You Can't Run From Love (11 page)

Alison stepped forward. “I hoped you’d have been, at least, a little curious. I wasn’t expecting to have to wait for two days, with nothing to do and then come and find you.”

Nothing to do!
Jess couldn’t believe it. Her uncle had remembered that she had invited herself the last time as well, and that Jess had spent the time attempting to entertain a person who had no interest in the outdoors, at all. She obviously still didn’t. So why was she here? Jess folded her arms across her chest. “Alison, you still haven’t answered my question, what do you want?”

Alison placed a hand on the desk separating them. “I came to see you. To talk to you.”

Jess was losing patience. This day couldn’t get much worse. “Talk away.”

“Can we go somewhere a little more comfortable?”

“No Alison. This has been a long day and my dinner is waiting for me.”

Alison moved around to the side of the desk, and Jess felt suddenly claustrophobic. Alison was bigger than she remembered. “Listen Jess, I know it’s been a long time. You may not believe this, but a day has not gone by where I haven’t thought of you. It’s true. What we had back then was something special, and I’ve regretted letting you go ever since.”

Jess couldn’t comprehend what she was hearing. “You never let me go. I left.”

Alison closed the gap further. “I gave you no choice.”

Jess snorted. “Please don’t tell me you’ve come back to rekindle what we had sixteen years ago.”

“I hoped we might at least get to know each other again and see if the flame still burned. I know mine for you hasn’t been extinguished.”

Jess grinned incredulously. “You were always good with the sweet talk, that hasn’t changed.”

Alison touched Jess’s arm. “Does that mean we still have a flicker?”

Jess shrugged her arm out of Alison’s reach. “No, it doesn’t. Don’t be so ridiculous. There will never be anything between us again, so don’t even fool yourself.”

Alison frowned. “Do you have someone else?”

“That, Alison, is none of your business.” Jess was beginning to feel uncomfortable. Was this woman serious?

Alison looked at her confidently. “I don’t think you have. You wouldn’t still be living with your uncle.”

“This is where I live and work. Why wouldn’t I still be living here?”

Alison ignored her question. “I know I hurt you, and I want to let you know how sorry I am.”

Jess was dumbstruck at the audacity of the woman to think she had that great an influence over her life. She went to say something but fell silent.
Damn.
The woman was right. She had been a warning that getting involved with someone had a cost and that cost was too great. “Alison, I really am hungry and tired. Can we talk about this tomorrow?” Jess could hear the weakness in her voice. She couldn’t fight it tonight and she knew this woman wasn’t going to go easily.

Alison smiled. A smug one Jess thought. “Fine with me. Until the morning then?”

Jess rolled her eyes. “Tomorrow, fine.”

Alison stepped back. “Don’t hide this time. I will still find you.”

***

Rachel sighed with contentment as she slipped into bed. The lack of sleep the night before worrying about Jess and the frustrating day she’d had left her weary. She’d been attempting a set of illustrations for a new comic and they looked as lifeless as the day outside. Only the midges appeared to enjoy the damp, still days like today. Even the mountains that could usually relax her appeared weighed down with the mist that hung heavy over them. Scott, her agent, had also telephoned with the details of two more exhibitions and appearances she needed to make before returning home for her sister’s wedding. And the arrangements had been finally confirmed for the launch of Michelle’s book, which meant she would have to be in London at the beginning of November. She’d hoped to avoid the party, signings and publicity that would surround the release, but it seemed she had to be seen in public with the woman. There was some good news though, she could probably return here and travel to London as needed. That way she could spend as much time as possible with Jack. After her visit with him this afternoon, it seemed all the more important. She smiled. And, of course, she would see Jess.

Chapter Fourteen

More and more aroused, Jess opened her eyes to find Alison looking up at her from between her legs. Smiling triumphantly she exclaimed, “I’m going to make you come.” Her head slowly lowered and Jess felt a tongue gently stroke at her swollen folds. She tried to move, yet couldn’t. The pressure was building and all she could do was clutch the sheets. She hadn’t wanted this woman touching her again, let alone giving her this much pleasure. She couldn’t understand what had happened and fighting the feeling now was futile. Suddenly a rush of blood pounded all her senses and washed through her body and she shuddered as she climaxed. She started to weep; she had not wanted to give in to Alison. A voice cooed in her ear, reassuring her everything would be all right as she was pulled in to a tight hug and fingers ran through her hair. She began to relax and opened her eyes to find Rachel smiling that adorable smile of hers and then devilishly licking her lips before leaning into her and capturing the ones she had her eyes on.

