Willie's Redneck Time Machine (7 page)

YEAH, PROBABLY A GOOD THING
not to pick a fight with guys half your age. It could get ugly.

You walk off toward the gym. You’re getting lots of looks. But it’s okay
 
—you’re not doing anything abnormal. It’s just that here, people are wondering who in the world you are. Most places, people already know who you are, and they look anyway. At least nobody’s gonna come up and make you pose for a selfie with them.

Back in 1990, there was no such thing as a selfie.

And the world was a better place because of it.

As you enter the gym, you notice a DJ near the back of the room. He’s actually playing records. That’s so vintage and cool.

You scan the crowd but can’t see John Luke.

What about Korie? What about me?

The two of you, age eighteen, are somewhere in this building. Maybe dancing. Maybe talking with friends.

You get this crazy idea in your head as you watch the DJ.

What if you requested a song? Your song, the one Korie and you always sing when you’re doing karaoke.

You smile.

Or . . . what if you introduced the teens of West Monroe High to one of the greatest dance crazes ever to hit YouTube?

You know you have to find John Luke. But sometimes in life you also gotta have fun. Especially if you’ve actually landed back at your prom.

Do you decide to be responsible and find John Luke?
Go here
.

Do you decide to play your karaoke song?
Go here
.

Do you introduce the students to one of the greatest dance crazes ever?
Go here
.

YOU DON’T STEP OUT
of the machine at first. You wait, something you don’t always like to do. But from where you stand, squinting out of the duck-shaped opening in the door, you realize this thing you’re in
 
—the outhouse
 
—is resting in an open field. In the distance, you notice a group of men on horses. They’re dressed like Confederate soldiers.

Maybe this is one of those places that does war reenactments.

Regardless, you think they’ll start coming your way at any moment. But they don’t. They pass several hundred yards away as if they don’t see the machine.

Maybe they don’t.

Once they’re gone, you take a step out into the sunlight. As your eyes adjust, you hear the sound of a duck call
 
—the
Duck Picker, to be exact. You realize it must be Jase since no one else can do that call so well.

You turn toward it and see him riding a horse behind another Confederate soldier. This one’s wearing a fancier and darker uniform than the men who passed by earlier. His face looks tough under his cap, and his beard makes him seem like he’d be at home at Duck Commander.

“I finally got him!” Jase yells.

When he pulls up next to you, Jase is out of breath. He’s somehow wearing a Confederate soldier’s uniform too. But he still has his signature shades on.

“How’d you get that?” you ask.

“I’ve been here for a week. What took you so long?”

You shrug and try to figure out how Jase could have been in the 1800s for that many days. “A week? What are you talking about?”

“That machine
 
—the one you just traveled in. It’s a time machine. Didn’t you meet the big redheaded guy? Long hair and a beard?”

You nod. “Yeah.”

“He’s like the time travel guru. Didn’t really tell me how to work the thing, but he said you can’t actually die during time travel because things would get messed up, so yeah. You’ll just end up back at home, I guess. Nice to know.”

“Uh-huh. Hey, is John Luke around here somewhere?”

“Don’t think so, man. Haven’t seen him.”

How are you going to find John Luke when he could be anywhere in time or space? “Where are we right now?”

“This is Spotsylvania County in Virginia. It’s April 29, 1863.”

“So let me get this right,” you say, staring at your brother on the horse. “You chose to go back to the Civil War?”

“Absolutely.”

“What kind of idiot gets to travel in time and goes back to
the Civil War
? Do you want to die?”

The Confederate soldier on horseback, who’s been watching you in silence all this time, clears his throat before interrupting. “I will not tolerate this any further!”

He’s got a commanding voice with a deep Southern drawl. You know he’s gotta be someone important.

“Go your own way and I will not follow you,” the man says.

“Do you know who this is?” Jase asks you.

You look at the face and swear you’ve seen this man before. He looks like someone you don’t want to mess with.

