Years of Summer: Lily's Story (2 page)

If I could just get rid of the memories, I would be fine, right?

Lying on my bed crying over what had just taken place on the quad between me and Jace, Dave and Chance, kept bringing the memories back.  I was tired of the memories.  My head was reeling.  I have never felt so much hate, towards one person, in my life. He was still trying to ruin whatever I had left, because he had not won this battle. That made him angry.  He never lost, and losing, he believed, was out of his league.  He was that arrogant. 

Chelsea pulled me up off my pillow and hugged me to her.  Everything had been going on for too long, since January, and it was March. I was so ready for it to be over.  It seemed like new things kept creeping up though.  It wouldn’t leave me alone because Chance wouldn’t leave me alone. 

The phone rang.  Chelsea went to answer it.  “Hey Jace . . . well I don’t know . . . okay I’ll ask her.”  She put her fingers over the speaker of the phone.  “Hey Lil, Jace is in the lobby.  He wants to know if he can come back here and talk to you.  He sounds really upset.  Dave is with him too.  They both want to talk to you.”

Well, what did I have to lose, it seemed like everything was public knowledge now anyway.  I felt like the whole campus knew.   The memory of that night made its way to the surface.

* * * * * * *

. . . Chance lured me out of my room one night by turning on the charm and saying he just wanted to talk to me about something.  I was wary of him even though we were still engaged at that time.  He had been trying—trying to make me give in.  His only reasoning was, ‘we’re getting married anyway’.  I kept refusing.  The first time I refused was the first time he ever hit me, but I didn’t end it then, should have, but didn’t.  He was trying to get me to take a walk with him, which should not have been any big deal, but I just didn’t really want to walk with him for some reason. Majorly bad vibes I guess, because something was just not right. I told him I would rather go to his dorm or back to mine. 

We went back to his dorm—that made him angry—as he tried to get me to give in again, and my refusal sent him over the edge. He had this vicious bite to his tone.  “You don’t get it, do you? No one ever tells me no, I get what I want and I want you.”  That is when he shoved me down, and struggle as I might—he had me pinned down on his bed.  He didn’t care about how much I pleaded with him to stop. I knew then he never really loved me. The ring was just an ownership symbol.  He attacked me in his dorm room and knocked me around a couple of times. I struggled against him as I tried to fight him off. Had Dave not walked in when he did I am sure it would have been much worse. 

Luckily though, Dave did walk in, and caught Chance holding me at knifepoint where I was. He yelled at Dave to get out and Dave wouldn’t move. Dave yelled at Chance to let me go. He wouldn't fight Chance because he was afraid Chance would hurt me. 

It distracted Chance just enough. Chance let go of me, but not because of Dave’s request. He threw the knife he had at my throat, at Dave. It stuck in the bulletin board behind Dave's head. 

I couldn’t tell you whether he was trying to kill him or not.  The state I was in at that moment was something I had never felt before.  All out panic ensued and I ran out of his room and across the quad, not stopping until I was locked in my own dorm room. 

I didn’t know what he was going to do to Dave.  I hoped Chance didn’t hurt him; I hoped Dave hurt Chance, but I just wanted as far away as I could go.  I was concerned about Dave, but my fear overshadowed everything else at that time.

Chelsea came in to seeing me curled up in a ball in the corner of my bed that night, she seemed very relieved.  I had pressed myself up against the wall, mascara streaked down my face from all the tears, and the bruises that he had made on my cheek, my throat, and my arm were beginning to turn colors.  That’s when she had to put me back together piece by broken piece.

. . . Those memories brought about more tears.  I still couldn’t believe I had trusted Chance.  I have never felt such hate for another human being.  I was relieved though, the next day I saw Dave in class, seemingly unscathed. 

* * * * * * *

Chelsea was staring at me.  She snapped her fingers in front of my face.  “Earth to Lily.”  I pulled myself out of my nightmare and turned my attention to her.

“Oh, sorry Chels, what?” 

