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Authors: Suki Fleet

Wild Summer (9 page)

BOOK: Wild Summer
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Running his hands through his hair, Crash swallowed the lump in his throat that threatened to choke him and texted Romeo. It was half past six in the morning, and Crash needed someone to talk to. Romeo wasn’t much of a sleeper, so he would probably be up.

There could be all manner of reasons why Summer hadn’t got in contact—he might not even have gotten the note. Tom might not have been as trustworthy as he seemed. Or Summer might not have had a chance to read it yet. Or he could have lost it. Or thrown it straight in the bin.

The phone vibrated. There were two texts. The second was from Romeo. The first was a number Crash didn’t recognize. He opened Romeo’s first. It was a photograph of his garden, full of morning sunlight and summer haziness. It was beautiful and made Crash wish he were back there with him.
Video call me,
it said at the bottom.

The second text just said three words.
Are you awake?

Crash’s heart felt impossibly heavy as it thudded in his chest. Anxiety mingled with relief, even though the text didn’t say who it was from. It could be anyone who had his number, he reminded himself. Just because he wanted it to be Summer more than anything, it didn’t mean it was.

Yes,
he texted back.

There’s a café in the station. Meet me there in five.

Crash quickly splashed his face in the bathroom sink, rinsed his mouth with mouthwash, and was out the door.

The café was on the platform at the train station. At this time in the morning, the place was as busy as it ever got with people commuting into London.

Standing at the top of the steps, Crash took a deep breath to try and steady his nerves and slowly walked along the platform to the café. Wishing he had more time to compose himself, Crash saw Summer sitting at a table pushed up against the café window, his hands wrapped around an empty mug. Summer gave Crash a small smile when their eyes met, and Crash’s first thought as he pushed open the café door was that the old woman yesterday was right—Summer looked desperately unhappy beneath his thin bright façade.

Hello,
Summer signed when Crash reached the table.
I learned to sign,
he added fluently with a self-conscious shrug when Crash didn’t respond.

Thing was, Crash didn’t know what to say. It was as though all the words he’d ever known had fled, and he just stared at Summer’s fading bruises and his once-again electric blue hair—last night’s black number must have been a wig. And he felt as he had all those years ago after pushing Summer out of the way of that truck—wonderstruck and completely out of his depth.

“We can talk if you’d prefer,” Summer said slowly.

There was a fragility about him that made Crash want to shield him from all harm. He couldn’t work out if this was a new feeling, or one that came from witnessing the bruises on Summer’s face and the years of guilt and regret he’d felt over what had happened.

Getting ahold of himself, Crash finally made his hands come to life.
No. I’m more comfortable signing.

Summer gave him another tiny smile.

Can I get you another drink?
Crash gestured to Summer’s empty mug.

Thanks. Just tea.

Crash came back with their drinks and some toast he’d bought because Summer looked like he might need it. He pushed the plate of toast across the table, but Summer just stared at it, biting his lip, causing his lip ring to catch in the café lights and gleam brightly.

I didn’t expect to see you in London. I was a bit shocked. I’m sorry I didn’t stop and talk to you. I panicked.
Summer’s eyes flicked over Crash’s as he signed, but he wouldn’t hold Crash’s gaze.

I’ve been worried about you,
Crash replied and before he could think or stop himself, he’d reached out a hand and touched the soft skin of the fading bruise along Summer’s jaw with his thumb.

Wide-eyed, Summer flinched away, and Crash pulled his hand back in embarrassment, unsure where the urge to touch Summer had come from.

“Don’t,” Summer said, his face crumpling, making him look as though he was on the verge of tears. “I’m sorry.”

The table shook as a train came into the station, and the café emptied as people got on it.

When did you learn to sign?
Crash asked. Changing the subject seemed the best option. He didn’t think he could bear to see Summer cry.

