You Are the Reason (22 page)

It didn’t cheer him up. “But now I know you lied to me, so next time, I’ll think I have five extra minutes and that I won’t need to hurry.”

I pulled Lee outside, still only in his socks, and waved to Charlotte as we walked past. “In that case, I won’t lie to you again. I will tell you the correct time.” I opened the car door and waved him inside with the most gallant bow I could summon.

“Really?” Lee asked as he scrambled in.

“Yes. Really.” I slammed the door and walked around to the driver’s side.

There was a considering look on his face. He stared at me as I got in the car. I started the engine and chucked her in reverse.

“Really?” he asked again, this time in a disbelieving tone.

I tried to keep the smile off my face but didn’t succeed. “Well, maybe. But you’ll never know when I’m lying and when I’m not. So therefore don’t ever think that you have five more minutes when I’m on my way to pick you up.”

“Ha,” he burst out. “I knew it.”

We got onto Canning Highway. Then I said, “Or you can think of it like this. Perhaps we only have a finite amount of minutes, each time we go out together. You being late at the beginning of the date means we need to cut short the end of the date.” I waited a heartbeat and then I reminded him. “And the end of the date is usually when the fucking occurs.”

“Shit, no” was the response I got, even though I knew Lee would be late the next time. I was beginning to know him. And lateness was his forte.

He slipped his shoes on, tied the laces, and said, overly casually, “Oh, and by the way? Sydney’s playing West Coast tonight, so there’s going to be no arguments about what channel the TV’s on, okay?”

I groaned in an exaggerated manner. “Oh, no. Are you one of those fans who thinks they know better than the coach
and
the umpires? You don’t scream at the TV do you?”

He laughed. “Of course not. I don’t
think
I know better, I
know
I know better. And the screaming will be kept to a minimum tonight because of Maxine. Unless it’s a close game. If it’s a close game, all bets and promises are off.”

I had to push my tongue to the top of my mouth to keep in the frustration. It was true I was a Melbourne fan, but if one of the teams wasn’t mine, then I would go for the Western Australian team over Sydney.

“Don’t worry,” Lee soothed me with a mocking tone. “It might show you what it feels like to win, because I don’t think you’ve known that feeling for a while this season.”

“If my hands weren’t on the steering wheel,” I growled in a teasing manner, “then they would be around your neck.”

The tinkle of laughter from the other side of the car was Lee all right—but the
other
Lee. The first Lee I’d first met at The Tav. The Lee who had initially teased me about my football team. The Lee who wore a dress and flirted madly. The Lee I’d liked, and in a way missed, because she could be a lot of fun.

Patrick and Jake were ready and nervously waiting for us. I remembered, with only a teeny bit of pride, that this was the first time Jake had knowingly left Maxine for an extended time. Maxine’s uncle Dave had been given the honor—and responsibility—of keeping her safe for approximately five hours while
both
of her daddies were out of the house.

Jake was the superorganized, first-time parent, with his lists and emergency numbers for all the things that could possibly go wrong.

“Here’s my mobile number, Patrick’s mobile number, and the number of the university where we’ll be. I’ve also jotted down Stuart’s number and Gareth’s number—they’ll be with us at the dinner. So, if there’s something that goes wrong, and we don’t answer, you can try them.” I bit my tongue and promised myself that I would remind Jake of this episode later.

In a few years when he wasn’t so anxious.

The list had more numbers on it, and I tried to keep my eyes from glazing over as he pointed them out. “This is my sister Ellie’s mobile number, landline, and her boyfriend’s number. If you can’t reach me, maybe she can help. Now these are the numbers for the ambulance, for the twenty-four-hour healthcare line, and the locum service for the area. Use them if you need them.”

I looked at the numbers he’d written down and couldn’t keep quiet any longer. “For God’s sake, Jake. Of course, I know I need to ring triple zero for an ambulance. Where do you think I’ve been hiding for the last twenty-five years?”

Jake didn’t calm. He only picked up a pen and made a star next to the number. “It’s just in case.”

I sighed. “Don’t stress it, mate. I’ve got Lee with me. He’ll do all the right things. If Maxine needs an emergency tooth extraction, he’s your man.”

Jake didn’t laugh. It wasn’t a good sign.

