William Shakespeare: The Complete Works 2nd Edition (31 page)
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Authors: William Shakespeare
Tags: #Drama, #Literary Criticism, #Shakespeare
BOOK: William Shakespeare: The Complete Works 2nd Edition
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Petruccio, patience. I am Grumio’s pledge.
Why this’ a heavy chance ’twixt him and you,
Your ancient, trusty, pleasant servant Grumio.
And tell me now, sweet friend, what happy gale
Blows you to Padua here from old Verona ?
Why this’ a heavy chance ’twixt him and you,
Your ancient, trusty, pleasant servant Grumio.
And tell me now, sweet friend, what happy gale
Blows you to Padua here from old Verona ?
PETRUCCIO
Such wind as scatters young men through the world
To seek their fortunes farther than at home,
Where small experience grows. But in a few,
Signor Hortensio, thus it stands with me :
Antonio, my father, is deceased,
And I have thrust myself into this maze
Happily to wive and thrive as best I may.
Crowns in my purse I have, and goods at home,
And so am come abroad to see the world.
To seek their fortunes farther than at home,
Where small experience grows. But in a few,
Signor Hortensio, thus it stands with me :
Antonio, my father, is deceased,
And I have thrust myself into this maze
Happily to wive and thrive as best I may.
Crowns in my purse I have, and goods at home,
And so am come abroad to see the world.
HORTENSIO
Petruccio, shall I then come roundly to thee
And wish thee to a shrewd, ill-favoured wife?
Thou‘dst thank me but a little for my counsel,
And yet I’ll promise thee she shall be rich,
And very rich. But thou’rt too much my friend,
And I’ll not wish thee to her.
And wish thee to a shrewd, ill-favoured wife?
Thou‘dst thank me but a little for my counsel,
And yet I’ll promise thee she shall be rich,
And very rich. But thou’rt too much my friend,
And I’ll not wish thee to her.
PETRUCCIO
Signor Hortensio, ’twixt such friends as we
Few words suffice; and therefore, if thou know
One rich enough to be Petruccio’s wife—
As wealth is burden of my wooing dance—
Be she as foul as was Florentius’ love,
As old as Sibyl, and as curst and shrewd
As Socrates’ Xanthippe or a worse,
She moves me not—or not removes at least
Affection’s edge in me, were she as rough
As are the swelling Adriatic seas.
I come to wive it wealthily in Padua;
If wealthily, then happily in Padua.
Few words suffice; and therefore, if thou know
One rich enough to be Petruccio’s wife—
As wealth is burden of my wooing dance—
Be she as foul as was Florentius’ love,
As old as Sibyl, and as curst and shrewd
As Socrates’ Xanthippe or a worse,
She moves me not—or not removes at least
Affection’s edge in me, were she as rough
As are the swelling Adriatic seas.
I come to wive it wealthily in Padua;
If wealthily, then happily in Padua.
GRUMIO (
to Hortensio)
Nay, look you, sir, he tells you flatly what his mind is. Why, give him gold enough and marry him to a puppet or an aglet-baby, or an old trot with ne’er a tooth in her head, though she have as many diseases as two-and-fifty horses. Why, nothing comes amiss so money comes withal.
to Hortensio)
Nay, look you, sir, he tells you flatly what his mind is. Why, give him gold enough and marry him to a puppet or an aglet-baby, or an old trot with ne’er a tooth in her head, though she have as many diseases as two-and-fifty horses. Why, nothing comes amiss so money comes withal.
HORTENSIO
Petruccio, since we are stepped thus far in,
I will continue that I broached in jest.
I can, Petruccio, help thee to a wife
With wealth enough, and young and beauteous,
Brought up as best becomes a gentlewoman.
Her only fault—and that is faults enough—
Is that she is intolerable curst,
And shrewd and froward so beyond all measure
That, were my state far worser than it is,
I would not wed her for a mine of gold.
I will continue that I broached in jest.
I can, Petruccio, help thee to a wife
With wealth enough, and young and beauteous,
Brought up as best becomes a gentlewoman.
Her only fault—and that is faults enough—
Is that she is intolerable curst,
And shrewd and froward so beyond all measure
That, were my state far worser than it is,
I would not wed her for a mine of gold.
PETRUCCIO
Hortensio, peace. Thou know‘st not gold’s effect.
