Wilde Bear (BBW Paranormal Shapeshifter Romance) (Blue Bear Rescue) (3 page)

She frowned at that and caught Xavier watching her before she could cover it up.

“You finished eating?” he asked. She nodded. “Walk with me.”

She took his offered hand, following him back to the far end of the deck where they’d stood earlier. This time, he led her around the corner so that they were out of sight of the rest of the crew. She stared into the trees that lined this side of the restaurant and inhaled the scent of pine appreciatively.

“Having a good time?” he asked.

She nodded. “It’s been a long time since I got out like this,” she said. “Thank you.”

Xavier stepped toward her, closing the distance between them, and Laurel’s nerves rattled all over again—for a different reason. She’d been fine in front of the group. Even when Xavier’s hand had reached for hers under the table, she’d let him touch her and kept her thoughts mostly ordered. But standing here alone, without an audience, she couldn’t catch her breath. What was it about his touch that made her feel like a freshman in the backseat of a car all over again?

Her animal went crazy as desire rose. She inhaled again, and this time, it wasn’t pine or forest she smelled. She froze. Pheromones. God, he’d smell her and realize her animal for sure now.

“Well,” Xavier said, tucking a loose lock of hair behind her ear. “In case you don’t remember how it goes, it’s tradition to let your date kiss you at the end of the night.”

Laurel looked up at him, wide-eyed in fear mixed with anticipation until it was all she could smell in the air between them. But God, she wanted this. And when he leaned in, she was already too far gone to even argue. In the end, she didn’t get a chance anyway. Xavier closed the distance and kissed her.

Laurel held still, too stunned to pull away, but then Xavier’s mouth moved over hers, and she could only sink into it. She pressed against him, both arms winding up and around his neck. Her fingers tangled eagerly into his hair just like she’d wanted to do all day. Xavier deepened the kiss, his tongue darting out to trace her top lip.

Laurel clung tighter, and a small, high-pitched yelp escaped her throat. He let her go in surprise, and the blood drained from Laurel’s face. She hadn’t meant to do that and now he would know. He would figure out her secret. The very thing she’d forgotten to hide from him was now undeniable; she was sure of it.

“Sorry, I…” Laurel didn’t even know how to fix it. She definitely didn’t want to stand there and take the accusation that would surely come next.

Panicked and near tears, she shoved the papers at him and fled.

How could she have been so stupid? So thoughtless? So forgetful of what she was protecting? Xavier Wilde, it seemed, was bad for her memory.

X
avier rubbed
his eyes and shuffled through the stack of applications once more. But pawing through them again didn’t change facts. Not a damn one of them was more qualified than the resume he’d already set aside.

He picked it up just as Jake and Nash entered his office.

“Hey, boss.” Jake fell into the cushioned chair opposite Xavier’s desk.

“Hey.” Nash followed suit and between the three of them, they filled the empty space inside the small corner office.

Xavier grunted back at them. He hadn’t been in the mood to shoot the shit since dinner. Or, more specifically, since that earth-shattering kiss he’d had with the DOT chic. After that horrific night senior year, Xavier had spent the last ten years steering clear of women. Somehow, after a perfect record of avoidance, Laurel Adams had gotten under his skin with almost no effort on her part, and he had no clue what to do about it.

“It’s not even ski season, and you’re burning the midnight oil?” Nash asked.

“Yeah, boss. I thought August was vacation month,” Jake said.

Both men watched him carefully. He knew that look too. They were worried about him but knew better than to ask. “I want to get it right with this new hire,” he said.

And because he knew he had to start somewhere, Xavier waved the resume at them. Jake snatched it first. He read the first few lines and then looked back at Xavier with wide eyes. “No fucking way.”

“Let me see.” Nash grabbed the paper hard enough to make Xavier wince.

“Kyra Gold,” Jake said.

Nash looked up at Xavier in disbelief. “You can’t hire a chick.”

“Why not?” Xavier asked, even though he’d already known this argument was coming. “She’s clearly the most qualified out of all the applicants. She’s first aid qualified, field medicine trained, she’s led survivalist and tracking workshops—”

“She’s a girl,” Jake broke in. As if that settled everything.

Nash nodded. “He’s right. We can’t bring a girl into the crew. You know how women mess up the dynamic. Think about that crew in Montana we heard about last year. They broke up over it. Broke up, man.”

Xavier rose, temper flaring as his bear reached its limit for the day. “No, I don’t know. Neither do you. We only know stories, but nothing firsthand. We’re a strong crew, and a well-qualified patroller would make us stronger. End of story.”

