Xone Of Contention (17 page)

The girl's mouth dropped open in surprise. “Really?”

“Really. You always know what he means to say, and that really helps him.”

“Well, he says I help, so as not to hurt my childish feelings. But centaurs are way too smart to associate long with dull kids like me.”

Breanna seemed to be digesting an internal thought. “Intelligence isn't always what you think. Ask him.”

Heather looked at Shaunture. He nodded. “Oh. Shaunture.” she cried “I'd love to stay with you! I know you'll never chomp me.”

The centaur looked at Breanna. “I must speak again after all. I am grapefruit for—” He became a huge grapefruit.

“Grateful!” Heather cried joyously, perched on the top. “For her insight.”

The centaur resumed his natural form. He spat out a grapefruit seed and shut his mouth firmly.

Para moved on. “I like your boat.” Heather called after them. Para made a dip of appreciation without breaking stride.

“That centaur reminds me of someone.” Pia remarked.

“Demoness Metria.” Justin replied.

There was a swirl of smoke. “Oh, no.” Breanna muttered.

The smoke formed a mouth. “Did someone mention my name?”

“It was an accident,” Breanna said.

The smoke coalesced into a lovely buxom form, bound by an elastic halter stretching almost to the snapping point. “And you found the foul footed boat.”

Para quivered with indignation.

“What kind of foot?” Edsel asked quickly.

“Avis, feathered, game, bird, domestic—”

“Fowl?”

“Whatever,” the demoness agreed crossly.

The boat relaxed.

“I'm sure the children will love to ride in it,” Metria said. “Thank you so much for offering.” She formed back into smoke.

“We didn't—” Breanna started, but of course it was too late. The smoke formed into Demon Ted and DeMonica. They were stuck for another round of babysitting.

“Maybe the two of them will one day grow up and marry each other,” Pia muttered. “And the stork will bring them children they have to baby-sit.”

“Named Tedmon and Monled,” Breanna agreed. “And there'll be no Mundanes visiting who are foolish enough to do it.”

“Whose menfolk are dazzled into volunteering,” Pia said. They both laughed. “Actually the children aren't all that bad. and the dazzlcability of the menfolk make them more readily handleable ”

“For sure.”

Justin turned his head to exchange a glance with Edsel. The girls were having their bit of fun.

They departed from the river at a slight angle, so as to avoid the colored people. Soon they came to a boy who stood by the side of the path they were following, with his right thumb lifted.

“Same to you, jerk!” Ted called.

“Shush, that's a Mundane!” Pia exclaimed “Hitchhiking.”

“We do have room for another passenger,” Justin said.

“First things first.” Pia cupped her hands and called to the boy. “What's your name!”

“Gabriel,” the boy called back.

“So he's not one of the colored people,” Pia said. “He can ride with us.”

“What's wrong with colored people?” Monica asked.

“Nothing,” Edsel said, forestalling trouble

The boat stopped, and the boy climbed in. “Do you know a safe way to the snowy mountains?” Pia asked him

“Oh, sure. Right the way you're going now. But you don't want to go all the way there. They're cold.”

“We'll chance it.” Pia said, and resumed her private dialogue with Justin. She had tuned him out, as was her custom with folk she had no immediate interest in.

So Edsel and Breanna took up the slack, lest the children do it. “What are you doing in Xanth, Gabriel?” Breanna asked. “Because you're obviously Mundane.”

“I guess it does show.” Gabriel said, abashed. “I'd like to live in Xanth. I made a deal. I can visit Xanth for a week. I can stay here if I can find a family to adopt me or a girl to marry me. Otherwise I must return forever to drear Mundania.”

“How old are you?” Breanna asked.

“Fourteen.”

“That's what I thought. You're younger than I am, and so you are still mired in the Adult Conspiracy. You can't marry a Xanth girl.”

“I could marry one who is eighteen or over.” Gabriel said. “If she wanted to. If she didn't break the Conspiracy.”

Both children perked up. evidently intrigued by the prospect of breaking the Adult Conspiracy.

“But you already know all that stuff, don't you?” Breanna asked.

“Sure. But in Xanth—”

“I know. And you'd rather put up with that, than go back to Mundania.”

“Yeah. Do you think I have a chance?”

“To find a girl, no. To find a family, maybe.” Then Breanna brightened. “Does it have to be any special kind of girl?”

“I don't think so.”