“Lily, is it okay for me to go get Jace and Dave?”

I nodded my head. She finished the conversation. “Okay, I’ll be down in a minute.”  Then she hung up the phone.

She looked at me. “Lily, at least go clean your face up. You don’t want Jace to see you like this.”

“Chelsea, why should I care how Jace sees me?”

“Then do it for me, please?”

“Fine, I’ll go clean my face.”  I stared at myself in the mirror and although the bruises were gone, the scars he had left behind were still there.

I went into the suite room; it was a sink in between two dorm rooms.  Four girls shared it.  By the time I came out of the suite room, Jace and Dave were walking in behind Chelsea.  I walked over to my bed and sat down on it and pulled a pillow into my lap. Jace sat in my desk chair and Dave sat in Chelsea’s.

Dave opened the conversation.  “Lily, first let me say I am sorry.  I should have been up front with you to begin with.  I didn’t just see what I saw when I walked into the room that night.  I heard you pleading with him while I was out in the hall.  I almost walked right by the room and then I heard the terror in your voice and I knew I had to stop whatever was about to happen.”  I watched Jace wince as Dave said that. 
What did he care?

“Well, I should thank you for that, because if you hadn’t walked in when you did . . . let’s just say that it would have been a very bad situation.  But why did you tell everyone else before you said anything to me?”

“Because, well, I didn’t think you wanted anyone else to know, but I also didn’t want our fraternity to be associated with the likes of him.  I wrestled with whether or not to tell anyone else for weeks, but I decided someone needed to be told.  They were all wondering why I moved out of Chance’s room anyway. So since I had moved in with Jace when his other roommate moved out, I felt like he deserved a reason, so that’s when I told Jace. He told everyone else at our meeting the next week.  That is when we black-balled Chance.”

“I see.”  I looked at Jace then.  “Is that why at least one of your fraternity brothers has somehow walked with me anywhere I went?”

He smiled so warmly at me.  “Lily, I wanted you to be safe; Dave did too.  That’s all and I apologize for the incident this afternoon.  Can you forgive us?”

I couldn’t help but smile back and the anger I had felt toward both of them dissolved in that instant.  I should have clued in then, but I didn’t.  “Hmm, can I forgive you for wanting me to be safe?  I don’t know; that’s a tall order.” 

Jace laughed; I liked the way he laughed.  I hadn’t heard him laugh much, but it was a warm, jovial laugh.  His eyes were such a warm shade of gray I had never seen before.  They reminded me of wispy clouds in a sunny summer sky and when he laughed they almost had a purple cast to them, but when he came in they had a gray cast to them, like he was upset about something, and he was, but I didn’t know a person’s eyes could show their mood that intensely.  He was genuine.  I couldn’t help but forgive them and as angry as I was with them that afternoon all of that kind of went away.  Dave just kind of smiled in a defeated way.

I never understood that, not then.

Jace was looking in my eyes as I was looking at his, but I didn’t realize that until he remarked to me about my eyes.  “Lily, you have really pretty hazel eyes.”  I blinked myself back to reality, semi-embarrassed.

“Thank you.” That is all I could say. I looked quickly back down at my pillow, following the stripes with my finger.  

Chelsea walked them back out and came back into our room with a grin a mile wide across her face.  “Oooo, Jace likes you.”

“Oh please, Chelsea, he is just a very chivalrous southern gentleman and would do anything to help anyone.”

She blinked very intentionally and used her Southern Belle accent. “Especially a damsel in distress, chivalry is not dead ma’am.”  I walked over and shoved her onto her bed and we both laughed.  It felt good to laugh again.  Something had changed, I just didn’t know how much.  I
really
didn’t know how much.

Chapter 2

The next day as Chelsea and I got ready for class we decided to eat in the Cafeteria for breakfast.  We both had English first class that morning—so did Jace, Dave, Ty, and Chance.  We were all in the same class. 