He sidestepped his desk, resisting the urge to smash through it instead, and headed for the exit. He didn’t need to be ragged, not again. God, what a fucking day.

The boys didn’t say another word as he stormed out the back door and straight into the woods. The night was clear, the moon bright and full, and Xavier gave into his animal the moment he was clear of the office.

He shed his clothes, tossing them into a pile at the base of a tree, and shifted fast. The moment his bear’s paws hit the ground, he ran. It felt good to move. To give in to the pent-up frustration today had brought.

If Jake’s and Nash’s reactions were any indication, that new hire situation was going to get ugly. He needed some distance.

But even as a bear, he couldn’t stop thinking about Laurel and that kiss. He told himself it was just because he hadn’t been with anyone else in so long. But deep down, he knew it was more. He wanted her. His bear wanted her. No, scratch that. His bear needed her. And that scared the shit out of him. He’d been on his own way too long. He didn’t want to need anyone.

The familiar scent was so subtle he thought he’d only imagined it. He was thinking about her too hard. But then the wind shifted, and he knew it was really there. He came to a stop and sniffed harder. It was definitely Laurel, without all that mind-numbing perfume she usually wore.

What the hell was she doing in the woods late at night?

He sniffed again, and this time, the scent of an animal hit him hard. Shit. Was something out here stalking her?

He broke into a run, dodging trees, using the moon and the scent to guide him. His heart pounded as he thought of her injured or worse. A screeching bark broke the quiet and Xavier’s heart clenched.

He sped up.

The trees finally gave way, and he stopped short at the edge of a clearing. In the center stood the largest red fox he’d ever seen. It sat in the grass, mewling and screeching as if it were crying. He looked frantically right and left for Laurel, but he saw only the fox. As he watched, the fox screeched again and suddenly shifted.

The fox vanished and Laurel stood in its place. She stood naked, her hair hanging in her face. The moonlight glinted off her tear-stained cheeks as she spun in a slow circle, searching the trees. She looked utterly lost, and Xavier’s protective instincts kicked in.

In the shadows, Xavier shifted and climbed to his feet. He rushed to her, grabbing her and pulling her into his arms before she could protest.

“Xavier? How did you find me?” she asked, and before he could answer, she was sobbing against him. His bear’s heart broke for her, and he felt the pull he’d fought earlier turn to yearning. And then it settled, and Xavier knew. She was it for him. There would be no one else. His bear had claimed her right here in this moonlit clearing.

Laurel’s sobs turned to sniffles, and still, Xavier held her, rubbing circles over her back and hair to soothe her. “Sshh. I’ve got you,” he murmured.

But the truth was she had him. Xavier’s bear was hers now, and it would be for as long as he lived.

L
aurel pulled back from Xavier
, swiping at the last of her tears. She’d cried herself out and now her wits had returned enough to leave her mortified both for herself and her fox. She wasn’t sure how he’d found her out here, but then, she didn’t really remember how she’d gotten here either. Staving off the change for so long always did that to her. When she finally did give over to her fox, it was always a blur of panic as her animal raced for the safety of thickets and burrows. She didn’t even remember shifting or leaving her house.

The breeze pricked at her bare skin, raising goosebumps along her arms and breasts. But the way her nipples hardened into tight peaks had nothing to do with the weather and everything to do with being on display for the hottest man she’d ever seen. First, he’d seen her fox and now… her everything else was exposed. Goodness, she was laid bare in the worst way right now.

She felt Xavier’s eyes on her face but couldn’t bring herself to meet his gaze. Her cheek burned as his eyes flickered down to the rest of her. “This is so embarrassing,” she said, but Xavier’s hungry gaze made it clear he felt no remorse in his perusal of her.

“Don’t be,” he said. “I’m enjoying the view.”

He stood back just far enough to give her the same vantage point of his body. His broad shoulders tapered into a toned waist and below that, the largest cock she’d ever seen pointed directly at her. Every inch of him looked hard as stone. Delicious. She wondered what he tasted like.

Laurel’s mouth curved because she couldn’t help but agree. This view wasn’t all that bad. Then she realized how disheveled she must look compared to him. She really hoped her nose wasn’t running. “Sorry for falling apart on you like that.”

“I don’t understand. What made you so upset?” He looked away into the woods, searching. “Did something frighten you?”

“No, there was… it was me. I resisted the urge to shift for so long that when it came on me today, I couldn’t fight it any longer. I shifted and panicked and ended up way out here. I can’t even remember how I got here. And then you startled me, and I lost it. Sorry.”

