Wild Heart (Viper's Heart Duet Book 2) (29 page)

“Some other man will be holding your girl’s hand and carrying your kids through the park . . .”
Sherman’s words from earlier that day suddenly had a very different meaning.

“Do you know where I was yesterday?” Kacie came back again.

I shook my head.

Kacie raised one eyebrow. “I was at the doctor, with her. She was bleeding, so they told her to come in.”

I had many emotions running throughout my whole body, but when Kacie said that Michelle had been bleeding, ice ran through my veins and froze out everything else. “Is she okay?”

“Yep, she’s fine . . . thank God.” Kacie opened her purse and slid a black and white picture across the table so angrily it bounced off my chest. “So is your
son.
”

Brody marched over to the table. “Okay, that’s enough. You clearly need to go up to bed and sleep this off.” He gently took Kacie by the arm and lifted her.

“I’m not going to bed, it’s not even eight o’clock yet,” she argued.

“I know, but let’s just close our eyes and sleep all this anger off, okay?” Brody said. “I’ll be back, Viper.”

I heard their muffled voices arguing all the way up the stairs, but I didn’t give two shits what they were saying. I stared down at the grainy black and white photo of a silhouette . . . of my son.
My
son. My hand shook as I brought the picture closer to my face, desperately wanting to see it better. Suddenly, in that moment, sitting at Brody and Kacie’s kitchen table . . . I was furious.

Furious at myself for acting like a selfish prick after I’d gotten hurt.

Furious at myself for blowing up at Michelle when I’d found out she was pregnant.

Furious at myself for not telling her about Kat.

Furious at myself for not calling her sooner.

Furious at myself for not going up to her door Thanksgiving morning.

Furious at myself for not being there when she’d been bleeding and scared.

But most of all, furious at myself for not being in that room with her when she’d heard the news that we were having a son.

I stared down at that picture of my son. “I’m so sorry,” I said as my eyes stung. “I’m so sorry I wasn’t there for your mom and your brother and sister. I’m so sorry I wasn’t there for you.” I blinked back a tear, got up, and left Brody’s house without saying a word . . . and I took the picture of my son with me.

“But, Momma, I don’t understand. We just had turkey and now we’re singing Christmas songs,” Matthew complained as I stuck the comb under water and brushed it through his hair, trying to calm his crazy bedhead.

“I know, buddy. It’s hard to explain. Your school goes on break for a month, so they have to have your show kinda early, but Christmas still isn’t for a couple of weeks. And they’re holiday songs, not Christmas songs, remember?” I kissed the side of his head as I took him off the counter and set him on the floor. “Go find somewhere to sit completely still, please. I’ll be ready in just a minute.”

I threw on my stretchy jeans, boots, and oversized red sweater and looked at myself in the mirror. “How is it that my belly seems to have doubled in size overnight?” I said out loud with a sigh.

“Your tummy
is
big, Momma!”

I jumped and turned around. Matthew stood in the doorway with a big smile on his face. “You scared me, you little monster!” I reached out and pulled him to my side.

He raised his hand and set it on my stomach. “What’s in there anyway?”

Matthew was a smart kid. He’d asked a couple of times about my growing tummy and I’d been able to change the subject and avoid his answer, but with Maura down for her morning nap and him and I alone, it just felt like the right time.

“Come with me, honey.” I took his hand and we walked out to my room. I sat on the chair in the corner and pulled him onto my lap. “Okay, you wanna know why mommy’s tummy is getting big?”

He looked up at me and nodded.

“It’s because there’s a baby growing in there.”

His eyes bulged and he leaned back and stared down at my stomach. “There is?”

“Mmhmm.” I nodded. “And do you know what else? That baby is a little boy. You’re going to have a baby brother.”

He let out a tiny gasp. “I was gonna ask Santa for a brother!”

My heart overflowed. I knew that he’d probably just made that up, but I didn’t even care. “You were?”

He nodded. “When does he come out?”

“Not for a while yet. He’s gotta grow big and healthy first.”

“Okay,” he said, sounding a little sad.

“I know it’s hard to wait, but it’ll be worth it. I promise. Now, go sit and wait for me. I just have to brush my teeth, grab Maura, and we’ll leave for your party.”

He hopped off my lap and headed toward the door as I walked to the bathroom.

“Hey, Momma?” he called back.

“Yes, buddy?” I stopped in the bathroom doorway and leaned back.

“How did that baby get
in
your tummy?”

“Uh . . .” I stammered. “You know what? I’m worried that we’re gonna be late, so let’s talk about that part later, okay?”

“Okay.” He turned and walked down the hall, and I breathed a sigh of relief.

His classroom was decorated so perfectly with blue, glittery snowflakes hanging from the ceiling and construction paper mittens taped to the walls.

Miss Lori, Matthew’s teacher, asked all the parents to sit in the chairs and face the small riser that was along the far wall. I sat in the front row, down at the end, just in case I needed to get up and deal with an unpredictable toddler.

As the parents took their seats, Miss Lori took her spot at the piano. Matthew and all of his classmates giggled nervously and waved at their parents. Miss Lori turned and whispered something to them, then counted to three. When she got to three, they all began singing “Frosty the Snowman” as she played the tune on the piano. At first Matthew was shy and stared at the ground, but by the second verse, he was belting the song out as loud and proud as he could.

