Wild Heart (Viper's Heart Duet Book 2) (18 page)

“How do you think I feel, Viper?” Michelle blurted out as tears ran down her cheeks. “I find out I’m pregnant, but because of the timing of everything else, I can’t even talk to you about it because all you do is hide out up in the bedroom! Even when you
do
finally come down here you’re grumpy and barely talk to me.”

“Yeah, I know exactly how you feel. Brody told me. Thanks for
that,
by the way,” I snapped.

“Thanks for what?” she glared at me. “Talking to your best friend and telling him I was worried about you? If you think I’m going to apologize for that, you’re dead wrong. I
am
worried about you. You don’t eat, you don’t talk to anyone, you barely get out of bed. I didn’t know what else to do!” Her voice trailed off as more tears fell from her eyes.

“Well, this sure adds another layer of topping to the situation, doesn’t it?” I hissed. “Did you tell Brody about this, too? Who else knows? Gam? Kacie? Jodi?”

“No one else knows,” she said softly, dabbing her eyes again. “I wanted to tell you before anyone else.”

“Well, now I know, so you might as well sing it from the rooftops.” I stood up straight and threw my hands in the air. “Viper is getting screwed again!”

Michelle narrowed her eyes at me and took a couple steps closer, shaking her head. “I can’t believe you’re acting like this. I seriously can’t. Ya know, if you don’t want to stick around, don’t. I can handle being a single mom. I’ve done it before.”

“Yeah,” I scoffed. “For all of five minutes.”

Her hand landed hard against the side of my face. “How
dare you
say something to me like that? Get out! Get out right now!” Sobs fell from her mouth uncontrollably as she put her shaky hands over her eyes.

“Momma?” Maura walked up to her and pulled on her pants. “Momma okay?”

My face stung and my head throbbed.

I wanted to bend down and scoop Maura up and tell her that her mommy was fine. I wanted to put my arms around Michelle and tell her that everything would work out. I wanted to go back in time twenty minutes and not react the way I had. I wanted to go back in time even further and not answer her fucking phone in the first place.

But it happened. It had all happened, and there was no way to make it go away.

So instead I did the one thing I knew how to do best.

I left.

I slumped down into the kitchen chair and pulled Maura onto my lap.

“Momma okay?” she asked for the third time, staring up at me with big eyes.

I sniffed and gave her my best fake smile as I tucked a wild curl behind her ear. “Yes, baby. Mommy’s okay.”

But I wasn’t okay. I wasn’t even a
little
okay. The last twenty minutes had gone so horrifically wrong that my head was spinning and I felt sick to my stomach. I swallowed the puke that was attempting to climb up my throat, determined to keep it together for Maura. She’d already seen, and heard, way more than I ever wanted her to, and having another meltdown was not an option. She put her head against my chest and we rocked back and forth slowly.

My hands shook as I picked up my phone and sent Taylor a text.

Hey, I’m not feeling great. Is there any way you can grab Matthew from school for me and let him play at your apartment for a bit?

My whole body tingled with adrenaline and fear. Adrenaline from the confrontation with Viper. In the whole year we’d been together, we’d never had a fight like that. Not even close. And fear for my future. Fear for Matthew’s and Maura’s futures. Fear for the future of the tiny baby inside of me who I already loved just as much as the other two, even though he or she was only about the size of a kidney bean.

Could I do it alone if I had to?

Yes.

Did I want to?

No.

When I’d first taken the pregnancy test a couple of weeks ago and saw those two pink lines, I had a little freak-out of my own. Sitting alone in the bathroom, on the edge of the tub, I panicked.

What would Viper think?

What would he say?

Am I ready for three kids under the age of six?

But . . . as quickly as the panic came, it left. Common sense crashed over my anxiety like a wave over a match, and I started to think about my life, but more importantly—my boyfriend. On the outside, Viper was all tattoos, trucker mouth, and a razor-sharp edge, but on the inside, he was caring and sweet and loved harder than almost anyone I’d ever met. In that moment, I
knew
everything would be just fine.

And now, just a couple weeks later, I wasn’t sure about anything anymore.

My phone beeped loudly, scaring me half to death.

Maura flinched, too, then immediately relaxed again, and I could tell by the weight of her body that she was asleep. Holding her head against me, I carefully stood and carried her over to the couch. I laid her down, pulled the blanket over her shoulders, and kissed her soft cheek.

I sat on the other end of the couch and checked my phone. I’d said a quick little prayer as I walked Maura over that hopefully it was Viper and he’d cooled down and was going to come home so we could talk . . . but it wasn’t him.

Taylor:
      
Hey! Sorry, I was in the shower. Sure! I can totally grab him. I don’t work until 6, so I can drop him off before then?

That’s perfect! Thanks so much!

Taylor:
      
No problem! Feel better!

Not likely.

Taylor had no idea I was pregnant, and to be honest, I was nervous to tell her. She’d been so helpful with Matthew and Maura since her big brother’s death, and she supported my relationship with Viper completely, but having a baby with another man was an entirely different story. Unless I was going to be having a baby
without
that man.