After you left. Started off learning from YouTube. Then one of Sky’s teachers said they’d help me get on a course if I would come back and volunteer at the school, which I did. Best job I ever had. But it turns out I’m not really cut out for working with kids.

Crash remembered all the child psychology and child-care textbooks in Summer’s neat bedroom. How patient he was with Sky. He didn’t believe for one moment Summer wasn’t cut out for working with kids.

You’re great with kids. What happened?

Nothing happened!
The fire alight in Summer’s eyes was the same fire Crash had seen outside the club all those years ago when Summer had pushed him away. Except now he saw it clearly for what it was—a defense, like a firewall around his heart. But Crash knew he couldn’t help Summer unless Summer let him in.

So he shrugged, backed off.

I kind of ran away too after I saw you,
he admitted.
Went to see some friends in Cornwall when I was supposed to be doing my end-of-year exams. But I needed to know you were okay. I came back to find you.

I am okay.

Just from these few minutes spent together, it was obvious Summer was far from okay, but what could Crash do?

Where are you living now?

With Ren. He has a house out on the coast road.

They looked at each other, holding the eye contact for much longer than was strictly necessary. Crash had that weird thought he’d had before in Summer’s presence, when he’d wondered if everyone else could hear the way his heart was banging against the walls of his chest.

I heard about what happened with Sky and your mum too. I’m sorry.

“Don’t,” Summer mouthed, and all at once his hands came up to cover his face, and he folded in on himself, shoulders shaking.

Berating himself for pushing him too far, Crash scooted his chair around next to Summer’s and put his arms around him. This time there was no flinching away, rather, Summer seemed to lean into him, sobbing all the harder.

Want to go somewhere else?
Crash signed when Summer looked up. A busy café wasn’t the most comfortable place to be when you were upset, he knew.

“We can’t,” Summer mouthed.

“My hotel room is two minutes away.”

Not a good idea,
Summer signed and smiled, the flash of brightness so brief Crash wasn’t sure he’d actually seen it at all.

No. Probably not,
Crash agreed wryly, gently brushing away Summer’s tears with his fingertips, warmth coursing through him. He was already hopelessly nursing a hard-on, and he was sure Summer knew it.

There were lines here, but Crash wanted to obliterate them, striking right through them to the intense core of feelings still there. The past four years had melted away to nothing.

“Did Ren do this?” Crash mouthed, still stroking Summer’s bruised cheek.

Summer tensed, and Crash realized it had been the wrong thing to say.

No,
Summer signed, turning his face away and pulling out of Crash’s arms.

Summer looked out the window at the pale, cold sky. Today it was as if all the brightness had been sucked away.

I should go,
Summer signed after a moment.
I just… I wanted to see you. I’m glad things turned out all right for you.

Summer’s gaze flicked over his clothing, his watch, and Crash knew what Summer was assuming—that he’d ended up with a good family—and he was right.

Crash nodded, unable to bring himself to ask if they could meet again. He sensed Summer’s answer would be no anyway.

I’m okay. Don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine,
Summer signed, taking a deep shaky breath, his beautiful eyes still full of tears.

You’re not okay,
Crash replied as Summer took one last sip of his tea and stood up.
I’m not a kid anymore, I could help you. I want to help you.

Be there for you,
he added in his head.
Protect you
.

I don’t need any help.

 

 

C
RASH
SAT
in the café for half an hour after Summer left. Romeo had texted a few times, asking if he was okay, but Crash didn’t feel able to reply. The one person he wanted to talk to was gone.

Eventually he pulled himself together enough to go back to his hotel room, pack up his stuff, and get a ticket for the train home. He felt worse than before he’d come here. He was still torn apart by guilt, and after seeing Summer he knew for sure that the feelings he thought he’d gotten over were still there—he didn’t know how the hell he was going to survive it.

 

 

T
HE
NEXT
week passed in a blur.

