William Shakespeare: The Complete Works 2nd Edition (272 page)
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Authors: William Shakespeare
Tags: #Drama, #Literary Criticism, #Shakespeare
BOOK: William Shakespeare: The Complete Works 2nd Edition
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If you go on thus, you will kill yourself,
And ’tis not wisdom thus to second grief
Against yourself.
And ’tis not wisdom thus to second grief
Against yourself.
LEONATO I pray thee cease thy counsel,
Which falls into mine ears as profitless
As water in a sieve. Give not me counsel,
Nor let no comforter delight mine ear
But such a one whose wrongs do suit with mine.
Bring me a father that so loved his child,
Whose joy of her is overwhelmed like mine,
And bid him speak of patience.
Measure his woe the length and breadth of mine,
And let it answer every strain for strain,
As thus for thus, and such a grief for such,
In every lineament, branch, shape, and form.
If such a one will smile and stroke his beard,
Bid sorrow wag, cry ‘hem’ when he should groan,
Patch grief with proverbs, make misfortune drunk
With candle-wasters, bring him yet to me,
And I of him will gather patience.
But there is no such man, for, brother, men
Can counsel and speak comfort to that grief
Which they themselves not feel, but tasting it
Their counsel turns to passion, which before
Would give preceptial medicine to rage,
Fetter strong madness in a silken thread,
Charm ache with air and agony with words.
No, no, ’tis all men’s office to speak patience
To those that wring under the load of sorrow,
But no man’s virtue nor sufficiency
To be so moral when he shall endure
The like himself. Therefore give me no counsel.
My griefs cry louder than advertisement.
As water in a sieve. Give not me counsel,
Nor let no comforter delight mine ear
But such a one whose wrongs do suit with mine.
Bring me a father that so loved his child,
Whose joy of her is overwhelmed like mine,
And bid him speak of patience.
Measure his woe the length and breadth of mine,
And let it answer every strain for strain,
As thus for thus, and such a grief for such,
In every lineament, branch, shape, and form.
If such a one will smile and stroke his beard,
Bid sorrow wag, cry ‘hem’ when he should groan,
Patch grief with proverbs, make misfortune drunk
With candle-wasters, bring him yet to me,
And I of him will gather patience.
But there is no such man, for, brother, men
Can counsel and speak comfort to that grief
Which they themselves not feel, but tasting it
Their counsel turns to passion, which before
Would give preceptial medicine to rage,
Fetter strong madness in a silken thread,
Charm ache with air and agony with words.
No, no, ’tis all men’s office to speak patience
To those that wring under the load of sorrow,
But no man’s virtue nor sufficiency
To be so moral when he shall endure
The like himself. Therefore give me no counsel.
My griefs cry louder than advertisement.
ANTONIO
Therein do men from children nothing differ.
LEONATO
I pray thee peace, I will be flesh and blood,
For there was never yet philosopher
That could endure the toothache patiently,
However they have writ the style of gods,
And made a pish at chance and sufferance.
For there was never yet philosopher
That could endure the toothache patiently,
However they have writ the style of gods,
And made a pish at chance and sufferance.
ANTONIO
Yet bend not all the harm upon yourself.
Make those that do offend you suffer, too.
Make those that do offend you suffer, too.
LEONATO
There thou speak’st reason, nay I will do so.
My soul doth tell me Hero is belied,
And that shall Claudio know, so shall the Prince,
And all of them that thus dishonour her.
My soul doth tell me Hero is belied,
And that shall Claudio know, so shall the Prince,
And all of them that thus dishonour her.
Enter Don Pedro the Prince and Claudio
ANTONIO
Here comes the Prince and Claudio hastily.
DON PEDRO
Good e‘en, good e’en.
CLAUDIO Good day to both of you.
LEONATO
Hear you, my lords?
DON PEDRO We have some haste, Leonato.
LEONATO
Some haste, my lord! Well, fare you well, my lord.
Are you so hasty now? Well, all is one.
Are you so hasty now? Well, all is one.
DON PEDRO
Nay, do not quarrel with us, good old man.
ANTONIO
If he could right himself with quarrelling,
Some of us would lie low.
Some of us would lie low.
CLAUDIO Who wrongs him?
LEONATO
Marry, thou dost wrong me, thou dissembler, thou.
Nay, never lay thy hand upon thy sword,
I fear thee not.
Nay, never lay thy hand upon thy sword,
I fear thee not.
CLAUDIO Marry, beshrew my hand
If it should give your age such cause of fear.
In faith, my hand meant nothing to my sword.
In faith, my hand meant nothing to my sword.
LEONATO
Tush, tush, man, never fleer and jest at me.
I speak not like a dotard nor a fool,
As under privilege of age to brag
What I have done being young, or what would do
Were I not old. Know Claudio to thy head,
Thou hast so wronged mine innocent child and me
That I am forced to lay my reverence by
And with grey hairs and bruise of many days
Do challenge thee to trial of a man.
I say thou hast belied mine innocent child.
