Winter Storm (14 page)

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Authors: Barbara Winkes

Tags: #Eternal Press, #winter, #Relationship, #Barbara Winkes, #GLBT, #Contemporary, #Romance, #women, #Coming out, #Autumn Leaves, #Lesbian, #Lesbian Romance, #womens fiction

BOOK: Winter Storm
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“I wish you all the best, Father. We will miss you.”

“Thanks, Rebecca. Best wishes to you and your family.”

They shook hands and then she went back to join her family. Rebecca found herself smiling, if a little wistful. The father was right: Change wasn’t always bad. Sometimes, you gained more than you lost.

When they came home, there was light in the house across the street, the Waterses doing some renovation work. Callie wordlessly slid her hand into Rebecca’s. Maggie and Dina were talking to each other, unaware.

* * * *

Callie had offered. Susan had offered, too, with hesitation, wary about Rebecca’s reaction. The truth was, Rebecca couldn’t afford a cop-out where one of her children was concerned. As much as the idea of Dina seeing a gynecologist was an uncomfortable reminder that she was, indeed, growing up, Rebecca wanted to be there for her. Fortunately, Callie had already paved the way. All that was left to do was make an appointment, out of town, because their family had been talked about enough in Autumn Leaves.

Dina had asked them to wait outside. They would pick up Maggie and have dinner in town later. Rebecca shook her head to herself when she sat back in the passenger’s seat.

“Should I feel like a bad mother for encouraging her?” she asked, her question meant to be rhetorical, but Callie answered it anyway.

“Of course not. It’s not just about sex, you know? The more she knows, the more she can make her own choices. It’s about her being happy and healthy. Of course, only a bad mother would want that.”

Rebecca smiled unwittingly. “Thanks. I guess.”

“She’ll be fine. You both will be. You wouldn’t want to put her at risk with that abstinence-only delusion I grew up with.” Callie’s tone was light, but Rebecca was somewhat troubled by the use of the word risk.

“We never talked about—”

“Nothing bad happened to me,” Callie said quickly. “I just meant in general. The school couldn’t be bothered—my mom was pretty cool, but just as uncomfortable with the subject as any parent.”

“Okay,” Rebecca acknowledged, not sure whether that was enough of an answer. She’d let it go for now. “My parents never talked about these things either. I guess I have a little more sympathy for them now.”

“Yeah, it’s a tough job to be a parent.” Callie smiled to herself. “My mom told me she’d support me no matter what and that I could love who I wanted to. That’s great, just a little vague on the specifics when you’re a clueless and curious teenager.” She turned to Rebecca when there was no answer. “Are you okay?”

“I’m trying to be. This is all just reminding me how clueless I’ve been for most of my life. When you’re that young, it’s even more terrifying. I just want to protect her.”

“I know.” Callie laid a hand on her arm, the touch warm and reassuring. “Believe me, you’re doing a great job.”

Rebecca gave her a grateful smile, but she couldn’t help thinking that her parenting skills would be judged less friendly by others, including herself. She doubted herself more often these days.

Dina was thoughtful, but in good spirits when she returned.

“You can all take a deep breath now. Everything’s fine. No, I’m not getting a prescription. Yet.” She put in her earphones and turned up the volume of her iPod.

“Dina!” While Rebecca was glad the visit seemed to have passed uneventfully, she couldn’t help thinking that this might be too easy.

“Mom.” Dina made a face. “It’s nice that you came, but the next time I know how it works. If I should need a prescription for the Pill, I don’t even have to tell you.”

“Is that what she said?” Rebecca asked in disbelief.

“Yes, but I looked it up on the internet first. It’s state law, Mom.”

Callie smiled at that, but she made an effort to keep a straight face when Rebecca glared at her. Dina went back to her music until Maggie climbed into the backseat next to her.

