Winning Back Ryan (34 page)

              “I already wasn’t a virgin in this photo.”

             
“Jesus Christ,” I muttered under my breath. I wrapped my arms around him, hugging him tightly. “I’m sorry,” I whispered.

             
He chuckled. “Annie, I’m a guy. Losing your virginity at thirteen makes you a god. For a girl, it makes you a whore. I don’t like the double standard, but it is what it is.”

I shook my head. I knew him better than that.

              “There’s no way that you could have understood the power of intimacy at thirteen. You just got your rocks off, and maybe found a warm body to rest your head against for a while.”

He remained quiet for a long time.

              To boost his ego, though, I said, “So, you paint, sculpt, play the drums and guitar. You sing, you were a model, you apparently know other languages, and you’re in a prestigious law school, so you’re not a dummy. Do you realize just how intimidating you are? How is a mere mortal supposed to keep up? When you settle down, you’ll need to find a supermodel who plays the harp, loves to rock climb, and on the weekend donates her time to helping orphaned children for the relationship to feel even slightly balanced.”

             
“Well when you put it that way, I am ridiculously amazing. Seriously, I am one sexy beast.”

I rested my cheek on his back laughing hard, feeling him laugh with me.

              “And modest. We forgot that quality.”

             
“That goes without saying. So, I better start looking for my dream girl who has the body of a porn star, Einstein’s brain, and the heart of Mother Teresa.”

             
“Who wants to have twenty kids,” I added.

             
“Right. Who wants twenty kids.” He released an exhausted sigh. “I’ll start looking next week.”

             
“Why next week? You don’t think your order is tall enough?” I murmured against his back.

             
“Princess, let me give you some truth. The best thing in life; the one thing truly worth finding is a crazy bitch.”

             
“Why is that?” I asked.

             
“Because the pussy is always the best,” he replied matter-of-factly.

             
“And that’s all you care about?” I asked.

             
“No. But, if the two of you are busy burning holes through your sheets, the rest tends to just fall into place. If you’re sexually compatible, you usually find yourself compatible everywhere else in life. Plus, crazy bitches who put you through drama are always the hottest. I don’t need a perfect woman. I just need one who drives me crazy.”

He opened his mouth about to continue speaking, but a knock on the door stopped him.

              “Food’s here.” He hopped off of the bed, jogging towards the door. I took a swig of my beer and followed him out.

I grabbed the bag of food from him as he paid the delivery man. I carried the bag to his coffee table as I began to unpack the large bag. Ben locked the door, walking back into the room.

              “You don’t think you went a little overboard?” I asked, looking at the ten different trays of food spread out across the coffee table, finishing the last sip of my beer.

             
“Me?” Ben asked innocently. “Go overboard? Never.”

I snorted. Sitting down the empty beer, I started opening some of the lids. I squinted, and realized the sun was beginning to rise.

              “Can we eat watching the sun?”

He answered by moving the entire couch, so that it was facing the windows. He drew the curtains and I picked up a container before plopping down on to the sofa.

He grabbed his container before sitting down next to me. As I sucked a noodle into my mouth, I stared in amazement.

             
“Absolutely beautiful,” I murmured.

             
“Yeah, it is,” he replied softly, his hand patting my knee as we watched the sun begin to rise on the New York skyline.

             
“Hand off my knee.” I flicked a noodle onto his shirt, and he looked amused. I could tell he was deciding how to retaliate.

Knock. Knock. Knock.

**

             
Some Sundays start off more interesting than others. When I woke up, I felt skin pressing against mine, and the weight of a solid body on top of me. I sniffed; my eyes still unopened, and smelled the faintest trace of Jack Daniels, sweat, and vanilla.

             
I opened my eyes to confirm what I already knew. Brian’s head was using my breasts as a pillow, his arms wrapped around me. Looking at his body, I knew he was naked too. But, where were we? I glanced around the room and realize that we were in Ben’s bedroom. On the end table next to us was a condom wrapper, the condom peeking out of the ripped package. Oh, God. I searched my mind for any memories at all, but it was coming up blank. I jumped up out of bed, tossing Brian off of me in the process, as I grabbed the sheet, wrapping it around my body.

             
“Ugghhmmmff,” Brian garbled as he hit the bed.

             
“What’s going on?” I asked as Brian glanced up at me, blinking.

             
“Good morning to you, too,” he said, wiping his eyes.

I let out the air that I held as I told myself to calm down. It’s Brian. I was in Ben’s apartment, not a jail cell; this did not warrant hysterics.

I slid back in bed, unwrapping the sheet from my body, draping the other half over him as well. The comforter now lay somewhere on the floor.

             
“What happened? “ I asked. “How did we get here?”

             
“You don’t remember?” he asked. I shook my head. “Seriously?” His voice took on a note of panic.

             
I searched my mind. “The last thing I remember is eating Thai food and there was a knock on the door.”

             
“You’ve gotta be kidding me,” he said. He ran his hand over his face. “Alright, alright,” he took a long breath. “Everything’s alright. We fought, we made up, you ripped my clothes off, and we tumbled into the bedroom. That’s the short of it.”

I closed my eyes, feeling the intense blush on my cheeks.

              “Was it…good? At least okay?”

He smiled, skimming his nose across my cheek.

              “It was much more than good. It was incredible.”

             
“Yeah?” I asked unable to stop smiling.

