Wild Heart (Viper's Heart Duet Book 2) (28 page)

He looked down at himself and back up at me. “You don’t like my outfit?”

“Is that what we’re calling it?” I answered with a laugh.

“You’re just jealous that you can’t pull something like this off. Now, shut up and get your ass on the bike!” He pointed.

I went over and did my ten minutes, just like I had done at the beginning of every therapy session for the last six weeks. My time on the bike had become both a blessing and a curse. I was forced to sit in one spot with no distractions. If Sherman saw me on my phone, he’d walk over and take it away, so I didn’t even bother pulling it out anymore. I sat on the uncomfortable bike seat and rode while I stared out the window and took stock of my life, or what was left of it.

“What’s your deal today, grumpy pants?” Sherman asked, interrupting my thoughts.

I turned toward him. “Grumpy pants? Who says I’m grumpy?”

He arched one eyebrow at me. “With you . . . it’s obvious.”

I rolled my eyes and hopped off the bike. “I’m fine. Come on, kick my ass today.”

“Gladly,” he mumbled and walked with me to the mat in the corner.

My face flushed and sweat beaded on my forehead as I worked my way through leg presses and lateral lunges.

“Let’s head over to the stair machine for a bit,” Sherman said once my sets were done.

“The stair machine? Really?” I complained.

He took my hand and pulled me up from the floor before he turned me and gave me a gentle shove toward the stair machine. “Quit your bitching and move it.”

The stair machine kicked my ass. Within three minutes the sweat that had previously been on my forehead was now dripping onto my T-shirt and I was panting like a fool.

I watched in the mirror as Sherman took the hands of Emily, one of the other therapists, and danced around the room to Stevie Wonder. He spun and twirled her as she threw her head back, laughing wildly.

After a few minutes, he huffed and puffed his way back over to me. “How’s it going?” he asked breathlessly as he looked at my screen.

“Sherman.” I shook my head slowly. “What is your deal?”

He tilted his head to the side. “My deal?”

“Yeah. The crazy outfits . . . your ridiculously happy mood all the time . . . what’s your deal?”

He stared at my reflection in the mirror and took a deep breath. His voice lowered. “I wasn’t always a happy man, Viper. I was actually a very miserable man for over half of my life.”

I frowned back at him. “You? Miserable? I don’t buy it.”

He pressed his lips together and nodded, his face serious. “It’s true. Very true. Here, come with me.” Reaching across me, he stopped the stair machine and nodded his head toward the e-stim table.

“We’re done already?” I asked as I hopped up.

“You asked a question, and now I’m gonna answer it.” He put the sticky things on my knee, connected the wires, wrapped me in ice, and turned it on. “So. I was married right outta high school.”

I lifted my head and looked at him incredulously. “To a
woman?
”

“Shut up and lie down.” He pushed my forehead down until I was lying flat against the table again. “Yes, to a woman! Anyway, we married young and I went off to work. That’s what I was supposed to do, take care of her and our two kids.”

“You have kids?”

He sighed and put his hands on his hips. “Did you go to kindergarten?”

“Kindergarten? Yeah.”

“Were you absent the day they taught kids that it isn’t polite to interrupt? Hush!”

I rolled my eyes and shut my mouth.

“So I went off to work, but I was resentful. Angry. I wasn’t even ready to be a husband, but before I knew it, I was also a father. So I started drinking . . . a lot. The more I drank, the more I retreated from real life. Eventually I started missing work, and then I lost my job. She took the kids and went to live with her parents while I rotted in our house until the bank eventually took it.”

My heart sank. I wanted to tell him to stop talking but my mouth wouldn’t open. I needed to hear the rest.

“She divorced me and I couch surfed at friends’ houses for several more months. One day, I woke up and decided that I was done. I was lonely and missed my family, so I went to get them back.” He paused and stared down at the table, pulling his brows down low. “But I was too late . . . she’d already moved on. I went to see her and she had a new ring on her finger. My daughters looked at me like I was a stranger, and my wife looked at me with hate in her eyes. I walked away from that house and never went back.”

“Never?”