An hour later or so, when all of them had given their orders at the restaurant, it was the first time today that she could truly relax. Rebecca felt exhausted, wondering if she was going to make it through the meal without falling asleep. She excused herself to go to the restroom and splash some cold water on her face. Skeptically, she studied her reflection in the mirror. No doubt, she looked tired.

The challenges never ended, but then again, had it ever been different? She’d made it through all of them. She had smart and capable children and a partner by her side, who was in it for the long haul.
I could have done worse
. Rebecca smiled at herself and turned to go back to the guest room. At the bottom of the stairs, she nearly ran into someone, excusing herself and regretting it when she realized who it was.

“Craig,” she muttered.

“Hey there,” David’s brother said. He looked her up and down appraisingly. “I hear you’re selling. Good luck with your pretend family.” He hadn’t yet called her a home-wrecking whore, not to her face, in any case. The sentiment was very much implied. Come to think of it, he had called her names before. Rebecca shook her head.

“A nice evening to you too.”

They had harbored a mutual dislike for a few years now, hard to say where it had started. Probably, Rebecca reflected, when he’d made a pass at her on his parents’ wedding anniversary. The fact that he, when he’d still been the sheriff of Autumn Leaves, had failed to apprehend two young men who had terrorized her family, hadn’t helped.

“You’re a cold-blooded bitch, Rebecca. For sure, Dave is better off without you.”

Rebecca turned to walk away, unwilling to deal with his hateful words. What little sympathy she had for him after Maria’s death was nearly gone. There was grief, and then there was being intentionally mean.

“You look like you’ve seen a ghost,” Callie remarked in a whisper when she came back to the table. “Everything okay?”

Rebecca straightened her shoulders. “Yeah.” She took a deep breath. Callie took her hand under the table, but Dina had noticed it anyway. She smiled indulgently then turned back to listen to Maggie.
You’re wrong,
Rebecca thought.
This is my family. There’s nothing “pretend” about it.

* * * *

She drove by the church again after dropping Maggie off at school at the end of the next week. She wanted to introduce herself to the new minister and if possible, check at the same time if she still had a contract. In the entrance, she nearly collided with someone familiar. The day she had held her spontaneous speech had originally been intended to introduce services for troubled teenagers, to which she had contributed with her website.

It had made her so angry and sad that some parents would take gossip over protecting their own children from the bullying she’d known to be going on that she just couldn’t keep quiet. One thing had led to another.

Mark Graham was a psychologist who was employed by the church, and had talked about his work on that day. He had appeared calm and unshakable to Rebecca, the very cliché of his profession. He looked upset now.

“Good morning, Doctor Graham.”

“Mrs. Lowman, I’m sorry. I don’t usually make it a habit nearly hitting people in the face with doors.”

“It’s okay. I’m all right. I take it it’s not a good moment to go see the new minister?”

He shook his head. “What the hell was Father Langdon thinking? I’m not going to stand for this.”

“Well,” Rebecca said carefully, already feeling a tight knot in her stomach. This might not bode well for her. “First, I don’t think Father Langdon decides who the church sends. He just said something about somebody younger.”

“That’s not going to be the only change,” Graham said darkly. “You might want to reconsider if you still want to work for this church. I certainly won’t, but see for yourself.”

“What exactly did he say?”

“Let’s just say, having an open mind isn’t always a matter of age, and we were very lucky with Father Langdon. I’m afraid that luck has run out. Be careful, Mrs. Lowman.”

“Okay. Thanks.”

Rebecca walked into the building that had been familiar to her for a long time with apprehension. Father Langdon had baptized both Dina and Maggie. With very few exceptions, she’d gone to service every Sunday. Maybe she was letting herself be influenced too much by what she’d just witnessed, but she imagined she could already feel the changes. Father Langdon had been a kind man. She hoped his successor would be too.

“Hi Paula,” she greeted the secretary. At least the new minister had kept her. Paula’s son was in Maggie’s book club, so they’d known each other even before Rebecca had started working on the church’s online presence.

