Winter Interlude (14 page)

“Why what?”

“Why don’t you approve and why do you want to know if I think he still loves me
?
F
or your information
,
you agreed to the rules, so you need to reply honestly.”

“That’s two questions.”

“Okay, answer the second one
.
Why do you want to know?”

Paul was silent for a moment
, t
hen shrugged
.
“Okay, since you want the truth, here goes
.
I’m just curious how you could think he loves you when he can’t commit.”

The same question had been going through her mind too often lately
.
The brutal veracity of his words suddenly struck her with full force
.
How much longer could she wait
?

She answered, even though it wasn’t her turn, as honestly as she could
.
“He loves me
.
He says he’s not ready for commitment
.
I can’t shut off how I feel, so I have no choice but to wait till he is
.”
Having said too much and not wanting to think about her relationship with James, she quickly changed gears
.
“But since I’m still asking the questions, and we’re being honest
, a
nswer me this
.
What about you and Judith?”

“What about us?” he queried, moving his attention back to the road.

“Do you think she loves you?”

“Yes.”

“But you guys have been together almost as long as James and I, so what’s the difference
?”

“None
.
I guess
.”
He glanced over at her,
and
a sheepish smile
followed
his words
.

Her eyebrows rose.

“Okay, I get it
.
She’s no more ready for commitment than James.”

“Doesn’t it hurt to know she’s not
still
ready
?”
Judith loved Paul just like James loved her
.
Still, it amazed her that he could talk about it so calmly
.

“Yeah, it hurts like hell,” Paul blurted out
.
“But I’m in your boat
.
I’ve always loved her, from the first moment I saw her when I was ten years old
.
I can’t just turn it off either.”

With
his outburst, the game came to a natural end
.
Neither spoke
.
They’d divulged personal information to each other, and
Kate
surmised he was just as uneasy with those revelations as she
.
It was like each had been talking to a stranger and could be more honest because he or she would never see that person again
.
Only this wasn’t the case.

When they were close to the turnoff, Paul glanced her way
.
“Are you hungry?”

“No, I had a big lunch,”
Kate
said distractedly, keeping her gaze on the pine trees.

“We’re making pretty good time,” he said
.
“We should be in Tahoe City in less than an hour
.”
He added, in an obvious attempt at keeping the conversation alive, “You know they’re predicting snow for tomorrow and the skiing should be great.”

“I know
.
I can’t wait,” she answered, only too happy to reciprocate, glad to have something in common to talk about that didn’t focus on either her or James
.
“Saturday should be an awesome day too
—
except for the lines
.
But if we get up early and get to the slopes right at opening
time,
we can get a few good runs on fresh powder before the masses invade.”

“Hey, I’m all for fresh tracks down the mountain,” he agreed
.
“I’ll be ready
.
So will James, but somehow I doubt
Judith’ll
will make it now
.
Especially since she’s not much of a skier,” Paul said
.
“Even though she said it was important to you, I’m surprised she agreed to it, considering she was so clear about us just being friends.”

“Yeah,”
Kate
spoke up
.
“I’m beginning to wish I’d never planned anything.”

“Why
?”
Curiosity filled his eyes.

With nothing to lose, she decided to answer honestly
.
T
his was Paul
,
she reminded herself,
who thought she was the lowest form on earth
,
so what difference would it make if he knew
?
“I was hoping a weekend away with James would help
.
But I can’t help thinking, if he’s not ready to commit after so many years, I’m only delaying the inevitable
.”
She smiled, then
added, “
W
ho knows, maybe he’ll see the light this weekend!”

At Paul’s raised eyebrows, she laughed
.
“You never know
.
Let’s talk about something else
.
I’m tired of obsessing over Jame
s’
lack of commitment.”

“You’re right,” Paul agreed, shrugging
.
“Dwelling on my relationship won’t change things.”

For the last leg of the journey, they talked about their jobs and how much energy both put into them
.
Kate
found they had common ground, which led to other areas
.
Soon both were laughing and joking about how compulsive each was
.
He
ran several times a week to stay in shape
and she
took
Zumba
classes
for the same reasons.
They both realized they liked finding good restaurants, but Paul preferred Italian to her Chinese obsession.

By the time they veered off the winding main road and slowed as they neared the house, the two had come to a truce of sorts
.

Kate
glanced at him after he’d stopped the car
and
turned off the motor in the driveway
. While he appeared to mull over his thoughts, she was
stunned at how comfortable
it
felt
to sit
next to him
.

“Look,” he said a moment later
.
“I know we may never be BFFs, but can we at least agree to get along while we’re here together?”

“I can manage it, if you can
.”
His
suggestion
warmed her insides
.
More than
it
should have.

“Good, because I hate being alone
.
What do you say to going out to dinner tonight, since we’re both here and single?”

“Okay.” And because he had taken the first step, she offered, “I guess we can ski together
,
too, since you’ll be giving me a ride tomorrow
.”
Suddenly not sure, she searched his face to see his reaction. “You are going to
,
aren’t you?”

“Yeah, I figured that was included in the deal when Judith recruited me
.
You want to shake on it?” Paul said at the same time he stuck out his right hand.

“Sure
.”
When her hand disappeared inside his bigger one, warmth immediately engulfed her fingers, spreading all the way to her core
.
She ignored the tug of attraction she felt after spying his smile, a smile that reached those crinkling baby blues
.
Not wanting to dwell on the way his touch or his affable, teasing
smile
affected her in a dangerous way, she gave her head a slight, sobering shake
.
She was in love with James, and had no business finding his brother attractive
.
“Also, after skiing can you drop me off at the store to stock up on food?”

“Why don’t we do that tonight after dinner?”

“Sounds like a plan
.”
Despite her mind’s warning, she gave in
to the impulse and flashed her own smile, mirroring him
.
His grin, aimed exclusively at her, was too engaging to ignore for long
.
“We should easily survive the next twenty-four hours without killing each other.”

~

G
runting, Paul got out of the car, then ran around and
held her door open
while she
got
out
.
He then turned to the task of unloading, with his thoughts on
Kate
and why all of a sudden he found her attractive
.
He couldn’t erase the image of her just after they shook on their agreement
.
Nor could he ignore the result of her touch
.
He’d definitely felt a jolt, which had knotted his insides
.
W
hen she smiled, her entire face lit up, reminding him of a burst of sunshine peeking out from behind a cloud on a rainy day
.

Damn, now he was thinking like some kind of lovesick poet, he thought
,
as
Kate
came up to stand beside him
.
He handed her the keys
.
“Why don’t you go unlock the door and hit the light switches
?”