Without Doubt (30 page)

“
I’ll talk to them and
I’ll take care of it. Do you want to go to Vegas?”

“
We’ve already paid a
stupid amount of money on a non-refundable deposit, so we’re
getting married at that place whether I want to or not,” I mumble
into his chest, soaking up his warmth and breathing in his
cologne.

“
My mom will eat that
deposit if you want to get married at the Bellagio. Do you want to
get married in Las Vegas or not?” His hardened tone serves its
purpose. I know he’ll do anything for me.

“
I want what you want. I
just want to get married to you. I really don’t care how or when I
just wasn’t planning on spending so damn much money or making such
a huge production of it. But if you don’t care, I don’t
care.”

Declan smirks sexily at me. “Sunshine, you
asked me to officially marry you today. I don’t care about anything
but getting your hot ass down that aisle in exactly twenty-one
days.”

Ava

I honestly never believed I would be
standing here today, staring at my reflection on my wedding day. My
hair is down, pinned back on one side with a sterling silver clip
that once belonged to Jackson’s grandmother that his mother gave to
me as an early wedding gift. My gown, the first one, is strapless
and fitted, floor length with a lace overlay. We added a silk belt
with a rhinestone applique that rests in the center of my tummy.
You can only see my shoes when I walk and they peek out from
beneath my gown, but they’re crazy sexy shoes. They’re metallic
silver with a little medallion on the toes and I think I’ll wear
them to the grocery store every day because I love them that much.
I’m wearing my bracelet Dec had made for me for my birthday, a
necklace that Macie and I found on one of our wedding shopping
sprees, and the diamond studs that Nancy and Mark gave me this
morning.

I think about how this last month turned out
not so bad once everyone agreed to not go over the prices with
me—they went to Declan for that. I don’t know what this ended up
costing us, but I do know that by the time Harper goes to college,
it’ll probably cover the cost of one of her courses. Maybe. I also
know that other than the eventual children we will be having, this
wedding and the damn contract I will be signing in about an hour
are the highlights of Declan’s life. He’s been floating while
planning this monstrosity. I’m actually happy that I had a
breakdown and my surprise fell through so he was able to plan this
himself.

“
You know this just may be
the shittiest day of my life, right?” I hear from behind me,
looking up from admiring my sexy metallic shoes to see Jax’s
reflection behind me. His words may be solemn and crude on the
happiest day of my life, but he’s smiling from ear to
ear.

“
I don’t believe that for
a second, Jackson Lee Andrews,” I tease as I gather my dress
carefully and spin around to face him. He comes to me and gathers
me up tight in his arms. I wrap mine around his waist, careful to
keep my head pulled back not to mess up my hair and make up on his
chest.

“
I’ve imagined this day a
million times, babe, but I was wearing the special tux, not this
boring suit.” He’s still smiling but I know he means his words. Jax
never really let go of the idea of us.

“
Oh, Jax.” I sigh, because
really, what do I say? We’ve been on this merry-go-round time and
time again.

“
He’s the lucky bastard,
you know that, right? Don’t go into this thinking you’re the one
winning the prize. Declan’s great and I’m happy for you, really, I
am, but he’s the one who’s hitting the lottery tonight, baby. Tell
me you believe that and I’ll smile through the rest of this
torturous event,” Jax says seriously.

I’ll tell him I believe it because I do, to
an extent, but that’s not an argument I’ll win with this lawyer.
Declan is my prize and I believe we’re both hitting the lottery
tonight; we get each other for the rest of our lives.

“
I do believe that, Jax,”
I say quietly.

He leans down and kisses my cheek softly. “I
love you, Ava, I always will,” he whispers before taking a deep
breath and straightening himself. “Now let me take you out to your
future husband before he hunts me down and beats my ass.” Jax
cracks a smile and pulls me from the bridal suite.

I thought about asking Max to walk me down
the aisle, but before I had the chance, he told me his idea
instead. I had gone over for coffee one morning and out of the blue
he said, “The reason you have someone walk you down the aisle is so
that person can give you away. They can only give you away if
they’ve had you; typically it’s your father, but not always.”