“I keep tellin’ him I’m savin’ his life,” Jase says.

Your brother hops off his horse and tries to help the soldier off too, but the guy doesn’t let him. He insists on dismounting on his own.

“Tell him who you are,” Jase says to the man.

The man has animated eyes that don’t fit with his sad, stern face. “My name is Lieutenant General Thomas Jonathan Jackson, commander of the second corps of General Robert E. Lee’s Army of Northern Virginia. And I demand to be let go.”

Jase looks like he just made the biggest catch of his life.

“Wait a minute,” you say. “Are you Stonewall Jackson? General Stonewall Jackson?”

“Yes.”

You’re not quite an expert on history here, but you try to remember what happened.

“Isn’t . . . ? Where are we at?” you ask.

“Near the village of Chancellorsville.”

The commanding way the man speaks would be enough to encourage you to take a gun and go into battle.

This is General Stonewall Jackson.
The
Stonewall Jackson.

You almost ask him for an autograph before realizing something.

“Uh, Jase
 
—hey, uh, come over here for a minute.”

You step away from Jackson and begin to whisper so he can’t hear you.

“Do you know what’s about to happen?” you ask in a soft voice.

“Of course I do! The Battle of Chancellorsville.”

“You can’t change history. What do you think you’re doing?”

Jase laughs. “Exactly what you think I’m doing.”

“And how’d you get that costume?”

“It’s real, and that’s really Stonewall Jackson.”

“Then that means it’s really 1863!”

“Yes, it does,” Jase says. “And I think I’m gonna help General Jackson here.”

Somehow time travel has made Jase’s brain shrink.

“You do know that you can’t rewrite the past,” you tell him. “I mean
 
—I know you’re all into the Confederate flag and all that, but a lot of good things happened when the South lost.”

Jase clearly doesn’t want to listen. He’s caught up in the moment.

You have to make a decision
 
—and fast. The future as you know it might be forever changed.

Why didn’t I study history a little better?

Do you keep the general in your possession for the moment and hope you can figure out a plan to ditch him later?
Go here
.

Do you force Jase to let Stonewall Jackson go, then make him get back in the time machine with you?
Go here
.

YOU DECIDE TO KEEP SEARCHING FOR JOHN LUKE.

The song changes to “Pour Some Sugar on Me,” and you see a kid on the dance floor rocking out while his mullet hairstyle rocks with him. You shake your head. You know you had the same style for quite a while.

Wait, maybe I still had the mullet back in 1990!

You scan the crowd of a hundred students dancing and look for someone not dressed up. But John Luke is nowhere to be found. You do see your old gym teacher and the chemistry teacher. You wonder if they’re going to recognize you.

Of course they won’t.

An adult chaperone
 
—possibly someone’s mother
 
—approaches you, and you say you’re a relative of the Robertson boys. The chaperone nods at your explanation but makes it clear she’s going to be keeping a careful watch on you.

Where would John Luke be right now?

You walk the perimeter of the gym, the lights dimmed to add mood to the dance floor. You’re about to make it around the entire floor when you see a figure you haven’t thought of for years.

Samantha Price.

The quiet girl who, you remember, was always nice to everybody but had the great misfortune of dating Rick Hoight her junior and senior years. Until she got dumped.

Like on this very night.

Samantha is still at the dance, but why, you don’t know. You wouldn’t have known back in high school either, but of course you didn’t pay attention to her then. You were young and busy and in love.

Something about seeing Samantha breaks your heart.

You would learn after graduating that Rick broke up with Samantha at prom in favor of some younger girl. Then he’d dump that girl and try to win Samantha back. But she was smart enough to say no.

She’s not with her friends because they’re on the dance floor.

So is Rick. He’s dancing with his new girl for the night.

You realize you have this strange opportunity to do something for her. But what? What could you possibly do for Samantha?

Do you decide not to get distracted and keep trying to find John Luke?
Go here
.

Do you come up with an idea to make Samantha’s night?
Go here
.