Without You: Book 1 of the Changing Hearts Series (15 page)

Some people had turned in their direction, but they ignored it, clapping for Jimmy. Ariana had never seen Mayra blush before. She pretended not to notice as she bit the inside of her cheek to keep from smiling too hard.

###

It was six o’clock that evening, and Ariana, Mayra, and her family were back in the school gym.
 

It was the last quarter of the game, and Jimmy’s team was losing by five points. Ryan had played a short while but had just been benched.
 

“They shouldn’t have been so cocky in the first half of the game,” her dad said, mostly to himself. She nodded. The team had come back, but it still wasn’t a sure thing that they would win. Just a few minutes were left, and each team kept making a basket. She realized she was chewing her nails, and she stopped. Lucas was beside her. He took her hand and smiled, kissing her on the cheek. Mayra was on his other side.

“I think they’re gonna win,” she said. “They have to. This isn’t even a tough school.”

“They’re really not,” Lucas said.
 

They watched Jimmy’s teammate dribble the ball down the court, putting his hand up to indicate a play.
 

Jimmy was on the far side, moving around. Suddenly, he feinted to one side and then sprinted the other way, behind the hoop and to the other corner, which was practically empty. A split second after he got there, the ball flew through the air, straight at him. He caught it, faced the hoop, and shot the ball, even though a player from the other team was coming straight at him. That player jumped, high, trying to block the ball, but it was no use.
 

“It’s a three,” she heard Lucas say. But would it go in?

It did. The crowd erupted in applause. People stomped their feet on the bleachers and screamed so hard it was impossible to hear anything else. Arianna laughed and cheered.

“Just two more points,” her dad said.
 

Her mom was busy taking pictures. “Si se puede!” she screamed.

“There’s less than a minute left,” Lucas said, looking at the clock and back at the game.
 

Thirty seconds later, they were just a single point behind. Jimmy’s team had made another three pointer while the opposing team had scored two more points.
 

Seven seconds were left.

Ariana was tapping her right foot like mad, Lucas’s hand forgotten at her side.
 

One of Jimmy’s teammates went for the shot. It didn’t go in.

The whistle blew.

“Oh my God!” Lucas said, standing up and sitting back down.
 

Two seconds left.
 

“What?” Mayra and Ariana shouted. “What does it mean?

“Foul. The other guy hit his hand. He gets two shots. He needs to make them or they’ll lose or tie.”

They turned back to the game.
 

Jimmy’s teammate went up to the free throw line. The gym fell mostly silent. The referee blew his whistle again, signaling for him to shoot.

He looked down. Sweat dripped down his nose, but he wiped it away. He bounced the ball a few times. Ariana could see him taking a deep breath. The gym was silent except for that one baby that could always be heard crying at public events. He looked at the basket, put the ball in his hands, and threw the ball.
 

In.
 

Everyone cheered.

The ref threw the ball back to him, and again, the gym was quiet. A baby was still crying. Ariana hoped the guy down there wouldn’t be distracted because of it. He did the same thing. Bounced the ball. Took a deep breath. And the ball left his hands to make a long arc towards the hoop.
 

The ball danced on the rim for two seconds before going in.
 

Ariana, Mayra, Lucas, and her family stood up, clapping along with everyone else. The other team got the ball and began dribbling down the court again. They had two seconds to make a comeback. Not likely but not impossible. The guy flung the ball across the gym with one second left. It hit the backboard, gasps could be heard all around, but the ball bounced away.
 

Nothing. They had won. Jimmy ran and lifted the coach into the air. Meanwhile, Ariana and Mayra screamed and clapped along with their entire half of the stands.

###

Ariana wondered how to ask Mayra her question without completely embarrassing herself.

They were at Mayra’s house. They had just a few days until winter break. Ariana shifted on the bed. Mayra was at her desk, finishing up some homework. Ariana had finished a few minutes ago, and her stuff was already in her bag.

