Wild Heart (Viper's Heart Duet Book 2) (26 page)

Fucking crushing.

Add to that not being able to build Legos with Matthew or read books to Maura or a million other little things I’d taken for granted and I had to leave. Sitting on that street, staring at that house, knowing they were inside was gut-wrenching. They were less than a hundred yards from me. I could have been at the door within one minute, but I didn’t know what to say. I also didn’t want to make Michelle mad and totally ruin her Thanksgiving.

Instead, I started my car and left, drove straight to McDonald’s, and ate alone in my car before heading home and not leaving my bed the whole night.

Frankly, other than to go to therapy, I didn’t really leave my house—or my bed—for the next week. Then I got a text from Andy.

Andy:
      
Hey! I’m gonna pick you up at about 4 p.m. Be ready.

I quickly tried to remember if we had plans but came up with nothing.

For what?

Andy:
      
You haven’t been to a game since you got hurt. It’s been long enough and you’re going to make an appearance there tonight. You still need to cheer on your team.

I do cheer them on. I watch every fucking game!

Andy:
      
That doesn’t mean shit. They need to see you there. With them. Be ready at 4, and that’s an order.

Andy
was
my agent, but I hated when he acted like it. I also knew that when he told us to do something, we didn’t have a choice. At all.

Fine.

It wasn’t that I didn’t want to go to the game—those guys were my brothers—but I didn’t really know what to say to them either. Most of them had called and texted after my surgery, but I’d ignored them. Brody had come by my house, but we got into a fight. These guys were all hockey players, but I didn’t feel like one anymore, so what the hell did I even talk to them about?

Four o’clock snuck up on me pretty fast. I threw on a Wild hoodie and jeans and walked out the front door. As I walked down the sidewalk toward his car, Andy rolled his window down.

“What the hell are you wearing?”

I looked down at myself and back up at him. “What?”

“Get back in the house and put your damn jersey on!”

I rolled my eyes and turned back to the house without saying a word. My closet was a total disaster and I couldn’t find anything in there. After five minutes of kicking dirty clothes around and snapping hangers in frustration, it dawned on me. My jersey was still at Michelle’s house.

I prepared myself for a fight with Andy and left my room.

“Dude. What the fuck?” Andy’s words startled me. I hadn’t even heard him come in.

“What now?”

He was standing in the kitchen, his eyes slowly scanning the piles of pizza boxes and empty Chinese food containers that were stacked high and covering most of my counters.

“This.” He motioned toward the garbage with horrified eyes. “Is this all you’ve been doing for the last month? Eating crap and letting your life waste away?”

“Listen, if your plan is to lecture me all night, then you can just go by yourself. I’m in no mood for this shit.”

“I don’t want to lecture you, Viper, but look at this. You’re out of control,” he exclaimed.

“I’m not out of control!”

He glared at me. “Have you even been going to therapy?”

“Yes!” I yelled back. “I go all the fucking time! It’s practically all I do.”

Andy put one hand on his hip and sighed as he ran the other one through his hair and looked down toward the ground. “I’m worried about you, Viper.” His head raised and he stared back at me. “You’re not just my client, you’re one of my best friends. And you’re acting so erratic that I’m worried about you. Not just your career. Fuck your career at this point. I’m worried about
you.
”

“Don’t worry about me,” I grumbled. “I’ll be fine.”

“I have serious doubts about that, but we’ll have to talk about it later because we’re gonna be late. Grab your jersey and let’s go.”

“I don’t have it.” I shook my head. “It’s at Michelle’s.”

He pulled his lips in and pinched them tight as he inhaled deeply through his nose, making sure I heard his annoyance. “Fine. Whatever. Let’s go.”

We didn’t talk much on the way there. It was awkward and quiet—a lot like the rest of my life at the moment.

As soon as we pulled into the players’ lot at the stadium, my pulse quickened. My body knew where we were and it was responding.

“You excited?” Andy asked as we made our way down the concourse toward the locker room.

I put my hands in my pocket and shrugged. “I don’t know what I am. Nervous. Excited. I feel like I’m gonna barf, so that’s something.”

He let out a loud laugh and punched my shoulder. “You got this. I know it’s probably weird to be back here, but you have to know these guys are dying to see you.”

“I hope so.” I nodded.

The closer we got to the locker room, the louder the music from inside grew. My heart slammed against my chest as we got to the door.

Andy looked over at me. “You want to go in first?”

“Uh . . .” I stammered and took a deep breath, puffing my cheeks out.

He put his hand on my shoulder. “I got this.”

He walked through the door ahead of me and I lowered my head, staring at the back of his feet as I followed.

“Holy shit!” a familiar voice called out. “It’s Viper!”

I looked up to see Louie, wearing only a T-shirt and nothing else, walking toward me with his arms open. Several other guys called my name and cheered and followed Louie my direction. The next several minutes were spent giving high-fives and hugs and filling all the guys in on the latest with my knee.

“I’m so glad to see you here, man.” Louie slammed his hands on my shoulders.