Patrick came over and put his hand on Jake’s shoulder. “Davo’s got this, Jake. C’mon. I don’t want to be late. You know how hard I find it to walk through a crowd.”

I could see that Jake was torn between double-checking that I knew how to manage an emergency and attending to the needs of his blind partner. Then he stopped as he obviously remembered something.

“The car seat,” he cried and spun around. “Just in case they need to take Maxine anywhere, I’ll put the car seat in your car.”

I pinched myself hard on my thigh, trying to refrain from laughing. “I’ve brought the van, Jake. It doesn’t take a car seat. Besides, we’re not going anywhere. If there’s a big emergency, we’ll phone the ambulance. We’re just going to stay here and have a drink and watch the football.”

Jake’s face went pale. “You shouldn’t be drinking alcohol while you’re babysitting. You need to be alert to possible dangers.”

Behind Jake I saw Patrick drop his head into his palm. Lee was doing a bad job of not laughing over in the corner.

“But you and Patrick drink when you’re looking after her,” I commented. It was not the best thing to say. Jake’s eyes narrowed, and I could see he was about to change his mind about leaving his treasured daughter in my care. I held up my hands in surrender.

“Drinking Coke,” I specified. “Of course, no alcohol. I brought Coke to share, and Lee and I will order pizza for dinner. I didn’t bring any alcohol.”

Jake looked like he was about to bring up another problem, so I clapped my hands together. “Right. I guess you guys better get moving so you can have dinner and get home again. Say good-bye to your daughter. Let’s go.”

Lee took the hint, scooped Maxine out of the swinging chair she was strapped into, and made his way to the front door. Jake was almost trotting behind him, trying to say farewell to his child. Patrick clicked his fingers for his guide dog, and Gregor immediately ran up to the front door, where Patrick could buckle him into the harness.

I watched as Lee strode out, with Jake still nattering in his ear about feeding times and changing times and making sure Maxine was placed on her back. I listened as Jake’s blood pressure probably rose another notch when he got in the car—without his precious child. And I vowed to never become a father. It looked like it was bad for your health.

The car door slammed, and Jake started the engine. I stood next to Lee and muttered out the side of my mouth, “Quick. Let’s get inside before he changes his mind.”

Lee’s smile widened, and we began backing away from the car as it reversed out of the driveway. The minute it was on the street, we bolted for the house. I ran to the window and peered out.

“Did he make it?” Lee whispered over my shoulder.

“He’s stopped at the corner still. I think he’s debating.”

“Ten bucks says he comes home,” Lee murmured.

“No bet,” I demurred, not sure that Jake would make it. “I bet you he rings within fifteen minutes.”

“Five,” Lee rebutted.

After a minute, Jake’s car finally turned the corner. Patrick obviously convinced Jake to move. “What’s the time?” I asked.

I was still watching the road, half convinced Jake would do a lap of the block and come back. “It’s 5:08 p.m. You reckon fifteen minutes?”

“Yep.”

Jake held out longer than we both thought. Twenty-one minutes later, my mobile rang.

“Davo? It’s Patrick. Jake wants to make sure that everything’s okay.” His tone was long suffering.

“Patrick? Tell Jake that we’re doing fine. Maxine has had a swing on her little chair thingy, some tummy time with Uncle Dave, and now Lee’s teaching her the words to ‘Five Little Ducks.’ We’re all under control, but we’re not answering the phone again in the next hour. If Jake rings before six thirty, I’m not going to answer.”

Patrick’s voice was amused as he said, “Okay. Thank you.”

Jake made it to 6:31 p.m.

“Davo? How are things? Do you need me to come home?”

“Hi, Jake,” I trilled in a mock-excited voice. “How wonderful to hear from you. What a surprise. I didn’t expect to hear from you tonight. I heard you had a hot date or some sort of special function on.”

“Arsehole. Tell me if my daughter is still alive or not, before I get in the car and drive home in a panic.” Jake’s voice was tight with stress.

“Relax. Lee’s just finishing giving her the bottle you left. She had her nappy changed
before
her dinnertime, as you commanded, and we’re about to put her to sleep. Now, don’t ring again because you might wake her up.”