I asked him if he was telling me this
because he did or didn’t want to walk me down the isle and his
response was, “This has nothing to do with me, sweet girl. You’ve
had one constant in your life since you were old enough to grasp
what love and relationships mean. For almost ten years now you’ve
had a friend who’s loved and protected you, who’s been your family
through everything. That’s who needs to be giving you up and giving
you away to your husband.”

When I called and asked Jax to walk me down
the aisle and give me away, he hung up on me. It took him two days
to call me back and tell me he would do it. I didn’t have to ask
the questions that I knew he didn’t want to give me answers to and
he didn’t have to tell me the thoughts he knew I didn’t want to ask
about. He simply said he would do whatever I needed him to do and
we never talked about it again.

Now we’re standing in front of lavish double
doors that keep us shielded from the three hundred or so guests (I
stopped asking). Jax is standing tall next to me, holding me steady
with my arm tucked safely inside his. The wedding party has already
lined up, including a very antsy Harper, who refused to leave her
Daddy’s side today. The wedding planner, who has been chirping into
his earpiece/microphone and my ear all day long, is at it again.
He’s more nervous than I am and it’s starting to freak me out.

“
Okay, Ava, just remember
to walk slowly, do
not
go too fast. Brides always go too fast and it screws up the
thing with the music and when the music gets off then the officiant
gets all screwed up and doesn’t know when to start and all of a
sudden it’s like we’re a bunch of wild animals loose at a zoo. So
please, for the love of God, Do. Not. Walk. Too. Quickly,” he
stresses in one long breath.

Now all I can picture are animals running
wild on the other side of the door. Great. Jax laughs quietly and
rubs my arm. The guy counts down dramatically with his fingers as
he silently mouths the numbers and then slowly opens the door to a
room full of blurry faces, sheer gold material draped everywhere.
Flowers stand tall in bouquets on the round tables where the guests
are seated. The atmosphere is softened with rose-colored lighting
and dramatized by the large crystal chandelier hanging above the
small raised stage where Declan stands, looking simply edible. By
the time I take in the room, we’ve reached our stopping point and I
have no idea if we ran or crawled to get here; I sure hope we
didn’t screw up. That poor wedding planner is probably having a
heart attack right now if we did. I turn to Jax and whisper as he
hugs me, “Did we mess up the music? Are there going to be wild
animals?”

Jax laughs, kisses my cheek. “You’re
perfect, Ava, now go get your perfect life started.” He places my
hand in Declan’s before shaking Dec’s other hand.

We went with the modern
version of the traditional vows. It was a fight I was willing to
fight and I won; I did
not
want to write my own vows. I also did
not
want to say that I
would “obey.” Dec had fun with that one for about a minute.
Nonetheless, it didn’t matter, because I’m on autopilot the whole
ceremony. I feel Dec’s warm strong fingers caressing my shaky,
sweaty hands, and my gaze never leaves his beautiful smiling eyes.
I know I say the words, but my brain focuses on the way his lips
form the words of his vows to me and the way his eyes sparkle when
he says, “I do.” I only become present to the here and now when he
forcefully pulls me to him and takes my bottom lip into his mouth
before pressing his tongue into mine. My hands go quickly up to his
neck and I kiss him like haven’t seen him for weeks. I couldn’t
care less that I know ten percent of these people in
here.

The room erupts in loud cheers and whistles.
Dec pulls back, but continues to hold me close. “I can’t wait to
get you of this dress,” he says in a deep tone across my lips. “You
are so sexy I’m not going to be able to wait until after this
reception, Sunshine.”

I lose my breath. He kisses me one more time
before the guys next to us start yelling at him to let me go so
they can go get a beer.