She watched Mayra’s pencil scratch the worksheet in front of her. Mayra sighed, flipped the pencil over, and began erasing entire lines of writing.
 

“Mayra?”

“Yes? Kinda busy here if you didn’t notice.” She began writing again.
 

“I’ll help you if you want. But I wanted to ask you something first.” She leaned on her elbow and made herself not chew her lip.
 

“What is it?” Mayra asked, swiveling her chair around.

“So,” she began, wondering just how to word her thoughts. “Lucas and I—”

“You’re not a virgin anymore!” Mayra exclaimed, dropping her pencil on the floor.
 

“Oh my gosh,” she said, sitting up. “I am a virgin. I swear.”

“You want to not be a virgin anymore,” Mayra said, hopping onto the bed. Her homework lay forgotten on the floor.

Ariana studied the bedspread. Mayra gasped. “Have you and Lucas talked about it?”

“No. Not yet. It’s just… I want to be prepared.”

Mayra nodded.

“I feel like I might be ready, but I’m not sure. But just in case we decide to…I want to get birth control.”

“That’s a smart thing to do,” Mayra said. She got up from the bed and went over to her night stand. She opened a drawer and began rummaging through it. She got out a circular plastic container and some small square packages. Condoms.

“Here,” she said, throwing them on the bed. “Take some of these.” She scooted a few condoms towards her. Ariana picked one up.
 

“Don’t these expire?”

“You’ve been researching,” Mayra said with a smile.

Ariana stuttered. “I like to be informed.”

Mayra laughed. “These are still good. It’s always good to be double protected. I use condoms, not that I’ve had occasion to use them in a while since I just haven’t gone out with anyone anymore. But I always carry some with me in case of a fling.”

Now it was Ariana’s turn to laugh.

“Not that I’ve ever had one. But you just never know when you’ll run into a Channing Tatum look alike or something. Oh, and if a guy ever says he doesn’t want to use a condom, no matter what excuse he gives you, grab your panties and run the other way.”

Ariana laughed as she pictured Mayra running away in such a situation.

She picked up the round plastic container and opened it up. There were a bunch of tiny pills around a wheel. She noticed different colors. Mayra must have already taken some of them because there were some missing.

“Those are birth control pills. I still take them in case because they take a few weeks to start being effective. I got a bunch of these at a free clinic. I can take you if you want. I could just give these to you but you should go and get checked.”

“What do you mean?”

“Basically, you get a check-up down there.”

She blinked and asked. “Really? Doesn’t my mom need to take me, though?”

“Uh uh. You can go by yourself or even with Lucas. They won’t say anything.”

Ariana nodded. “Let’s go tomorrow.” She also made a mental note to someday very soon have the talk with Lucas. She still wasn’t sure about discussing it with her mom. She didn’t want to risk getting in trouble. Everything was finally going okay, and she didn’t want to mess that up. But she did want to be ready in case she and Lucas became ready to take the next step.

Ariana held the wheel of pills in her hand. Then she felt the bracelet on her wrist, remembering the moment Lucas had put it on her. She was in her room, standing in front of her dresser.
 

The lady at the clinic had been really nice and explained just how the pills worked. She admitted to herself that she had no idea when she would have sex with Lucas. They’d never talked about it. And they still hadn’t taken things too far. They kissed. A lot. Hands went to other places, but for the most part, they hadn’t gotten crazy. She smiled, realizing she liked that about Lucas.

Things with Carlos had gotten serious pretty quickly. She shuddered at the thought of having stayed with him. She hadn’t even considered taking birth control then.

Now, though, things were different. She and Lucas were savoring their relationship, taking things slow. Partly because they didn’t get to see each other that much, but she kind of liked that. She had time to focus on her classes and get the grades she wanted, and Lucas had to work and keep up with school. Not to mention helping out at home.
 

She had no idea what that moment would be like. When Lucas would see her naked. When she’d see him naked for the first time. But now she knew, that whenever it happened, it could be special. And they’d be able to completely enjoy it.
 