Architecture was a demanding degree. Crash spoke to his tutors and managed to reschedule the exams he’d missed when he was away, but he had to do them in addition to the ones already timetabled. It gave him less time to think, and he was grateful.

The dreams had stopped. For Crash, seeing Summer again and realizing how he still felt seemed to have broken the spell, just as that brief sighting of him in London had cast it in the first place. But he missed them.

One evening after a particularly long day, he broke down and spoke to Kay about Summer, told her how he felt—even how intense his attraction to Summer was, and always had been—and how much Summer’s friendship would mean to him if he would at least let him in.

With her gentle kindness, she reassured him that he had done all he could by letting Summer know he was there if he needed him. Giving Summer space and time was the best thing to do.

Even if he was worried about Summer’s safety, he had no concrete proof Ren had hurt him. Summer was an adult. He had the power to make his own choices about how to live his life. Crash just worried Summer didn’t realize it anymore.

 

 

I
NEED
you.

It was midnight. Crash stared at the message in shock. He had long since memorized the number, so he knew it was Summer.

I’m here,
he replied immediately.
I’ll always be here
, he thought.

Holding the phone in his hand, he waited for Summer’s reply, but it didn’t come.

And even though he lay awake for hours, staring at the glowing screen, there were no further texts.

The next morning he didn’t know what to do. He got dressed and paced his room restlessly. The last time he’d felt this worried was when Romeo had run away with Julian, the both of them taking a wild chance not to end up back on the streets. But at least they’d had each other. Summer, as far as Crash could tell, had no one—Ren had probably made sure of that. His only ally seemed to be Tom, whom he didn’t see outside of the club.

Over breakfast Crash told Kay about the text. She asked him if he wanted her to call Summer. But he shook his head and went out into the garden to sit under the shade of the ancient conifers, his skin prickling in the heat of the overhead sun, and thought about texting Summer again. But he’d texted him five times already this morning, and that felt desperate enough.

All Crash’s coping mechanisms involved doing something, being active and involved, not helplessly waiting to find out what was going on. He couldn’t stand it.

It was four o’clock in the afternoon when his phone finally rang. Crash was still outside, lying in the grass, staring up at the deepening blue of the sky. Everything felt too claustrophobic whenever he went in the house, as if the walls were closing in on him, the weight of the house pressing down on his heart. For a moment he just stared at the phone vibrating urgently in his hand, a number he didn’t recognize on the lit-up screen. Pulling himself together, he got up and ran inside to Kay. She answered it and signed to him with the phone held in the crook of her neck that there was a boy sobbing on the other end of the line who said he just needed to hear Crash’s voice.

Summer.

Becoming choked up at the thought of Summer upset was not going to help anyone, so Crash concentrated on getting his words out. “Summer? I’m here. Please text me, tell me what’s going on. If you need me to come down there, I will.”

Feeling distraught, he passed the phone back to Kay. She put her arm around him and stroked his back while she carried on speaking calmly to Summer.

Sky has gone missing from the foster home she was placed in. Your friend is very worried about her,
Kay signed after handing Crash back his phone and sitting down at the kitchen table.

Crash stared at the screen as if he could somehow will Summer back on the line, to just know he was there even if they couldn’t talk.

She has learning difficulties. She’s only twelve,
he signed listlessly, sitting down opposite her.

Kay nodded. Summer seemed to have told her as much.

I’m going to call Estella. See if there is anything she can do to find out about what’s going on. I think what’s really not helping Summer is the fact that no one’s telling him anything.

Did he want me to go down there?

He didn’t say. Then again, he was very upset. Do you want to go?

Crash nodded, feeling the tears he was trying to hold back welling up and threatening to spill over. The thought of Summer distressed and just needing to hear his voice had tugged that bright thread in his gut to near painfully tight proportions.

It’s Sunday. Do you want to check if the trains are running first?

Crash nodded. He was going anyway, even if he had to traverse all the buildings across London to get there.

BOOK: Wild Summer
9.04Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub
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