With Strings Attached (33 page)

Silence expanded in the small room. She peeked at him from beneath her eyelashes, still twisting her fingers together. He hadn’t moved, his face looking like it was carved from stone.

“Why, Corey?” he finally asked in a very quiet voice.

That was the part she couldn’t tell him. How could she admit she’d fallen in love with him? How pathetic was that? And she hadn’t had time to prepare her story. She didn’t know what to say.

“Because…because…” Her throat clogged up and a feeling of pressure rose behind her face.

“Corey.” He sat forward. She risked another look at his face. Oh, God, he looked so sad and terrified. What…? “If you have feelings for Dylan and that’s why you don’t want to…see me any more…just tell me. If that’s what happened…if you fell in love with him…it’s okay.” His voice rasped a bit and she blinked at him. “I’ll step aside and get out of your way so you two can be together.”

Chapter Twenty-Two

He would do it. If that’s what she wanted, he would do it, so she could be happy. It would kill him, but he would do it. His insides tied up in more knots than a Boy Scout troop meeting, he waited for her response. Even if she didn’t love Dylan, it didn’t mean she loved
him
. And if she wanted to be “just friends”—Christ, he wasn’t sure if he could handle having that knife stabbed into his heart. Every other time he’d heard those words, yeah it had bugged him, maybe a time or two it had even hurt. But if Corey said that to him, fuck, it was gonna
kill
him. His heart slammed against his ribs as he waited, watching her face, her eyebrows slanted down above her eyes, her bottom lip quivering, her eyes all shiny like she was going to cry. Fuck, his own eyes stung a bit in the corners.

He watched her twist her fingers together, watched her catch her bottom lip between her teeth, watched her take a long shaky breath. His own breathing seemed to have stopped. Finally she spoke.

“No,” she croaked. “That’s not it. I’m not in love with Dylan.”

Her words echoed in his head. She wasn’t in love with Dylan. She wasn’t in love with Dylan. After a short, charged pause, he said, “Really?”

She gave a jerky nod. “Really.”

His breath came in choppy spurts, his heart bumping around in his chest. “Thank Christ,” he said with such heartfelt feeling her head jerked up to look at him. “Okay.” He let out a long breath. “If that’s not it, then tell me why you’re breaking things off between us.”

Again he waited, and again a long fraught silence filled the room. She bent her head, her wavy, silky hair falling forward. “I can’t tell you,” she whispered.

Hope flared inside him, a tiny flame of warmth. Maybe he was crazy, maybe this was gonna end badly with him getting sucker punched but…he had to do this. He had to go for it. Neve’s voice rang in his head—”
Fight for her.”
Okay. This was him—baring his soul, stripping naked, risking it all.

“Corey.” He shifted toward her. “Look at me.”

Her head lifted. The light gleamed on the wetness beneath her eyes, her pouty quivering bottom lip, the dimple in her chin that appeared when she tried not to cry.

“Corey. I love you.”

She stared back at him wordlessly. He swallowed, his words blocked by a burning knot in his throat. “I fell in love with you,” he continued, voice hoarse. “I don’t know exactly when it happened, or how, or why. I just know I love you. So damn much.”

Tears spilled over her cheeks, and she stared back at him. “You love me?” she repeated. He nodded, wanting to pull her into his arms, onto his lap, to dry her tears and kiss her wet face, but he waited, sweat building on his forehead.

“Oh, Matt.” She brushed her fingers beneath her eyes. “I love you too.”

Afraid to breathe, afraid to move, he sat there, watching her.

“I love you as a friend,” she continued.

He froze.

That painful splintering feeling in his chest must be his heart, cracking wide open and shattering. A rush of white noise filled his ears and his vision went dark as he almost doubled over with the agony of it.

“That’s how it started,” she said. He could hardly hear her over the buzzing in his ears. “But now…oh God.” She paused. “I-I love you too. As
so
much more than a friend.”

He stared at her, tried to blink away the haze that filled his vision. When he saw her tremulous smile, his heart nearly exploded in his chest with frantic pounding, and without even knowing how it happened, she was in his arms, on his lap, their mouths fused in a long, desperate kiss.

