With Me (14 page)

Pulling into my driveway and taking a sleeping Josephina out of my car, I head inside and tuck her into bed. While I’m giving her a kiss I hear the phone ringing, growing irritated as I did earlier. I grab for the phone and quickly remove myself from the bedroom area to the farthest end of the building. I don’t want to risk waking Josephina up when I speak to Joseph.

“She’s already asleep,” I snap at him in frustration as I answer the phone, not bothering with a simple "Hello" when I answered.

“I’m sorry, I forgot about the time difference. I’ll remember for next time,” he casually says as my anger builds up inside of me.

I can hear the tiredness and exhaustion in his voice when he tells me, but it doesn’t stop me from snapping back at him. “Fine, I’ll tell her you called,” I clip out, ready to end the call. I’m unable to when I can hear him quickly pleading, “Please, Kasey, don’t hang up on me. I really am sorry.” The desperation in his voice making me pause and feel guilty for snapping at him.

My mind is torn between staying mad at him and wanting to hear his explanation. Needing to know why he’s barely calling, sighing I tell him, “Joseph, you haven’t called all weekend and she’s been waiting to speak to you the entire time. You can’t do that to her. I won’t allow you to hurt her like that.”

I hear him heavily sigh on the other end of the phone. “I’m really sorry about not calling Josephina. She’s all I kept thinking about all weekend, I swear,” he states, sounding frustrated. “I went to Vegas to see Elizabeth, so I could finally tell her about Josephina. She didn’t take it too well at first, but I think I got her to come around,” he declares.

Although he’s stated it, I can tell by the tone in his voice he’s not telling the truth, but I’m not going to argue with him now. I don’t have the energy to do so. I already knew she wasn’t going to take the news well at first, so it didn’t surprise me he was masking her reaction.

He tries to further explain, “She took advantage of me being there to help her make some last minute decisions for the wedding. I was busy pretty much from the moment I got there until the moment I left. I just got back a little while ago. I tried calling you, but you didn’t answer and I started to get worried.”

Remembering how worried Josephina and I were about him not answering
our
phone call, only makes me feel remorseful for not answering his the first time. “I’m sorry for not answering. I was driving. I really hope your fiancée will come around,” I say to him, not knowing what else to say.

As if sensing how uncomfortable I feel about the conversation, he quickly changes the subject by asking what we did over the weekend. Giving him a quick recap, we easily fall into a conversation as I begin to tell him about an upcoming delivery I need to make. Shortly after, we are ending the phone call as we say our goodbyes.

I lay down in bed that night with Josephina, repeating Joseph’s words in my mind. His fiancée’s response keeps me awake for several hours as they repeat themselves in my thoughts. Although Joseph states he’s going to be a part of Josephina’s life, it still worries me whether he’ll keep his promise. How can I
really
know he’ll stay true to his word once he’s married? He will start a family with her, making it easy for him to forget about Josephina. He’s only just met her; both still strangers to one another. He can claim that he’ll continue to be part of her life, but with Elizabeth at his side, with a new family they make together, his promises can easily be forgotten.

As much as it had warmed my heart to see both of them together, I know it can easily go back to being how it used to be, Josephina without a father around again in her life. The only thing I can do if it happens will be to reassure Josephina that no matter the outcome, we were going to be fine, just like before Joseph came back into our lives.

“MOMMY, WHERE IS Mrs. Thompson?” Josephina impatiently asks as she stares out the window she’s been looking out of for the last twenty minutes.

Placing the lid on the last box needed to go into my SUV, I take another glance at the clock looking at the time. If Mrs. Thompson doesn’t get here in the next ten minutes, I’m going to be late. She was supposed to be here fifteen minutes ago. I try calling her again but the phone call goes straight to voicemail. Same as it did earlier.

I’m starting to grow worried. I really don’t have any room for Josephina to come with me. With all the boxes that are in the SUV, she doesn’t fit. I had to take her booster seat out of my car so I can load this last box. There is
no way
she is going to fit.

This is the one shipment I make every month without hesitation because of the recipient. It was for Mrs. Berry, the lady who originally showed me how to make soaps to begin with. Due to her arthritis, she stopped making the soaps two years ago, leaving the task up to me. In return for her selling my soaps, I give her fifty percent of the income, which helps provide for her family as well. It’s why I couldn’t afford to take fewer products with me. If I did, it would affect us both.

I’m surprised Mrs. Thompson isn’t here yet. I’ve always made this delivery around the same time every month; she knows being that she always watches Josephina for me. She’d even confirmed with me over the weekend about today.

Sighing, I begin to look through my contact list in hopes I can find someone else to stay with Josephina, but I quickly come up short from the list of people I usually use. They can only watch her at night or on the weekends if they have advance notice.