My mind drifted back to Viper and my eyes welled up with tears at the thought of all the moments that wouldn’t happen the way I thought they would. Viper and his goofy smile when he saw his baby on the monitor for the first time during an ultrasound. Him rubbing my protruding belly and pampering me in a way that only Viper knew how. The look on his face as he watched his son or daughter enter the world . . . then cut the cord. And the moment I was looking forward to probably more than any other: the first time he fell asleep with our baby sleeping on his chest. In my head, I already knew where I was going to put that picture in the house, and now that picture might never even be taken.

I curled up in a ball and lay down, letting the tears flow freely down my cheeks and drop onto the couch until I fell asleep.

The doorbell rang over and over and over, pulling me straight out of a deep sleep. I sat up in a hurry, not really sure where I was or what time it was. I blinked hard and looked around the room, waiting for my eyes to focus and relay the information to my brain. Maura was still asleep on the couch, but the loud doorbell made her roll over and moan.

Maybe it’s Viper.

My heart sprang into my throat as I stood and hurried to the front door. I rounded the corner and tried not to look disappointed when I saw Matthew’s grinning face looking back at me through the glass. I wasn’t sad that it was him, but I was sad that it wasn’t Viper.

“Hey!” I greeted as I pulled the door back.

Without even a hello, Matthew sprinted past me toward the back of the house. My eyes followed him until he disappeared around the corner. “Wow. Hello to you, too.” I giggled and turned back to Taylor.

“I’m so sorry,” she rambled, shaking her head. “I tried to call and text, but you didn’t answer. I got called in to work early.”

“Oh my God. Taylor, I’m so sorry.” I rubbed my eyes with the heels of my palm. “I totally crashed on the couch with Maura and didn’t even hear my phone ring.”

“I called Viper, but he didn’t answer either.” She handed me Matthew’s coat and backpack.

“You called him?”

She nodded.

“Did you leave a message?”

“Yeah.” She shrugged.

“What did you say?”

Her eyes scanned the room quickly and then returned to mine. “I just said that I couldn’t get a hold of you but that I needed to drop Matthew off early. Could he tell you to call me. Why?”

“I was just curious.” I shoved my hands in my back pockets and tried to act normal.

Taylor knew better. She narrowed her eyes at me and slowly turned her head, just a little. “What’s going on with you?”

“Nothing,” I lied. “I’m fine.”

“No, you’re not. I can see it. Something’s up. Are you okay?”

My chin started to quiver and I felt myself losing control again. Keeping my composure was next to impossible when I was already upset and someone asked if I was okay. It was permission to my brain to open the floodgates and let it all back out, no matter how hard I tried to keep it in.

“No, you’re not okay,” she continued, her expression softening as she stepped forward. “What’s going on?”

“It’s nothing.” I waved, offering up another fake smile. “Really. I promise.”

She put her hands on my shoulders and stared me straight in the eye. “
Nothing
doesn’t make your chin quiver and
nothing
doesn’t bring tears to your eyes. Tell me.”

“Viper and I got into a fight—a
big
fight—and I told him to leave.” I struggled to get the words out and keep my sob in.

“I don’t understand.” She dropped her hands and shook her head slowly as her eyes searched my face. “You two never fight. What was it about?”

I wrapped my arms around myself to hide my shaking hands. “Uh . . . well . . . he found out I’m pregnant, and the news didn’t go as well as I was hoping.”

Her mouth fell open. “You’re pregnant?”

I swallowed hard and nodded.

“Congratulations!” she cheered and pulled me in for a hug. “I know you’re sad right now and we’ll get back to that, but I’m so happy for you and about this, so I just have to hug you first.”

Her reaction made me feel a thousand times better, but also made my cry harder. We stood in the foyer, her arms wrapped around me, as I sobbed and sobbed against her shoulder. After what felt like an hour, I pulled back and turned toward the powder room. I pulled a handful of tissues from the box and blew my nose. Then I grabbed another handful and wiped my eyes before returning to Taylor.

“Sorry about that.” I tried wiping my tears from her shirt but they’d already soaked in.

“Oh God, I don’t care about my shirt. I’m worried about
you.
”

She watched me like a hawk as I dabbed at my eyes again. It didn’t seem to matter what I did, the tears would
not
stop coming.

“Hang on one second, okay?” she said as she pulled her phone from her back pocket and stepped into the living room.

I walked to the back of the house to check on Matthew, hoping my meltdown hadn’t totally freaked him out. He was sitting on the couch, quietly playing a game on his Kindle as Maura leaned her head against his shoulder and watched him.

“Okay.” Taylor walked up behind me. “I called in.”

I spun to face her. “What? No! Don’t do that. I’m fine . . . I promise.”

“I’m sure you are,” she agreed. “But I’m going to help you out around here tonight just in case. We’re gonna feed these kiddos dinner in a while, tuck them into bed, and you’re going to fill me in on everything, got it?”

I nodded. “Thanks, Tay.”

“Anytime.” She gave me a tight smile and sat with the kids on the couch.

I looked past her into the kitchen and my eyes focused on Viper’s pill bottle on the island. As angry as I was at him for his reaction, I didn’t want him to be in pain all night. I picked up the bottle and read the label closely. “Every four hours . . .” I mumbled to myself as I glanced at the clock on the stove. He’d already been gone for almost five.