I leaned back and glanced down at his junk. “Not
that
excited though, huh? Tiny Louie is still pretty tiny.”

“Fuck you!” he said with a laugh.

The crowd dispersed and everyone went back to suiting up for the game. Over in the corner, I noticed Brody sitting on the bench, putting new tape on his stick. I walked over and nudged him in the shoulder from behind.

“Hey.”

“Hey,” he answered without looking up at me.

“How’s it going?”

“Fine.”

It was obvious that he didn’t want to talk to me and the last thing I wanted was to fight with him before a game, so I just walked away. Andy shot me a shrug and patted my shoulder as I walked past him out to the ice. The game didn’t start for a little while, so the stadium was still fairly empty except for the guys skating around and the vendors starting to set up. I stood in the doorway that led from the bench out to the ice and took a deep breath, inhaling the smell of the rink that I missed so much.

“Excuse me,” Brody said gruffly as he brushed past me. I stepped far to my right and tried to stay out of the way. A minute later, Coach Collins came out from the tunnel, too. His eyes scanned the ice as he took mental stock of everyone who was there. He was just about to walk back into the tunnel when he noticed me.

“Finkle!” A big smile grew across his face and he hurried over. “Good to see you upright without crutches!”

“Thanks,” I answered as he pulled me in for a big hug.

“How’s it feeling?”

I shrugged. “Feels great. No pain except for soreness after therapy. I’m making pretty good progress, too, and it’s only been a little over a month.”

“I’m glad to hear it.” He nodded and pushed his glasses back up his nose. “Keep working hard, because we miss you out there. We’ve got some good guys, but it’s just not the same. You give this team an energy when you’re out there that no one else can replace.”

“Thanks, Coach.”

Damn, that was nice to hear.

“All right, I’ve got some stuff to do still before the game.” He started to walk away but turned back to me after a few steps. “You’re sticking around, right? We’ve lost three games in a row. We could use a shake up on the bench.”

“I’m sticking around,” I answered, trying to keep my smile in check. It felt good to hear Coach say he missed me, on both the ice and the bench.

Once the game started, I struggled to keep up with all the excitement. Who knew that spending a whole month lying in bed would zap your stamina and turn you into a sloth?

Thankfully, the adrenaline kicked in when the energy ran out. Before the first period was over, I was bouncing up and down the bench, slapping guys on the helmet and turning toward the crowd, waving my arms for them to stand on their feet. I knew my knee would hurt like hell the next day, but I didn’t care.

During a time-out in the second period, I was listening to Coach Collins rile the guys up when all of a sudden, the crowd started cheering loudly. I lifted my head and looked to see if someone had launched something down to the ice. Louie elbowed me and nodded up toward the big screen above the ice. My face was on the screen. The fans were cheering for
me!
I raised my hands above my head, pumped them in the air, and the cheers roared to a deafening level. Being in that building, being with my team, being with those fans pumped some life back into my dead heart. I felt a small piece of myself returning.

The Wild’s losing streak came to an end that night. The Wild Anthem belted from the speakers as I high-fived all the guys on their way into the tunnel, and then the celebration continued for another hour in the locker room.

As Andy drove me home, I couldn’t stop my mind from racing or my legs and hands from twitching. A bright blue current of electricity coursed through my veins, and I couldn’t sit still, no matter how hard I tried.

I got home and decided to scrub my kitchen top to bottom, throwing out four huge bags of garbage. I also began making a mental list of all the shit I needed to do to put my life back together.

It was no secret that the number one thing on my list was also going to be the toughest. As bad as I wanted to, I couldn’t just march in and demand my family back. Michelle was a lot of things. She was strong, she was caring, and she was forgiving . . . but I might have pushed her too far.

Even so, I knew one thing for sure. If I was going down, it wouldn’t be without the fight of a lifetime.

“Momma! Momma!” Matthew sprinted down the hall and flew onto my bed.

I blinked several times, trying to get my eyes to adjust after being startled awake. “What’s wrong, buddy?”

“Come with me.” He tugged on my arm and tried to pull me to a sitting position.

“Come with you? Where?” I glanced at my phone. “Matthew! It’s not even six o’clock yet.”

“To the window!” he said excitedly, ignoring my complaint.

While I climbed out of bed slowly, he bounced around in front of me, clapping his hands. I reached out and took his hands in mine. “No clapping. If Maura wakes up, I’ll cry. Okay?”

He gave me a huge grin and nodded as he dragged me to the window and pulled back the curtain. “Look!” he exclaimed.

“Whoa,” I said in a whisper as my eyebrows shot up and I leaned toward the glass. We’d had an unusually mild November and I knew the winter weather would be coming eventually, but apparently I’d missed the memo. A fresh blanket of snow covered the whole world outside my window. It was calm and glistening and absolutely beautiful. I’d always loved the way the snow looked first thing in the morning before the cars started driving over it and people walked through it.

“Can we go play in it?” Matthew asked.

“We can . . . in a little while. It’s still early.” I cupped his head and pulled him against me. “Hey, I have an idea.”