I’m about to give up when I come across Ashley’s name. I consider the possibility of calling her. Joseph had made me put both hers and Mark's cell numbers, along with their house number, in my phone before he left. Just in case of an emergency.

Although this wasn’t an emergency, it was close to it for me. Looking back at Josephina, still staring out of the window, I think really hard before I make the decision to call her. Taking another deep breath, I press on her number and pray that she’ll answer.

As I listen to the ringing coming into my ear, I’m nervously biting my lip. “Hello,” a confused Ashley answers.

Realizing she probably doesn’t recognize the number, I say, “Hello Ashley, it’s Kasey.”

“Oh, Kasey. How are you?”

“I’m good, thank you. I’m really sorry to be calling you so suddenly, but I was hoping I can ask you for a really huge favor,” I hesitantly ask, waiting for her response.

“Of course. What can I do for you?”

Feeling like the worst person in the world for even asking, I say, “I was hoping you’d be able to watch Josephina for me today, only for the next four or five hours. I have a really huge shipment I have to deliver to the next town over and I don’t have any room to take Josephina with me.”

I go on, further explaining. “The lady who usually watches her hasn’t arrived and I’m already running late. I wouldn’t normally ask, but I can’t afford not to make this shipment. I’m sorry to have to call you last minute like this, Ashley, but I really don’t have anyone else who would watch her right now,” I desperately add.

“I’m about to head home from the grocery store. It’s around the corner from your place. I can swing by to pick Josephina up on the way if you’d like?”

I let out the breath that I was cautiously holding while waiting for her answer. “Thank you, Ashley. Thank you so much.”

She chuckles, telling me not to worry and within ten minutes she’s at my front door. Quickly loading Josephina’s booster seat into her car, I give Josephina one last kiss before I watch them drive away. I just as quickly jump into my car and drive away myself.

It usually takes me an hour drive to get there and an hour back, but I always give myself two extra hours because I like to spend time visiting with Mrs. Berry.

The dreadful thing about the drive is I have to take a narrow two-lane highway the entire way, in both directions. Most of the time it’s a boring drive, the Amish community prefers to be in their own secluded area of the state, keeping to themselves.

Arriving and quickly unloading everything from my SUV, I have my usual coffee with Mrs. Berry as we catch up. She always likes to know how Josephina is doing and of course this visit is more emotional when I tell her about Joseph.

The entire time I lived in the community, I was always questioned about where the father of my child was, but not knowing the exact answer, I always refused to answer. It only made the community isolate me even more. Mrs. Berry was the only person who stood by my side, never once judging me for it, even when my own aunt did so. Because of that reason alone, I was determined to help Mrs. Berry with an income. Without her, I wouldn’t have the gift to give back.

Knowing that I needed to get back to Josephina, I say by usual goodbyes, promising to see her next month. I finally get back into my car and pull out of town to head home.

I’m almost back into Madison when a song I despise at the moment comes on the radio. Scrunching my nose at the melody, wanting to change it, I take one last glance at the road ahead of me and I see it’s still empty and safe to change the station. I look down at the radio to change the station and I quickly glance back up to see a huge truck pull out from a side road without stopping at the intersection. I jerk my car to the side to avoid hitting him, but I lose control of my car, swerving into the opposite lane. My heart stops. The fear of not knowing what to do takes over and I scream in fright. I feel my car hit something head on, the air bag deploying into my face, instantly sending a jolt of pain throughout my body. I can only sit there and let it take over, and immediately I’m dragged into darkness.

I’M FINALLY GETTING off of work.
TGIF!
The end of the day felt like it would never come. I’m exhausted from having to deal with the bullshit of the week. On top of that, I told Elizabeth I would go back to Vegas this weekend to do some fucking tasting for the wedding. I don’t know why she needed me there for that. My only requirement for the wedding was I get a steak that night, everything else I didn’t care two cents about. The wedding was technically all for her anyway. If it were up to me, we would’ve been married the night I asked her. We were already in Vegas when I proposed. I didn’t see anything wrong with going to the local chapel and getting it done, but she refused, saying that she wanted the fairytale wedding every girl dreams about.

Right now, I just want to get home and get something to eat. Plus, I wanted to speak with Josephina and Kasey really quick before I left. I’ve been looking forward to it all day. There’s nothing I wanted more than to see their faces, even if it’s on a screen.

I’m climbing into my truck when I hear my phone ring and I’m already dreading seeing who it might be. In my head I’m thinking it’s Elizabeth, asking if I’ve already left. All week she insisted I leave work early so I could get to Vegas sooner, but I couldn’t manage it. There was too much going at work, which made it impossible, but it also made for an angry Elizabeth. Another reason why I was dreading going this weekend. I knew I would have to hear her non-stop complaining about it. I look down at my phone and see that it’s not Elizabeth, but Mark’s house number instead.