Thy slander hath gone through and through her heart,
And she lies buried with her ancestors,
O, in a tomb where never scandal slept
Save this of hers, framed by thy villainy.
I speak not like a dotard nor a fool,
As under privilege of age to brag
What I have done being young, or what would do
Were I not old. Know Claudio to thy head,
Thou hast so wronged mine innocent child and me
That I am forced to lay my reverence by
And with grey hairs and bruise of many days
Do challenge thee to trial of a man.
I say thou hast belied mine innocent child.
Thy slander hath gone through and through her heart,
And she lies buried with her ancestors,
O, in a tomb where never scandal slept
Save this of hers, framed by thy villainy.
CLAUDIO
My villainy?
LEONATO Thine, Claudio, thine I say.
DON PEDRO
You say not right, old man.
LEONATO My lord, my lord,
I’ll prove it on his body if he dare,
Despite his nice fence and his active practice,
His May of youth and bloom of lustihood.
Despite his nice fence and his active practice,
His May of youth and bloom of lustihood.
CLAUDIO
Away, I will not have to do with you.
LEONATO
Canst thou so doff me? Thou hast killed my child.
If thou kill’st me, boy, thou shalt kill a man.
If thou kill’st me, boy, thou shalt kill a man.
ANTONIO
He shall kill two of us, and men indeed.
But that’s no matter, let him kill one first.
Win me and wear me. Let him answer me.
Come follow me boy, come sir boy, come follow me,
Sir boy, I’ll whip you from your foining fence.
Nay, as I am a gentleman, I will.
But that’s no matter, let him kill one first.
Win me and wear me. Let him answer me.
Come follow me boy, come sir boy, come follow me,
Sir boy, I’ll whip you from your foining fence.
Nay, as I am a gentleman, I will.
LEONATO Brother.
ANTONIO
Content yourself. God knows, I loved my niece,
And she is dead, slandered to death by villains
That dare as well answer a man indeed
As I dare take a serpent by the tongue.
Boys, apes, braggarts, jacks, milksops!
And she is dead, slandered to death by villains
That dare as well answer a man indeed
As I dare take a serpent by the tongue.
Boys, apes, braggarts, jacks, milksops!
LEONATO Brother Antony—
ANTONIO
Hold you content. What, man, I know them, yea
And what they weigh, even to the utmost scruple.
Scambling, outfacing, fashion-monging boys,
That lie, and cog, and flout, deprave, and slander,
Go anticly, and show an outward hideousness,
And speak off half a dozen dangerous words,
How they might hurt their enemies, if they durst,
And this is all.
And what they weigh, even to the utmost scruple.
Scambling, outfacing, fashion-monging boys,
That lie, and cog, and flout, deprave, and slander,
Go anticly, and show an outward hideousness,
And speak off half a dozen dangerous words,
How they might hurt their enemies, if they durst,
And this is all.
LEONATO But brother Antony—
ANTONIO Come, ’tis no matter,
Do not you meddle, let me deal in this.
DON PEDRO
Gentlemen both, we will not wake your patience.
My heart is sorry for your daughter’s death,
But on my honour she was charged with nothing
But what was true and very full of proof.
My heart is sorry for your daughter’s death,
But on my honour she was charged with nothing
But what was true and very full of proof.
LEONATO
My lord, my lord—
DON PEDRO I will not hear you.
LEONATO
No? Come brother, away. I will be heard.
ANTONIO
And shall, or some of us will smart for it.
Exeunt Leonato and Antonio
Enter Benedick
DON PEDRO
See, see, here comes the man we went to seek.
CLAUDIO Now signor, what news?
BENEDICK (
to Don Pedro
) Good day, my lord.
to Don Pedro
) Good day, my lord.
DON PEDRO Welcome, signor. You are almost come to part almost a fray.
CLAUDIO We had liked to have had our two noses snapped off with two old men without teeth.
DON PEDRO Leonato and his brother. What thinkest thou? Had we fought, I doubt we should have been too young for them.
BENEDICK In a false quarrel there is no true valour. I came to seek you both.
CLAUDIO We have been up and down to seek thee, for we are high-proof melancholy and would fain have it beaten away. Wilt thou use thy wit?
BENEDICK It is in my scabbard. Shall I draw it?
DON PEDRO Dost thou wear thy wit by thy side?
CLAUDIO Never any did so, though very many have been beside their wit. I will bid thee draw as we do the minstrels, draw to pleasure us.
DON PEDRO As I am an honest man he looks pale. Art thou sick, or angry?
CLAUDIO What, courage, man. What though care killed a cat, thou hast mettle enough in thee to kill care.
BENEDICK Sir, I shall meet your wit in the career an you charge it against me. I pray you choose another subject.
CLAUDIO Nay then, give him another staff. This last was broke cross.
DON PEDRO By this light, he changes more and more. I think he be angry indeed.
CLAUDIO If he be, he knows how to turn his girdle.
BENEDICK (
aside to Claudio
) Shall I speak a word in your ear?
aside to Claudio
) Shall I speak a word in your ear?
CLAUDIO God bless me from a challenge.
