With Strings Attached (35 page)

“D’you think…will things be okay between you and Dylan?”

He thought about that. “Christ. I don’t know whether to be pissed off at him for not telling me what really happened, or pissed off at myself for not pushing him more. I knew there was more bugging him than just his foot.” He paused. “If he’s in love with you, he might not want to be friends with me any more.”

“I don’t think he’s really in love with me.” She rubbed his arm. “I think he’s scared and mixed up and alone.”

“Shit.”

“So maybe some day you guys will be okay.”

“I hope so.”

“I hope so too.”

Once again they fell silent for a moment.

“Corey.”

“Now what?”

“Your dad.”

Her smile turned to a pout.

“I’m sorry for butting in yesterday,” he said. His hand kept rubbing in small, soothing circles on her bare back. “We were just talking. He wants to do something for you.”

She pressed her lips together and said nothing.

“You won’t take the money from me. You won’t take the money from him. We care about you, Cor, and we want to help you.”

She opened her mouth. Then closed it. Heard Dylan’s voice saying,
“Maybe you should take your own advice, babe.”
And her telling him
, “Friends help each other. And they let their friends help them.”

That’s what he’d been talking about. She sighed. She’d seen how Dylan had kept part of himself closed off, how he hadn’t wanted to need any help, and how much she’d ached to be able to help him, as a friend.

Maybe she shouldn’t say no so quickly. Didn’t that dismiss Matt’s offer, make it meaningless?

She bit her lip. “I don’t want to take your money.”

“So take his money then.”

“There are always strings attached to an offer like that,” she said slowly. “I don’t want to be indebted to him.”

“He told me there’d be no conditions. He’s not going to make you do anything. It would just be money. It would make him feel like he’d done something, I think. To make up for all the things he never gave you. It would be up to you if you ever wanted more than that.”

“Yeah.” She sighed. Cripes, this was hard. “But he’s not exactly a friend.”

“Think about it. He needs to do something to feel better about himself. Maybe to…atone. Why won’t you let him?”

“Maybe I don’t
want
him to feel better about himself. Maybe I want him to feel like a jerk.” She lifted her chin. “What if he gives me money and then one day tells me he wants it back?”

“He said you could do it all legally. With a contract that sets out everything.” His hand kept rubbing and the tingles kept growing.

“I don’t like strings,” she said stubbornly. “You know that.”

“Corey.”

She met his eyes.

“Just so you know,” he said softly. “Between you and me…now…there
are
strings attached. Before, you wanted just friends with benefits, no strings attached. But now…there are strings attached. Lots of ’em.”

Her insides tightened, but she nodded. “I know. And that still scares me.”

“You’re not the only one who’s scared. I’ve been let down too. The truth is, I need you too, Corey, so damn much. The strings go both ways.” He touched her face. “I don’t know that you’ll never wake up one day and decide you just want to be friends with me.”

She smiled. “Yeah, I don’t think that’s going to happen. We’ve gone way past being friends. I mean, you’re still my best friend.” He kissed her nose. “But I could never be ‘just friends’ with you again, Matt. That’s partly why it’s so scary. If you break my heart, I will hate you forever. There’s no going back to ‘just friends’.”

His eyes filled with warmth as he gazed back at her. “Thank you.”

She laughed. “You know…” She tipped her head. “I think we were kidding ourselves all this time that we were just friends.”

“Yeah. I kinda think so too. Anyway, I’m counting on you too. To be there for me. Does that bother you?”

“No.” She held his gaze steadily. “That’s not what scares me. Because I
am
there for you. Because I love you.”

“Thank you.” They shared a slow intimate smile.

“And I’m going to try to let you be there for me. You always were,” she added hastily. “I just didn’t want you to be. I’m sorry.”

“Let us help you, Corey. People who care about you want to help you. You deserve it.”

“Oh.” Oh hell, her eyes were watering again. She didn’t deserve it. Did she? She nibbled her bottom lip, her insides still knotted up. She remembered her mom saying something similar to her. “But…” She stopped.

“What, honey?”

“What…” She swallowed. “What if he gives me money and then…then expects me to love him? And…” The words came out in a whisper. “What if I do?”

He gathered her close and kissed her hair. “Be brave. Take a risk.”

Tears spilled again. Geez, she’d cried more today than she had in years. This love crap was painful. Wonderful, but painful.

“I’d be with you,” he said. “Whatever happens. Right?”

“Right. But…it’s probably too late anyway. The realtor said someone else wanted to rent the place and I had to decide right away.”

“It’s him.”

“What?” Once again she shifted in his arms to look at his face.

“It’s your dad. He’s the one who’s interested. He’d pay the rent for you, or give you a lump sum. He’d do whatever you want. He didn’t want you to lose out on that property.”

“Seriously?” He’d done that…for her? Her heart squeezed in her chest. Once again, she was afraid to hope. It wasn’t about the money. It was the fear of letting someone care about her, about letting herself care about someone else and then having that person disappear.

Even with her mother, she’d been cautious about rebuilding their relationship. Mom had been healthy and doing well for quite a while, but all Corey did was make short visits, because she knew if she let herself fall into caring, her mom would get sick again. Even though she knew it wasn’t her mom’s fault, that it was an illness, even though she knew it didn’t mean her mother didn’t love her, it was hard to open herself up to being hurt and disappointed and alone again. She wasn’t sure if she’d ever be able to go there with her father. But maybe with Matt there with her, she was brave enough to try.

