Wild Heart (Viper's Heart Duet Book 2) (32 page)

“I have been horrible to you,” he continued. “The way I acted after surgery, the things I said when you told me about our baby, calling the kids
your
kids and not
ours
. . . I was horrible. I wouldn’t blame you if you told me to leave and never come back again, but don’t think for a second that’s going to make me stop loving you, because nothing will.”

“You were horrible,” I agreed softly.

“And I wish I could go back in time and take it all back, but I can’t. All I can do is vow never to do it again and move forward. But I want to do more than that. I need to prove to you that not only will I never treat you like that again, I’m never going to leave again.”

My head swirled as I tried to think of what to say back, but he wasn’t done.

He swallowed and looked down at the island. “Walking out that door that day was the single worst mistake I’ve ever made, and I see that now. I should have stayed. I should have taken a time-out. I should have done anything other than walk out that door. The longer I was gone, the harder it was to come back, but when Kacie showed me this”—he put an ultrasound picture on the island in front of him—“and told me about our son, I couldn’t stay away one more day.” His eyes lifted back to mine. “But . . . I’m an idiot. I’m not good with words and presents like Brody. I’m not in control and focused like Andy. I’m a big dumb idiot who is impulsive and pretty damn stupid.”

“You’re not stupid.” I sniffed.

“I am stupid. Walking away from you guys for all that time was stupid. But I want to make it better. I want to make it right. I want to make you feel secure again and show you that I’m not looking for the door ever again. So”—he laid the other papers on the counter—“I listed my house this morning. That house was my bachelor pad, my old life. Everything I want is here, in this house . . . all of my physical belongings and my people. I don’t ever have to go back to that house again.”

My eyebrows shot up. “You’re selling your
house?
” I exclaimed.

He nodded.

“Viper, I haven’t even let you back in yet.”

His shoulders shrugged. “I know, but I don’t want to go back there. I want to be
here.
Plus, that house reminds me of the worst time in my whole life, a time away from you and the kids, and I don’t want to go back there.
Ever.
”

Several weeks’ worth of feelings and emotions welled up inside of me and came bubbling quickly to the surface. I rubbed my forehead with my fingers as tears started falling from my eyes as fast as my eyes could make them. I believed him. I believed every word he said. I believed that he missed us. I believed that he wanted to be here. I dropped my hands and looked at him. He was staring back at me with tears in his eyes, too.

He tilted his head to the side. “Please, baby? Please let me come home. Please let me be a dad to the kids again. Please let me love
you
again. I can’t be without you guys for one more day.”

My breath hitched as I put my head in my hands and started to sob. Shoulder-shaking, stomach-clenching, couldn’t-breathe sobs. Viper rushed around the island and wrapped me in his arms. As soon as I felt them cover me, I cried even harder. He didn’t say any more, he just held me and let me cry until there was nothing else to let out. After several minutes, I pushed his stomach back gently and reached for a napkin to blow my nose. After I tossed the napkin in the garbage, before I could say anything, he pulled me against him for another hug.

There was a point, a month before, where I wasn’t sure if I’d ever feel his arms around me again, and now that they were, they felt so good that I didn’t ever want to move. I closed my eyes and leaned into him, inhaling the smell of him and feeling his chest muscles flex against the side of my head every time his arms moved up and down as he rubbed my back.

“There is one more thing that I need to tell you,” he said.

My eyes shot open and I froze. “What?”

His arms tightened around me. “The nurse at Gam’s . . . Kat—”

“Oh God! Viper.” I pulled back quickly and glared at him. “You did not!”

His mouth fell open and he raised his hands defensively. “No! No! Nothing happened. God no!”

My chest rose and fell heavily as I waited for him to explain himself.

“Years ago—
several
years ago—we dated. I had no idea she was going to be at Gam’s. I didn’t even know she was a nurse now. I asked Ellie to make all the arrangements, and before I got a chance to look over who she picked, I got hurt and it kind of took my attention off of that.”

I eyed him skeptically as my blood pressure slowly came back down. “So are there feelings there?”

He shook his head vigorously. “Absolutely not. Not even a little. Nothing.”

“Why didn’t you tell me sooner?” I asked.

He shrugged. “Same reason you didn’t tell me about the baby right away. There wasn’t really a good time. After I got hurt and we went to Gam’s—the day I got the call that I’d torn my ACL—that was the first time I saw her. I was going to fire her, but then she’d bonded with Gam and everything happened between you and me, and I just didn’t care about her anymore. I still don’t.”

I let out a heavy sigh as he took a step toward me and bent his head down to catch my eyes with his. “I want a fresh start with us, Michelle. Clean slate, starting today, so I don’t want anything that could be viewed as a secret hanging out there between us.”

“You’re sure there’s nothing there?”

“Michelle, I promise. There’s less than nothing.”

“Well, I have something to tell you, too.” I looked up at him and his head jerked back in surprise. “I spent Thanksgiving with Joel and Gavin.”

“Oh.” He waved his hand. “I already knew that.”

“You did?” My voice rose.

“Yeah, Kacie told me that, too.”

Blabbermouth.

“Are you mad?” I asked cautiously, not wanting to ruin all the progress we’d just made.

“Yes.” He nodded. “Mad at myself for not being here to spend the holiday with you guys, but not mad at you for having dinner with a friend. As much as it pains me to think about it, I’m glad he was here for you.”

