Wilde Bear (BBW Paranormal Shapeshifter Romance) (Blue Bear Rescue) (5 page)

For that alone, she knew, her animal’s desire to claim him had been right.

Xavier stared down at her, his gaze a tumble of wild emotions. She wondered if he felt it, the tug of energy between them. When he spoke again, his voice was rough, and she loved that he was just as affected as she was. “Come on, let’s take you to your new home.”

He started the truck, and she snuggled against him while he drove them over the mountain roads. Within minutes, the view outside her window changed from storefronts and homes to nothing but forest greenery. Trees, lush and full with summer’s end, rushed by her in a blur, and she sighed in contentment.

Tomorrow at work, a mountain of paperwork and probably nosy questions from Scott awaited her. She’d never once called in sick before, and this was sure to make him wonder. On top of that, she wouldn’t be able to hide it for long that her new address matched the home address for the Wilde Crew. She didn’t even want to think about the questions that would come then. And Xavier. Whatever had happened because of his choice to stay with that girl all those years ago clearly still haunted him. And she would never settle for being second to her mate, not even if her animal had chosen him. It was a prospect that pained her to think about, so she shoved it aside.

Right then, at that moment, she was okay. That would have to be enough.

X
avier stood
in the dining room at his home, the Lodge, and glared at his crew. Nash stood against the far dining room wall, arms crossed, head down. Lucas was brooding in the corner—nothing new there. Jake sat at the table beside where he stood at the head position, twiddling his thumbs. And Harley was slamming around in the fridge as if making more noise would somehow produce a cold beer even faster.

No one looked at the resume lying on the center of the scarred dining room table. No one except Xavier. He glared at the name of his potential hire for the millionth time: Kyra Gold. And then he glared back at the rest of his crew.

Upstairs, he could hear the faint sounds of Laurel settling into her new room. Dresser drawers opened and closed lightly, only audible because of his bear’s heightened senses. And with his temper flaring, every damn sense was heightened.

“I didn’t figure my crew for a bunch of chauvinists,” Xavier said quietly. “Kyra’s the best candidate by far. That should be what matters.” Xavier couldn’t remember the last time his crew had pissed him off like this. Refusing a new hire because she was a woman was beneath them.

“What matters is keeping this crew intact,” Harley snapped, slamming the fridge and popping the top on his beer.

“I hate to say it, but Harley’s right,” Lucas said, shaking his head slowly. “I’ve heard it over and over again. A girl in the crew, not mated to one of us, I mean, is asking for trouble.”

Xavier gripped the chair tighter and glared at Lucas and then the rest. “This is insane. It’s the twenty-first century, guys.”

“You’re practically drooling with pheromones, man. You want that DOT chick bad, and now with your mating instincts kicking in, we’re all wondering if ours will too.” Harley said. “Thanks a fucking lot, by the way. I definitely don’t need to be walking around sexually frustrated.”

Jake’s eyes widened. “Is that what’s happening, boss? I mean, I felt something different, but I guess I just thought I missed the snow, the cold weather, ya know?”

Harley laughed, almost spewing beer. Lucas smiled but ducked his head before Jake could see.

Xavier sighed. He and Nash exchanged a look. “You can’t take it back,” Nash told him.

Xavier knew Nash meant his bear’s feelings for Laurel. He couldn’t take it back or make it go away. He was too far gone. He knew it, and because Nash had an affinity for that kind of shit, Nash knew it too.

“I think we should meet her,” Jake said.

Xavier eased his grip, surprised. “You do?”

“Yeah.” Jake looked up at Xavier. “If we all meet her, then we’ll know, right?”

“Know what?” he asked.

Jake shrugged. “That none of us wants to mate her. She can just be one of the guys.”

Xavier rolled his eyes. “That shouldn’t even be a question.”

“But it is, and you know why,” Harley said with a pointed look.

Xavier considered playing dumb, but he knew it wouldn’t get him far. His guys knew him too well. And even if they didn’t, the animal senses gave him away. “This is why you’re all worried about bringing a girl in?” Xavier asked. All four of them nodded back at him. “Shit. This is all my fault.”

“What’s all your fault?” Laurel rounded the bottom of the stairs, and every one of them clammed up and stared back her as if they’d been caught with their hand in the cookie jar. Xavier wanted to laugh, but damn if he didn’t feel the same.

“Nothing. We’re discussing a new hire for the crew,” he said.

Laurel reached for the resume and Harley snarled. Xavier silenced him with a look.

“Kyra Gold,” Laurel read aloud. “She sounds like a bad chick. She’s the new hire?”

Xavier shot a look at the guys and then answered, “Not yet. But she’s the best choice so far.”