I cut the connection and smiled at Lee. “That’s twenty you owe me. He made the hour.”

“Ha.” Lee snorted. “Only just. By one minute. He’s tougher than I thought.”

“A bet’s a bet.”

The football game was on in the background, and I could see Lee’s attention straying from me. Sydney was up by thirteen points over West Coast, and West Coast had control of the ball. Maxine’s eyes were so droopy she wasn’t even sucking on the bottle anymore. Due to her reflux, Jake had told us she needed to be kept upright for at least twenty minutes after feeding.

“Here,” I said, holding out my arms. “There’s a chair in the nursery. I’ll go and sit in there with her, and you can
quietly
yell at the umpires in here.”

Lee froze as a West Coast player lined up for a shot at a goal. He didn’t even budge as I plucked the baby off his lap and moved out of range, barely in time. There was a brief pause on the TV, then the sound of a thump as the player’s foot hit the ball. Lee’s gaze was fixed to the screen, and he suddenly erupted into chaos, jumping up from the couch and yelling at the player.

“No! How dare you kick a goal? Who was the idiot who gave LeCras the ball? You don’t let LeCras anywhere near the ball, because he kicks goals—just like that one. Reid, you better tag your player, or else I’m putting you on the bench.”

I don’t think he noticed that I’d removed Maxine, who probably would’ve been on the floor unnoticed if I hadn’t rescued her. I quickly bore her away, just as I heard Lee start the next helpful piece of advice to his players.

“No, no, no. Open your eyes, ump. That’s holding the ball.” There was a pause, then, “Oh, for goodness sake, Lloyd. Those two things on the end of your arms are called hands. Use them.”

Jake had earlier pointed out the night-light for the corner of the room, and the white piece of cloth to drape over my chest, so if Maxine threw up, it wouldn’t get on my clothes. I settled down on the rocking chair and allowed Maxine to rest on my chest. She snuggled in with her legs pulled up, so I snagged the fluffy pink blanket from between the bars of her cot, and covered her.

I couldn’t believe how trusting she was and how easily she fell asleep, completely content that I would look after her. I was confused and rather alarmed at the prospect. I was no one Miss Maxine should start relying on. For a start, I hated everything pink—like the pink on her blanket, which was soft and cuddly. I ran my hands over the fluffy wool and checked out the pink cartoon sheep embroidered into the corner. The sheep looked so happy, it was suspicious. What did a pink sheep have to be so happy about?

Wasn’t he afraid that being pink made him a sheep to be ridiculed? Didn’t all the other sheep tease him and hurt him for not being white? It must be hard to be a pink sheep in among all those white sheep. Being different, yet still the same. Being the same, but different.

What did his parents think of this little pink sheep they had created? Were they upset that he wasn’t the same snowy white as them? Did they feel the need to hide their little pink offspring away from the rest of the crowd? Did his brothers and sisters feel the need to hide their family ties to the sheep who wasn’t the same as the white ones?

Why, then, did this pink sheep look so happy? Wasn’t he ashamed to be pink? Not that it was
his
fault he was born pink. I guessed that some sheep were simply born a different color to white. But why did this sheep seem so happy about it? The others would be able to tell he was different, just by looking at him. He wouldn’t be able to hide it.

I stroked the sheep’s furry little body and sympathized with him. Being different from everyone else was tough, and this little pink sheep was courageous for being pink and proud of it.

I wondered what I would do if I were a farmer and one of my sheep were born pink. People just wanted the wool, and pink wool could be just as warm as white wool, couldn’t it? It didn’t mean that the pink sheep did anything different from any of the other sheep while they were in the paddock. It just meant that on shearing day, that wool would be put in a different bag. Maybe on shearing day, the pink sheep would be treated differently, but only because he needed a different bag.

In everything else, having a pink sheep would be just like having a white sheep.

Just like having a gay son would be just like having a straight son.

Just like being gay was no different from being straight. Didn’t I have a job, pay taxes, own a house, watch football, eat a burger, and cheat at Monopoly—just like a straight person? Didn’t I love, laugh, and live—just like a straight person? The only difference was that I went home with another gay man at the end of the night. And we didn’t hurt a soul by that action.

Did wearing makeup and gay clothes really make a difference?