“Wow!” I said in amazement. “I didn’t expect that to come out of you.”

“I didn’t expect it to come out of me either, but I mean it. I’m done playing games and having temper tantrums. That’s not who I am anymore. I want this. I want us.” He moved his hand back and forth between the two of us, then motioned down the hall toward the playroom. “I want them. I want
our
kids . . . Matthew, Maura, this little guy who has yet to be named . . . maybe even a couple more after him.”

My eyes flashed open and I let out a quick giggle through the tears. “Whoa! Slow down. You were living in your car up until an hour ago. Let’s not get ahead of ourselves with more babies, okay?”

He grabbed my shoulders and pulled me against him, squeezing me as hard as he ever had. “I love you, Michelle. And I’m so, so incredibly sorry. I can’t say that enough.”

“Yes, you can.” I hooked my arms under his and hugged him back. “That was your one and only get-out-of-jail-free card.”

“I won’t need another. I promise.”

We stood in the kitchen, hugging and swaying back and forth, until the kids came in and interrupted us several minutes later.

“I’m hungry!” Matthew whined. “I want lunch.”

“I have some soup in the car,” Viper joked.

I pulled back and looked up at him. “What? Soup?”

He let out a quick laugh. “Kacie made Brody bring me soup. It’s in my car.”

Matthew turned up his nose. “I don’t want soup.”

“I’ll make you something, bud.” I took a deep, cleansing breath and started toward the pantry, but Viper caught my arm.

“You sit. How about I make pancakes?” His eyes slid from me to Matthew, whose face lit up as he threw his hands in the air.

“Yes! Yes! I want pancakes!”

“Pancakes it is.” He grinned with a nod and kissed the side of my head.

Christmas had always been my favorite holiday, but I couldn’t remember a time in my entire life where I’d been more excited for that morning. Michelle said she was already done with all of the Santa shopping for Matthew and Maura, but I only saw that as a challenge. After therapy sessions, I’d stopped and gotten a few more things but hadn’t told her. I couldn’t wait to see the kids’ faces on Christmas morning.

The morning of Christmas Eve, I went to pick up Gam. Michelle and I had invited her to the house to spend the day with us, then sleepover and spend Christmas with us, too, but Gam was a homebody, so she turned us down initially. That’s when we’d handed the phone to Little Mo and told
her
to ask. Needless to say, I was picking Gam up to come home with me for a few days.

“Seriously. How long do you plan on staying?” I said playfully as I picked her bag up off the couch.

“Shut up, you little asshole,” Gam spat as she walked into the kitchen.

I ignored her and continued teasing. “This thing is
so
heavy!”

“Of course it is. My whiskey is in there,” she called out.

“You brought whiskey? We
have
whiskey.”

“Probably not enough.” She shut the kitchen light off with a laugh and headed to the front door.

“You ready, you old bat?”

“Ready as I’ll ever be!” She grinned up at me excitedly.

“Everything locked up?”

“Except your mouth.” She punched my arm and laughed so hard I thought she was going to fall over.

I rolled my eyes and hooked my arm under hers, holding her tight as we walked to my car together, both of us still with slight limps . . . like two mangled peas in a broken little pod.

When I pulled into the driveway at mine and Michelle’s house, Maura and Matthew were jumping up and down at the front door. Typically when we saw Gam, we went to her house because it was just easier. She rarely came to ours for a visit, let alone a sleepover, and the kids were bouncing off the walls excited.

“Look at that.” Gam motioned to the door as we walked up. “You should have been as excited as they are when you rang my doorbell.”

I laughed out loud and helped her up the porch steps.

Gam slid out of her coat and I hung it in the closet as she pulled the kids against her and wrapped them in a huge hug.

“Boy, you guys sure know how to make an old lady feel good!” she said as she kissed the tops of their heads.

The house smelled amazing. Michelle had been working so hard all day, desperately wanting to impress Gam with making a big dinner all by herself. She wouldn’t even let me help. The whole thing had her so frazzled, I didn’t even have the heart to tell her that her apron was on inside out.

“Ooooh, it smells fantastic in here!” Gam lifted her nose in the air and closed her eyes.

Michelle’s eyes lit up. “Really? It does?”

“It does. If it tastes even
half
as good as it smells, we’re all in for a real treat.”

Michelle looked over at me and took a deep breath as a tiny grin crept across her lips. Her pleased blue eyes sparkled and the little bit of chocolate I noticed on the end of her nose only made her cuter.

“Were you baking, too?” I asked with a laugh.

She squished her eyebrows together and blinked up at me. “Yeah. I made fudge. Why?” Before I could answer, her eyes crossed and she looked down at her nose, finally noticing the chocolate. “Oh! Oops!” She giggled as she grabbed a paper towel and wiped it off.

Gam clapped her hands once and looked around the kitchen like a woman on a mission. “Okay, what can I help with?”

“Nothing.” Michelle shook her head. “I just want you to sit and relax while I do everything.”

Gam eyed Michelle skeptically for just a second before she shrugged. “In that case, I’ll make myself a drink.”

Michelle bent over and pulled the sweet potatoes from the oven just as the doorbell rang. She stood and stared at me with wide eyes and a hot dish in her hand.

I held my hand up. “You do that, I got this.”