Winning Back Ryan (36 page)

Brian patted his chest, and I laid my head down as he rubbed my back. I felt so horrible that I loved the comforting gesture.

              We arrived at the train station, and I slipped the money out of my wallet to pay the cab. Brian waved me off, paying the man.

             
“We were supposed to share, remember? You wanted to share the cab.”

             
Brian smiled widely. “Yeah, I wanted to share the backseat with you. I didn’t want to share the cost.”

             
“You were just trying to get me close to you, perv,” I teased.

             
“You figured me out,” he said before stepping out of the car.

**

              We were lucky that the timing was right and our train waited as we stepped on.

             
We sat in silence for a moment, before he asked, “So, what’s going on with us?”

             
“First, let’s talk about our living arrangement. You know, money.” I shook my head. “I can’t keep living there.”

He looked out the window in front of us for a moment
before turning back towards me.             

             
“For now, I expect nothing from you. When you’re out of your lease, I’d like you to move in with me permanently.” I sat there shocked as I waited for him to continue. “I want to save up for a house. If you live with me I can save more. I know my apartment is nearly half the size of your current one, but there are all of those amenities.”

             
I nodded. It would be difficult to pull rent on my own. I could do it, but there’d be very little money for anything else. Brian’s apartment was much smaller than mine, and he paid more than I did, so my costs would increase.  But, living with a friend was much better than moving in with some random stranger. Wait a minute! Why was I even debating this? This was Brian we were talking about. I’d get to live with Brian, my best friend. This would be awesome! I’d have to do something about his early morning energy, though.

             
“You’re right. There are a lot of amenities.” I kissed his cheek. “Like the ridiculously sexy man that will be there tempting me every second of every day.” He turned his head toward me, as I heard him take a ragged breath. “Tell me, would I be able to wake up to that gorgeous window view every morning with your arms wrapped around me?”

             
His eyes widened, looking outrageously hopeful. “Every single day.”

I bit my bottom lip. I couldn’t let him know yet. Brian loved surprises. He’d really love this one.

              “Can I have some time to think about it?” I asked. He nodded.

             
“So, what are you doing today?” I could hear the hope in his tone.

             
I shrugged. “Hanging out with my boyfriend.” My eyes flickered to his. “Right?”

He grabbed my face with both hands planting a kiss on my cheeks. I blinked in surprise- that cup of coffee hadn’t kicked in yet- and he rested his forehead against mine.

              “I love you,” he whispered.

             
I tilted my head, kissing his lips. “I love you, too.”

             
“Annie, you thought we were great as friends. I swear, it was just the beginning. I’m going to make you so happy…or die trying,” he said, his lips hovering over mine.

             
I pressed my lips to his again. “I know you are.” I rested my head on his chest. “I’ve tried fighting these feelings, ignoring them, burying them. Nothing has worked. The only option left is to explore them. So, let’s see where they take us.”

Brian leaned over, taking his key ring out. He slipped a key off his ring.

              “In case you change your mind. I don’t want you unable to be there. As far as I’m concerned, you already live there, so you can come and go as you please.” I tried to fight back the smile as I took the keys and slid them onto my ring.

**

              We spent the rest of the day cuddling on the couch, watching movies. My hangover was too severe to do much else. He kissed me constantly, his mouth always searching mine, his arms wrapped around mine as though if he released me for even a second, I’d vanish. It was comforting to be showered with kisses and affection, but I was disappointed that I missed church again. No drinking next Saturday, I told myself, so I could make it to service. After eating take-out for dinner, we cuddled in bed.

             
Finally, I swatted his arm, “I’m trying to go to sleep here. It’s impossible when you keep kissing me.”

             
“I can’t help myself,” I could see his eyes shining through the dark.

             
“Do I need to go sleep on the couch?” I teased. I had no intention of getting out of bed.

He sighed long and hard before resting his head on my chest.

              “No.”

I kissed the top of his hair before drifting off to sleep.

**

             
The next morning, he nearly assaulted me with kisses. “Good morning, my beautiful, intelligent, amazing girlfriend.”

             
I giggled at his praise. He tried kissing my lips, but I covered my mouth, shaking my head. “I’ve got morning breath. Let me brush my teeth.”

             
He rolled his eyes, scoffing at me. “I can’t believe you’re going to make me wait to kiss you,” he groused.

             
I tumbled out of bed. “You know what they say, “good things come to….”

             
“Yeah, yeah, I know the saying.” He smiled brightly.

We started our morning routine just like every other day- one disgusting green shake, one muscle aching jog, and one beautiful skyline to watch sitting next to my boyfriend. All in all, a pretty spectacular way to start a morning, I’d say. After showering- Brian peaking several times while I was inside- and dressing, we were ready to leave. He walked with me to the train station, and left me a kiss so long and intense that I tingled down to my toes. Thankfully, we needed to take different trains, so he thought nothing when he hopped on the train, and I waved him goodbye.

I took out my phone and called my boss, telling her that I woke up with a stomach bug and couldn’t come in. After she hemmed and hawed for a while, I finally hung up having the day off from work.

I then called Ben.

              After several rings, he answered groggily, “What do you want?”

             
“I need to call in a big favor,” I said.

