Without You Here (20 page)

"No idea. She broke up with me. But she was upset before that."

"Do you think the breaking up was a result of the upset, then? Or the other way around?"

"She was definitely upset first."

"Do you think it had anything to do with her little affair last weekend?"

Blake glanced at her. "She told you about that?"

"Of course. It's Ettie. She tells me everything."

He tried not to be irritated. "I don't know if this has anything to do with that."

Lauren didn't pursue it anymore. But every time he glanced at her, he saw she was pensive. She must know something.

They drove on into town and he took her past the newspaper office. Showed her Main Street with the shops that had been spiffed up using that historical grant a few years back. He drove her down to the river. It was a good time of year because there were blossoms on all the wild cherry trees. She acted unimpressed, which he'd expected, but he noticed her eyes lingered on the beautiful scene. "You wanna hang out a while?" he asked. "We could walk along the river. Get some fresh air after that long drive you had."

She turned and stared at him. "Why?"

He shrugged. "I don't know. Just because."

"That's no kind of a reason to do anything."

"How about because you and I haven't had much time together lately and I miss you."

She snorted at this. "You miss me? That's ridiculous. We see each other every day."

"Yeah, but we never get to talk anymore."

"What could you possibly want to talk about?"

He sighed and let his gaze wander the landscape ahead of him. "I just always feel good when we're talking, that's all."

She was quiet for a long moment. "You've had Ettie to talk to. Isn't that enough?"

Ettie was great. He loved her. Or thought he did. But, "She's just so...flaky sometimes. And she has the attention span of a toddler. Half the time I feel I'm more like her parent than her boyfriend...er...friend."

Lauren laughed. "You and me both. I'm constantly on her case to pick up after herself or call when she's going to be out late. Do you know how many times I've had to drag her drunk ass out of a bar to keep her from getting date-raped? It's exhausting."

He nodded.

"But I love her. And I think you do, too," she said.

"I do. I love her. But...."

"What?"

"Maybe it's not the kind of love I thought it was. I can't imagine not having her in my life, but when I think about marriage and kids...I just can't imagine having those things with her. I'm not sure I'd want to."

Lauren didn't answer. Blake couldn't bring himself to look at her. Suddenly, he asked, "What did I do to you that was so bad that you wouldn't give me a second date?"

Lauren reeled. "Why are you asking this? It was three years ago."

"I really liked you, Lauren. I wasn't just looking for a one-night-stand. I really liked you and you went from hot to cold in an instant."

Lauren gritted her teeth. "It's ridiculous to talk about this now."

Blake was silent.

Lauren sighed. "When you asked me out, I was very clear about my dating rules. I told you that I considered the first date a getting-to-know-you date and that there would be no kissing or touching, let alone sex. But what did you do? As soon as dinner was over, you walked me back to my car and suddenly got grabby. I told you to stop and you argued with me. That was that. I figured if you couldn't respect my wishes on a first date, I certainly couldn't trust you for future dates."

Blake pressed his face into his hands. "Obviously I messed up," he said. "I guess I thought I was the exception to your rules, what with the way we'd hit it off that evening. What I don't understand is why I don't get a second chance?"

"I didn't give you a second chance, then, because you'd pissed me off and I was stubborn."

"And now?" he asked.

She was quiet for a beat. "Now you're all set, right? You've got Ettie. You'll get her back. You always do."

"Yeah," he said softly. "I've got Ettie."

She nodded. "Well, there you go."

The silence became incredibly awkward. And then he looked at her. She kept her eyes trained forward. "Blake, I...."

But he grabbed her chin, turned her toward him and kissed her. Not a sweet kiss. But a hungry one. A kiss that held the promise of sweaty bodies entwined and heavy breathing. Her arms went 'round his neck and their kiss slowed into something more deep, but still passionate.

At last she managed to free her lips. She kept her forehead pressed to his. "She's my best friend, Blake," Lauren said.

He laid his hand along one side of her jaw and sweet kisses along the other. "You're my best friend, Lauren," he said softly.

"Oh, Blake," she breathed. And then she jolted back. "That's enough."