“Five Little Snowflakes” was up next, and Maura was happily clapping along and wiggling her little booty as much as she could from my lap as I tried to video with my phone. They were on the third little snowflake when Matthew looked toward the classroom door and his face lit up.

“Viper!” he called out above all the other kids singing.

I dropped my phone in my lap and followed him with my eyes as he sprinted to the door and leaped into Viper’s arms. Viper scooped him up and closed his eyes as they squeezed each other. Miss Lori kept playing the song, but the other kids were so distracted by what was going on that they eventually trailed off. The piano stopped as Viper set Matthew down.

“Go finish singing, bud. I’ll talk to you after, okay?” he said.

Matthew nodded and excitedly bounced back to his spot on the step. Viper stood and scanned the group of parents until our eyes met. “Sorry about that,” he apologized to the parents with a wave as he walked past them and sat in the chair next to me.

My throat felt like it was going to close up and my whole body tingled with anxiety. Never in a million years did I expect Viper to show up at Matthew’s school program. I didn’t look at him as he sat down, but the minute Maura saw him, she reached her arms out for him.

“Hey, sweet baby!” he said as he shifted her onto his lap and kissed her cheek at least a dozen times.

I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t know what to do. Part of me wanted to get up and leave, but I couldn’t pull Matthew from his performance, nor did I want to make a huge scene. Matthew kept looking over at Viper with a big grin on his face to make sure he was watching him sing, and I just tried to breathe normally. My hands were shaking so bad I rolled them into fists so that no one else would see. But someone did see. Viper saw. He reached over and wrapped his hand around mine. I still refused to look over at him, but I didn’t pull back. Not only was Matthew watching us like a hawk, as much as I didn’t want to admit it, it felt amazing to have his warm hand covering mine. I’d had zero contact with him in over a month, but my body craved his touch, which was something I couldn’t turn off, no matter how hard I tried.

As tears stung my eyes, I tried to focus on Matthew and the absolute joy that was on his face as he belted out song after song.

The singing part ended and the food part began. Parents stood around and made small talk as the kids feasted on cheese and crackers, cookies, fruit, and popcorn. Maura wanted nothing to do with me and I had yet to make eye contact with Viper again. As the party wrapped up, I led the way as Matthew skipped to the coatroom and grabbed his jacked from his cubby. Viper and Maura followed us.

“Viper, are you coming home with us?” Matthew asked innocently.

My heart climbed into my throat and clung to the side of it for dear life. No matter how many times I swallowed, I couldn’t get it to go back down. I was terrified he was going to say yes, but even more terrified he was going to say no.

“Yeah, buddy. I am,” Viper answered. Matthew threw his little hands in the air and spun in a circle, nearly falling over. Viper lifted his eyes to mine and spoke softly. “Is that okay with you?”

“It’s fine. They miss you,” I answered dryly, refusing to admit that I missed him, too.

The whole way home I kept checking my rearview mirror, half-expecting that he would change his mind and bolt again. But he didn’t. I pulled my car into the garage and he pulled his into the driveway right behind me.

He followed us into the house and I had no idea what I was going to say. I wanted to yell. I wanted to cry. I wanted to punch him in the face. I wanted him to hold me. I was a fucking mess, and I had no idea which Michelle was going to take over.

As soon as we were in the house, Matthew started talking to Viper a mile a minute and didn’t stop for at least an hour. Maura also refused to leave Viper’s arms, even fussing when he put her down for one minute to use the bathroom. As soon as he was out, she clung to him again. I mostly stayed in the kitchen, folding laundry and avoiding Viper’s stare every time he looked over at me. After a little while, I noticed the family room was quiet. Matthew and Maura had both fallen asleep with their heads lying on Viper’s shoulders. He shot me a small smile as I walked over and picked Maura up to carry her to her room. He carefully held Matthew’s head as he slid out from under him.

“Want me to take her up?” he offered, holding his hands out.

“Nope, I got her.”

“You sure?”

I gave him a quick glare. “Yeah. They’re
my
kids, remember?” Before he could answer I turned and hustled up to Maura’s room. I expected him to be gone when I went back downstairs, but he was sitting at the kitchen island.

“Are you leaving or what?” I asked, leaning my back against the kitchen counter.

“I was kinda hoping I could stay and we could talk?” His eyes were soft and pained. It was hard to be mad at him when he looked like that.

“Fine. Talk.”

“Michelle . . . I’ve thought over and over about what I was going to say to you when I saw you, but now that you’re in front of me, I just want to hug you. Can I hug you?”

“No.”

He nodded slowly. “I know that my apology doesn’t mean shit to you right now, but I want you to know from the bottom of my heart how sorry I am about everything. The way I acted when you told me about the baby, for not checking in this whole time, for the way I acted before all of this even started. I’m sorry for all of it, Michelle.”

I pinched my lips together and watched him as he spoke. I waited for him to break eye contact and look away, but he never did. He delivered his apology and was more sincere than I’d probably ever heard him, but that wasn’t enough to make over a month’s worth of anger disappear.

I took a long, deep breath through my nose, trying to choose my words carefully. “You’ve been gone for weeks, Viper. Weeks. Not a couple hours, not a couple days.
Weeks.
And now you stroll into Matthew’s school and my house like nothing ever happened?”

He shook his head. “It’s not like nothing ever happened. I know I fucked up. Trust me, I know that. But I want to make it better.”