“I was just wondering if I could have a word with—”

“Paula, I told you, no appointments this…” The man was in his mid-thirties, good-looking. When he turned to Rebecca, his tone immediately softened. Smiling, he extended his hand.

“I am Father Reynolds—and you are Mrs. Lowman, I believe? Thank you for coming by. I’ve been meaning to call you, but as you can see…” He shrugged. “Transitions always make for very busy times. Why don’t we go in my office? Would you like a coffee?”

“No, thank you,” Rebecca said, trying to understand what was going on. She hadn’t known she was that notorious in Autumn Leaves. He’d been here for how long, a couple of weeks at the most? “I won’t take much of your time. I was just wondering about something. I was in the middle of a contract with Father Langdon for the church’s website. I’ve been meaning to ask you if you wish to continue.”

The minister sat behind his desk that was already cluttered with piles of paper. The sight of the chaos made Rebecca cringe. He didn’t notice.

“Oh yes, that site. I believe most of the work on it is done anyway?”

“There are regular updates,” she said, trying hard not to sound defensive.

“Yes, actually…” He leafed through some letters to produce a note pad. “It’s very modern. I worked with a different, statewide firm before. I hope you understand that I need to review your work closely before I can make a decision. You get a monthly payment?”

Please, God.
Maybe it was a little over-the-top to ask for any favors regarding her part-time work, but Rebecca already felt threatened. It wasn’t like the church paid her a lot of money, but in Autumn Leaves, this contract could lead to others. At least that’s what she had hoped.

“I’d confirm with Father Langdon what he wanted me to do, and then send him an invoice once it was finished. The updates were paid monthly.”

“I see.” He looked at her thoughtfully. “Mrs. Lowman, I brought a few ideas for new services we could offer. Why don’t you work on that and the updates until the end of, let’s say March, and I promise I’ll have a decision for you by then?”

“That would be good.” Rebecca breathed a sigh of relief. As for the moment, she was still employed. She still wondered what had Graham so upset.

“Wonderful.” Father Reynolds tore the page off the note pad and handed it to Rebecca. “Some of those services are out of town, but of course Autumn Leaves can’t do everything. When the results speak for themselves, I think it’s worth it.”

“True. I’ll be sure to look those up and redo the link page.”

The minister gave a wide smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Now, finally something that was quick and effective. Thank you so much, Mrs. Lowman.”

“You’re welcome.”

As Rebecca left his office, she still wasn’t sure she hadn’t missed something in the conversation. Mark Graham was a considerate man who just didn’t lose his composure at the drop of a hat. She could have sworn she saw Paula roll her eyes at her boss earlier. Rebecca didn’t really want to spend time trying to solve another mystery when her own life was complicated enough.

* * * *

Church had a different meaning to most people in Autumn Leaves than it had for Callie all her life. It sure had a different meaning for Rebecca, and that was why Callie had refrained from scoffing too much about people she found hard to understand. She didn’t mind those who believed in a benevolent Higher Being. Most of the time, Callie did so herself, but she didn’t think any human could claim to speak for them. However, she knew that the church contract was very important to Rebecca in a private and business sense, so she shared her excitement about the temporary prolonging.

“How about I let you work on it a little and we go out for dinner later?” she suggested.

“Don’t you have to work?”

With a shudder, Callie thought of all the notes she’d taken that hadn’t led her anywhere near a new story yet. “I guess. Unless you need help with anything…You know how I love to put off the beginning.”

Rebecca looked at the handwritten note on her keyboard, frowning.

“I don’t know. Normally I’d just look up those links and add them to the site, but maybe I should redo it completely. I’ve already been threatened between the lines that I could be replaced soon.”

“Come on. I’m sure he’d like to work with someone who’s local, therefore available, and extremely talented,” she added after a prompting look from Rebecca. “So what’s all this?” Callie picked up the list, her jaw dropping when she read it. “This is a joke, right?”

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