He placed a strong hand on her arm. “Let’s talk about when we’re going to see each other next, Lilly.”

Anxiety raced with desire for him. She told herself to get a grip. “I can’t discuss anything right now. I have too little time. I still have my hair and makeup to do, and I have to get my flute and drive down there.”

For a moment, her mind played with the fantasy of letting the two of them pick her up, take her away from all her troubles forever. But what would that mean? Abandoning her mother? Breaking up the relationship between the two of them that was obviously so special? Living in the Fae Realm, where everything would surely be completely alien to her, maybe even frightening?

“We need to talk now.” His dark tone made her shiver, made her blood pump hard and heavy in her veins.

“Leave it, Nick. Let’s get her to her ballet.” The kindness in Kris’s voice contrasted with Nick’s dominance and authority. “I wish we could come and hear you play, Lilly, but you know…Christmas Eve, Santa’s sons. We’ve got a lot to help Dad with.”

His words almost broke the tension between her and Nick. She turned away from Nick’s intense gaze.

“Thanks, Kris. I understand.”

Kris stepped out of the sleigh, then reached for her hand. She took it and let him guide her down to the sidewalk outside the home she shared with her mother. Turning back to face Nick, she tried to explain her haste. “This ballet is important to me, Nick.”

His expression darkened like a thundercloud. “It’s not the goddamn
Nutcracker Suite
I have a problem with, and you know it. I just want you to know you don’t have to go back to that strip club, and Kris and I—”

She cut over him. “I have to go now.” She put her hand on Nick’s and gave it a quick squeeze. “Really, thank you both so much for this amazing, incredible night. I’ll never forget either of you.”

She turned away from them, tears in her eyes, her heart aching to be with them. This was like ripping off a Band-Aid. It was better to end it now. Better before she got in any deeper. The sooner she accepted that, the better. She needed to get back into work mode and concentrate on tonight’s orchestral performance, concentrate on Tchaikovsky, concentrate on the
music
. All her life, music had helped keep heartache at bay.

As she reached down to pick up her handbag, Nick’s fingers skimmed her jaw, and her heart did a long, slow somersault and slammed up against her ribs. He slid a hand through her hair as he angled his head toward hers. “Good-bye for now, Lilly.”

The kiss Nick gave her started out gentle and then went deeper. Even after all the lovemaking, the rush of feelings that geysered up through her heart and mind stunned her. He eased gently back. Questions filled his eyes, and Kris gazed at her with puzzlement and yearning too.

The other reason, the most important reason she didn’t get into relationships, lay on her tongue. But she wouldn’t say it. She was so tired of trying to explain it and having no one fully understand.

Nick could tell from the guarded look in her eyes that there was more Lilly wasn’t saying. It suddenly occurred to him what wasn’t being said.

“So, about this stalker. You think we’re just going to let you walk out of our lives when we know you’re in some kind of danger?”

She looked down at her feet. “I don’t know if I’m in danger. This has been going on since I was a little girl, and I’m still here, aren’t I? I’m still alive. He hasn’t killed or seriously injured me. Really.” She yanked on her wool coat. “It’s not something you should worry about.”

“I don’t understand how you can just keep blowing this off. You act like all sorts of horrible things are nothing, are okay with you, like you deserve to be treated like dirt or something. It makes me angry.”

He watched her eyes go from wary to devastated, and then she was blinking hard, blinking back real tears.

Shock gripped him for a second. He never knew how to handle a woman’s tears. Nick turned to Kris, who put his arms around Lilly. Awkwardly, he gathered the two of them close in his own arms.

“Shh, babe.” He stroked her hair. “Who the hell is this bastard, and what has he done to you?”

“I don’t know. That’s the most frustrating thing. I just don’t know. He’s some sicko who wants to control someone’s life. He gets off on scaring me, I guess. And insulting me. I don’t even want to tell people the messages he leaves for me because they’re just embarrassing. It’s always stuff about me being trash or a whore or something.” She gave an ironic snort. “I guess after you’ve both seen me working in a strip club, those insults might not seem too far off the mark to you?”

Kris gripped her shoulder and turned her to face him. “Nick and I don’t think that way. You know that.”

“It’s a horrible, continuous invasion of my privacy. It never stops hurting, and I never feel safe.”

Everything within Nick froze. He could only stare down at her as her silent tears dampened the sleeve of his shirt. Then the ice broke, replaced by a violent, raw fury. He struggled to keep calm. Shame suffused him as he realized how much anger he’d been expressing toward her reluctance to have a relationship. He’d been acting like a beast, and here she was so hurt, so vulnerable.