“Or would be if she didn’t have a vagina,” Harley muttered.

“Dude,” Nash scolded him.

Laurel’s eyes widened, and she looked at Xavier. “You’re thinking of skipping over her because she’s a woman?” she demanded.

Her tone pricked at his temper, and he straightened, making sure to let the room know he was the boss here. “I’m talking to my crew about it,” he said pointedly.

Laurel glared right back at him. “Right. Because they’re much more important than anything I have to say.”

“Uh-oh. Alpha against alpha,” Jake said under his breath.

Laurel growled at him, spun on her heel, and headed for the stairs.

Xavier ran to catch up with her. “Wait,” he said, slipping in to block her path just before she could get away.

“Why? So you can list all the reasons women aren’t equals in the workplace? I can go to my own job to hear that,” she said. Underneath the flat tone, Xavier could hear the sting he’d caused.

“I don’t think that,” he said. “The guys are worried that—”

“She’s a girl. Got it, message received,” Laurel said.

“No.” He grabbed her by the shoulders and leaned in until she was forced to meet his gaze. “The guys are worried about fighting because their animals are all ready to mate. Because my polar bear is ready to mate. Because you came along and, I can’t get you out of my head. And I think my animal already claimed you because I can’t even stand to be more than three feet from you without being in utter misery. But then, I’m in misery when I’m with you because you argue so damn much that I don’t know what the hell to do.”

He wanted to yank his hair out when her surprise turned to a slow smile. She leaned in and kissed him on the mouth, completely confusing him. “I’m in misery for you too,” she said.

Around the corner in the dining hall, there was a collective mixture of groans and whistles. Laurel laughed. Confounded fucking woman. God, he loved her laugh, though. He considered carrying her upstairs right now and christening her new room.

“Boss, we’re hungry,” Jake called.

“Yeah,” Harley put in. “Can you and Mrs. Alpha finish up so we can go get some grub at Mack’s?”

“Dude, give him a break,” Nash said. “You know this is a big deal.”

“Getting laid is always a big deal,” Jake said. Harley snickered.

Xavier looked at Laurel. “You want to get some dinner with us?”

A shadow of worry passed over her, dimming her smile, but she brightened, and Xavier let it pass for now. “Sounds good. I’m starved,” she said.

The boys all whooped and made a stampede for the door. Xavier waited for them and then led Laurel out by the hand. He’d never met a more infuriating woman, of that he was sure. But despite her penchant for arguing and calling him out, he couldn’t escape her. Even when they were apart, she was all he saw. He’d close his eyes, and there she was. Waiting for him to put the past in the past. To stop being afraid to choose someone, even if it meant sometimes putting them first.

It was getting easier, though. The more time he spent with her, the more clearly he could see his future. His crew, his job saving people, and Laurel. His life could be a balance. He could do all of those things and still love Laurel the way she deserved. One day very soon, he’d find a way to tell her that. To make her believe it and let her give him a chance at it. She wouldn’t make it easy on him, though.

He already knew what he wanted. He wanted her. But if these past few days were any indication, it was going to be an all-out fight to get her.

M
ack’s Brewery
was loud and full of locals by the time Laurel pulled up with Xavier. He found a parking spot in the rear of the lot, away from the other cars and patrons. She cast him a quick look when he didn’t move to get out and found him frowning at her in the twilight. His chiseled jaw and toned arms were taut as he studied her. She was struck again at how beautiful he really was. And nothing like the rumors claimed. Wild, yes, but not in the way they said. Xavier’s emotions ran wild, and he did everything he could to keep that part of himself locked away. She knew because she did the same.

But now, seeing the concern in his eyes only made her want to reassure him, even if it meant letting her walls down. Baring herself was getting easier and easier with him.

“What is it?” she asked.

“You tell me,” he said. “You’ve been quiet and distant since we left the Lodge.”

“Your bear wants a mate,” she said, her voice low. But it didn’t help lessen the impact. The words felt huge and loud at any volume.

“It does,” he said simply, but she knew it was anything but simple. “Does it frighten you to know that?”

“Yes,” she admitted. “But only because my animal wants the same.” She watched the delight register in his eyes and then fade again as a shadow passed over. Just as she’d expected. “You’re still hiding something from me.”

He stared out the windshield with a faraway look, at the trees that bordered the lot. She wondered if he was even seeing the bar full of happy hour customers in front of them or if he’d gone somewhere else entirely. She’d seen that expression on him enough by now to know whatever the memory was, and it haunted him.

“You know I used to party a lot,” he said, and she was too surprised he was actually sharing to say a word. She wasn’t sure if he saw her nod, but he went on anyway. “All the rumors are true. Hell, the truth is probably worse. I drank a lot, and I was always the one suggesting a bonfire in the middle of the drought, a midnight swim in dark water, drag racing in an ice storm.”