He shook his head. “I went back to school and got my dream job, and eventually I started smiling again. Then I smiled a little more, then a little more. But it took a
long
time. And now, I wake up every day and decide to be happy.”

“What about the days you feel like shit and just don’t care?”

“Those are the days I pick out the wackiest outfits,” he said with a wink. “Because everyone around me laughs, and ultimately, that lifts my mood.” I was so invested in his story, I’d forgotten all about my knee. He lifted the ice and started peeling the tabs off. “Okay. You know my story, now tell me yours.”

I wasn’t as open as Sherman, but after all that, I couldn’t not tell him anything. “There’s a girl in my life, and we’re having some problems. I’m kinda shutting her out at the moment because I don’t know how to handle my problems.”

He stood up and crossed his arms. “Is she worth fighting for?”

I didn’t even have to think about that answer. “Yes.”

He raised his eyebrows quickly. “Then you better fight fast. Or else one day, you’ll go back and some other man will be holding your girl’s hand and carrying your kids through the park.”

I had no idea I could learn so much from a man who wore heart-shaped sunglasses.

After therapy, I drove straight to Brody’s. I didn’t care that it was almost dinnertime and I might be interrupting. I needed to talk to him.

Brody and I had never gone two days without talking, let alone more than two weeks. I took a deep breath and climbed the front steps of his porch.

As soon as I rang the bell, I heard kids squealing and screaming as they sprinted toward the front door. “Quiet down or I’m giving you to whoever is on the other side!” Brody hollered. He pulled the door open and stared at me. “Never mind.”

I let out a nervous laugh. “Probably not a good idea to give them to me, huh?”

“What are you doing here?” he asked with a stone face.

“You got a minute? I want to talk to you.”

“Uh . . .” His eyes darted around. “Yeah. Kacie’s actually out with some friends. Come on in.” He pushed the door open and let me in.

I carefully stepped over dolls and books and princess crowns as I followed him through the house. “Whoa. What happened in here?” I surveyed the disaster in his normally spotless kitchen.

“Dinner happened.” Brody ran a hand through his hair. He walked to the pantry and pulled a garbage bag out, quickly filling it with paper plates and crumpled napkins. “So what’s up?”

I pulled out a stool and sat down at the island. “I know you’re going out on the road again tomorrow, and I just wanted to talk to you before you left again.”

“Okay.”

“I feel bad about our conversation at my house. I know you were trying to help and I was a dick about it.”

Brody nodded. “You were definitely a dick.”

“Yeah. So I just wanted to apologize.” I looked down at the island and pulled a bunch of crumbs into a small pile.

He leaned against the counter and crossed his arms over his chest. “I appreciate your apology, but I don’t really need it. I’m just worried about you.”

“I know.” I nodded. “I’ve been a little out of it.”

“A little?”

I shrugged. “A lot.”

“And now?”

“Better . . . I think. Being at the games helped.”

He tilted his head to the side and narrowed his eyes. “Why did that help?”

I dropped my eyes to the island again. Talking about my feelings with anyone wasn’t easy for me, and holding eye contact while talking about my feelings was impossible. “I felt like I was still part of the team. It made me feel important again.”

“Is that what you’ve been thinking this whole time?” His voice raised in surprise. “That you weren’t part of the team?”

I shrugged again. “It wasn’t just that. I don’t know. I felt . . . lost.”

“Lost?”

“Yeah. Hockey is my life, Brody. That’s all I have. If I don’t play hockey, I don’t know who I am.”

“Viper, hockey is a
part
of your life. A small part, and that’s it.” He shook his head vehemently. “That’s what you don’t get. You have Michelle and Matthew and Maura.”

I scoffed at his response. “I
did
have them. I royally fucked that whole thing up, too.”

“You absolutely fucked that up . . . royally,” he agreed.

“I don’t even know where to begin trying to fix it.”

“Well, here’s my question. And for once, just answer me honestly. Don’t dick me around.” He walked over and leaned on the island across from me, staring me straight in the eye. “Do you want to fix it? And I mean that. Do you want to be there with her and the kids . . . and the new baby?”

I stood up from the stool and paced the room. “Yes. No. I don’t know.”

“Bro, you have to figure that part out first. What’s your holdup? Is it Michelle?”