He hooked his finger underneath her chin and forced her to look up at him. She braced herself for judgment, or worse, laughter, but he only looked at her with concern. “Don’t apologize for what you are. I’ve never seen a red fox before. You are beautiful, Laurel. Why do you hide it?”

She hesitated, terrified to share her secrets. She’d hidden her true self from everyone for so long. Xavier watched her with such earnest caring as if he really wanted to help. Besides, he was a shifter. He knew what it was like. Maybe she’d been wrong about him being the one to ruin her life. Maybe he was the only one who could help her keep it all together.

“I grew up in an anti-shifter house. My dad was human and thought shifters were unnatural. My mom was a fox, but I could see how she hated that part of her. Probably ingrained from her own parents. They were hard on her about her animal. Always making her feel guilty. Even as a kid, she taught me to be stronger than my fox, to resist the shift. She said giving in made me weak, and a shifter’s weakness was discovery. When I couldn’t help it, she taught me to keep it out of sight. Keep it a secret, she said, so no one could use it to hurt me. Most of the time, I did that, but sometimes, the fox would slip out, and my dad would scream at me. I walked around in constant fear I’d shift by accident and others would find out and degrade me in the way my dad had. I left as soon as I graduated and I’ve been doing my best to keep it hidden since then. I only shift when I can’t stop it, and I always try to get away before anyone notices.”

A life of hiding,” he murmured. “That couldn’t have been easy.”

“I moved around a lot.”

“Sounds lonely.”

“I decided a long time ago; I’d rather be lonely than be with people who can’t accept my fox. Before I came here, I was in the city, which made it hard to keep my fox out of sight.” She gestured around them to the moonlit woods. “When DOT offered the transfer here, I jumped at it. I thought I’d have more space and maybe even people who could accept me as a shifter.”

“Gerald’s got no problem with shifters. He was friends with my dad.”

“I know. I guess I’ve been too scared after everything in my past to even tell him, though.” She blew out a breath; still half-terrified Xavier would scoff at her secret life. But he only stepped closer and stroked her hair, tucking it gently behind her ear.

“You’ve always hidden yourself,” Xavier said. He sounded awed by it but underneath the words, power rumbled.

Laurel ducked her head. “Until now,” she admitted.

“You don’t ever have to hide yourself from me,” he said, and the authority of his alpha rang through the words. Laurel’s animal curled around the protectiveness in him, cuddling closer.

The way he spoke of letting her animal be seen… she’d dreamed of this but never had it with anyone. She found herself smiling softly.

“What is that look for?” he asked.

“Say it again,” she said, inching closer to him.

His arm tightened around her. “You don’t ever have to hide from me,” he said and pulled her close.

She sank against him, her nipples brushing his chiseled chest. She sighed, reveling in the delicious tingle that ran through her. How long had it been since she’d let herself be like this with a man? Years, certainly.

“I know we got off to a rough start, you and me,” Xavier said, his voice gravelly and breathy against her temple.

“I was cold to you. It’s my version of professionalism, a way to remind men I’m equal. I’m sorry I was rude.”

“I’d like to start over,” he said.

She ran a hand up his arm, trailing her fingertips over his massive bicep. He shuddered, and she thrilled at the reaction she’d pulled from him so easily. “Me too,” she said.

He drew her chin up, so their mouths hovered an inch apart. “I mean really start,” he added. “I didn’t want to, didn’t mean to feel this way for you, but my animal, it’s—”

“Drawn to you,” she finished for him, and his eyes danced, the blue darkening to a steel gray.

“Show me all of yourself, Laurel. The real you, no pretending. No hiding anymore.”

Laurel’s breath caught. Her fox rose up, practically begging for this. In the back of her mind, fear threatened to ruin it. To make her second-guess the trust required to give herself this way. But in the end, she knew she couldn’t resist. Not when her animal had so clearly already made the choice for her. Desire was a physical ache inside her. Besides, there was no denying it. She knew Xavier could smell her pheromones on the air.

She leaned against Xavier and dragged her bared breasts across his chest as she drew herself up against him. Friction sent delicious waves down her body, and she pressed harder until they were aligned from chest to knees. Xavier’s erection pressed against her belly, taunting her with its pressure. If only she could feel its weight a little lower…

His hands still hovered, cupping her elbows, giving her plenty of room to make the moves. He was barely touching her, not even guiding her along, and still, her knees shook with how badly she wanted him. She’d had boyfriends, sure. Nothing serious. And none of them had ever made her feel like this. Like being here, showing herself, giving herself to him was everything.

The rest of the universe faded away. In that moment, it was only them. Only Xavier. He wanted to see her so she would show him. And she wouldn’t hold back.