She gazed at Matt’s face, his handsome, strong face. Love shone in his eyes, that dedication and worship she’d seen earlier when they’d come together, loving each other with everything they had. Yes, there were strings attached to love, but maybe when you loved someone it wasn’t a bad thing. She felt those fears breaking down a little. It might take a while, but she so wanted to believe that she could have that in her life—obligations and caring, the accepting of help and the giving of help, the hope and the disappointments—all the strings that were attached to love.

About the Author

Kelly Jamieson lives in Winnipeg, Canada and is the bestselling author of over twenty romance novels and novellas. Her writing has been described as “emotionally complex”, “sweet and satisfying” and “blisteringly sexy”. If she can stop herself from reading or writing, she loves to cook. She has shelves of cookbooks that she reads at length. She also enjoys gardening in the summer, and in the winter she likes to read gardening magazines and seed catalogues (there might be a theme here...) She also loves shopping, especially for clothes and shoes. She loves hearing from readers, so please visit her website at
www.kellyjamieson.com
or contact her at
[email protected]
.
 

Look for these titles by Kelly Jamieson

Now Available:

Love Me

Friends With Benefits

Love Me More

2 Hot 2 Handle

Lost and Found

One Wicked Night

Rule of Three

Sweet Deal

Hot Ride

Coming Soon:

How to Love

Slammed

Courage is feeling the fear…then pouring on the throttle.

Hot Ride

© 2012 Kelly Jamieson

Abandoned or betrayed by everyone she ever loved, Sera Manning’s life spiraled out of control until a near death experience left her with a mission. Now a DEA agent, her sole focus—and her first undercover assignment—is to take down a drug cartel that’s manufacturing seductive, deadly angel sugar.

To do it, she needs access to Operation Black Abyss to establish a connection between the cartel and the Death Angels outlaw motorcycle gang. Which means she must pose as a couple with another agent who’s already deep undercover.
 

ATF agent Ryan Thomas desperately needs a female agent to maintain his cover in the gang, but the last thing he wants is a rookie agent jeopardizing his op. Especially one that is a sexy reminder why it’s a bad idea to get involved while on a case.

Living together, surrounded by crime, pretending their sizzling sexual tension is just for show is getting harder by the day. But as the mission comes to a head, the two fiercely independent warriors must decide which fear is worse. Losing their quarry…or losing each other.

Warning: Features a badass biker hero and kickass heroine who go at it undercover—and under the covers.

Enjoy the following excerpt for
Hot Ride:

“Nervous?”

Sera shot Ryan a disgusted look. “No.”

They stood beside Ryan’s Harley in the parking lot of the Palms Motel in Clover City, on their way to The Patch for a night of drinking, partying and hopefully recording incriminating conversations. The sun had just set. Palm trees were silhouetted black against the deepening blue of the sky and the streetlights gleamed on the monstrous chromed-up machine next to them. Sera wiped her hands down her thighs.

He laughed. “If you’re not, you’re nuts.”

“Thanks very much.” Sera jammed her helmet onto her head and eyed the spoked wheels, the huge engine, the large, chromed mufflers tunneling underneath black leather saddlebags.

“Got your recorders?”

“Yes.” She’d received a crash course on how to use the surveillance equipment. Josh Witter insisted she had two, just in case. One tiny device was inside her cell phone; the other looked like an extra battery and was in the pocket of her jeans.

Ryan started the engine
–
a whine, a bang and then a rattling, bumpy idle. Sera closed her eyes briefly.

Ryan swung himself onto the bike then looked at her. She pressed her lips together. He arched a brow. “Sera?”

She gave a jerky nod then climbed on behind him, wrapping her arms around his waist. God. He was big and muscular and warm, and as she pressed against him she could even smell the scent of the shampoo he used on his hair, clean and tangy.

Okay, she was a little nervous. The machine underneath them rumbled with power and speed. With a roar of the motor, Ryan pulled out of the parking lot onto Juniper Road. Glancing over her shoulder at the rapidly retreating motel, Sera saw the surveillance car driven by Josh pull out to follow them. It was reassuring to know that wherever they went, at least two other agents were sitting outside keeping an eye on things. But that only went so far, as she well knew.

The tranny shifted into second with a clank and a lurch, making her heart lurch too. Her arms tightened around Ryan. Good god in heaven. The choppy roar of the engine and the wind in her ears drowned out any other sounds as she clutched Ryan’s body and hung on.

She could not let on that she was nervous about riding on the Harley. The lack of control she felt hanging on to nothing but a black leather jacket while so exposed and vulnerable and flying down the street sent spears of panic through her.

On top of that, she was pressuring herself, like she always did. She really wanted to do a good job of this. She
had
to do a good job. She knew she could look after herself, but Ryan’s warnings about putting all their lives on the line had stuck with her, and she worried she could do something to screw up and get a whole lot of other people killed.

No. It wouldn’t happen. She had to think positively.

When they walked into The Patch, Led Zeppelin’s
Houses of the Holy
pounded over the speakers. Ryan took Sera’s hand and led the way. She stuck close to him, not because she needed to, but because it looked good.

Several men greeted Ryan
–
or rather, Tommy, as she needed to think of him
–
with loud calls and raised beers. He led Sera to the bar and put his arm around her waist as they stood there and waited to be served. She tipped her head and smiled up at him and he smiled back.

Jesus. She hadn’t seen many smiles from him since the night they’d met in this exact place. She’d forgotten how sinfully melting-hot that smile could be. Thick, liquid wanting slid through her and down between her legs. She forgot to breathe.