He watched her for a second. He couldn't read her. He'd never been able to read her. She had far too much control. He put the truck back into gear and they went to get the ice cream and head home. He was so distracted on the drive back that he ended up speeding down the highway. He wouldn't have noticed if not for the lights flashing behind him.

"Shit," he muttered, pulling over.

He waited until Andy Carter got out of the squad car and approached the window. "What's up, Blake?" he asked.

"I've got ice cream melting, Andy. Let's get this over with."

"Do you know why I pulled you over?"

"Cut the shit, will ya?"

The rotund officer laughed and held out his hand. There were two officers in town and Blake might've gotten a friendly warning from the other one. But he and Andy didn't like each other too much, so there was no sense playing nice. He dug his license out of his wallet. "Lauren, could you grab that insurance card in the glove compartment."

She handed it to him and Andy took the documents back to his car. Blake turned to Lauren to see whether she was going to make fun of him or not. Instead, she surprised him by holding up a pink, lacy bra. "This yours?" she asked.

Blake's eyebrows shot up. "No. This is Dad's truck."

"Wow. Looks like he's had some pretty good luck recently."

Blake grinned. Finally a clue to last weekend's mystery woman. He couldn't wait to get home and ask about this.

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

Liza felt horrible being mired amidst all this secrecy. She wasn't a secret person. She was a head-on, confrontational type and she didn't like sneaking around. But there was Ettie gazing like a love sick puppy at Wyatt. And Wyatt looking at turns miserable and angry. And poor Blake going about as though there was nothing wrong in the world.

At the moment, she didn't know where either Wyatt or Ettie were. Stan and Cecily were playing chess on the back porch. The twins and their girlfriends were off horse riding. Diane and Rick were weeding the flower beds. Charles was cleaning up the fryer.

Liza hesitated a moment, and then went inside and straight for the stairs. She breathed relief when she saw Ettie's bedroom door was open. But she tensed again when she saw them. Sitting side by side on the edge of the bed, their backs to her. She was crying and he was rubbing slow circles over her back. And then she turned into his arms and he held her.

Liza might have left them alone except that Blake could be back any moment. She cleared her throat, loudly, and Wyatt jumped up and turned. His eyes were red-rimmed with dark circles underneath. He looked pale and tired and...old. "I was just saying goodbye," he said.

Liza nodded. Tried to smile. Ettie stood and wrapped her arms around his waist. He didn't hug her back, this time. Just looked at Liza, the misery increasing with each passing second.

"I'll wait," Ettie sobbed. "I'll wait for you."

He didn't say anything. He gave her hair a stroke. Then pried her arms off of him and walked past Liza, down the stairs, and out the front door. Liza watched Ettie, for a moment. The girl stood where he'd left her, her head hanging. Her blond hair reached all the way down her back.

Then she drew herself up, rolled her shoulders back, lifted her head, and inhaled. She turned to face Liza. There were tears on her face, but none in her eyes. She smiled. "Can I help you do dishes?" she asked.

Which was when Liza knew for sure that this girl was stronger than her son, who was nearly twice the girl's age. It was also when Liza knew for sure that the two of them should be together. They would challenge each other. Have fun with each other. Love each other. She smiled back. "Of course. I never turn down a willing worker."

They went back to the kitchen and Ettie washed while Liza dried. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she was already thinking of Ettie as her future daughter-in-law. "What's your mother like?" Liza asked.

"Oh," Ettie said, a little laugh escaping her lips, "she's nothing like you. She's...." And then a sadness passed over her face. Made extra sad because of Ettie's seemingly imperturbable talent for joy. "She's strange. I don't suppose I really understand her. But I think she loves me."

"Do you see her often?"

"Oh, yes. Any weekend I can." She scrubbed away at the dishes, occasionally tossing her hair out of the way. "She's not super independent and whenever I can, I take her groceries or things she needs. She's kind of a shut-in. I mean, it's self-imposed, but the result's the same as if she were sick."

"Why doesn't she go out?"

A sigh. And a pensive silence. "I'm not sure I can explain it. Mostly she's scared. Of my dad coming back. He was really...weird. And creepy. And when he left...just disappeared...she just sort of waited for him. And then instead of gradually letting him go, she just kind of cowered in that house, trying to keep everything the same as before. Just in case he came back. I guess that's why I get so upset at Wyatt."