Jess blurted something, not understanding quite what, and scrambled to sit up. Her body glistened with sweat as she looked around the room. “Good grief! It’s a dream.” She slumped back onto her pillow, gasping, “What a nightmare.”

Getting back to sleep after that was impossible. The thought of another dream…Although the thought of Rachel playing both roles, wasn’t in the least unpleasant, in fact it was just a little too pleasing.
I’m going mad.
She rolled out of bed and threw herself under the shower.

Heading out with a cup of tea to the wooded glade, to watch the birds fight over food at the feeders, she reviewed her conversation with Alison. She was disappointed in her reaction. “Why was I so weak?” If she was going to have to speak to Alison she wanted to be firm. Basically tell the woman where to go. She shook her head, exasperated at the thought that Alison wanted to rekindle something they’d had donkey’s years ago.

The only good thing she could muster out of seeing Alison was the reassurance that time had definitely quenched her lust for the woman. There was no chance of a sexual encounter despite her dream. She frowned and bit her bottom lip. The same couldn’t be said for Alison. “Jess Brewster, you’re not weak,” she told herself.

***

Rachel could hear what she thought were heated voices as she approached the barn at the back of the house.

“Alison, I thought I made it clear last night.”

“You said some things and then proclaimed you were tired. You didn’t want to hear what I had to say, that’s why you agreed to talk to me today.”

“Alison, you turn up after sixteen years, late at night expecting me to talk, so I talked. What more do you want?”

“You,” came the short seductive remark.

Rachel had reached the barn door but stood to the side out of sight. She couldn’t help but listen.

Alison stepped toward Jess. “Look, Jess, I made a huge mistake back then. I loved you and I couldn’t help myself. You were fun and so—”

“Gullible!” Jess interrupted.

Alison smiled. “Innocent. You were a delight. I enjoyed life when I was with you. I still feel the same as I did then. I’ve never forgotten what we had, how you made me feel.”

There was silence and Rachel felt ill. They must be kissing. She wasn’t sure what to do. If she moved they might hear her. Yet the last thing she wanted to hear was Jess making love to someone other than her.

Then Alison continued. “You know I love you Jess and you did say that you would always love me, I remember those words.”

“Love! What a heap of nonsense. That so-called love nearly cost someone her life. Have you forgotten the pain you caused Gretchen? I caused Gretchen.” Her face reddened with anger and she could hear her voice rise with every word. “She cried on my shoulder for weeks, yes weeks, don’t you remember? Telling me all about her unfaithful lover and cursing the bitch who was stealing her away. If I had known that bitch was me, I…” She let out a heavy breath. “For goodness sake, Alison, she tried to kill herself!”

“What would you have done? What Jess? Could you in all honesty say you would have stopped seeing me if you had known?”

Jess closed her eyes, shaking her head as if to clear it. All she could feel was an erupting headache. “Yes, I would have. Now, please, just go.”

As she attempted to pass, Alison gripped her arm. “I’m not sure I believe that.”

Jess shook her head. “Believe what you like.”

The grip tightened. “Jess, I’m sorry, I know I handled the whole affair all wrong, but you swept me off my feet.” She looked searchingly into Jess’s eyes. “I never thought I’d upset you that much, you just walked away.”

“You never upset me, not in the way you think, and, for the record, I never swept you off your feet, you came running after me. I didn’t know what hit me.”

“I didn’t hear you complaining.” She smiled, speaking softly, “You were irresistible, and I wanted a chance with you. See where things would go. Once I’d lied about not having a girlfriend, I didn’t seem to be able to tell you the truth. I felt guilty the entire time.” She waited. Jess didn’t reply. “I explained that to you, and all you did was give me an ultimatum. You or Gretchen? I couldn’t leave Gretchen, not after what she’d done.”

Exasperated, Jess took a deep breath. “Alison, that’s why I gave you the ultimatum, I knew you wouldn’t leave her. You were a coward from the outset or you would have told me about her in the first place. I didn’t want to leave any doubt that I wouldn’t be coming back.”