She wound her arms up and gripped his shoulders, letting her expression convey all of her feelings. She held tight and rolled her hips against his hard-on, a reflexive reaction to the need building between her thighs. Xavier’s mouth crashed over hers. He took her fast, claiming kisses, and Laurel offered herself eagerly for more. She kissed him back recklessly, half-terrified this would end any second, and she’d have to go right back to the solitary life she’d lived before tonight.

When his tongue dipped inside her mouth, tracing lines over her lips, she whimpered. “Xavier, you have me,” she said, breathless, as he trailed kisses over her jaw and down her throat. “All of me, please.”

Her center ached, and already she could feel the wet heat gathering. She needed him inside her. She’d beg and plead if necessary.

Xavier growled from deep in his throat and scooped her up, lowering her on her back underneath him. The grass was cool against her skin, but Xavier’s hands lit a fire everywhere they touched. Laurel shivered from the heat that burned at her center, practically sizzling the dew against her back into steam.

It had been too long since she’d offered herself and never like this. She felt like a volcano ready to erupt.

“I need to feel all of you,” Xavier said in a ragged breath. His hand ran down the length of her, stopping to brush her already hardened nipple, and she moaned. He dipped his head and captured it in his mouth instead, and she closed her eyes, floating as he licked and sucked.

His hand wandered lower, fingertips trailing over her hips and thigh until he found her wet center. His thumb brushed over her clit. Laurel could only writhe against him in anticipation.

It wasn’t enough. Everywhere he touched left a trail of tingles, a promise to please, and still, it wasn’t enough. She gripped his hips and yanked him close, bucking her hips to his even as his finger pushed inside her. “This is what I want,” he told her, his breath hot against her ear.

“It’s yours,” she promised him, her breathing just as ragged as she began climbing toward the peak.

His rhythm stalled and she could have cried. “Can we—?” he began.

“I’m on the pill,” she managed to get out, already knowing what he meant, and Xavier stole her breath with another kiss. He went back to work on her with his hands and Laurel sank even further into the cool relief of the grass at her back as the fire continued to build inside her.

Like an answer to prayer, Xavier repositioned himself so that he was directly over top of her and she closed her eyes, breath hitching in anticipation. “God, you’re so fucking wet. Where have you been hiding, woman?” he grumbled. But instead of the usual shame and fear, she felt at living in hiding, Laurel grinned.

“I’m right here,” she said, drawing him down for another kiss. When the head of his cock brushed her folds, she almost cried out in release. Years’ worth of sexual frustration already had her at the brink.

Xavier slowed the pace and pushed into her slowly the first time, but Laurel bucked, encouraging him. “Please,” she whimpered, her desire giving her courage. “I want all of you, too.”

Xavier slammed into her, and she bent her knees, hooking her ankles around him to hang on. She lost herself in the fast pace, the wildness of it. With each new thrust, she inched closer to the edge. She could feel the freefall waiting for her on the other side, and she sprinted for it. Desperate to fly.

Xavier hovered just above her, whispering encouragement as he drove into her. His broad shoulders practically shone in the moonlight, and she ran her hands over them to his back, hanging on as he took her higher and higher. She’d never felt more beautiful, more wanted, than here and now. Completely accepted. And he was completely hers.

She reached up, running her teeth over the smooth skin of his shoulder. Unmarred. Unmated. But not for long. Her fox urged her to do it, to give him the bite she knew his bear would consider a mating mark.

“I’m going to come,” Xavier said, his voice ragged, and she eased back. She didn’t need to bite him to know her fox already thought of him as hers. Instead, she dug her fingernails into his hips and squeezed her ankles, riding the tension as it built inside her. Just knowing he was close was enough to send her up and over.

“Come with me,” he said as the first shot of warmth spread inside her.

Laurel flung herself off the edge, her body soaring as the orgasm rocketed through her. Xavier bucked over her, his thrusts slowing as he held himself taut, shuddering with each new wave. Laurel heard herself cry out with the intensity, and when the last of it had ebbed, she let her hips fall back to the grass. Full of him. Full of Xavier Wilde.

She’d barely caught her breath when his lips found hers again, trailing tiny kisses across her mouth and over her cheeks and nose. “You’re so beautiful,” he murmured, dipping low to nibble on her earlobe.

She smiled as his breath and teeth tickled her skin, edging away until he found a spot on her shoulder instead. He planted warm kisses everywhere he could reach, and she lay there, floating on a buzz of happiness.

She couldn’t believe it. He’d seen all of her, and he’d wanted her even more afterward, red fox and all. She closed her eyes, a happy smile spreading over her face. This was what it was like to be accepted completely.