She swallowed the month’s first pill and hid the bag of birth control pills deep in a drawer.
 

The lady had given her enough for six months.
 

She still contemplated whether she should have told her mom about it, but she shoved that thought aside, deciding she’d tell her some other time, when it felt right and she and Lucas were getting closer to taking things that far.

###

Ariana shivered in the cold. She and Lucas were outside her house.
 

He had swung by after work to see her for a bit. It was wet and cold outside, Ariana’s least favorite weather combination. Her parents were inside watching TV. They had just had dinner.
 

She wrapped her arms around herself, but Lucas snuggled her, wrapping his arms around her from behind. They leaned against his car.
 

That was her parents’ rule. They weren’t allowed to be in his car alone while he came over, but it was still better than sitting awkwardly in the living room.
 

She wondered what it would be like to be in college together. Do whatever they wanted whenever they wanted. She couldn’t wait.

“So how was work?” she asked before other kinds of thoughts began invading her mind.

“Boring. As usual,” he said, resting his head on top of hers. “It was so slow. Weekdays always are.”

“Hm,” she said, closing her eyes.

“But at least I got to work on homework when the manager was in her office. So when I get home all I have to do is shower and eat. And go to sleep.”

“You haven’t eaten?” she asked, turning around. “You should have said something. Duh. I should have offered.”

Lucas turned her around and wrapped his arms around her once again.

“Nah. This is better.”

She smiled and put her hands on his arms. They had on jackets so she couldn’t feel his warm skin. She turned around, and without letting go of each other, she kissed him on the lips. She needed to feel him. Because soon he would be gone.
 

A few minutes later, they pulled apart.
 

“So have you started applying to colleges yet? You’re going to apply to UGA, right?”

He looked down before looking at her.

“I guess I’ll apply, but I don’t think I can go anywhere other than the community college here,” he said.
 

“Why not?” It didn’t even come out as a question. She knew the answer.
 

“One, I can’t afford it. I’d have to find a new job, and even then, it won’t be enough, even with financial aid. And you know I can’t leave. I help my mom with the rent and bills. I can’t do that if I have to pay my own rent and bills.”

She fought the tears at her eyes. “I know. What are we going to do?”

She couldn’t bring herself to say out loud the rest of what she was thinking. What were they going to do if they couldn’t be together? Would they have to break up?

“I know I can’t ask this of you,” he looked down as he said it, “but have you considered going to school here? With me? We’d be able to be close to each other, stay together.”

She sighed. “I don’t know. I really want to go to UGA. I mean, I guess, if I don’t get in, then yeah. I’ll stay here. I just wish there was a way for both of us to get what we want.”

She thought for a moment. “What if you applied for scholarships?”

It was his turn to sigh. “I only have okay grades. And that still wouldn’t help my mom.”

Now the tears were at her eyes. She bit her lip, forcing the frog in her throat to leave.
 

Lucas grabbed her chin and lifted it so she was looking at him.
 

“We’ll figure it out,” he said, hugging her. “I promise. I can’t lose you.”

“And I promise that if we can’t,” she said, hoping he heard her from being buried in his chest, “I’ll stay here with you.”

“It’s okay.” He hugged her back. “There’s no point worrying about all this right now anyway.”

She thought about that. It was already early December. She’d find out in a matter of days if she got in early to UGA or not.

###

Ariana blinked her eyes awake and immediately froze. She was staring at the ceiling but not really looking at it. There were a gazillion things flashing in her mind.

It was December fifteenth.
 

She was supposed to find out by today at 4 o’clock if she had gotten in to the University of Georgia early or not.
 

Her stomach felt queasy as she decided whether to check the status of her application before she went to school or not. She slowly sat up and gripped the edge of the bed. The carpet felt fuzzy and soft under her feet.
 

Ariana knew that if she didn’t check now, she wouldn’t be able to focus on anything else besides wondering if she got in. On UGA’s decision about her, if she was worthy enough, basically, to go there.