“Corey, Corey.” His hands moved over her back, one hand tangled in her hair. He kissed her cheek, her eyelids, each corner of her mouth. “Oh God, Corey. Tell me again.”

“I’m scared, Matt.” Tears still leaked from her eyes. “I’m so scared. I didn’t mean to fall in love with you. I don’t want to need someone that much. That’s why I was trying to end things. I knew we couldn’t go on the way we were with me being in love with you.”

“No. We can’t go on the way we were.” He framed her face with his hands, her beautiful, tear-stained, pink-blotched face, used his thumbs to erase the tears. “This is the real thing, Corey. Not friends with benefits. I love you. I’ve never loved anyone like I love you.”

Her eyes closed, her golden lashes dark with tears fanned on her smooth cheeks. Then she opened them and gazed back at him. “Me too,” she whispered. She curled her fingers around his wrists where he still held her face. “But I’m still scared.”

“What are you afraid of, candy girl?” He searched her face.

“What do you think I’m afraid of? Everyone I’ve ever relied on has let me down. My father. My mother. My foster parents. Most of the guys I’ve dated.”

He frowned. “You loved all those guys?”

“Well. Maybe not
loved
loved. But you know…I cared.”

He rolled his eyes. “They were all losers.”

She choked on a little laugh. “Yeah, but still…if they let me down and it hurt, what’s it going to feel like when
you
let me down?”

“Corey.” His heart turned over in his chest. He kissed her forehead, then her mouth again, leaned his forehead against hers, their noses resting side by side. He breathed in the sweet scent of her, breathed the same air she was. “When have I ever let you down?”

He drew back to look at her, to meet her eyes and hold her gaze. She stared back at him, eyes wide and glossy, lips parted. He watched her mind work, watched the tension ease from her face, watched her eyes soften and then more tears gather and slide over her cheeks in crystal drops. “You haven’t,” she whispered, her hands tightening on his wrists. “You never have.”

“And I never will,” he whispered back. “I promise you.”

Her sob tore at something inside him. He knew how much she’d been through in her life, how hard she’d fought, how much she deserved to have someone love her and look after her and be there for her, and he wanted it to be him. It was going to be him.

“I believe you,” she sobbed. “Oh, Matt, if there was ever anybody I believe, it’s you. You’re the most wonderful man I know, you do so much for people you love, you’ve always been there for me.”

“Yeah, yeah.” He smiled and rubbed his cheek against her hair. “I’m such a nice guy. Please.”

“You are! That’s not a bad thing.” Now she made him look at her, her expression fierce. “Dylan said you were tired of girls telling you that. But that’s just stupid. And anyone who ever said that to you is stupid. You’re an amazing man, Matt. That’s why I fell in love with you.”

He grinned. Maybe it wasn’t so bad being told you were a nice guy, when it came from the person whose opinion meant the most in the world to you. He wanted to be the best guy in Corey’s eyes. And he would be. He would be there for her no matter what.

Emotion expanded in his chest, soft and warm, along with a measure of relief and gratitude. He kissed her mouth again, slower, lingering to touch his tongue to her soft lower lip. “I love you, Corey.”

“I love you too.”

“And now…” He rose and, still holding her hands, and pulled her to her feet. “Now I am going to tie you to the bedposts naked.”

“What?”

He tugged her along behind him as he headed for her bedroom, grinning so wide he was surprised his face didn’t split. In her dark bedroom he turned to face her, holding her hands between them, smiling at her. “I know you like kinky stuff,” he murmured.

Her mouth pursed into a reluctant smile. Sexy. “You know that, huh?”

He stroked her hair back from her face. “We did some crazy things the last few weeks.”

“Yeah.”

“I don’t regret it,” he said. “I think if it hadn’t been for Dylan and what happened…maybe I wouldn’t have been forced to face my feelings for you.”

She nodded, big eyes fastened on his face.

“I loved having sex with you,” he said. “That first time…I know it was kind of an accident…but I loved it.”

“Me too,” she whispered.

“For some reason I held back, though. I don’t know why.”

