Wrong For You (Before You Series Book 3) (3 page)

“It seems like there should a better way to capture all three names without sounding so…redundant.”

She raised her eyebrows. “But then each of us wouldn’t get the recognition we deserved. Being a named partner is a big deal.”

“You really believe that?”

“Nope. I don’t care, but it was my mom and dad’s latest carrot to lure me into law school.”

“Are you going to go?” He took a drink of his soda, watching her face from beneath his lashes.

“I don’t know. Being a lawyer is their dream, not mine.”

“And what’s your dream?” He leaned back against the chair, stretching his legs out in front of him and crossing them at his ankles.

“For as long as I can remember, I wanted to make a difference in kids’ lives. At first I thought that meant being a teacher, but then I volunteered at the Foundation as a tutor and I was hooked. I’ve been here for six years, if you include my volunteer work before I graduated from college, but now…” She shrugged. “I don’t know. It’s wearing on me.”

“How?”

“I’m okay if I can’t afford the best clothes, the best car, or other things, but I like to eat and pay my bills and that’s barely feasible anymore.” She bit on her lower lip, her lashes lowered. “I feel like a quitter because these kids have it so much worse than me, but still…”

She looked down without continuing her sentence, but Alec understood what she meant. He was one of those kids who barely had food on the table and lived with an alcoholic mom. If their house hadn’t been paid off with their dad’s insurance policy, he would have spent his childhood on the streets or in foster care. “You aren’t greedy for wanting to have a life.”

Avoiding his gaze, she exhaled loudly, playing with the top button of her white blouse. “Conceptually, I understand that, but sometimes I can’t convince myself and I feel guilty for putting my needs ahead of these kids who have so little. I volunteered at the Foundation because it fulfilled my internship for my social work degree, but after a day, I loved it. I thought I’d found my calling, but now I’m not so sure.”

He leaned across the desk and tipped up her chin so he could see her eyes again. They were innocent and full of life. He hated that she was hiding them from him. “You’re a good person, Violet. Don’t beat yourself up if you decide you need more stability. Everybody deserves stability. There are other ways to help. You don’t need to starve to prove you care.”

“I know.” Moving her chin away from his touch, she smiled, but her eyes were flat and lifeless instead of dancing with humor. She stood up and tossed the rest of her food in the trashcan next to her desk. “I’m going to get ready for the afternoon. The kids will arrive in less than an hour.”

He didn’t want her to leave and that thought screwed with his head. One part of him begged to get to know her and find out what made her sad, happy, and everything in between. The other part of him knew it could never happen. He couldn’t let her or anyone else into his life. It was better that way. He wasn’t good for any other woman, especially one as innocent and good as Violet.

Chapter Five

“Hey, where are you going?” Alec said as Violet came out her front door early Saturday morning, purple backpack strapped around both of her shoulders with double holstered water bottles peeking out of the white mesh pockets on either side.

Violet turned around, a big smile on her clean, makeup-free face, her long blonde hair scraped away from her face in a high ponytail. She wore khaki shorts and a white tank top. Damn, she was beautiful. He’d been avoiding being alone with her as much as possible this past week, trying to bury his attraction to her, but he craved her voice and her smile.

“Where does every self-respecting Montana native go on the weekends during the middle of July?” she asked, raising one of her pale blonde eyebrows.

Now that was one question he couldn’t answer. Growing up, his family was anything but normal. In his house, weekends, regardless of the month, meant trying to weed through the throngs of people passed out on the living room floor and then he spent the afternoon cleaning up beer cans, cups, and, sadly, vomit. He shrugged. “I don’t know.”

She laughed, tilting her head to the side. “Are you sure you’re from Montana? You said you were, but now I’m not so sure.”

“I can assure you I was born and raised here, but I still don’t know where you’re headed. Why don’t you come here and give me a hint?” He crooked his finger, signaling for her to come closer.

She took a couple steps toward him and cocked one of her delicate hips to the side. “I’ll give you four hints—backpack, water bottles, hiking boots, and huckleberry season. Does that jog your memory?”

“Ah. Hiking,” he answered, feeling a smile stretch the corners of his lips. Without even trying, Violet knew how to make him smile.

She laughed, a light, musical sound that complimented her lighthearted, caring personality perfectly. “Yes, hiking.” Her eyes swept his body, starting with his black faded t-shirt, his dark jeans, his black, silver-studded belt, and his heavy leather boots. “I’d ask you to join me, but I don’t think you have the right wardrobe.”

Without thinking, he tugged lightly on the end of her ponytail. Over the past week, he’d been inventing reasons to touch her. He loved the silkiness of her hair and the softness of her baby-skin. “How do you know I don’t have hiking gear?”