Tell me her father’s name and ’tis enough,
For I will board her though she chide as loud
As thunder when the clouds in autumn crack.
Tell me her father’s name and ’tis enough,
For I will board her though she chide as loud
As thunder when the clouds in autumn crack.
HORTENSIO
Her father is Baptista Minola,
An affable and courteous gentleman.
Her name is Katherina Minola,
Renowned in Padua for her scolding tongue.
An affable and courteous gentleman.
Her name is Katherina Minola,
Renowned in Padua for her scolding tongue.
PETRUCCIO
I know her father, though I know not her,
And he knew my deceased father well.
I will not sleep, Hortensio, till I see her,
And therefore let me be thus bold with you
To give you over at this first encounter,
Unless you will accompany me thither.
And he knew my deceased father well.
I will not sleep, Hortensio, till I see her,
And therefore let me be thus bold with you
To give you over at this first encounter,
Unless you will accompany me thither.
GRUMIO I pray you, sir, let him go while the humour lasts. O’ my word, an she knew him as well as I do she would think scolding would do little good upon him. She may perhaps call him half a score knaves or so. Why, that’s nothing; an he begin once he’ll rail in his rope-tricks. I’ll tell you what, sir, an she stand him but a little he will throw a figure in her face and so disfigure her with it that she shall have no more eyes to see withal than a cat. You know him not, sir.
HORTENSIO
Tarry, Petruccio, I must go with thee,
For in Baptista’s keep my treasure is.
He hath the jewel of my life in hold,
His youngest daughter, beautiful Bianca,
And her withholds from me and other more,
Suitors to her and rivals in my love,
Supposing it a thing impossible,
For those defects I have before rehearsed,
That ever Katherina will be wooed.
Therefore this order hath Baptista ta’en:
That none shall have access unto Bianca
Till Katherine the curst have got a husband.
For in Baptista’s keep my treasure is.
He hath the jewel of my life in hold,
His youngest daughter, beautiful Bianca,
And her withholds from me and other more,
Suitors to her and rivals in my love,
Supposing it a thing impossible,
For those defects I have before rehearsed,
That ever Katherina will be wooed.
Therefore this order hath Baptista ta’en:
That none shall have access unto Bianca
Till Katherine the curst have got a husband.
GRUMIO Katherine the curst—
A title for a maid of all titles the worst.
HORTENSIO
Now shall my friend Petruccio do me grace,
And offer me disguised in sober robes
To old Baptista as a schoolmaster
Well seen in music, to instruct Bianca,
That so I may by this device at least
Have leave and leisure to make love to her,
And unsuspected court her by herself.
And offer me disguised in sober robes
To old Baptista as a schoolmaster
Well seen in music, to instruct Bianca,
That so I may by this device at least
Have leave and leisure to make love to her,
And unsuspected court her by herself.
Enter Gremio with a paper,
and Lucentio
disguised
as a
schoolmaster
GRUMIO Here’s no knavery. See, to beguile the old folks, how the young folks lay their heads together. Master, master, look about you. Who goes there, ha?
HORTENSIO
Peace, Grumio, it is the rival of my love.
Petruccio, stand by a while.
Petruccio, stand by a while.
GRUMIO
A proper stripling, and an amorous!
Petruccio, Hortensio, and Grumio stand aside
GREMIO (to
Lucentio)
Lucentio)
O, very well—I have perused the note.
Hark you, sir, I’ll have them very fairly bound—
All books of love, see that at any hand—
And see you read no other lectures to her.
You understand me. Over and beside
Signor Baptista’s liberality,
I’ll mend it with a largess. Take your paper, too,
And let me have them very well perfumed,
For she is sweeter than perfume itself
To whom they go to. What will you read to her?
Hark you, sir, I’ll have them very fairly bound—
All books of love, see that at any hand—
And see you read no other lectures to her.
You understand me. Over and beside
Signor Baptista’s liberality,
I’ll mend it with a largess. Take your paper, too,
And let me have them very well perfumed,
For she is sweeter than perfume itself
To whom they go to. What will you read to her?
LUCENTIO
Whate’er I read to her, I’ll plead for you
As for my patron, stand you so assured,
As firmly as yourself were still in place—
Yea, and perhaps with more successful words
Than you, unless you were a scholar, sir.