BENEDICK You are a villain. I jest not. I will make it good how you dare, with what you dare, and when you dare. Do me right, or I will protest your cowardice. You have killed a sweet lady, and her death shall fall heavy on you. Let me hear from you. 149
CLAUDIO Well, I will meet you, so I may have good cheer.
DON PEDRO What, a feast, a feast?
CLAUDIO I’faith, I thank him, he hath bid me to a calf’s head and a capon, the which if I do not carve most curiously, say my knife’s naught. Shall I not find a woodcock too? 155
BENEDICK Sir, your wit ambles well, it goes easily.
DON PEDRO I’ll tell thee how Beatrice praised thy wit the other day. I said thou hadst a fine wit. ‘True,’ said she, ‘a fine little one.’ ‘No,’ said I, ‘a great wit.’‘Right,’ says she, ‘a great gross one.’ ‘Nay,’ said I, ‘a good wit.’ ‘Just,’ said she, ‘it hurts nobody.’ ‘Nay,’ said I, ‘the gentleman is wise.’ ‘Certain,’ said she, ‘a wise gentleman.’ ‘Nay,’ said I, ‘he hath the tongues.‘ ‘That I believe,’ said she, ‘for he swore a thing to me on Monday night which he forswore on Tuesday morning. There’s a double tongue, there’s two tongues.’ Thus did she an hour together trans-shape thy particular virtues, yet at last she concluded with a sigh thou wast the properest man in Italy.
CLAUDIO For the which she wept heartily and said she cared not.
DON PEDRO Yea, that she did. But yet for all that, an if she did not hate him deadly she would love him dearly. The old man’s daughter told us all.
CLAUDIO All, all. And moreover, God saw him when he was hid in the garden.
DON PEDRO But when shall we set the savage bull’s horns on the sensible Benedick’s head?
CLAUDIO Yea, and text underneath, ‘Here dwells Benedick the married man’.
BENEDICK Fare you well, boy, you know my mind. I will leave you now to your gossip-like humour. You break jests as braggarts do their blades which, God be thanked, hurt not. (
To Don Pedro
) My lord, for your many courtesies I thank you. I must discontinue your company. Your brother the bastard is fled from Messina. You have among you killed a sweet and innocent lady. For my lord Lackbeard there, he and I shall meet, and till then, peace be with him. Exit
To Don Pedro
) My lord, for your many courtesies I thank you. I must discontinue your company. Your brother the bastard is fled from Messina. You have among you killed a sweet and innocent lady. For my lord Lackbeard there, he and I shall meet, and till then, peace be with him. Exit
DON PEDRO He is in earnest.
CLAUDIO In most profound earnest, and, I’ll warrant you, for the love of Beatrice.
DON PEDRO And hath challenged thee.
CLAUDIO Most sincerely.
DON PEDRO What a pretty thing man is when he goes in his doublet and hose and leaves off his wit! 196
Enter Dogberry and Verges the constables, the Watch, Conrad, and Borachio
CLAUDIO He is then a giant to an ape. But then is an ape a doctor to such a man.
DON PEDRO But soft you, let me be. Pluck up, my heart, and be sad. Did he not say my brother was fled?
DOGBERRY Come you sir, if justice cannot tame you, she shall ne’er weigh more reasons in her balance. Nay, an you be a cursing hypocrite once, you must be looked to.
DON PEDRO How now, two of my brother’s men bound? Borachio one.
CLAUDIO Hearken after their offence, my lord.
DON PEDRO Officers, what offence have these men done?
DOGBERRY Marry, sir, they have committed false report, moreover they have spoken untruths, secondarily they are slanders, sixth and lastly they have belied a lady, thirdly they have verified unjust things, and to conclude, they are lying knaves.
DON PEDRO First I ask thee what they have done, thirdly I ask thee what’s their offence, sixth and lastly why they are committed, and to conclude, what you lay to their charge.
CLAUDIO Rightly reasoned, and in his own division. And by my troth there’s one meaning well suited.
DON PEDRO (
to Conrad and Borachio
) Who have you offended, masters, that you are thus bound to your answer? This learned constable is too cunning to be understood. What’s your offence?
to Conrad and Borachio
) Who have you offended, masters, that you are thus bound to your answer? This learned constable is too cunning to be understood. What’s your offence?
BORACHIO Sweet Prince, let me go no farther to mine answer. Do you hear me, and let this Count kill me. I have deceived even your very eyes. What your wisdoms could not discover, these shallow fools have brought to light, who in the night overheard me confessing to this man how Don John your brother incensed me to slander the Lady Hero, how you were brought into the orchard and saw me court Margaret in Hero’s garments, how you disgraced her when you should marry her. My villainy they have upon record, which I had rather seal with my death than repeat over to my shame. The lady is dead upon mine and my master’s false accusation, and briefly, I desire nothing but the reward of a villain.
DON PEDRO (
to Claudio
) Runs not this speech like iron through your blood?
to Claudio
) Runs not this speech like iron through your blood?
CLAUDIO I have drunk poison whiles he uttered it.
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