             
“Maybe we can jog your memory.” His hand moved to my breast, slowly moving down my belly to my sex. His index finger and middle finger slid down between my folds. I groaned, closing my eyes tightly, blushing. “Annie, do you want me to stop?” He asked, concern in his voice.

             
“No, I’m just embarrassed. I’ll already need to go down the walk of shame once I leave this room.” I cringed, knowing the guys would likely never let me live this down.

He chuckled as his finger flicked my clit gently, causing me to groan louder.

             
“No one should give you too hard of a time.”

I smiled, though still embarrassed. I woke up hung over after having drunk sex with my best friend. This felt very college-y. Yet, at the same time it felt wonderful as Brian played with and teased my body.

              “Annie,” he said, “Open your eyes.” I did, looking at him.

             
“Why are you always so afraid to look at me? Why do you always blush intensely right before you orgasm as if what you feel is wrong?” he asked me, his eyes troubled.

I was taken by surprise at his words. What exactly did I do last night?

              “I’ve got issues,” I admitted. “I guess it’s something that I have to work on.”

             
“Well, we can work on it together,” he said, his voice deliciously low.

             
I kissed his cheek, letting my lips linger. “We’ll see,” I whispered into his skin. I was not going to allow Brian to believe that I was just going to sweep this situation under the rug and pretend everything was perfect. “I’m still angry with you. I know we apparently made up, but I don’t remember it, and what you did still hurts like hell.”

He turned his head, angling it, so that our lips were nearly touching.

              “If you never forgive me, and I lose you to someone else, I won’t regret what I did. It doesn’t matter that it ripped me apart to see you crying that night knowing that I was somewhat responsible. You deserve more.”

             
“You manipulated me, because you assumed that I wouldn’t believe you. You should have had more faith in us, in our friendship.” I ran my fingers through his hair. “I always have picked you over Ryan, haven’t I?”

Brian yanked his head back staring at me.

              “When have you chosen me over him?” he asked.

             
“When have I not?” I wiped the sleep from my eyes.

             
“Oh, I don’t know. Every night that you were in bed with him. Just for starters.”

             
“You’re ridiculous,” I said, getting out of bed, searching for my clothes.

             
“Is that so? Five years we’ve been friends, Annie! Why have we never gotten together before now?” he asked.

             
I didn’t want to answer this question. The pain came back viciously and I was so hung over that I couldn’t defend myself against it. The pain of nearly losing him that night.  Sometimes I had nightmares of opening Brian’s door and finding his body lying lifeless like that again. I knew that they were stupid fears- Brian went to counseling, he took anti-depressants, and he did everything that they asked him to do. He was better than he had ever been. Still, if I was being honest with only myself, I knew that it was Brian’s suicide attempt that pushed me straight into Ryan’s arms. There was no drama or baggage there- just a smokin’ hot guy who was very charismatic. Later on, I realized he was a man burdened by the pain of a poverty-filled, fatherless childhood. It was a perfect match for me seeing how I need to be needed. I didn’t want to talk about this with Brian though, especially not while I was hung over. I buried it a long time ago. I was not in the mood to unearth old pain today. I found Ben’s t-shirt, yanking it over my head, then his shorts, sliding them up my legs. The location of my underwear was still a mystery.

             
Brian glared at me. “Are you going to answer me?”

             
“Is anyone else here?” I shouted.

The door opened and Ben entered in his birthday suit.

              “Morning, party girl.”

I screamed loudly and George entered shirtless, but with pants on- Thank God- glancing around. He looked at Ben and shook his head.

              “Get some clothes on, man.”

             
“I don’t want to. I like to air the boys out in the morning,” Ben replied.

As I stood there wondering what happened last night, Max entered the room with a frying pan in hand, bacon sizzling.

              “Who wants breakfast?” he asked cheerfully.

             
“What happened last night?” I screeched, looking at Max knowing that he’d tell me.

             
“What do you remember?” Ben asked.

             
“I flung a noodle on your shirt. There was a knock on the door,” I answered. They all glanced at each other chuckling.

             
“Guys, what…what happened? Who did I sleep with last night?” I asked, preparing for the worst.
Oh, God, you are such a whore, Annie.

They all glanced at each other with curious expressions.

              “You and I spent the night together,” Brian said, and when I glanced at him he was now wearing boxers standing beside me.

             
“I didn’t sleep with anyone else, right?” I asked.

They all shook their heads.

              “Oh, thank God,” I sighed in relief, covering my face momentarily. It could be so much worse. Granted I was still furious at Brian and couldn’t remember a thing from last night, but at least I was only with Brian and it seemed like we used protection. I glanced at Ben still naked. “Go get some clothes on.”

             
“Nope,” he said as he stretches his arms out. “You’re in my apartment, and you fucked in my bed. I’ve never even done that. So, I’m walking around naked, and you’ll just have to put your big girl panties on.”

             
“What are you talking about? You’ve never had sex in your bed? Where on Earth do you bring all of those girls?” I asked.

             
“We have an apartment down Twenty-Eighth Street for tax purposes. My dad and I share it. Aside from my cleaning lady, my sisters, and my mother, you are the only woman who has ever been in this apartment. Very few people even know I live here, and nearly all of those people are standing in this room right now.” He shrugged nonchalantly. “Just makes it easier with the press and crazy chicks.”