He let out a long, exaggerated sigh, and I rolled my eyes in response. It didn’t matter that we were on the phone; he knew what I was doing.

              “What do you need, Princess?” he asked.

             
“Alright, Brian just got on the train to go to work. He thinks that I am about to, too. I just called out of work. I want to move everything of mine completely out of the apartment today and then decorate Brian’s apartment so he knows that I’ve moved in officially. Then I’m going to cook him his favorite dinner.”

             
“I can’t cook, Princess, but I can sure as hell eat,” he replied in Ben’s typical smart ass way.

             
“I need you to help me move stuff out. There really won’t be a lot at all, but just in case there’s something a little heavy. You have the car, and those muscles, and…I know for a fact that you don’t take classes on Monday.”

             
“And what will I get in return?” he asked. I knew that meant yes.

             
“We can have lunch at that place with the really skanky waitress. My treat,” I bargained.

             
“The one who wears her shorts so short, the bottom of her ass hangs out?” he asked.

             
“Yup.”

             
“Meet ya at your apartment then. I’m getting dressed as we speak.”

I tossed my phone into my purse, smiling as I walked off the train platform, back towards my apartment. I couldn’t help the excitement I felt, the butterflies flapping around in my stomach. There was nothing in the world that Brian loved more than surprises.

**

             
Outside my apartment building, Chuck sat cross legged.

             
“I’m going to miss you,” I said to him.

             
“You going somewhere?” he asked.

             
I nodded. “I’m moving out today for good. I won’t be coming back.”

             
His eyes held resignation and sadness. “You don’t know how sorry I am to hear that.” I gave him a sad smile before I started making my way into the apartment building. “I wish you’d give him another chance.”

With my hand paused on the door, I shook my head.

              “I can’t do cheating.”

He frowned. “I know, but after everything that he’s gone through in life, he
deserves a good girl like you.”

             
My head cocked sideways. “How do you know about his life?”

             
He sighed, suddenly looking years older. “My name is Charles Kindall.”

             
My eyes grew wide. “You’re Ryan’s father?” I pointed at him. “You were dating Ryan’s mother for years before you raped her and she wound up pregnant with Ryan. She took you back for a few years, and then you finally split when Ryan was a toddler.”

             
Charles glanced down in shame. “I left from the guilt. I had a horrible temper when I drank. I loved her; I never meant to hurt her. Ryan was better off without a father like me.”

             
“What a cop out answer! You could have at least sent money for the child you created,” I spat. “When I get back down here, you better be gone, or I’m calling the cops. And you’re right. He was better off without you.”

             
It’s scary how little you could know about someone right underneath your nose. By the time I reached the top of my stairs, I decided not to tell Ryan that the homeless man outside our building was his father. He didn’t need that in his life. He also definitely didn’t need to hear it from me.

**

              When I opened the door, I found Ryan sitting there at the dining room table drinking a beer.  I was surprised to find him drinking again. Ryan never drank this much before. Then again, neither did I. I ignored him, walking into the bedroom to collect my things. I’d be thorough this time; this was the last time I ever wanted to come back to this apartment. Everything needed to be out. I found random things, here and there, and collected them, throwing them into a backpack.

             
“So, you’re packing up, huh?” Ryan asked me from the doorway, bottle in hand.

             
“Yeah, I’m leaving. I have someone already working on getting me out of this lease.” I tossed a few more items into my bag.

             
“So, I’ll be stuck paying for everything?” he snapped.

             
“You can easily slip out of your lease. You aren’t working anymore.”
My head pounded from my hangover and lack of caffeine. I walked into the kitchen to brew a cup of coffee. I inhaled the aroma deeply hoping it would help waken me up from my morning fogginess. As it percolated, Ryan walked over. I tried to ignore him, focusing on what I was doing. He pressed himself against me though, his hands holding on to the sides of the counter, keeping me there.

             
“Why are you leaving? You know this isn’t over between us yet,” he murmured in my ear while pressing himself hard into my rear, shoving my body against the counter. Panic rose as I became uncomfortable with what he was doing.

             
“Ryan,” I said in a clear voice. “I don’t know how many other ways to say this. We are so over. I’m with Brian now.”

             
“Ah, so he was finally able to win you over with daddy’s money,” he said, his words filled with venom.

             
“I don’t care about the money, Ryan, I never did,” I replied to him, still struggling against him in vain.

             
“Oh, no?” he snorted. “You would have never even considered marrying me if I hadn’t handed you a Tiffany’s box. I was never enough for you, never good enough.” He grabbed a handful of my hair yanking it as he shoved himself into me hard.

What do I do?
  I remembered Jack’s self-defense class, though, and remembered the steps. First, I needed to try and diffuse the situation.

             
“Ryan you don’t want to do this,” I told him. “This isn’t who you are.”

             
“Who I am is irrelevant. I want my Annie back. I want to feel how I always felt when I was with her,” he said as his hand moved to the front of my blouse. He slipped his fingers in between my shirt and skin, and dragging his hand down, popped all of the buttons of my shirt. I heard the clinking noise as some bounced across the floor to their final destinations. His overly warm fingertips now moved up the skin he exposed. I inhaled sharply through my nose as my body shook violently. I felt paralyzed with fear. My blood froze in my veins turning to ice from my neck down to my toes.