As for my patron, stand you so assured,
As firmly as yourself were still in place—
Yea, and perhaps with more successful words
Than you, unless you were a scholar, sir.
GREMIO
O this learning, what a thing it is!
GRUMIO (aside)
O this woodcock, what an ass it is!
PETRUCCIO Peace, sirrah.
HORTENSIO
Grumio, mum. (Coming forward) God save you, Signor Gremio.
GREMIO
And you are well met, Signor Hortensio.
Trow you whither I am going?
To Baptista Minola.
I promised to enquire carefully
About a schoolmaster for the fair Bianca,
And by good fortune I have lighted well
On this young man, for learning and behaviour
Fit for her turn, well read in poetry
And other books—good ones, I warrant ye.
Trow you whither I am going?
To Baptista Minola.
I promised to enquire carefully
About a schoolmaster for the fair Bianca,
And by good fortune I have lighted well
On this young man, for learning and behaviour
Fit for her turn, well read in poetry
And other books—good ones, I warrant ye.
HORTENSIO
‘Tis well, and I have met a gentleman
Hath promised me to help me to another,
A fine musician, to instruct our mistress.
So shall I no whit be behind in duty
To fair Bianca, so beloved of me.
Hath promised me to help me to another,
A fine musician, to instruct our mistress.
So shall I no whit be behind in duty
To fair Bianca, so beloved of me.
GREMIO
Beloved of me, and that my deeds shall prove.
GRUMIO
(aside)
And that his bags shall prove.
(aside)
And that his bags shall prove.
HORTENSIO
Gremio, ’tis now no time to vent our love.
Listen to me, and if you speak me fair
I’ll tell you news indifferent good for either.
Here is a gentleman whom by chance I met,
Upon agreement from us to his liking
Will undertake to woo curst Katherine,
Yea, and to marry her, if her dowry please.
Listen to me, and if you speak me fair
I’ll tell you news indifferent good for either.
Here is a gentleman whom by chance I met,
Upon agreement from us to his liking
Will undertake to woo curst Katherine,
Yea, and to marry her, if her dowry please.
GREMIO So said, so done, is well.
Hortensio, have you told him all her faults?
PETRUCCIO
I know she is an irksome brawling scold.
If that be all, masters, I hear no harm.
If that be all, masters, I hear no harm.
GREMIO
No, sayst me so, friend? What countryman?
PETRUCCIO
Born in Verona, old Antonio’s son.
My father dead, his fortune lives for me,
And I do hope good days and long to see.
My father dead, his fortune lives for me,
And I do hope good days and long to see.
GREMIO O sir, such a life with such a wife were strange.
But if you have a stomach, to’t, a’ God’s name.
You shall have me assisting you in all.
But will you woo this wildcat?
You shall have me assisting you in all.
But will you woo this wildcat?
PETRUCCIO Will I live!
GRUMIO
Will he woo her? Ay, or I’ll hang her.
PETRUCCIO
Why came I hither but to that intent?
Think you a little din can daunt mine ears?
Have I not in my time heard lions roar?
Have I not heard the sea, puffed up with winds,
Rage like an angry boar chafed with sweat?
Have I not heard great ordnance in the field,
And heaven’s artillery thunder in the skies?
Have I not in a pitched battle heard
Loud ’larums, neighing steeds, and trumpets’ clang?
And do you tell me of a woman’s tongue,
That gives not half so great a blow to hear
As will a chestnut in a farmer’s fire ?
Tush, tush—fear boys with bugs.
Think you a little din can daunt mine ears?
Have I not in my time heard lions roar?
Have I not heard the sea, puffed up with winds,
Rage like an angry boar chafed with sweat?
Have I not heard great ordnance in the field,
And heaven’s artillery thunder in the skies?
Have I not in a pitched battle heard
Loud ’larums, neighing steeds, and trumpets’ clang?
And do you tell me of a woman’s tongue,
That gives not half so great a blow to hear
As will a chestnut in a farmer’s fire ?
Tush, tush—fear boys with bugs.
GRUMIO For he fears none.
GREMIO Hortensio, hark.
This gentleman is happily arrived,
My mind presumes, for his own good and ours.
My mind presumes, for his own good and ours.
HORTENSIO
I promised we would be contributors,
And bear his charge of wooing, whatsoe’er.
And bear his charge of wooing, whatsoe’er.