He chuckled darkly and shook his head. “I always guessed one of my dumb dares would do me in, but in the end, she was just a girl. And I was just a guy wanting what every guy wants.”

She reached for him and laid her hand over his lap. “Xavier, you don’t have to—”

He laid a hand over hers and looked over. “I need to,” he said, and the exposed cut of his words made her heart ache for him.

“She and I were out by the lake one night, too far from any tower for proper reception. I’d begun working for Search and Rescue the summer before so I knew the drill. I was on call. I should never have driven up that far, but she was ready, and I was far too willing and distracted. Hormones. Anyway, a call came in. A brutal ice storm on the peaks the day prior and the melt on such a warm day had caused a slide. A woman was trapped. When Dad couldn’t reach me, he went up alone. He never made it back.”

“God, Xavier.” Laurel couldn’t find the words. She hurt for him, for the guy he was then and the mistake. The guilt, probably. And she finally understood his reluctance with her. She squeezed his hand.

Xavier cleared his throat. “He and the woman both died that night while I had a mediocre lay with a girl I never spoke to again.”

“I’m so sorry for you. Losing your dad that way… That must have been awful.” And the guilt… that was what haunted him now. “Thank you for sharing that with me,” she told him, touched.

“I figured when you knew, it would change things,” he said.

“It does,” she admitted and rushed on when she saw the uncertainty flash in his eyes. “It makes me even more determined to be myself. To stop hiding who I am. From you and everyone else, because maybe then you’ll do the same. We’re both living in hiding. Hiding from people in my life who are anti-shifter is one thing. The world will always be full of people who don’t like me for some reason or another. I’m learning to accept that. But you. You’re hiding from yourself, Xavier. From your future. I don’t know how to fix that.”

She thought he’d push her away. Storm off or tell her to leave it alone, something an alpha would do. Instead, Xavier reached for her and pulled her into his lap, smoothing her hair and pressing kisses to her temple. She was too shocked to do more than let him.

“You’re right about me but not about the differences in us,” he said.

“What do you mean?”

“The reasons we each have for hiding. The ones we are hiding from. They’re the same thing, love. We can fix each other.”

He kissed her then and any doubt she’d had about his words melted away. She had no idea if she could be fixed. That meant coming clean about her animal to the rest of the world. That thought still terrified her. Humans weren’t nice after that. Hell, neither were shifters. She didn’t know if she could be fixed, or if she wanted to. But here was her chance to find out.

She wound her arms around Xavier’s neck and held on tight as he deepened the kiss. Desire flooded her like a warm spray of water. When he parted her lips with his tongue, she rolled her hips reflexively against him. He growled into her mouth, and she prayed for the liquid heat to turn to fire, burning their clothes away. She vaguely hoped Xavier’s truck windows were tinted enough to shield her if anyone passed by, but then she was swept away in his kiss.

As if reading her mind, Xavier’s hands wandered, picking wildly at the hem of her blouse before sliding underneath the smooth fabric.

“I need to touch you,” he whispered.

She gasped as his fingers dipped inside her bra and brushed over her taut nipple. One and then the other and back again. With his other hand, he found his way to the seam of her pants and pressed his thumb against her clit. Laurel couldn’t think, could barely breathe.

“Please,” she begged, writhing against him now, half desperate for him.

She arched her back, tossing her head to the side and offering her neck without a thought.

Xavier licked and nipped at her before trailing kisses down her collarbone. She tried not to acknowledge the disappointment as he ignored her offering. She’d let him claim her right now if he wanted. But he didn’t. Neither of them would be fixed overnight.

Xavier unclasped her pants and slipped his fingers inside, sliding them against her clit until she squirmed.

“I’m going to make you come for me,” Xavier said, his hot breath against her neck.

“Please,” she begged, for what exactly she didn’t even know. For him, for her orgasm, for everything.

Xavier slid his finger lower, pushing inside her, and Laurel rolled her hips to meet him. He set an excruciatingly slow pace, and Laurel forced herself to slow with him. He dipped his tongue into her mouth, thrusting gently against her. Closer and closer to the edge, but only by inches. Laurel wanted power.

When he slid a second finger inside her, she lost it. “Faster,” she said against his mouth. “Please.”

She grabbed Xavier’s wrist and squeezed, guiding him into a faster pace. He growled and gave it to her. Hard and fast and frantic, he thrust into her. His kisses became harder too, catching her lips in his teeth as he nipped and licked at her. With a final thrust of his hand, he sent her up and then crashing over.