Chance walked in and saw me, I ignored him. Right after he walked in, Jace, Dave, and Ty came in. All three of them saw Chance heading towards me. My breath caught in my throat, then. Jace, Dave, and Ty immediately brought their backpacks and set them down on the table with us.  Chance made a b-line for the other side of the cafeteria.

Jace winked at me, Chelsea elbowed me and whispered in my ear, "Told you so." A few minutes later the guys brought their breakfast trays and came and joined us. Then Tuck (short for Tucker), who was Ty’s roommate (Tucker and Ty, T-squared) came in shortly afterwards and joined our table. Tuck had English with us too. Jace sat next to me and Ty sat next to Chelsea.  Dave sat on the other side of Jace, and Tuck on the other side of Ty.  Something occurred to me at that moment, even though he had said it yesterday. 

“Dave, did you say you were rooming with Jace now?”

“Yeah, moved in a couple of weeks after the beginning of the semester, why?”

“Nothing, just a confirmation.”  Something else then occurred to me.  Someone was not telling me the truth.

Jace looked at me confused.  “Did you hear
anything
we said yesterday?”

I looked down at the table, feeling self-conscious.  “Yes, I just had something on my mind right before you two came in yesterday, kind of made everything else get a little blurred in the conversation.  Sorry.”

Chelsea kicked me under the table.  I looked at her questioningly.  She kept moving her eyes from me to Jace to get me to see “I told you so”.  I kicked her back and gave her a diminutive shaking of my head, signaling “No way”.  Jace was never one to have a steady girlfriend; he had many girlfriends, but never a steady one.  I looked down at my watch.

“Uh-oh, guys, we are about to be late.”  Everyone looked at their watches; cell-phones weren’t that popular yet.  We all jumped up quickly and took our trays up and then headed for class.  We made it just in time.

I took my normal seat, although we didn’t have assigned seats, I always sat in the same one and Chelsea sat behind me.  Jace sat in front of me, and Dave and Ty sat on either side of me.  Tuck sat in front of Ty.  Where Ty was sitting, Chance normally sat.  That made Chance angry.  He had to find another one.  I smiled.  Chance was losing!

He didn’t give up though. 

* * * * * * *

Jace all of a sudden started spending a lot of time with me.  I didn’t understand why, but I enjoyed the company.  I still had a lot to work through though.  He knew that; I guess that is why he kept it on a friendly level.  Later that day after my classes were over and Jace and I went our separate ways, I decided to venture out to the quad again, because it was another beautiful day.  The only difference this time would be staying closer to people. I hoped that would keep Chance away—
yeah right
. 

Chance was losing, he didn’t like to lose.  I should have known he was going to fight to the end.  Of course that day he took a different approach.  He was not his usual mean and hateful self.  He was his manipulative self. 

This time I did decide to read the book I brought with me.  I was reading
Gone with the Wind. 
I allowed that book to take me out of my world for a moment and let it pull me into the world of true Southern Gentlemen.  I was reminded of Jace—my Southern Gentleman friend, with a bouncer’s edge.  I laughed at that thought, because of the picture it created in my head.

“Hey Lil, something funny?”  I froze as I pulled my gaze from my book and Chance was standing in front of me.  He kneeled down to me and I scooted back on my blanket quickly, but not wanting to make a scene.

  “Why can’t you leave me alone?”  I said quietly, menacingly.  He sat down on my blanket, uninvited.  “Are you disappointed you didn’t get the chance to
kill
me?”

He turned on the charm—it made me sick.  “Aw, Lil, baby don’t be that way.”

“Quit calling me Lil, that is only reserved for my friends, and I am not your baby.”

“Lily (at least he listened to that much), I want you back.  Please give me another chance.  He pulled the box with my ring in it out of his pocket. Please will you put your ring back on?  I love you.”

I felt the tears coming up hot in my eyes as I filled with anger.  At one time that might have worked, as stupid as that might sound.  This time it didn’t.  As I fought back the tears it made me angrier. “If you loved me, you would have never physically hurt me. We are through, Chance.”