She tapped her finger against her mouth; a habit of hers that never failed to draw all of his attention to the sweep of her beautifully sculpted upper lip. “Just a wild guess.”

She was absolutely right. Beyond his standard issue jeans and dark t-shirts, he didn’t have many other clothes with him. He forgot to have his manager send any workout clothes, which made him even more claustrophobic and angst-ridden than usual. In LA, he ran nearly every day. He loved the feeling of the endorphins flooding his veins at the exact moment that he didn’t think he could take one more stride. Peace—that was the only word he could use to describe the feeling. Except when he played the drums, running was the only other time his mind was free from the toxic thoughts constantly circulating like a broken record through his mind. Even on tour, he never missed his daily run. “Well, you’d be right. Do you think I could hike in this?” Right now, he craved exercise, and while he wasn’t the most social guy in the world, moving like a ghost between the Foundation and Violet’s basement apartment made him feel like a hamster going in circles.

She shook her head. “No, but you’re about my brother’s size. I think I can find something that will fit you.”

“Are you sure?”

“He’ll never miss it. He has more hiking shorts and shoes than a small sporting goods store. Let me grab a pair of shorts. I think your boots and t-shirt will work.”

“I don’t know.” He didn’t feel right borrowing a stranger’s clothes, but being outside under the warm Montana sun sounded like the escape he needed from his repetitive days. Even though he grew up in Montana, he had never picked huckleberries. That was way too functional for his family.

She poked a finger into the center of his chest. “Don’t make me go hiking by myself. What if I got lost or encountered a bear or two? I don’t want something like that weighing on your conscience.”

It would just be one of many, he thought cynically. “All right. I wouldn’t want to find out you became bear food.”

Thirty minutes later, Alec found himself outside of Missoula walking along a dirt trail, listening to the rustling of the wind through the trees and branches snapping under the weight of his feet. Part of him missed the sound of the cars buzzing by as he ran through the streets of his neighborhood outside of LA. It drowned out all the thoughts taunting him, but he had to admit it definitely smelled better here.

“Do you come here a lot?” he asked, glancing briefly at Violet.

“In the summer. My mom used to take my brother and me hiking here every Saturday morning in the summer when we were kids. It’s become a habit for my brother and me. He’s not in town very often, so I end up going by myself a lot. My best friend, Annette, hates hiking.”

Alec nodded, looking away. His gut twisted. As a kid, he would have done anything for a moment of normalcy. Even before the car crash, his parents didn’t have the most functional relationship. It was a rollercoaster of highs and lows marked by a lot of drama, crying, and yelling, but all of that paled in comparison to the shit that happened afterwards.

“So where do you find the huckleberries?”

Violet stopped walking. “Tell me you aren’t serious.”

“What?” he said, holding his hands, palm up, in front of his body.

“You haven’t picked huckleberries before. Is that what you’re trying to tell me?”

“Honestly, I haven’t.” He chuckled. “My family didn’t do the outdoor thing.”

“What did your family do?”

He sucked his lip ring into his mouth. “Nothing functional, and by functional, I mean family outings, hiking, trips, or family dinners.” He started walking again, hoping that she’d stop questioning him about his family. After a minute, he heard her footsteps crunching against the gravel on the trail behind him and he exhaled, knowing her questioning had ended.

“There’s a steep incline along the side of the trail just around the next turn. The huckleberry bushes will be there.”

He looked at her over his shoulder. “Do you have something to put them in?”

“No. Most of the time, I just pick what I can eat.” She laughed. “My brother and I ate so many one time when we were kids, we got sick and could hardly make it back to the car. My parents were so mad. While they ate lunch near a waterfall, we wandered down the trail and ate as many as we could in an hour. When they found us, our hands and faces were stained purple and sticky. Twenty minutes into the hike back to the car, we could hardly walk because our stomachs were cramping.”

“Is that your way of warning me not to overindulge?”

“Hey, do what you want. It’s your stomach.”

“Did you pack anything else for us to eat?” he asked, patting her backpack lightly.

“Nope. Not a single thing. It’s only a three hour hike.”

“Well, I’ll have to take my chances because I skipped breakfast.”

“Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

“I hereby absolve you of all blame from any stomach problems I may or may not encounter as a result of overindulging. I haven’t had huckleberries since I was a kid so I can’t promise anything.”

Violet pointed up the hill on the side of the trail. “Here they are.”

Alec scanned the tangled bushes dotted with petite, almost black berries.

“Eat away,” she said as she stepped around him and climbed up the hill.

His eyes skated over her body as he followed her up the hill. Her long, toned legs sucked him in and he had a hard time concentrating on anything except what it’d feel like to slide his hands along their silky length. He groaned inwardly. He couldn’t spend any more time pining over her. They could never be together.