“No.”

“The kids?”

“No. I love those kids. I miss them like crazy.”

“The baby?”

I stopped pacing and glance back at him. “Maybe?”

“Okay. Why does that freak out you?”

“Are you kidding?” I threw my hands up. “Look at me. I’m a fucking mess. I can’t even handle myself. How the hell am I supposed to be a father? What am I gonna teach this kid . . . do everything the exact opposite of the way
I
do it?”

“Viper.” Brody straightened and put his hands on his hips, looking me square in the eye. “You already
are
a father. Don’t you see that? Everything you’ve been doing with the kids for a year now . . . You’ve cleaned up barf, you’ve put Band-Aids on skinned knees, you’ve read bedtime stories. That’s all being a dad. You’re already doing it, and you’re amazing at it.”

I stared at him but didn’t respond.

“Listen,” he continued, “you seem to have this victim mentality right now that you need to get rid of. You feel like everything is happening
to
you, but have you taken the time to look at the bigger picture?”

I shook my head.

“Fate doesn’t ask permission and it doesn’t give warnings,” he said. “I know that sounds cheesy, but it’s true. Maybe you’re
meant
to have this baby. Maybe it’s going to be the best thing that ever happened to you. When I met Kacie, I had no idea she would lead me to all
this.
” He held his hands out wide. “And I wouldn’t trade it for the world.”

A big thud from above our head, followed by a loud cry, made Brody take a deep breath and exhale through his nose. “A little bit of peace and quiet maybe, but not the world. I’ll be right back.”

His words bounced around in my head as he ran upstairs to check on the girls. I walked over and sat down at the kitchen table, trying to soak everything in and think about it one step at a time. Brody had been one of my best friends since he joined the team, but he was more than a friend. We were each other’s brother. We’d been through just about everything together, and I respected him more than almost anyone else on the planet. For him to tell me I was
already
an amazing dad really hit home.

Brody was back within a couple minutes. Just as he crossed into the kitchen, I heard the front door close. He turned back and looked toward it. “What are you doing home already?”

I couldn’t make out what she said, but I could tell by the voice he was talking to Kacie.

Brody walked farther into the kitchen, staring at me with wide eyes. “Play dead,” he mumbled.

I frowned at him. “Huh?”

Kacie was saying something about cars as she walked into the room and froze when she saw me. Her eyes narrowed. “What are
you
doing here?”

Play dead. I get it now. Too late.

Kacie was five foot nothing and about as threatening as a ladybug, but the look in her eyes made my stomach drop.

“I just came by to talk to Brody,” I answered.

“Oh, you wanna talk? Good, ’cause I wanna talk, too.” She marched over and slammed her purse down on the table before plopping down on the chair next to me.

“Babe, are you drunk?” Brody asked.

“Shush,” she snapped at him before turning back to me. “You’re a piece of shit, you know that?”

Brody sighed and rolled his eyes. “Definitely drunk.”

“What makes you think you can just up and leave and not call her for this long?”

I looked to Brody for help, but he just shrugged.

“It wasn’t intentional,” I said.

“Oh.” She nodded and tilted her head to the side. “It was accidental? What, did you just
forget
her phone number and address? I hate when that happens.” Her tone was sarcastic and condescending, and I deserved every bit of it.

“I know you’re mad at me—”

“I’m not mad at you,” she interrupted. “I actually want to thank you.”

“Thank me?” I said skeptically.

“Yeah, for showing her what a true asshole you are
now
instead of five years from now,” she snarled coldly. “But don’t worry about her. She doesn’t need you anymore.”

I dropped my eyes to the table and didn’t respond. Everything she said was true and I deserved to hear it.

“I’ve been taking care of her. Joel’s been taking care of her.
You’re
not needed anymore,” she said one more time.

“Kacie, that’s enough,” Brody warned, taking a couple steps toward the table.

“Joel?” I kept my head down toward the table but peered up at her.

“Yeah. The neighbor across the street. He’s shoveled her driveway, taken Matthew when she needed a break. They even spent Thanksgiving together.”

My stomach rolled and I thought I might puke. I licked my lips and tried to take a slow, steady breath in through my nose.