WRECKED: GODS OF CHAOS MC, BOOK FOUR (19 page)

I had to fucking find her. If Travis didn’t have her back to me by tomorrow, he’d be buried by midnight.

I sat down on my bed - our bed - the one I’d slept alone in for the last few days, and tried to think of where she might have gone. She’d taken nothing with her. She had no money, no friends, no family, no life outside of me.

Wherever she was, I was certain she was alone. Which actually made me feel a little better, once I came to that conclusion.

Because I would have to kill whoever touched my Vanessa, I just would.

My phone rang, startling me and ripping me from my thoughts.

“What’s up, Bruce?” I answered. Bruce was an old friend that I’d made millions with over the years. He was an overseas banker. I made sure he had clients and he made sure I got a little finder’s fee. Vanessa and I had dinner with him and his wife three weeks ago after they’d arrived from their home in the Cayman Islands for a vacation in the States.

“Royce, I’m so glad you answered,” his deep voice boomed through the phone, the sound of crashing waves in the background.

“Always, Bruce. You at the coast? I hear waves.”

“I am, actually. Took a trip here to sightsee with Vivian. That’s why I’m calling.”

“What’s up?”

“Well, I hope I’m wrong, but I’m not sure, so I couldn’t just not call. But it’s about your wife.”

“Vanessa? What about her?” I asked.

“Well, shit, Royce, I could have sworn I just saw her. Is everything okay with the two of you?”

“Of course it is. Why do you ask?” My heart was racing. Maybe this was a lead.

“Is she with you, Royce? I could have sworn I just saw her.”

“She’s not here,” I said, guarding my words. I didn’t want anyone to know Vanessa had left me, if I could help it. “She went out of town for a few days to unwind.”

“I see. Well, I’m pretty sure I just saw her, Royce, and well…”

“What, Bruce? Where are you?”

“I’m at Hug Point just South of Cannon Beach, Royce…I’m pretty sure it’s her, Royce, and well, it’s not good, man, it’s not good at all…”

Wreck

The ambulance ride to the hospital was a time of pure torture. I sat in the corner, watching the paramedics work on Vanessa, her cold, lifeless body completely unresponsive to everything they were doing to her.

I shook my head over and over as I watched, hugging the blanket they’d given me around my body, shivering from the fear more than the cold. My clothes were soaked and all I could taste was the fishy, salty ocean water I’d swallowed.

I’d done everything I could to save her. The wave took us both out, but she taken the brunt of its force. Once I’d finally reached her and was able to get a good grip on her, we’d both been under for at least a minute or two.

I don’t know - time stopped the first time she said Frankie’s name and everything after that was such a blur that nothing was making sense, especially time.

All I remember thinking is that I had to save her, no matter who she was.

Even if she was playing some kind of game with me, I still had to save her.

Whoever she was.

Could she really be Frankie? I wondered.

None of that really mattered. All I knew was that I couldn’t lose her, I just couldn’t. And yet, even though I’d finally managed to latch onto her ankle and pull her head up as fast as I could, it was too late.

I pulled her limp body to shore with the help of the couple that had arrived earlier. I’d begun performing CPR on her until the paramedics arrived and took over, but she still hadn’t opened her eyes.

We’d been rushed back up the stairs and into the ambulance and now here I was, my heart in my throat and Vanessa lying there unconscious and not breathing, as the ambulance driver drove at the speed of sound to get us to the hospital.

“Come on, baby, come on,” I muttered, shaking, shivering, and more afraid than I’ve ever been in my life. “I can’t lose you, I can’t lose you…”

Royce

“Bruce?” I answered the phone before the first ring was finished. “What did you find out?”

“Not much,” he said. “They were in a big hurry to get them out of here.”

“Them?” I asked.

“Yeah, she was with a guy. A big guy. Big scar on his face.”

“I see,” I said, rage and worry boiling through my veins. If this was Vanessa, and she’d let someone else get close enough to touch that virgin face of mine, I was going to have to kill him.

“Look, Royce, I hope it’s okay, but I snapped a photo, just in case. Maybe it’s not her after all? Her hair was wet…she was unconscious, maybe I’m wrong. My eyes could be betraying me.”

“No, I’m glad you took a photo. Can you text it to me?”