Alison’s grip grew firmer still. “But I loved you.”

Jess shrugged her arm. “You’re hurting me.” Alison instantly let go. “That didn’t matter then and it doesn’t matter now. I
found
her, Alison. I thought she was dead. I was so happy when they revived her. And then
you
entered that hospital room. I felt physically sick and disgusted, I couldn’t believe my eyes.
You
were her lover, and I was the one who drove Gretchen to take her own life.” The feelings of disgust hit her again. “You’re not the only coward. I walked away and left Gretchen to you.”

Alison reached for her hand. “I’m sorry. You will never know how sorry I am. Believe me when I say, I never cheated again. I learned my lesson.”

Jess pulled away. “I’m afraid I find that hard to believe.” She sighed. “I can’t judge you. I don’t know you and I never really did.”

As she started to move away, Alison desperately clutched at her arm again. “Please, Jess. If it helps? I got my comeuppance, Gretchen did the same to me and only after I had wasted a further fourteen years of my life.”

Rachel’s sadness at what she had heard and her guilt at eavesdropping on a very private conversation were suddenly extinguished by a flare of temper. Michelle had said those exact same words when Rachel told her to leave, and she wasn’t even the one having the affair. Taking a deep breath, she steadied herself and breezed into the barn to stop the distress this woman was obviously dredging up in Jess. “Oh sorry, I thought I heard voices. Morning, Jess, is my bike ready?”

Rachel looked straight at Jess. The strain in her face was apparent. Rachel wanted nothing more than to run over, take her into her arms and soothe that look away. Instead, she produced what she thought was her most perfect smile. Relief flooded Jess’s face, followed by a blush.

Jess yanked her arm from Alison’s grasp and started toward Rachel. “Morning, Rachel, I have your bicycle over here. It’s all ready for you.” She looked over her shoulder. “Excuse me, Ms. Carpenter.”

Rachel stepped forward and whispered, “Is there anything I can do?”

Jess couldn’t help herself; she was lost in those rich brown eyes. “You could kiss me. That might make her go away.” Not believing what had stumbled out of her mouth, she blurted, “Sorry I…I…”

Rachel felt a glow grow all over her. She had never seen anyone look so mortified and embarrassed by what they had said. Jess was the deepest shade of red from her chest to the tips of her ears. She continued to apologize and then talked at hundred miles an hour as she tightened up the saddle and went over how to use the gears.

Rachel grinned. She had to save her. “It’s okay; I know how it all works. I’ve ridden enough bikes in my time. I do need a helmet though.” Jess handed the helmet over and Rachel could sense her relief. She smiled. “Thank you.”

As Rachel pushed the bike out of the barn, she saw Alison standing to the side, obviously waiting for her to leave, so she could pounce on Jess, yet again. Rachel gave a heavy sigh, unsure as to whether she was disappointed at not being the one to take up Jess’s morning or sorry for Jess, with what might be lying ahead.

As Rachel disappeared up the track, Jess gave a wave and called, “Take care.” Footfalls were behind her. She turned to see Alison. Groaning, she asked, “What do you want now?”

Chapter Fifteen

Julie swung open the door. “Hi, come in. Sorry, I’ve got to rush back to the kitchen.”

Jess grinned. “I’ll see you in there.” She closed the front door and placed her overnight bag at the bottom of the stairs.

Julie smiled as Jess walked into the kitchen. “So what’s going on in that head of yours, besides Jack, Marie, Don and the lodges?”

Jess knew her friend was trying to make light of what probably sounded cryptic and not a little hysterical on the phone. She swallowed hard. “Rachel and Alison.”

Julie frowned. “Alison? Who’s Alison? Oh, my God. Not that Alison?”

Julie’s reaction eased Jess’s tension a little. “Yeah. That Alison. I’m surprised you remember her.”

“How the hell could I forget her? She ruined your life!”

Jess chortled, relaxing. “I think that’s a little extreme.”

Julie grumped. “I don’t think so. That woman single-handedly put you off relationships for life.”

Jess sighed. She knew what Julie’s reaction would be, so why was she surprised. And why did she really want to talk about this anyway? She replied. “No she didn’t.”