Laurel held on tight, her hips rocking as the aftershocks continued. Xavier stroked her softly, encouraging her to take her time riding them out. When she finally stilled, he was there, his kisses soft now. Inviting. Comforting. Easy.

Laurel’s limbs felt liquid. She hugged him, smiling as she stroked his scruffy cheek. Xavier was right, and they would fix each other. They had to; there was no going back for her.

Claiming or no, she was his.

T
he sun had already dipped
behind the mountains, throwing shadows over the parking lot as Laurel followed Xavier onto the deck at Mack’s. She understood now why no one else bothered to use the deck out here. Only shifters wouldn’t be bothered by the drastic temperature drop when the sun went down. Even in August, it was chilly with the sun gone.

Her hand was in Xavier’s as she walked. She spotted the Wilde crew at their usual table but stalled when she noticed Lucas wasn’t in his seat. He’d moved to the far end, leaving her the empty chair beside his alpha. Her heart panged, and she blinked back an unexpected tear.

“You all right?” Xavier asked in her ear.

“Better than,” she assured him. Who knew it could feel like this to have friends? To be accepted.

Lucas caught her eye. She smiled over at him in thanks as she slid into the chair Xavier held out for her. He ducked his head but not before she caught a returned smile of his own.

“Mr. and Mrs. Alpha have arrived,” Jake announced.

Xavier scowled as he took his seat but squeezed her hand.

“Fucking finally,” Harley muttered before draining his beer. “I’m starving.”

All of them already had a mug set in front of them, including her.

“I ordered you what’s on tap,” Nash said. “If you don’t like it, I’ll drink it.”

“Shit. I already called it,” Jake put in.

Laurel smiled across the table first at Nash and then Jake. “This is great, thanks.” She held her mug up and gulped while the boys looked on with widening eyes.

“Daaamn. Mrs. Alpha can drink,” Jake said in awe.

Laurel emptied the mug and set it down, wiping the corner of her mouth as delicately as she could. She peeked at Xavier, self-conscious now. She’d been parched after their little interlude in his truck but wondered if maybe she should’ve sipped instead.

Xavier blinked, shaking his head as if to clear it. “That was…”

“Unladylike?” she finished, wincing.

“Impressive as hell,” he said and planted a smacking kiss on her lips.

The crew applauded her. Even Harley clapped three times before scowling at her again.

Laurel laughed, the relief and happiness at their acceptance was so overwhelming. Laughing was better than crying, she told herself. And she was tempted to do both. Geez, how had she lived this long without friends?

A face across the deck caught her attention. She looked over and went still. Her heart dropped into her stomach as she recognized Scott, her assistant. He stood near the door, half-turned like he’d been headed inside. He looked frozen in place, just as shocked to see her.

“Laurel?” Xavier’s voice called her back, but she couldn’t take her eyes from the wiry man’s face.

Scott’s shock turned slowly to confusion. His brow wrinkled, and he swept a look over the rest of the crew before returning to her. Laurel stood quickly, almost knocking her chair over in the process. Lucas caught it like he had with Xavier’s the other day. She ignored him, ignored them all, and rushed to Scott just as he disappeared inside the bar.

“Scott!” She caught up to him inside, grabbing his elbow and then dropping it again when she realized what she’d done.

Crap. Physical touch was not appropriate in a professional relationship.

“Ms. Adams, what can I do for you?” Scott’s voice was nasally as always, but there was a coldness he’d never used at the office.

Surprise, she told herself. Of course, it was weird seeing her outside the office. Especially in such a relaxed setting.

“I just wanted to say hello,” she said, kicking herself for coming over here in the first place. What the heck was she supposed to say? Are you going to tell anyone you saw me with the most notorious crew of shifters in three states? Probably a little brazen.

“Hello,” Scott returned, still curt. He shot a disdainful look over her shoulder to Xavier and the others.

Laurel grit her teeth. “Look, I know it’s probably a surprise seeing me with the Wilde crew. Or seeing me here at all.” Scott’s brow rose, but he didn’t interrupt. Something about that irritated her, and she went straight into boss-lady mode. Her voice went hard as she said, “I just wanted to be polite and say hello, but let’s be clear. Our personal lives are our own, especially outside working hours. I trust you’ll give us both the respect we deserve by not bringing this back into the office tomorrow. Or ever.”

Scott’s eyes narrowed, but Laurel’s alpha act drained away. She knew if he argued or threatened or said anything but “yes, ma’am,” she’d fold. That was not happening. So she made the only move left to a boss-lady. She turned on her heel and strode away.

It might not shut Scott up forever. Probably tomorrow, there’d be consequences for her new alliance. Friends, she corrected herself. But tonight, she was determined to remain in control of her own choices. Tonight, at least, she would not hide.