She blinked wet eyelashes at him.

“When Dylan suggested a threesome…” He closed his eyes briefly. “It was so fucking hot.” He touched her face. “I loved it but I was jealous at the same time. But knowing that you liked it…made me realize I should have been more honest with you about what I wanted.”

“What do you want?”

“I want everything.” He held her gaze steadily. “I like sex, a lot. I want it hot and hard and fast. I want to spank your pretty little ass and tie you up and have you at my mercy.”

Her eyes darkened and her lips parted and his stomach swooped, knowing she liked what he said.

“I also want it slow and sweet and soft,” he continued, sliding his hand around her neck to cup her nape. “But the one thing I don’t want to do again is share you with another guy.”

He asked the question with his eyes, and she nodded, still holding his gaze. She smiled. “I’m fine with that.” She slid her arms around his waist and tipped her head back. He studied her small oval face, pale in the dark room, her sweet freckles and pretty mouth and stubborn little chin, and love for her swelled up inside him like a huge balloon. “I liked the threesome too. And I don’t regret it either. Because I liked seeing you take charge like you did. I liked making you so hot. And, same as you…if it hadn’t been for that, if it hadn’t been for Dylan making us examine our feelings for each other, I don’t know how long it would have taken for us to realize how we felt. But I don’t want to do it again.”

He stepped backwards toward the bed, slowly, pulling her with him. His eyes dropped, for the first time noticing what she was wearing—the fugliest gray T-shirt he’d ever seen over a pair of baggy black sweatpants, rolled down on her hips and up around her calves. “Nice outfit,” he murmured. “Take it off.”

Her slow smile sent heat arrowing straight to his groin. He was already half-hard, but now his dick swelled and twitched. “Christ, you’re sexy,” he muttered, releasing her hands so she could take her clothes off.

Eyes on each other, she slowly drew the shirt up and over her head and holy fuck, she had no bra on, he couldn’t believe he hadn’t noticed that before. Her breasts jiggled enticingly as she shimmied out of the sweatpants, her nipples dark little points. His mouth watered, his body tightened and he ached to put his hands on her.

She stood before him in a tiny pair of pink bikini panties, the purity of her skin glowing in the faint light, all slender limbs and soft curves. Her hair hung around her shoulders in waves, framing her face. “So beautiful,” he whispered, his fingers busy unbuttoning his own shirt. He shrugged out of it and let it drift to the floor, while he took his shorts off. “Take off your panties.”

When they were both naked, he moved to her and their bodies came together, skin to skin, his body craving the feel of her, every inch of her. The shock of the contact made them both gasp, and need for her exploded inside him.

He slid his hands into her hair and fisted it as he kissed her, long, openmouthed, seeking kisses, over and over. His tongue slid inside her mouth, rubbed against her tongue, felt the edge of her teeth, licked her lips. She tasted as sweet as always, as sweet as candy, his candy girl. His hold on her tightened. He wanted her, all of her, the sweetness of her taste on his tongue, the smell of her in his head, the sounds of her soft sighs in his ears. He wanted her all around him, with him inside her. “Taste so good, candy girl,” he whispered against her lips. “Wanna taste you everywhere. God, Corey.”

Emotion rose up inside him, almost choking him. He was crazy about her, overwhelmed by the fact that she loved him too, so relieved, so overjoyed. He opened his mouth wider over hers, kissed her deeper, swallowing the little noises she made in her throat as her hands grabbed onto his shoulders. She pressed against him, thigh to thigh, chest to breasts, belly to belly, like she was trying to crawl inside him.

“So good,” he murmured, dragging his mouth over her cheek. “This feels so good.”

“Mmm.”

He nuzzled her ear, licked just below it, tasting her skin, then sucking on it. Oh yeah. Yeah. This was it. His hands fisted in her hair and tugged her head back and he sucked so gently, then dragged his tongue over her flesh. She shivered against him.

He released one handful of hair to slide his palm over her breast, her pebbled nipple hard, the rest of her so soft. She filled his hand perfectly, a wondrous yielding softness that made his body burn and his insides melt.