Winter In August (25 page)
Authors: Mia Villano
“Gabby, I don’t know what to say. I missed you. I wanted to see you. I couldn’t face you.”
We sat silently in our thoughts. I began to feel the outcome of two double whiskeys.
“Now you can face me when Dad has died?” I threw everything at her to get her stirred up.
“No, I’ve wanted to see you for years now.” My mom looked at her phone when a text message came through.
“You’ve wanted to see me? What the hell stopped you? Do you know Dad waited for years for you to come back to us? He recently found a woman he could love and try to move on.”
Dani set her phone down after she typed a short message to whoever was texting her and looked at me.
“He had to know I wasn’t going to come home. I told him over and over I wasn’t going to come back to him. I mean, I sent him divorce papers. If I never met Annie, I would’ve left, eventually.
“You don’t walk away from life when life isn’t what you want. You had a child.” I started to tell her what I had wanted to say for years and I was on a roll. One more whiskey and things could get nasty.
“Gabby, whatever I say is not going to be right. I made a mistake leaving you. I know this now. If I could do it over, I would. I would have taken you with me. If you can’t get past my wrong choices, I don’t know what to say. Am I going to live the rest of my life feeling guilty? I can’t do that. All I can say is I’m sorry.”
“Can you tell me one thing? When I never heard from you on my birthday or holidays, did you think about me? Did I cross your mind on those days? How was Mother’s Day for you, because that day was hell for me.”
She began to text again as she spoke to me “Gabby, I thought about you all the time. Yes, on your birthday I would think of you all day.” She didn’t look at me, which told me she was once again lying.
The waiter brought us our main course and it broke the tension for a while, but the meal was anything but relaxing. She did nothing but move food around her plate and I choked down what I could and couldn’t wait to get out of there. My mother was preoccupied with text messages and basically in her own world. The whiskey was taking the edge off and giving me the courage to be vocal.
“You know you could put the phone away since I haven’t seen you in oh, I don’t know, nineteen years. Is the text so important you can’t wait?” I held her gaze.
“It’s my husband. He’s having trouble with our daughter.” My stomach clenched. Daughter? What the fuck?
I couldn’t even answer her and I couldn’t look away. I couldn’t swallow the food in my mouth. I put my fork down. She had a daughter and I had a sister. I was about to pass out. Could my life be any more messed up?
I narrowed my eyes at her and tried with all my might to speak. “You had a child?” She swallowed and looked away. She gave birth to another person and still she didn’t want me.
“Ten years ago I married Rodger and yes, I became pregnant. You have a sister, Ella. Do you want to see a picture of her? She looks like you.” My heart was ripped from my chest with those words. How could she do this? Did this little girl even know I existed?
“Do you have pictures of me in there? Do you show people your other daughter when you’re out? Does Ella know who I am?” I looked her dead in the face and didn’t blink. I had to get out of there. I had to close this chapter in my life and move on before I went insane. I sensed I would have a nervous breakdown before I left. I lost a mother, a father, and a boyfriend. I gained a sister I never knew about. No, this had to stop now. I had to say enough was enough. I stood up wobbly on my heels and threw my napkin on the table. I held back my tears as best I could. I always thought without her I wouldn’t make it, that my life would not be complete. What she did to me caused a cold winter in my soul for so long. The heartache she caused left me bare and numb. It was time for my spring and it was time to let her go.
“Listen, Dani. This reunion was beyond words, I’m glad you have closure if that’s what you were looking for today. Consider me not part of your life. I’m sure you won’t lose any sleep over me exiting your life for good. Please, don’t run out on this little girl like you did to me. You have no remorse of the amount of hurt you’ve caused people. You devastated three people’s lives so far. Now, you have a husband and a new daughter. Please be good to them. If you can do one decent act in your pathetic fake life, don’t hurt any more people.”
My mom was looking around and fake smiling at people watching our drama play out.
“Gabby, stop this melodrama. People are looking at you and I’m uncomfortable with this”
“You know what I’m uncomfortable with? I have been sitting here with you for an hour now. Not once did you ask me about my life? Not once did you ask how dad died? Not once have you asked me if I’m married, do I have children, or how I’m making it through my pathetic life with no parents. You’re heartless and I don’t want any part of you in my life. Put me out of my misery and tell me you feel the same. Then I won’t worry about what’s happening to you or where you are. Can you at least do that for me, so I have closure.” I narrowed my eyes at her. She grabbed the check, threw down a few twenties, and stood up.
“Have a good life, Gabriella.” Her eyes never met mine. She grabbed her purse and walked to the door and out of my life once and for all. Was I upset? I was upset I had a sister I knew nothing about. I was upset my mother was so into her life she didn’t want to be a part of mine. I was free in a way. Free to live my life with no guilt, no remorse, and no what ifs. She was not the woman I remembered. I will hold the memory of my mom and how she used to be in my mind, and that’s the mother I will remember. The mom who waited for me to come home from school loved me and spent time with me. As the memories of my mom, before she left flooded my head, I brushed away a tear.
I walked out of the restaurant ready to call a cab, and I spotted a four-door Porsche parked out front with a gorgeous blonde pilot standing in front of it, uniform and all. He smiled at me with his arms and legs crossed. He was holding a huge bouquet of wildflowers. My pilot and yes, my heart. He wanted me, loved me, and fought for me. He was breathtaking, and he captivated me the first moment I saw him. I wouldn’t fight his love anymore. I walked up to him and couldn’t help but smile. My body instinctively relaxed when I was standing in front of him.
“What are you doing back so soon? I thought your trip would be a while.”
“I finished early.” He pulled me tight against him. I absorbed his unconditional love. I needed his love now more than ever.
“You were in Alaska. How did you know where I would be?” He smiled as our gazes locked onto each other. Those fucking eyes reflected in the sunshine.
“Remember, I’m a businessman and I have connections.”
“Yes, your connections. I’m so glad you’re here.” He kissed me and his kiss shattered me. The tears flowed out of me like they never had before. I was relieved and sad at that the same time. He handed me the flowers. Tears poured down my face and I didn’t care anymore if he saw.
“So, you’re not mad at me anymore?” I looked at him. Mad. How could I be mad? He gave me the best gift anyone could give me. He found my mom and that gave me peace. How could I have been so angry with him? He did because he loved me.
“I’m not mad. Thank you for what you did.”
“Thank you? My God, you have turned a corner. Are you ready to go home now?” He asked as he stared into my eyes.
“I am home, Colt Andrews.” I took in everything about him. The air between us crackled. He lifted my chin so my lips met his. I planted a loving, soft kiss on his mouth. Along with saying goodbye to my past, I was saying hello to my future. For once, I was vulnerable in front of a man and it felt good. I wasn’t’ embarrassed or ashamed to show my feelings. The tears streamed down my face and I didn’t brush them away or hide the fact I was emotional. It was okay. I would be okay. This was what was important now. This was my new life. I said the three words I promised I would never say to another man.
“I love you.”
This book is dedicated to my daughters. My rocks and my heroes. I love you, Hannah and Abbi. You are my inspiration every day to be a better person. Thank you for putting up with me. I would not be writing if it wasn’t for the two of you. Thank you, Chris. One of these is going to lead to your retirement.
To my Beautiful Betas, I couldn’t have done this without you. You know who you are. I appreciate each and every one of you. You gave me the courage to keep writing when I didn’t think I should anymore. Hope you will be with me through my entire career. We made it through a seventh book. There are a couple of you that talked me off the ledge a couple of times. Thank you, Tina, Elizabeth, and Emma. Thanks to Helena for promoting me and all your hard work. Thank you to Love Books and LJ & CB Creative Images and Services.
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