“How about a nymph?”

Gabriel smiled. “I'd love a nymph But she'd break the Conspiracy in the first five seconds.”

The children squealed with laughter. Ted grabbed Monica, and she flung her hair around and kicked her feet up in a parody of a nymph.

“For sure.” Breanna agreed ruefully. “Bad idea. But maybe there'll be a family.”

“Maybe.” he agreed hopefully.

There was a fairly sharp turn in the path. Para, traveling rapidly, was off-balanced by the extra weight, and his side scraped against a sad looking tree. It emitted a sighing sound.

“What was that?” Edsel asked as they moved on.

“A sigh-press tree,” Justin called back. “They sigh when pressed.”

Now they came to another person. It was a somewhat portly woman. “Are you looking for a ride? ” Pia called.

“I'm looking for a lake.” the woman replied.

“There's a lake on the river not far ahead,” Gabriel said.

“How do you know?” Edsel asked.

“Because I saw fire ants near a fire, and earth ants near earth, and air ants near air. I saw water ants here, so there must be water near.”

Edsel nodded. “That works for me.”

“Then get in and we'll take you there.” Pia said to the woman. “Para could use a swim.”

“A swim!” Ted cried, clapping his little hands. Monica's dress became a two piece swimsuit.

The woman climbed in. and there were introductions. She turned out to be Alexandra.

“What's your talent?” Breanna asked.

“I'm a were-dolphin.”

“I never heard of that!”

“I think I'm the only one. I've been searching out stray lakes, hoping to find another of my kind, so far without success.”

“Why do you want another of your kind?” Gabriel asked

“I'm lonely. I don't like swimming alone.”

“But you don't need another of your kind just for company,” Breanna said.

“I think I do. Who else would want to stay with someone who's half in and out of the water'”

“I would.” Gabriel said.

Alexandra looked at him. “You look young and wild. Surely you wouldn't want to settle down to a dull lakeside life.”

“Life would never be dull, in Xanth.”

“Not if we kept you company,” Ted said.

“We're younger and wilder,” Monica agreed.

Edsel exchanged a glance with Breanna. “Would you consider marrying a boy without violating the Adult Conspiracy?”

Alexandra considered. “That depends on how good company he was.”

“Why don't you talk with Gabriel, here?” Edsel suggested.

The two half demon children lost interest, and peered out of the boat.

“I could be great company. I think.” Gabriel said. “If that meant I could stay in Xanth.”

The two started a dialog, sitting in the center of the boat. Edsel, as a matter of courtesy, tuned them out. “There seem to be a number of interesting people in Xanth.” he remarked to Breanna.

“Every person is interesting, when you get to know him,” she said. “I'd like to meet every person in Xanth. But there are too many.”

Surely so. “What do you think we'll find at the mountains?”

“Melting snow. I've wondered how there can be such a cold place in warm Xanth.”

“Well, it's because the temperature drops with elevation.”

“That's in Mundania. Here in Xanth you can fly way above the mountains, and not be cold. I've been up there. So there must be magic.”

He realized she was right. Xanth did not follow Mundane rules. “What kind of magic?”

“Well, once I met two brothers. One could turn himself into ice The other could turn anything else to ice. Maybe those brothers live in the mountains.”

“Maybe so.” he agreed. That seemed just crazy enough to suit this magic land. “But you know, there seems to be an awful lot of fortunate coincidence in Xanth. Like the way certain people meet.” Without moving his head, he flicked his eyes in the direction of the youth and the woman in the center of the boat.

“For sure I've thought about that. I think maybe the Land of Xanth is female, so she does nice things for her people.”

“But the Demon X(A/N)th is male.”

“Yes, mostly. Actually demons are any gender they want to be. But the Demon is not the Land. The Land is more like his daughter.”

Edsel nodded. “Now that makes sense. Maybe that's why marriages last forever in Xanth.”

“For sure. It you could arrange to stay in Xanth with Pia—”

“I don't think so. We have obligations in Mundania, and these are borrowed bodies. But sometimes it rubs off on people. Dug and Kim are just as much together now as they ever were, and they don't spend much time in Xanth.”

“Maybe they drank some love elixir.”

“If that's magic, it shouldn't work in Mundania.” She nodded.

“Maybe not. Still, it might be worth trying. If we pass love spring, you might save some of its elixir, and try it on her. I hear that diluted love elixir and a finder spell can enable a person to find her true love.”