GREMIO
And so we will, provided that he win her.
GRUMIO
I would I were as sure of a good dinner.
Enter Tranio, brave, as Lucentio, and Biondello
TRANIO Gentlemen, God save you. If I may be bold, tell me, I beseech you, which is the readiest way to the house of Signor Baptista Minola?
BIONDELLO He that has the two fair daughters—is’t he you mean?
TRANIO Even he, Biondello.
GREMIO
Hark you, sir, you mean not her to—
TRANIO
Perhaps him and her, sir. What have you to do?
PETRUCCIO
Not her that chides, sir, at any hand, I pray.
TRANIO
I love no chiders, sir. Biondello, let’s away.
LUCENTIO
(aside)
(aside)
Well begun, Tranio.
HORTENSIO Sir, a word ere you go.
Are you a suitor to the maid you talk of—yea or no?
TRANIO
And if I be, sir, is it any offence?
GREMIO
No, if without more words you will get you hence.
TRANIO
Why, sir, I pray, are not the streets as free
For me as for you?
For me as for you?
GREMIO But so is not she.
TRANIO
For what reason, I beseech you?
GREMIO
For this reason, if you’ll know—
That she’s the choice love of Signor Gremio.
That she’s the choice love of Signor Gremio.
HORTENSIO
That she’s the chosen of Signor Hortensio.
TRANIO
Softly, my masters. If you be gentlemen,
Do me this right, hear me with patience.
Baptista is a noble gentleman
To whom my father is not all unknown,
And were his daughter fairer than she is
She may more suitors have, and me for one.
Fair Leda’s daughter had a thousand wooers;
Then well one more may fair Bianca have,
And so she shall. Lucentio shall make one,
Though Paris came, in hope to speed alone.
Do me this right, hear me with patience.
Baptista is a noble gentleman
To whom my father is not all unknown,
And were his daughter fairer than she is
She may more suitors have, and me for one.
Fair Leda’s daughter had a thousand wooers;
Then well one more may fair Bianca have,
And so she shall. Lucentio shall make one,
Though Paris came, in hope to speed alone.
GREMIO
What, this gentleman will out-talk us all!
LUCENTIO
Sir, give him head, I know he’ll prove a jade.
PETRUCCIO
Hortensio, to what end are all these words?
HORTENSIO
Sir, let me be so bold as ask you,
Did you yet ever see Baptista’s daughter?
Did you yet ever see Baptista’s daughter?
TRANIO
No, sir, but hear I do that he hath two,
The one as famous for a scolding tongue
As is the other for beauteous modesty.
The one as famous for a scolding tongue
As is the other for beauteous modesty.
PETRUCCIO
Sir, sir, the first’s for me. Let her go by.
GREMIO
Yea, leave that labour to great Hercules,
And let it be more than Alcides’ twelve.
And let it be more than Alcides’ twelve.
PETRUCCIO
Sir, understand you this of me in sooth,
The youngest daughter whom you hearken for
Her father keeps from all access of suitors,
And will not promise her to any man
Until the elder sister first be wed.
The younger then is free, and not before.
The youngest daughter whom you hearken for
Her father keeps from all access of suitors,
And will not promise her to any man
Until the elder sister first be wed.
The younger then is free, and not before.
TRANIO
If it be so, sir, that you are the man
Must stead us all, and me amongst the rest,
And if you break the ice and do this feat,
Achieve the elder, set the younger free
For our access, whose hap shall be to have her
Will not so graceless be to be ingrate.
Must stead us all, and me amongst the rest,
And if you break the ice and do this feat,
Achieve the elder, set the younger free
For our access, whose hap shall be to have her
Will not so graceless be to be ingrate.
HORTENSIO
Sir, you say well, and well you do conceive;
And since you do profess to be a suitor
You must, as we do, gratify this gentleman,
To whom we all rest generally beholden.
And since you do profess to be a suitor
You must, as we do, gratify this gentleman,
To whom we all rest generally beholden.
TRANIO
Sir, I shall not be slack. In sign whereof,
Please ye we may contrive this afternoon,
And quaff carouses to our mistress’ health,
And do as adversaries do in law—
Strive mightily, but eat and drink as friends.
Please ye we may contrive this afternoon,
And quaff carouses to our mistress’ health,
And do as adversaries do in law—
Strive mightily, but eat and drink as friends.
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