"Why's that?"

"Because he keeps everything the same. Like his wife's gonna come back. I don't know whether he truly feels guilty; or if he's hiding behind his grief because he's afraid of life. All's I know is he's lost. Like my Mom is. And I have sympathy, I really do. But it also angers me because you don't have to be lost. You can take charge, right? I mean, I did. So how come they don't? Don't they want to be free of the burdens they're carrying?"

Liza suddenly brought Ettie into her arms and hugged her. Ettie hugged back without hesitation. Then she held her at arm's length and smiled proudly at her. "You're a good girl, Ettie."

Ettie beamed proudly. "You think so?"

Liza nodded. This time Ettie hugged her first. "I wish I could stay here with you and be a farmer."

"Oh, sweetie, you come and visit anytime you want. With or without Blake or Wyatt. I'd be happy for your company."

Ettie squeezed tighter. Then the sound of the front door opening and closing carried through and a moment later, Blake and Lauren appeared, carrying ice cream. And something else.

Blake held up a pink bra and grinned. "Look what I found in Dad's pickup," he said.

Liza gave Ettie a quick glance. The girl had gone sheet white. "It's not like him to incriminate himself like that," Liza said.

Blake shrugged. "I figure we can work up some sort of psychological profile based on this. It's kind of wild, right? And Lauren says it's a really expensive brand."

Everyone seemed to have scented in on the ice cream because they all wandered in from outside. Stan, Jesse and Alex gathered around Blake and began speculating about the bra. Ettie was leaning on the counter, watching them, looking ill as could be. Liza tried to go on as though nothing was happening. She dished out ice cream and handed bowls around.

"Okay, so what do we have?" Stan said, stepping back from the group, the bra dangling from his fingertip. Then he frowned and looked around. "Hey, where's my brother?"

"He went home," Liza said. "Why don't you save this for next time you see him."

Stan frowned. Then shook his head. "Nah. It's better this way. He can't beat me up. Okay, so what we have is a short-ish, young, blond with adventurous taste in undergarments."

Liza watched the men all frowning in thought. Except for Blake, whose eyes were suddenly on Ettie's.

Charles had joined the crowd. Liza hadn't told him anything. Which was hard on her, because she told her husband everything. "According to Lyle Allen," Charles said, "the girl wasn't from around here. And she was apparently pretty fun and flirty."

"Yeah," Stan said. "Did you know she picked him up? A cute, young blond goes out of her way to pick up Wyatt. Must be something wrong with her."

"Jesus Fucking Christ," Blake growled.

Ettie shrank back.

He looked more angry than shocked. "I don't know why I'm even surprised. You're such a goddamn whore, Ettie!"

Blooms of color stained her cheeks. Everyone went into various, comedic postures of shock. Lauren rushed to Ettie's side, taking up more of a supportive position rather than a defensive one. Ettie was shaking her head frantically. "I didn't know who he was," she said.

"Well you knew he wasn't me, didn't you?"

"We were broken up!"

"For what, a half hour? Christ, Ettie!"

Her poor body was trembling. A million emotions played out across her face.

"So, okay," Blake said, now pacing in short bursts. "Let's set aside the fact that you're a cheating whore and that you slept with my father. Why didn't you tell me when we got here? You just acted like you didn't know him. Why?"

"Why do you think? I saw him and...and we just...I don't know...it was just—“

"Speak, Ettie!"

"I'm trying!" Then she buried her face in her hands and sobbed.

Blake looked at Lauren. "Did you know about this?" he asked.

She shook her head quickly.

Then he turned to Stan. "Uncle Stan? Did you know?"

"No. No way." He gingerly placed the pink bra on the counter. Ettie grabbed it and hugged it to her chest.

Then Blake turned to Liza. "Grammy?"

She swallowed. "I figured it out Friday night."

He threw up his hands. "That's great. My own grandmother."

Charles was the one Liza was staring at, though. He was angry. And disappointed. "I'm sorry," Liza said. "It wasn't my secret. I've been encouraging them both to come out with it, but—“