They came to the lake. “Oh, wonderful!” Alexandra exclaimed. “I'm so dry.” She jumped out of the boat, ran to the water, and dived in. As she struck the water her clothing disappeared and her body became roughly fishlike. She had assumed her dolphin aspect.

Gabriel ran after her. “I love to swim,” he said.

"But there might be sharks or serpents in that water,” Breanna warned him.

“They won't bother me,“ he said, pausing at the edge to rip off his clothing. ”Not with a dolphin friend protecting me."

“He's got a point.” Breanna said.

“You're not supposed to look.” Edsel said, smiling.

“I meant—” She paused. “Oh, you're doing it again. You rogue.”

Para moved to the lake, and into it without pause. Now there were three of them swimming: dolphin, boy, and boat.

“Our turn!” Ted said. He was now in trunks, and Monica had a shower cap.

“No, wait,” Breanna said sharply. To Edsel's surprise, they obeyed.

“There's a shark!” Pia cried. She was especially nervous about them, since one had snapped at her hand.

Then the sleek dolphin circled, intercepting the shark before it could reach the boy. The shark veered away, it knew better than to tangle with such a foe.

“Isn't she great?” Gabriel called. “What a creature!”

“I think this is going to work out,” Breanna said “you can swim,“ Breanna told the children. Even as she spoke they were leaping off the side, making small cannonball splashes. ”But not close to the boat."

Para paddled joyfully around, then moved back toward land. A centaur stood there.

“Hello,” Justin called as they walked out on land “Are you the centaur Magician?”

“I am,” the centaur replied. “My name is Rempel, My talent is to know the talents of others.”

“I thought all centaurs had names with CH sounds.” Edsel said.

“That is the custom, not the rule,” Rempel said. “We who are outside the norm do not necessarily follow it.”

“Outside the norm?”

“Conventional centaurs do not have magic talents.” he said. “Let alone strong ones.”

“They consider personal magic obscene,” Breanna murmured. Something moved through the grass. “What's a shark doing on land?” Pia cried, alarmed.

Rempel looked. “Those are a variety of shark called skates,” he said. “They are harmless to ordinary folk, unless stepped on.”

Now Edsel saw that the creatures were forming hoops and rolling along the ground. “Skates?” he asked.

“Roller skates.” He should have guessed.

The boat halted by some sweet smelling rose bushes The roses were all colors. Breanna had hauled the children in; now she got out and went to smell a brown one—and suddenly floated into the air above it. There was a shrill of laughter from Ted and Monica.

“Beware,” Rempel said “Those roses have the talent of levitating things their own color.”

Edsel went and caught Breanna's flailing arm. He drew her away from the rose, and she fell back to the ground. “I'm getting in trouble, lust like a Mundane.” she muttered. “Maybe it's contagious.” Edsel said.

Breanna looked around. “What's that? It doesn't look quite like a centaur.”

Edsel recognized the creature immediately, but decided not to speak.

Rempel smiled “Indeed, it is not. That's Ally, short for B B Allusion, a chestnut copper marc, just visiting.” When Breanna still looked blank, he said “A horse. A member of one of my ancestral species.”

“Oh.” Breanna said, embarrassed. “Like a night mare. only less magical.”

“For sure.” Edsel agreed

Rempel suddenly galloped to the edge of the lake. “Away! Away!” he cried, splashing the water with his forehoofs.

Edsel and Breanna walked across to see what was going on. There was only a rather blobby sea creature feeding on what looked like weeds at the edge.

“This is Hugh.“ Rempel said. ”He is a manatee. Sometimes the sharks come after him. Then I have to drive them off."

“Awww,” Ted said. His sympathy was for the sharks.

“To save Hugh Manatee,” Edsel said.

“Precisely.” Then the centaur paused thoughtfully, glancing at Edsel.

“He does that.” Breanna said. “At least it bypassed the children.”

Alexandra and Gabriel emerged from the lake. She changed to clothed human form in one motion; clothes seemed to be part of her magic. Thus she wasn't violating the Adult Conspiracy by showing him any panties. Gabriel had to clothe himself the ordinary way, but since Alexandra was of age, it didn't matter what she saw.

They walked toward Edsel, Breanna, and Rempel. “I'm going to have sore muscles,” Gabriel said. “I haven’t swum like that in a long time.”