When they reached the top, they stopped at the same bush and he started popping the berries into his mouth one by one. They tasted similar to a blueberry, but a little sweeter. “I forgot how good these are.”

“These ones are perfect, not too red, not too bitter,” she said as she dropped a few into her mouth.

She closed her eyes, a faint smile on her lips as she savored each berry, rolling it around in her mouth before she swallowed. Watching her was more entertaining than eating, so he leaned back against a tall pine tree and folded his arms across his chest, his eyes devouring her. “It’s so quiet out here. I’m used to all the traffic and people in LA. It’s strange how the absence of noise almost has its own sound,” he said when she finally looked at him.

She nodded. “That’s why I hike here. I hardly ever run into anyone. It gives me time to think without any distractions.” She dumped a handful of berries into her mouth, letting out a soft moan as they exploded on her tongue. “Are you done already? I thought you were hungry,” she said as she wiped her mouth self-consciously with the back of her hand. “You’re making me feel uncomfortable stuffing my face.”

He laughed. “Just watching you and taking in the scenery.” She frowned slightly and then shook her head like he was a complex riddle she didn’t understand. That was fine because he didn’t understand himself most of the time, especially when he was around Violet. She was definitely getting under his skin, making him want more than he knew he should for too many reasons to name.

“Okay. I’d hate to let these berries go to waste. They’ll be gone next weekend.” She slid the straps of her backpack off her shoulders, set it on the ground and unzipped the front section.

“What are you looking for?” he asked sliding his back down the rough bark of tree to sit on the ground.

“I think I have a few plastic bags in here.” She pushed her sunglasses on top of her head.

“What do you need those for?”

“With one or two small bags, I could make huckleberry muffins for the kids at the Foundation and bring them in on Monday. I might even have enough for my personal favorite—huckleberries pancakes.”

“For the kids?”

“Muffins for the kids, pancakes for me.” She pulled out a bag and held it up for him to see. “I found one.”

“Save a few muffins for me,” he said, tilting his head toward the sky, letting the warm mountain sun soak into his skin.

“Catch,” she said, tossing one empty bag at him. “You fill that one and I’ll fill this one. The bushes are so full we’ll be done in twenty minutes.”

Reluctantly, he stood up and brushed the dirt off the back of his shorts. “Who said I wanted to help?” He didn’t mind helping. In fact, he wouldn’t mind helping her bake the muffins, but he kind of liked his view of her legs from where he sat. Without question, she had the most striking legs he had ever seen—long, not too skinny, and just the right amount of muscle that told him she hiked and exercised on a regular basis, but not so much that her legs had that over-muscled, trying too hard appearance. Then there was her hair. His fingers itched to get  all tangled up in her pale silky strands. He loved the way her hair brushed the side of her face as it danced in the mountain breeze.

Pausing, she looked over at him. “You volunteered to help at the Foundation for a month and I need your help picking these berries, so get going. I have plans this afternoon so I can’t be out here all day.”

“I didn’t know volunteering meant you could boss me around for the entire month whether I’m at the Foundation or not.” He tossed a handful of berries into the bag, along with a couple shiny green leaves.

“Hey,” she said, dipping her hand into the bag and tossing the leaves onto the ground. “Just the berries, not the entire bush.”

“Sorry, Miss Emerson.” He flashed her a properly contrite smile. “What are these big afternoon plans that you’re so worried about?”

She didn’t look at him as she continued to pluck the berries from the bush. “Are you prying into my personal life?”

If Alec still had the ability to blush, he would have. Shamelessly prying or even caring enough to pry wasn’t his thing. What she did during her free time wasn’t his business, but he hated the idea that she might have a date, or even worse, a boyfriend. It shouldn’t matter, but his mind had other ideas and it suddenly became imperative to know more about the woman who fascinated him more than he wanted to admit. “Not prying, just making conversation.”

She sealed her plastic bag and dropped it into her backpack. “I’m tutoring.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. I tutor Dean every other Saturday.”

At his blank look, she added, “He’s one of the kids from the Foundation.” She cocked her head to the side. “Have you met any of the kids yet?”

“No.” And if it were up to him, he wouldn’t. At first he wanted to introduce the kids at the Foundation to music like one of the counselors had done for him as a teenager, but now that he had woven so many half-truths about his job and his life, he couldn’t risk any of the kids recognizing him.

“Do you want to?”

“I think I’ll stick to fundraising,” he prevaricated.

“Dean’s a good kid, really smart. He’s fallen behind school, but that only because his mom works the nightshift and he ends up taking care of his sister most of the time.” She pulled her water bottle out of her backpack and took a long sip. A few drops slid down her lips to her chin. “Do you want some?”