“Yeah, of course.”

“Thanks, Bruce. Say - did you hear what hospital she was going to?”

“Providence in Seaside,” he answered. “It’s the closest emergency room.”

“Got it,” I said, “send me that picture. Thanks, Bruce. I’m hoping it’s not her, but if it is I’ll let you know.”

“Sure, man. Let me know if there’s anything I can do.”

“Will do,” I said, hanging up. A moment later the photo came through. I nodded slowly as I saw it. It was definitely my Vanessa.

A water-logged Vanessa was passed out on the beach with a man hovering over her, a look of complete anguish on his face. I squinted and looked closer. He looked very, very familiar. I went into my closet and pulled out a box I hadn’t looked in for a very long time. The picture was still there, just as I’d left it years ago. I hadn’t needed it. Vanessa had been so compliant, so obedient, there was no need for my threats any longer.

I compared the two pictures side by side, my mind altering the first, aging the face, adding scars, paying close attention to the similarities in the eyes.

“How the fuck did she find him?” I murmured out loud in the empty room. “That little whore!”

I threw my phone against the room and it bounced off the wall.

I grabbed my keys and locked up the house, rage dripping off of me with the realization that my little Madonna had turned into a cheating whore.

If she wasn’t dead by the time I reached that fucking hospital, she’d better pray I’d found some mercy along the way.

Wreck

Beep.

Beep.

Beep.

Beep.

I stood up, pacing around Vanessa’s room again like a caged animal. The sound of the heart monitor mixing with the raspy sound of the breathing tube that was protruding from her mouth was pure torture. She still hadn’t woken up and I was beyond fear at this point. Pure, black terror had taken residence deep inside of me, and I had no idea what to do with myself.

Wait.
That’s what the doctor had said.

Nothing else to do. It’s up to her to fight.

Great words and all, but I wanted to be the one doing the fucking fighting. I wanted to punch death right in its ugly fucking face until it was so far away from this room that it couldn’t get close to her. The fact that I couldn’t do that only served to piss me off even more.

I was helpless.

It should have been me.

I should have gotten to her quicker.

My head was filled with an endless cycle of self-blame and hate and regret, not to mention complete and utter confusion.

Now that we were in the hospital, I’d had some space to think a little. I still had no idea why Vanessa was trying to tell me that she was Frankie. It didn’t make any sense. Frankie was dead, for fuck’s sake, I’d gone to her funeral, been there when her ashes were scattered into the fucking ocean, for god’s sake. There was obviously some mistake, something else she was trying to tell me.

Vanessa was someone else entirely. She didn’t even look like Frankie, she didn’t sound like Frankie - but there was her laugh. I remembered now the way I’d felt when I’d first heard her laugh really loudly. It was unnerving. It gave me chills, it was so similar to Frankie’s. But was that alone enough to convince me that my old dead girlfriend had come back to life?

I was lost.

So fucking lost.

I didn’t know what to think, what to feel, what to even fucking believe.

I shuddered to think what I would do if I were all alone right now. Luckily, I wouldn’t be alone for long. I’d used the hospital phone to call Ryder after we’d arrived, since mine was ruined in the ocean. He’d assured me he and Grace were on their way and I’d never been more grateful for family in my life.

I stared down at Vanessa, studying her face, looking for Frankie in there. But I knew I wouldn’t find what I was looking for. There were no physical similarities that stood out to me. Even her body was different, her curves nothing like the sharp angles of Frankie’s teenaged body. I sighed and turned away.

It was hard to look at her. I couldn’t help but wonder if she was going to pull through.

Stop it! I told myself. Think positive, you asshole.

I walked back over to her and gently put my hand over hers.

“Vanessa, babe, I’m right here, okay? You’re going to pull out of this, you just have to fight,” I whispered, my voice quivering, despite my efforts to sound strong. “We’ll figure everything out, I promise, babe. Just stay strong for me. Stay strong.” I dipped my head to her shoulder, wishing I could just crawl into bed with her and hold her until she woke up.

“Everything’s going to be alright…” I whispered again, trying my damnedest to blink back the tears that threatened to fall down my face.

She didn’t move.

She didn’t respond.

Her body laid there like she wasn’t even in the room with me.