I am now Mrs. Declan James and I have
performed all of the acts that were requested of me today: Show
up-check, get dressed-check, pictures-check, get married-check, get
dressed again-check, first dance, throw bouquet, cut cake, eat
dinner and dance-all checked. Now I’m exhausted and I’m sitting
here outside, alone for once, drinking a Long Island Iced Tea. It’s
probably a bad choice, but Keegan bought it for me and I gladly
accepted. My feet are dead, my dress is sucking the life out of me,
and I can barely keep my eyes open. Declan, the man who didn’t
think he could wait to get through the reception, hasn’t left the
bar or the dance floor once since we walked in. I haven’t been
allowed to leave his side but I managed to sneak away. I need a
break, a bed actually, but a break will do for now.

“
No bride should ever be
alone on her wedding night, especially not one as beautiful as you.
Someone might steal you away.” I look up to discover who the
unfamiliar voice belongs to and see Declan’s cousin, Talon
McAllister. This man, he is gorgeous. Of course he looks a lot like
my husband, so I could be a little biased, but still,
gorgeous.

I smile up at him as my feet dangle from the
stone wall I’ve perched myself on. He sits down next to me and we
can hear the party carrying on to the right of us. “I could say the
same to you about Bailey; I wouldn’t think you would let that one
wander too far alone,” I say teasingly as I smile up at him.

Talon laughs and agrees with me. “You’re
right about that one, she’s with my mom meeting a bunch of family
members from out here or else I would have her on that dance floor.
That woman can dance like nothing I’ve ever seen,” he says
wistfully and I swear I can feel the love coming from him.

“
When is it your turn to
do this whole get up?” I nudge him with my elbow and he throws his
arm around my shoulders, pulling me close.

“
Not for a while; she’s
not ready yet. But I am working on some things. She doesn’t know it
yet, but I’m restoring an old house that she loves and I’m going to
give it to her for an engagement gift.”

I pat him on the knee. That is the sweetest
thing.

Talon takes a deep breath then looks down at
me seriously. “Ava, Dec told me everything you two have been
through and I just wanted to tell you that I think you are
incredibly brave and amazingly strong. If it were up to me to
choose someone for that kid, it’d be you for sure. I couldn’t be
more proud to have you as part of my family.” Talon kisses me on my
forehead just as we hear, “Hey! There you two are!” from a kind and
happy voice.

“
Hey there, love, you were
able to finally escape the mob, huh?” Talon teases Bailey as he
stands and wraps her up tightly in his arms, kissing her
soundly.

“
Sunshine, where the hell
have you been? I’ve been going crazy looking for you!” My man? Not
so kind. A little deranged actually.

“
I’m sorry, babe, I just
needed a break,” I say tiredly.

“
We’ll let you two have a
few minutes of peace before you have to go back to the madhouse.
I’ll let your mom know you’ve found her,” Bailey offers sweetly as
Talon grabs her hand and prepares to walk away.

I’m getting ready to respond to her since
Declan is just standing there staring at me when he finally makes
his move, closing the distance between us and grasping my hand in
his. I feel the cool metal of his wedding band as he entwines his
fingers with mine.

“
Actually, Bay, just tell
everyone we said thank you and goodnight. My wife’s tired and I’m
taking her to bed.” He doesn’t wait for her to answer, just walks
towards the entrance of the hotel, pulling me behind him. I hear
Talon and Bailey laughing.

* * * * * *

A bath is exactly what I need right now. A
hot bubble bath in a huge Jacuzzi with my husband, actually. I rest
my tired head on his hard, sculpted chest as he runs the sponge
over my exposed skin. I’m nearly asleep when I feel Dec’s lips
brush the side of my face.

“
Today was more than I
ever could have expected. Thank you, Sunshine. Thank you for doing
such a beautiful job on raising our daughter when I wasn’t around.
Thank you for falling in love with me. Thank you for trusting me to
put your lives in my hands and most of all, thank you for marrying
me today.”

I turn around in his embrace, not caring
that the water is splashing over the edges of the tub. I place my
knees on either side of him and cup his face with both of my hands.
“Declan, today was perfect, we are going to continue to raise an
amazing daughter together as a team. Thank you for saving me from
my lonely existence and falling in love with me. Thank you for
believing in me and thank you for saying yes when I asked you to
marry me.”