I can’t lose her, I thought, I just fucking can’t go through this shit again!

***

“Wreck!”

I jumped awake and blinked, staring up at Ryder, Grace, Doc, Riot and Slade.

“You’re here!” I jumped up and practically leapt into Ryder’s arms.

“Dude,” he said, pulling me close and patting my back. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m alright, the doctors checked me out.” My chest was burning and I began coughing violently. “I’ll probably be coughing up salt for a few days, but whatever,” I said, when I had regained my breath.

“And her?” he asked, nodding at Vanessa.

“I don’t know, Ryder,” I answered. “I don’t know. We were wading in the ocean and didn’t see the wave coming. It’s all my fucking fault, man!”

“Stop it,” he said, shaking his head as he pulled away. “It’s not your fault! Don’t say that. You wouldn’t have done anything to hurt this girl.”

“I should have moved faster,” I protested, my voice sounding haunted and far-away.

“You did what you could,” he said.

“I’m going to go see if I can find the doctor,” Doc said. “See what they’re doing to treat her.” He walked out of the room, gently closing the door behind him.

“Did anyone see her, you think?” Grace asked.

“I don’t know. It was all a blur…” I replied, my voice trailing off. “I fucked everything up.”

“Stop it, goddammit!” Ryder barked. “The last thing she needs is you feeling sorry for yourself. You gotta fucking buck up and be a man now. She needs that from you.”

“You’re right,” I replied, nodding and taking a deep breath and dissolving into a fit of coughs again.

“So, what happened exactly?” Riot asked, his voice a low whisper.

“I don’t know. It happened so fast,” I began, my voice raspy. “We were wading in the water, talking…”

“That water can’t be more than fifty degrees…”

“Yeah, it was fucking cold, alright, but —,” I stopped, wondering how much I should tell them. But these people were my friends, hell they were more than that. They were the only family I had. If I couldn’t tell them the truth, who could I tell?

“But what?” Ryder asked.

“We were arguing, I guess? I know it sounds bad, but, but - she —,” I hesitated. “Which one of you told her about Frankie?” I finally asked, hoping for some simple explanation.

“Frankie who?” Slade asked.

“Frankie Moretti, my old girlfriend. The one that died.”

“Why would we do that?” Ryder asked.

“I may have mentioned something,” Grace said, “but I didn’t say much at all. Just that you had an old love that you lost, that’s all.”

“Well,” I continued, still in a state of disbelief that I was about to say these words out loud. “—she told me that
she’s
Frankie.”

“What?” Grace asked, narrowing her eyes.

“Yep,” I shook my head. “She said Frankie didn’t die. That
she’s
Frankie.”

“That doesn’t make any sense,” Ryder said, his eyes filled with confusion.

“Tell me about it! But that’s the only Frankie I know,” I shrugged. “Right after she told me, the wave took us out. I didn’t get an explanation from her.”

“What the fuck?” Riot said, shaking his head. “Does she look like her? Wouldn’t you have known?”

“She doesn’t look anything like her,” I answered. “Not at all.”

“How bizarre,” Grace said, staring down at Vanessa. Or Frankie. Or whoever the hell she was. “I guess stranger things have happened, though.”

“Have they?” I asked, “Because I can’t think of anything stranger than this.”

Grace walked over to me and pulled me close for a hug.

“Whatever’s going on, we’ll figure it out, Jesse, don’t worry,” she said.

“Not if she doesn’t wake up,” I replied.

“She’ll wake up, Jesse,” she said. “She’s strong. She’s fighting.”

“I hope you’re right,” I said, my voice thick with emotion, my heart breaking into pieces in my chest. “Because right now nothing makes any sense to me at all.”

“Of course it doesn’t,” Ryder said. “But it will.”

I pulled away from Grace before I dissolved into a puddle of emotion at her feet and sat down in a chair next to Vanessa’s bed.

“It’s her laugh,” I murmured.

“What about it?” Riot asked, walking over to stand near me. He placed his huge warm hand on my shoulder.

“I didn’t want to believe it. Frankie died. I mean, shit, I went to her fucking funeral, you know? But when Vanessa laughs - it’s Frankie’s laugh,” I said, shaking my head.